Florida Man @_FloridaMan Twitter profile

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Florida Man

5 years

I spoke to the @washingtonpost about how this account started and why I’m not doing it any more.

He’s an American folk hero and one of the Internet’s most durable memes. But maybe laughing at Florida — and its outrageous headlines — is more complicated than we've thought.

www.washingtonpost.com

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

Florida Man Accidentally Says Something People Like

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Dear America, 🌴🌴🌴 🌴 🌴🌴🌴 🌴 🌴🌴🌴 🌊🌊🌊 🌊 🌊 🌊 🌊 🌊 🌊 🌊🌊🌊 🐊🐊🐊 🐊 🐊 🐊🐊🐊 🐊🐊 🐊 🐊 🍺🍺🍺 🍺 🍺 🍺🍺🍺 🍺🍺 🍺 🍺 ☀️ ☀️ ☀️☀️ ☀️ ☀️ ☀️ …again. Love, Florida

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Justin Bieber looks like he’s living in Florida under an assumed name after he got caught committing insurance fraud and had to fake his own death.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Florida Man Steals $33,000 Worth of Rare Coins, Cashes Them in CoinStar Machine for $29.30

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

I photoshopped Justin Bieber into a Jimmy Buffett tailgate party for no other reason than it just felt like the right thing to do.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

he comin’

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Florida Man Travels to South Carolina to “Fight” Hurricane Florence

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Florida Man Dresses 13-Foot Alligator in Novelty Top Hat and Sunglasses for Halloween

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

Congratulations to Philadelphia, the Florida of the north east

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

BREAKING NEWS: Florida Man Re-Hired For Job He Hates

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Florida Man Begins Patiently Waiting for Gawker’s Money to Arrive

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Or, the police could stop killing black people.

NBC 6 South Florida

@nbc6

6 years

The Broward County and Palm Beach County police unions called for members to return Miami Dolphins tickets after the national anthem protest at Thursday's preseason game.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

The Shape of Water (2017)

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Florida Man Breaks Into Restaurant, Strips Naked, Eats Noodles He Brought From Home and Plays Bongos

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Florida Man Apparently Painting Anti-Hillary Messages on Tampa Bay Crabs (via @TheBrandonMorse )

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Florida Man Has Already Forgotten He Helped Putin’s Best Friend Become Secretary of State

Marco Rubio

@marcorubio

8 years

When has a Democratic political activists been poisoned by the GOP, or vice versa? We are not the same as #Putin . MR

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Tag yourself.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Florida Man Actually Does His Job

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Who could have seen this coming?

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

We finally did it.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

I think Kellyanne Conway is trying to tell us something.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

9 years

Kind of amazing to see two guys from Florida fighting and neither of them are wearing jean shorts

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Florida, please don't fuck this up

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

#lifehack

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Will someone please get a fainting couch for this giant fucking pussy.

Marco Rubio

@marcorubio

6 years

Sign of our times... the F word is now routinely used in news stories, tweets etc It’s not even F*** anymore. Who made that decision???

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

Florida, I fucking love you. Stay safe out there, everyone. ❤️

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

If you ever have to investigate something like this, just start in Florida and work your way out from there.

CNN

@CNN

6 years

Investigators believe some of the packages that were sent out may have originated in Florida, according to one law enforcement official

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

“Hello, police? I’d like to report a mentally disturbed man acting erratic at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.”

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

7 years

So many signs that the Florida shooter was mentally disturbed, even expelled from school for bad and erratic behavior. Neighbors and classmates knew he was a big problem. Must always report such instances to authorities, again and again!

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

9 years

Florida Man Suspected of Using Private Plane to Draw Giant Radar Penis http://t.co/gajvUC7WpQ http://t.co/Ks45edra2M

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

No joke here. @KathyFndzRundle clearly wants this case to vanish over the weekend, and I just don’t think it should

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

In 2010, Dolphins player Phillip Merling was arrested for battering his pregnant fiancé. He was never suspended.

Whisked Out of Jail, and Back to the N.F.L. (Published 2014)

A domestic abuse case involving Phillip Merling, a former Miami Dolphin, provides an example of lenient treatment of players by law enforcement agencies whose employees work off-duty jobs for...

www.nytimes.com

SportsCenter

@SportsCenter

6 years

Breaking: Miami Dolphins players who protest on the field during the national anthem could be suspended for up to four games under a team policy issued this week. (via @AP )

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Florida Man Grabs Waitress’ Butt and…I Don’t Know What to Say, Just Watch

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

Sweet. I love Pearl Jam.

Dorsey Shaw

@dorseyshaw

7 years

lmao Florida

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Four days into 2019 and Florida is already doing the most.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

HER: Come over. ME: I can’t, I’m at the lake. HER: We’re listening to Jimmy Buffett. ME:

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

9 years

Florida Man Can’t Believe He's the Least Crazy Person on Stage http://t.co/Hj8UD9ndtM

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Even for Florida, this a little on the nose

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Hell yeah, now we’re talking.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

NARRATOR: They couldn’t.

Rob Crilly

@robcrilly

7 years

Greg and Sue reckon they can ride out Irma on their 40ft boat at Dania Beach Marina. #IrmaHurricane2017

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

11:58AM: *votes down no-brainer gun law* 12:02PM: When will the senseless killing end!?!?

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

There it is.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Pure. Anarchy.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Giant Dick-Shaped Cloud Floats Majestically Over Miami

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

I only got two of these right

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

🤔🤔🤔 (via )

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

Of course.

Miami Herald

@MiamiHerald

7 years

Breaking: O.J. Simpson says he would return to Florida if granted parole

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Florida Man Really Shits the Bed This Time

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

I bet this guy is really good at solving crimes.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Just your standard murder-for-hire story involving a Florida big cat sanctuary, two separate hit men, and an openly gay zookeeper-turned-Libertarian-gubernatorial-candidate called “Joe Exotic”

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

Remember how you tweeted “appreciate the congrats” after the last Florida mass shooting, and it was the shittiest response anyone could ever imagine? Well, congrats, you just outdid yourself.

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

7 years

Very sad that the FBI missed all of the many signals sent out by the Florida school shooter. This is not acceptable. They are spending too much time trying to prove Russian collusion with the Trump campaign - there is no collusion. Get back to the basics and make us all proud!

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Florida Man Now Running the Country, I Guess

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Roses are red, if you haven’t yet seen this

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

ELON MUSK: *shoots luxury car into space* FLORIDA:

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

Florida Man Arrested For Eating Pancakes in Middle of Crosswalk

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Glad to finally tell my side of things.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Golf Cart-Driving Florida Man Tries to Blow Up Neighbor’s Chickens With Home-Made Whiskey Bomb During Dispute Over BB Gun

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

10 years

Florida Man Assaults White Person, Arrested Instantly This Time http://t.co/eI0NYWt0Ys

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

This literally happens all the time

Marco Rubio

@marcorubio

7 years

Just spoke to Broward School Superintendent. Today is that terrible day you pray never comes.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Yeah, but 7am…

The Hill

@thehill

6 years

Florida student arrested for threatening to kill professor over 7 am exam

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Marco Rubio is a pathetic weasel, and it should be everyone’s goal to publicly humiliate him as often as possible.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Finally, some good news

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Also, the car he was trying to steal had a cop in it.

Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Florida Man Tries to Steal Car From Jail Parking Lot Moments After Being Released for Car Theft

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Florida Man Tried to Pay for McDonald’s With Weed

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Police Unable to Tow Florida Man’s Illegally Parked Flintstones Car

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

A Florida mayor stopped a city council meeting to accuse a female commissioner of getting her anus bleached.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

[multiple people dead in Jacksonville shooting] It is with a heavy heart I must announce my predecessor was terrible and I am great.

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

6 years

“Mainstream Media tries to rewrite history to credit Obama for Trump accomplishments. Since President Trump took office, the economy is booming. The stronger the economy gets, the more desperate his critics are. O had weakest recovery since Great Depression.” @WashTimes

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

Shoutout the opportunistic car jacker who may or may not realize they’re currently rolling around Jacksonville with a dead body.

Jax Sheriff's Office

@JSOPIO

7 years

BOLO: 2006 silver Honda Odyssey Van with Florida tag NIS5N. Stolen when it was left running with the keys in the ignition from 8500 block of Arlington Expy. The vehicle was transporting a dead body for work purposes when taken. Please RT #JAX #JSO #Jacksonville

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

9 years

Florida Man Shows up to Court in “Formal Bandana”

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

10 years

Florida Man Calls 911 After Playstation Stops Working | http://t.co/5VMyUVzBWf

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Choose your fighter.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Well this is kind of ironic

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

In other news, un-cool McDonald’s employee is a lil' bitch.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Happy New Year from the East Coast time zone, the only one that really matters.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Chill. I’ll tweet about your mom again soon.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Florida Man Says Syringes in His Anus Aren’t His

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

i...worked on this story for a year.... and he... he just tweeted it out

Hulk Hogan

@HulkHogan

10 years

Me and all my friends at the 10pm Ninga Turtle movie brother HH http://t.co/RS46oCuuSe

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Florida Man Takes to Hiding From Constituents in the One Place They’ll Never Look For Him: His Work

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Police only found out about the naked bongo man because they were reviewing footage of ANOTHER, separate burglary where someone broke in an consumed a bunch of beer and chicken wings, and it just happened to be on the same tape.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

7 years

The only contender, as far as I'm concerned

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Florida Man Posts Video Documenting 6 Months' Worth of Farts at Work, Is Fired Immediately

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

This is MY son. He graduated #1 in boot camp. He was #1 in A school. He is a gentleman who respects women. He won't go on solo dates due to the current climate of false sexual accusations by radical feminists with an axe to grind. I VOTE. #HimToo

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

8 years

Why on earth would somebod-- Oh. I see.

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Queen.

The Cut

@TheCut

6 years

A drunk Florida woman was asked to leave a Red Lobster, so she responded by allegedly grabbing a live lobster straight out of the tank and bolting

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

9 years

When your joke kills but you're still dead inside

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

“What did you do when the President was implicated in a federal crime, grandpa?” MARCO RUBIO: I tweeted vague, confusing riddles.

Marco Rubio

@marcorubio

6 years

You did not strengthen the weak nor heal the sick nor bind up the injured. You did not bring back the stray or seek the lost but ruled them harshly and brutally. So they were scattered for lack of a shepherd... Ezekiel 34:4-5

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Florida Man

@_FloridaMan

6 years

Rubio has worked for years to suppress Florida’s African American vote, and when asked what he thought about 6-hour voter lines in Miami, his response was “that's only on Election Day.” Just to give you full context on his new passion for protecting the sanctity of elections.

Marco Rubio

@marcorubio

6 years

#Broward election supervisors ongoing violation of #Florida law requiring timely reporting isn’t just annoying incompetence. It has opened the door for lawyers to come here & try to steal a seat in the U.S. Senate & Florida Cabinet #Sayfie 6/6

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