Aaron Kessler @aaronkessler Twitter profile

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@okichloeo

Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

7 years

Matt Olson's batting stance is literally only used by him and some players from NES Bases Loaded

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

4 years

@sara__stock 👏👏👏👏👏👏 This is a great response. Everyone on here says Robert's a great guy and I'm buying. You're an awesome sport and I bet he is too, he gained a fan today. I'll be rooting for him.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

4 years

I implore you all to put on the Red Sox game, they have this dude Robert Stock pitching, and he looks like he's twice-divorced and completely given up on life. I can't stop watching him. It's transfixing.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

Grocery stores will remain open, but parking will now cost $15 and all prepared foods will come with a $27.99 resort fee.

8 News Now

@8NewsNow

5 years

. @GovSisolak : "We are creating the COVID-19 response relief and recovery task force." It will be led by former MGM CEO Jim Murren #8NN #COVID ー19

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

7 years

If you had started 17 games ago with $100 and rolled it over on the Celtics moneyline every game, you would now have $0.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

7 years

After Ben explained away the dirty hits with "AFC North football.", that's gonna be my excuse for everything now. "Why didn't you unload the dishwasher?" "AFC North football." "Did you buy three more cases of beer?" "AFC North football."

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

If you're scoring at home, Max Scherzer is now the only pitcher in MLB history to have one brown eye, one blue eye, and one black eye

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

The guy I'm sitting next to seems cool

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

Since 2015, Homer Bailey is 9-27 with a 6.25 ERA. He will make $23,000,000 this year.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

TREND: The Browns are undefeated (1-0 ATS) in games where a player with at least 10 sacks attacks an opposing quarterback with their own helmet

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

7 years

If you started with $100 and rolled it over on the Indians every game since the start of their winning streak, you would now have $0.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

7 years

Roy Williams: I'm going to honor Virginia by leading my team to the most embarassing second round game possible! Mick Cronin: You call that embarassing? I'll show you embarassing! Bruce Pearl: lol hold my beer

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

Feels weird to see a cell company advertising "great coverage" in an ad during a Big 12 football game

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

20th current park, 26th overall. It's amazing here. I'd only put PNC behind Wrigley 🐐 and AT&T (and it's very close). Find me at the game and I'll buy you an IC just like this one.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

If you had started betting against the Orioles twenty games ago with $100 and parlayed your winnings every game, you would now have $0.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

2 years

Tournament MVP so far: McDowell's hat and Kennesaw State hoodie combo

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

7 years

Now available at the @GoldenNuggetLV sportsbook: 2018 Regular season only: Stanton/Judge o/u 86.5 total HRs Stanton/Judge/Sanchez o/u 115.5 total HRs Stanton/Judge o/u 335.5 total Ks

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

Whether you like him or not, @Marlins_Man going down to the Virgin Islands to expose the Marlins' new "corporate office" as a PO Box is the absolute best thing happening right now. Marlins Man is the hero America needs.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

Personal news: After fourteen great years, today is my last day at @GoldenNuggetLV . I've been blessed to work with some amazing people, way too many to name, but I'd be remiss to not mention @Gollumlv specifically. I'll miss this place, and I'm excited for the next adventure.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

The Nuggets are playing the Blazers TOMORROW and not today? Nuggets. Blazers. 4/20. Way to drop the ball on that one, NBA.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

This is the first Kaepernick take I've seen that everyone can agree on

Busted Coverage

@bustedcoverage

5 years

I’ve come to the conclusion that I want the Lions to sign Kaepernick & start him on Thanksgiving for all the family fight videos it would generate.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

@darrenrovell

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

9 months

If you had started on October 30 with $100 and rolled it over on the moneyline taking the team facing the Pistons every game, you would now have $0.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

When you don't quite understand how altitude works

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

4 years

Can't wait until tomorrow when the @GoldenKnights will probably name an official fentanyl distributor partnership or something

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

I own my screw-ups. I lost a lot of money on the Chargers tonight. If you lost money on the Chargers because you followed me, I'm sorry. These things happen, and it's why they call it gambling and not giving money away.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

I think my favorite thing about sports betting is: When I lose a game by a point, it's because I'm unlucky...but when I win by a point, it's because I'm smart.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

Every damn time. Clown like this: (exists) Public: "OMG DO YOU KNOW THIS GUY" Me: "No. He's a clown." Public: "NO HE'S CHANGING THE GAME" (later) Clown: (busts out) Public SHOULD say: "wow maybe we should pump the brakes on guys like this" Public actually: (finds new clown)

Jason Meisner

@jmetr22b

5 years

JUST IN: New Trier grad Rob Gorodetsky made a name for himself as a maverick in the Las Vegas sports betting scene, with a seemingly bottomless bankroll and the guts to lay it all on the line. Now, federal charges in Chicago say it was all a mirage.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

Man, I'd hate to be the guy who gave this guy a public platform. Anyone remember who that was?

Darren Rovell

@darrenrovell

5 years

“Your entire family will be beheaded and burned alive” “I will enter your home as you sleep and kill you” "I’ll sever your neck open with a dull knife” These are among the messages that Ben "Parlay" Patz is alleged to have sent to athletes

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

If you had told me a year ago I'd be learning Cartesian philosophy from MC Hammer tweets my mind would be blown, but I'm 100% here for this.

MC HAMMER e/acc

@MCHammer

3 years

I told him wait til Descartes finds out even single cell life forms have experiences and he just wouldn’t stop laughing 😂

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

David Ortiz: PED guy, really good baseball player, nice to reporters: Hall of Fame Barry Bonds: PED guy, literally better at every single aspect of baseball than Ortiz, not nice to reporters: outside looking in What an absolute joke the HOF is. Straight trash organization.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

1 year

If you had started with $100 at the beginning of the 2016 preseason and rolled it over on the Ravens moneyline every preseason game since then, you would now have $0.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

when u give up a home run to the pitcher

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

4 years

Oklahoma QB to win a Heisman before 2026: Yes +375 No -450

Blinkin

@blinkinriley

4 years

@aaronkessler Odds that an Oklahoma QB wins another Heisman in the next 5 years

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

Now we'll never find out what channel truTV is

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

As tempting as Bears -4.5 vs. David Blough might be, please allow me to remind you that covering -4.5 still requires scoring at least five points.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

My Xmas gift to you, Twitter: I'll make odds on anything you want, sports or otherwise. Entertainment purposes only, naturally. Use hashtag #MakeOddsOnAnything . Let's start the party early this year. Start sending in your ideas now, I'll run this for today AND tomorrow.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

"Why do you enter those contests?" ON MY WAY and FINS SCORE FIRST combined for a very #nice 69% on the Supercontest Reboot, good enough for P2 and T3. Congrats to my partner @NFL_Totals and my other silent partner.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

HOT TAKE ALERT: Nathan's hot dogs are absolutely awful and I wouldn't eat one if you paid me. Team Vienna Beef over here. Hebrew National is also acceptable.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

7 years

1) Never change, Reddit. 2) I'm 100% on board with this.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

Twitter friends: Don't be afraid to tell people you're not OK. A lot of us are losing a lot of things, and sports are somewhere we've always gone for escape. Be there for your friends, and let them be there for you. It's OK to talk. It's OK to not be OK. It's OK to need help.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

4 years

You wish you got texts as good as the ones I get.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

BREAKING: To fully cover his liability on a furniture promotion linked to the 2021-22 NBA season, Mattress Mack has wagered $7.30 on the Houston Rockets to win the 2021-22 NBA title.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

4 years

Just had a guy come in and ask for a line on the Pro Bowl. Nature is healing.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

@S4E80 @adamrank I want literally anybody who isn't in the McCaskey bloodline to buy them

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

If smart TVs were really smart, they'd call the problem gambling hotline if you spent more than 30 minutes watching FIU/Marshall (I have absolutely been watching FIU/Marshall)

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

4 years

Stole this from Facebook. Best Nagy costume I've seen.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

Every 2019 UNLV football game now up for betting at @GoldenNuggetLV ! UNLV -26 vs S Utah Ark St -3 @ UNLV UNLV +19 @ NW UNLV +4.5 @ Wyo Boise -13.5 @ UNLV UNLV +15 @ Vandy UNLV +12 @ Fresno SDSU -6 @ UNLV UNLV PK @ CSU Hawaii -2.5 @ UNLV SJ St +7.5 @ UNLV UNLV +7 @ UNR

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

Wayne Gretzky as an Oiler: 0.837 goals per game Brandon Pirri as a Golden Knight: 1.333 goals per game Just saying. Pirri 🐐

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

Didn't post this when I bet it. Can I get some #MajorWager love?

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

4 years

After viewing the response to my @RobertStock6 tweet from earlier and checking out his Twitter, I'm totally sold on the guy. I have a new favorite non-Cub now. Throw that heat, big man!

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

4 years

HAHAHAHA KICKING IS FOR LOSERS

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

9 years

UNLV's kicker just got an unnecessary roughness penalty for a tackle on the kickoff. And just like that, I have a new favorite player.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

If a bettor would have parlayed a Croatia/Spain 3-3 draw with a France win for $100, they would have $0.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

1 year

If you started with $100 at the beginning of the season and bet it all on the Rays and rolled it over every day, you would now have $0.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

I don't post winning tickets for the same reason, and also because I don't have any

Rufus

@RufusPeabody

5 years

Why do I not tweet pictures of winning betting tickets? Not only is it deceiving (without seeing the losing tickets, you know nothing of my ROI), but it also gives touts the opportunity to claim those tickets as their own, and use them for marketing purposes.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

Just snagged a foul grounder! And yes, I gave it to a kid.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

Thing I'll never understand: Why so many people can't accept the fact that "Georgia is substantially better than Notre Dame" and "Notre Dame deserves to be in the playoffs over Georgia" are not mutually exclusive statements.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

Action if fight goes anytime before 12/31/2020 regardless of weight or location Jr. Middleweight Gambling Twitter Championship Eliminator Bout Darren "The Brand" Rovell +450 Matt "Kentucky Lightning" Lindeman -600

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

4 years

On this Derby Day, allow my to share my ultimate mint julep recipe with you: Order something good instead.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

7 years

Friday openers: UVa -22.5 UMBC Creighton -1.5 KSt A&M -4.5 Prov UNC -17.5 Lips Butler -1 Ark Purdue -21 CSUF MichSt -13.5 Bucknell UNR -1.5 Texas Cincy -16 GSU Mizz -1.5 FSU WVU -9.5 Murray Wichita -12 Marshall Clem -4.5 NMSt Auburn -11 Charleston

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

Urban Meyer implies the existence of Rural Meyer but that's just Bobby Petrino

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

Hot take: Cincinnati coaching move from Cronin to Brannen is an upgrade

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

The Saints: (starts driving, moving the ball really well) nobody: absolutely nobody: like, nobody in the history of ever: Sean Payton: I should definitely call a read option for Taysom Hill right now

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

This was the longest rush by a Detroit player at home since Barry Sanders

NBA Retweet

@RTNBA

3 years

Isaiah Stewart running after LeBron

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

Daily hot take: The Office isn't funny.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

Narrator: "They would not, in fact, be favored by that much."

Darren Rovell

@darrenrovell

5 years

Ohio State will definitely be north of a 60+ point favorite against Rutgers next week.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

11 months

ESPN just said in their Vegas history package that gambling expanded north from Fremont Street to the Strip. Is it that hard to hire a fact checker who can hold a map right side up?

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

4 years

Just in case anyone watching this "halftime" show was wondering, it's absolutely not dark in Vegas right now

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

Having my most profitable college football weekend of the season so far! The trick: simply not betting.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

2 years

Now up to TWENTY games in a row. If the Dolphins' opposing QB has an O in their last name, Dolphins win. If the Dolphins' opposing QB does not have an O in their last name, Dolphins lose. Next week: BUF and Josh Allen. Wager accordingly.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

7 years

@Singlemaltfiend obvious troll is obvious

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

First team to make an SEC championship Game: Oklahoma -180 Texas +162 SEC, football, or the universe ceases to exist: +30000

Blinkin

@blinkinriley

3 years

@aaronkessler Odds on first team between Oklahoma and Texas to make an SEC Championship Game

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

Ladies, if he: - constantly disappoints you - makes you wish it was 13 years ago - keeps promising to be better but never delivers - can't grasp Brad Underwood's system He's not your man. He's Illinois basketball.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

"Klay's going to play." "JK Klay's not going to play!" And the NBA wants an integrity fee. EL OH FREAKIN' EL.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

4 years

@thespinzone You could always block. Or charge?

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

7 years

If you were to line up all the white guys in D-I basketball and tell me that one of them was named Ot Elmore, I'm almost certain I could look at them and guess right on the first try.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

Some days are pretty good

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

4 years

Feel like I should drag him for stealing my #content . (Although, ironically, that's stealing his #content .) RT for do it Like for also do it

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

Probably the best thread I've ever read on Twitter. Treat yourself.

Allan

@allan_cheapshot

5 years

Crazy Vince McMahon Stories [thread]

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

Damn, can you imagine if Bama had a guy like Jalen Hurts?

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

2 years

If you started with $100 and rolled it over on the Seattle Mariners for the last 15 games, you would now have $0.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

Anyways, here's my somewhat nuanced take on the Ridley situation: Do I think Ridley did anything *wrong* in the sense of hurting the game's integrity? No. Do I think the "No players gambling on NFL games" rule is v. important w/regard to optics and the punishment is just? Yes.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

4 years

Broncos fans: We have no quarterback! We're screwed! Bears fans:

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

If you had taken $100 in 1961 and invested it in Warren Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway Corporation, only taking it out to bet the entire amount on USC to beat Oregon State straight up each time they played in L.A., you would now have (adjusted for inflation) $0.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

Can we talk about the fact that 2018 Ole Miss had DK Metcalf AND AJ Brown and didn't even make bowl eligibility?

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

This is equivalent to a doctor treating a patient for a broken finger, a fever, and a mildly strained hamstring while completely ignoring the fact that they have stage 3 cancer.

Adam Hoge

@AdamHoge

5 years

Some breaking #Bears coaching news: The team is moving on from OC Mark Helfrich, OL coach Harry Hiestand, TE coach Kevin Gilbride and assistant special teams coach Brock Olivo, a source told @WGNRadio .

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

50 likes OR 20 RTs and I'll spend the rest of the day assembling a "Best Vegas restaurant (that I have been to)" bracket for y'all to vote on over the next week. Admit it: it's more exciting content than some guy doing pushups.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

Can't wait for the 30 For 30 in ten or fifteen years when we get the real story about Anthony Brown and Shawn Hochuli's wife

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

There's always one #1 seed that everyone thinks is fraudulent...But with SDSU and Baylor both possibly getting one this year, there might well be two. Honestly never seen a tournament even close to this. Kansas is best but they're VERY vulnerable. March is gonna be fuuuuuuun.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

New rule: People are banned from referring to anything less than a +200 underdog winning as an "upset".

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

5 years

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

Lion way more vicious and would show out as the true apex predator. Lion -1300 Bear +800 Also "neutral climate" is my favorite disclaimer of the day.

Brandon McLean

@mcleangolf20

6 years

@aaronkessler What’s the line on a full grown African Lion vs a Polar Bear? Neutral climate #MakeOddsOnAnything

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

7 years

The best thing to happen during Truck Series qualifying today was @pkligerman , driver of the Tide Pods truck, reminding the viewers not to eat Tide Pods. THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

Happy football season, everyone.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

3 years

Bought my first crypto less than a month ago. There is nothing on earth I can't mush.

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

4 years

@RufusPeabody @remmd4

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

To answer the Bama/Bills question I was asked in the DMs: If Bama played the Bills, but Bama also got the addition of an "unblockable" two-year-old gorilla, I make it Bills -16.5. Gotta think they'd figure out misdirection schemes to adjust. (Yes, I actually got asked this.)

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

6 years

My second-biggest play of the year is in. Same team I bet on my biggest play of the year. Chargers -4. #BoltUp

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Aaron Kessler

@aaronkessler

7 years

What the Olympics needs is a secondary audio feed with hammered people who don't really know the rules of each sport doing commentary

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