😀 @______Bernardo Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@penyukastw21

@Biagiarelli_6

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@______Bernardo

4 months

Airbnb host reported me for having my friend over so I reported her for having an undisclosed ring camera … we’re having a report-off

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@______Bernardo

7 years

Me in highschool: takes 8 consecutive classes + extracurriculars/clubs Me in college after logging into one online class:

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@______Bernardo

4 months

And now there’s a moth in here… let me report her again

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@______Bernardo

4 months

She dropped it after I told her I was reporting her … you need this passive income more than I need this place 😹

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@______Bernardo

7 years

Me cancelling the Snapchat call after hitting the call button on accident

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@______Bernardo

4 months

@missed_3pointer @myhomegirlDubs AND WHERE THEY SURVEIL YOU TO CHECK YOURE NOT BRINGING ANYONE LIKE IT’S LITERALLY GIVING THIS

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@______Bernardo

5 years

This man got in 3 ivys.... honestly I kind of find it inspirational. It shows me getting into those institutions means nothing

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@______Bernardo

4 months

I understand not wanting parties but if you don’t want strangers in your house perhaps airbnb isn’t the best option for you… perhaps a job might be better!

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@______Bernardo

7 years

@Von_Hertzog @DrunkOnCircus @PrizzilLuxe @chamoniIIe @serfbort That girl, as you all may now know, was Albert Einstein

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@______Bernardo

5 years

How you mad cause YOU'RE spreading lies?😭

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@______Bernardo

6 years

I don't see a "it's too cold and rainy so I'm cancelling class" email... my internet MUST be slow, Imma go back to bed just in case

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@______Bernardo

4 months

@theguycon Listen! I looked up those terms of service so fast like girl if I gotta pack and go somewhere else I’m getting you delisted 😭

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@______Bernardo

6 years

I just remembered oomf matched with a guy on tinder and she told him she lived in riverside and he was like "be careful, I used to mug people there" like skdjdkskd WHAT

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@______Bernardo

5 years

Personally love it when meritocracy gets exposed as a lie😌 like when that jfk harvard essay got posted and it was 3rd grader writing

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@______Bernardo

5 years

@rondraper_ He was prob like "that's enough activism for today💟"

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@______Bernardo

5 years

@dangellowill77 Not a damn thing

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@______Bernardo

6 years

UT students really are extra as fuck like I never hear my friends from other schools stress over internships, research experience and orgs the way we do like maybe we are doing a little too much

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@______Bernardo

6 years

Wait... people travel to Austin for .... round up??? LMFAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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@______Bernardo

4 years

@Tay_Lenay @blKKstar A flat tire is temporary but bed bugs are forever😌

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@______Bernardo

5 years

Yall at 86: let me tell yall about summer 2016 Yall's grandkids: can we PLEASE have something to eat....

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@______Bernardo

3 years

No cause visiting Texas after living somewhere walkable feels so annoying

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@______Bernardo

7 years

@BadicalDude @sydneyevans_ @Bradley_Lambeth Lmfao that's how I knew she was homophobic, if you think ppl choose to be gay then you MUST feel superior in some way

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@______Bernardo

6 years

Me leaving the 7 eleven on guadalupe at 1 a.m. pretending I can't hear the man sitting on the sidewalk screaming at me

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@______Bernardo

6 years

Being able to learn history through a non-Western and non-white lense is so helpful to understanding the world today and people shouldn't have to wait till college for it

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@______Bernardo

2 years

No one’s grilling today all the men are on Instagram live

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@______Bernardo

7 years

Me: *has 5 readings, 10 homework assignments, 2 quizzes, 3 essays due* Also me:

Dauntless Manifesthoe

@CupcakKe_rapper

7 years

I'm bout to go out

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@______Bernardo

6 years

Scammers don't even try to do their research I keep getting phone calls telling me my car's warranty is about to expire. Beloved WHAT car????

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@______Bernardo

4 years

It's the fact that the U.S. isn't just doing a bad job with COVID, but objectively THE worst job in the entire globe of 195 countries

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@______Bernardo

7 years

Greg Fenves: Omg 2 dead and 4 injured in bombing :(( ✨Thread on why raising y'all's tuition is a good idea✨

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@______Bernardo

10 months

Him turning down a whole movie premiere but some of y’all can’t give up that drywall sandwich from Starbucks😭

baby ackee 🔻

@weeklydeekly

10 months

Idk I have to stan. I think I’m a pookie now.

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@______Bernardo

4 years

For reference, this is more than the entire countries of Germany (198,310), France (168,810), Colombia (120,281), Canada (106,106), China (83,565), Nigeria (29,286), Taiwan (449), Vietnam (369), etc. If Texas was a country it would be 16th in the world in # of cases.

Austin Statesman

@statesman

4 years

BREAKING: A grim milestone, Texas has reached 200,000 coronavirus cases, 17 days after reaching 100,000, a number that took four months to hit 1/

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@______Bernardo

7 years

UT culture is going home for break and talking about how you're thriving being away from the toxicity of UT for 2 days just to then realize your family is toxic as fuck too and now you wanna go back sldhdkd

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@______Bernardo

6 years

$100 to any female. That's it. That's the tweet. Men get your wallets out it's time for reparations😌

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@______Bernardo

7 years

Honestly that whole transition from being mutually in love with someone and watch you slowly become a burden to them (a burden to talk to, to give attention to, to be with) was the worst thing I've ever felt and I rather die than go through that again

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@______Bernardo

7 years

No wonder these juniors and seniors look old as shit they're actually 30 years old and haven't been able to register to the classes they need for 10+ years now

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@______Bernardo

4 years

Stayed in school cause Nicki told me to😌

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@______Bernardo

7 years

Me going back to UT and seeing half of UT at the academic probation office

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@______Bernardo

6 years

me when men say they have "a dark sense of humor"

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@______Bernardo

6 years

Gays in middle school on askfm when someone would ask them if they're gay

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@______Bernardo

7 years

Good morning what's UT charging me for today

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@______Bernardo

7 years

I deleted canvas because how addicting it is. People can open up their grades but cant open up their bible. I replaced the canvas app with my Bible app🤧🤧

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@______Bernardo

5 years

breaking news: human lives matter even if it's just 3% of them

Grand Master Jigg

@TheyLoveDjJigga

5 years

Corona virus got a 97% survival rate nd the whole country panicking

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@______Bernardo

5 years

LMFAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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@______Bernardo

6 years

My mutuals not from UT must have such a low opinion of this school cause it rly is always some shit going on here

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@______Bernardo

7 years

My brain stem looking for my last brain cell during a test

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@______Bernardo

5 years

She said shut up Im trying to lie to these dummies

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@______Bernardo

7 years

Me in high school: ugh I got a B I wish I could've done a bit better I was so close to an A! Me in college after getting a 60:

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@______Bernardo

7 years

@CupcakKe_rapper QU3EN OF TRANSPORTATION Uber and Lyft just went out of business

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@______Bernardo

11 months

@makeupbyshaniah

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@______Bernardo

5 years

People sugarcoat this as "networking" but it's really just nepotism

Eugene Scott

@Eugene_Scott

5 years

“Research shows that 70% of all jobs are not published publicly on jobs sites and as much as 80% of jobs are filled through personal and professional connections.”

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@______Bernardo

4 years

I did my best🥺

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@______Bernardo

4 years

Alright... the apartment is ready. Do y'all wanna see?🥺

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@______Bernardo

4 years

Seems pretty clear to me

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@______Bernardo

5 years

This is what my cells look like when you look at them under a microscope

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@______Bernardo

5 years

Tech companies that currently work with ICE: Amazon Microsoft Palantir (their whole business model is surveillance) Thomson Reuters Dell Motorola Hewlett Packard Enterprise

[email protected]

@mle_goldman

5 years

California Eyes Ban on Contracts With All Tech Companies That Work With ICE Proud to stand alongside @b_haddy of @SecureJustice , who helped write this legislation, at Tuesday's hearing in Sacramento. #NoDetentionNoSurveillance

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@______Bernardo

6 years

Imma leave out my GPA from my graduation post. Just know I graduated.

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@______Bernardo

6 years

Y'all be like "It's custom to follow back anyone that has UT in their bio😋" and then be shocked when someone puts a swastika on your TL

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@______Bernardo

7 years

Me: h- The whole world: COLLEGE IS NOT LIKE HIGH SCHOOL. YOU'RE GONNA FAIL ALL YOUR CLASSES THE FIRST YEAR. IN FACT YOU'RE GONNA DIE.🗣🗣🗣

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@______Bernardo

4 years

The international student visa thing is insane cause like... why is ICE even allowed to make these decisions ....

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@______Bernardo

4 years

Yall ever change the scenario you're daydreaming about... like let me change the channel what else is on

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@______Bernardo

6 years

Students going back to their small towns for the summer are braver than the marines

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@______Bernardo

7 years

I get sad that we haven't had music from her in a while but then remember she too busy saving the world

Rap-Up

@RapUp

7 years

Rihanna helps raise $2.3 billion for global education

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@______Bernardo

6 years

Me filling out my course evaluation surveys

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@______Bernardo

5 years

I need the UT photographers to step up and get this machine cause I want this for graduation😌

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@______Bernardo

5 years

MEEEEEEEEE. This ain't 911!

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@______Bernardo

2 years

“Soft life” influencer followers watching the same person brushing their teeth and opening their blinds for the 57th time

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@______Bernardo

5 years

@alassopairts

Pattern Ignorer

@erasmusNYT

5 years

revisiting a classic, JFK’s Harvard admissions essay:

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@______Bernardo

6 years

I remember I was at starbucks and a UT student walked in loud as fuck doing a periscope. Then I scrolled down my TL and saw it had like 1 viewer. Girl you facetiming?

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@______Bernardo

4 years

One thing about UT they're gonna establish a committee instead of doing something useful

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@______Bernardo

7 years

We need a disney princess that's SITTING👑💁‍♀️💅 We need a disney princess that's SITTING👑💁‍♀️💅 We need a disney princess that's SITTING👑💁‍♀️💅 We need a disney princess that's SITTING👑💁‍♀️💅 We need a disney princess that's SITTING👑💁‍♀️💅

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@______Bernardo

4 years

Ever since that ONE student government election (and we all know the one) I feel like everybody collectively gave up on the UT government cause I haven't heard about it since 💀

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@______Bernardo

6 years

Instagram is such a last resource for a distraction. If you see me liking shit on there and watching your ig story just know I'm BORED

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@______Bernardo

5 years

@lolsooj He could def get a job at herbalife

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@______Bernardo

6 years

I love how twitter clowns anyone that tries to come on here to flex. Keep that winning shit on instagram

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@______Bernardo

4 years

You have to FEED plants??? What happened to photosynthesis damn I gotta do EVERYTHING IN THIS BITCH!!!

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@______Bernardo

7 years

Wow I can't believe the cute guy at that party didn't approach me even though I did absolutely nothing to get his attention

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@______Bernardo

6 years

Why do professors for mandatory classes ask "what do you hope to get out of this course?" like literally all I need is that check mark in my degree audit obviously I'm not taking statistics for fun

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@______Bernardo

6 years

UT locals complain about how other UT students don't follow back but all y'all tweet about is how you want besitos so whose fault is it?????

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@______Bernardo

7 years

Wow first Michelle Obama, and now Cupcakke is at UT????

Dauntless Manifesthoe

@CupcakKe_rapper

7 years

Ok but this wifi is garbage

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@______Bernardo

1 year

Once you move away from a place that looks like the bottom picture you realize you can never go back 😭

21st Century City

@urbanthoughts11

1 year

How many Americans live in something that resembles the picture 1) above or 2) below?

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@______Bernardo

4 years

Never telling anyone I graduated from the orange school cause it's really embarrassing headline after embarrassing headline

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@______Bernardo

3 years

@Elevated_Von Actually, the ideas are made by laborers too, laborers that are better compensated, but laborers nonetheless.

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@______Bernardo

6 years

This is me in every stem course ever like everyone always refuses to help

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@______Bernardo

5 years

Like... this is good news don't get me wrong, but I can't stop thinking about how all they had to do was snap their fingers and done, suddenly a bunch people can afford college. And it's not even a FRACTION of what they have available and they had just been... sitting on it...

Phil Jankowski 🌟

@PhilJankowski

5 years

BREAKING: An estimated one-fifth of all of @UTAustin 's undergraduates will get full scholarships starting fall 2020 after UT regents voted just now to create a $160 million endowment for tuition assistance. Full rides for any undergrad with family income at $65,000 or less.

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@______Bernardo

6 years

Literally any other cfa: Welcome to the very one and only, cause we never want you to be lonely, if you want a horse we will buy you a pony, you're at chick fil a, it is 83 degrees rn and we are on the presence of the lord. The cfa on campus: ...GO AHEAD. I SAID GO AHEAD, BITCH

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@______Bernardo

5 years

Literally a dream

🪄PICTUREPLANE🌙

@pictureplane

5 years

When people freak out over the Cybertruck like it’s some sort of next level innovation... we could be doing so much more as a country. People need to dream bigger.

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@______Bernardo

4 years

Yall are lying your asses off about the mask not letting you breathe I literally forget mine is on

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@______Bernardo

5 years

Y'all AREN'T graduating a year early??? LMFAAOOOOOO 📸: @_That_African

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@______Bernardo

7 years

Me filling out FAFSA to get my $5 grant and $1,000,000 loan

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@______Bernardo

5 years

I really REALLY hate the talking stage like you just ignored me for a solid 5 days and if I complain about it Imma sound crazy

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@______Bernardo

4 years

Yall would fuck a squirrel if it had pectorals

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@______Bernardo

6 years

Y'all be like "omg I can't believe ut23 is here it feels like I got here yesterday😭" no sis that was 4 years ago you old and getting ready for the grave

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@______Bernardo

7 years

Your mcm couldn't tell you that he just didn't like you anymore so he told you he left you cause he "wasn't ready for a relationship". You just saw him on a dating app.

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@______Bernardo

2 years

Obsessed with the outcome being “you should build each other up instead of tearing each other down 😋❤️” when the topic in question is food safety

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@______Bernardo

5 years

The fact this is not a stan joke, the architects literally said she was their inspo like she's LITERALLY the blueprint

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@______Bernardo

7 years

Do y'all ever get anxious that you're not using everything your tuition is paying for? Like there's a big ass pool at this university and a whole bowling alley and I have not gone ONCE

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@______Bernardo

5 years

Mfs in tinder be like "NYC 5/20 San Francisco 6/7 Chicago 7/13" like okay what do you want us to do buy tickets???

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@______Bernardo

8 months

People in the quotes talking about this being colonization mind you this is Spain we’re talking about SPAIN …

lex in tx

@alexissTyler

8 months

… at this point idk what’s stopping me from living abroad at least for a few years 🇪🇸

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@______Bernardo

6 years

Yall are attending round UP but won't attend church to worship The One UP above! *booing from audience*

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@______Bernardo

5 years

Doja Cat is coming to Austin but she's gonna be at emo's and last time I went to a concert there I almost died😐 can you imagine dying from asphyxiation and dehydration in a mosh pit cause the venue is too small and packed while Say So plays in the background

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