Keanu Heydari @WoeToChorazin Twitter profile

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

Making this my new email signature.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

11 months

From a Middle Eastern market in Michigan.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 months

What should you read to understand the historiography of the French Revolution?

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

3 years

Me when I start translating Persian texts.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

6 months

Jesus, I see what you’ve done for other people, and I want that for me.

David McPherson

@davidlmcpherson

6 months

An academic’s dream come true: I saved up and had floor-to-ceiling bookshelves built in my home office! And there is plenty of room for more books!

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

7 months

I’m a hotel maximalist. Rather than getting rid of Bibles from hotels, we should actually include a wide range of holy texts in every room: The Book of Mormon, the Quran, the Avesta, the Bhagavad Gita, etc.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

7 months

I learned French by copying out the conjugations for every verb in the 501 verbs book. Do not recommend this method.

ethan !!!

@slimeguyethan

7 months

share a piece of lore about yourself

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

6 months

I thought children are evil and wicked and filled with a sin nature? I’m confused.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

17 days

All religions are an absurd waste of time. That’s why they’re so valuable. If they were a good use of time, they’d be no different from going to work or reading a book. Religion is one of the few remaining forms of protest against the temporal imperialism of late capitalism.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

3 months

so true bestie 💅

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

14 days

I love @masonmennenga so much. Just quoting bible verses at right-wingers makes them so angry. It’s a sight to behold.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

8 days

If I attended a church where I learned that the pastor was using AI to write their sermons, I’d simply attend another church. If I had any power I’d ask them to publicly apologize before the congregation. This is an outrageous act and must not be done. AI does not come from the

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

Have you ever read a primary source from the archives that made you cry?

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

8 months

Ordained and installed a deacon today!

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

18 days

them: so do you like symbolism? me: sort of

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

What’s fascinating to me about Side B discourse is its ephemerality. It will disappear soon. The evangelical movement has flatly rejected the mediating position of gay identity combined with lifelong celibacy. Evangelicals hate gay *people*, not particular sex acts.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

1 year

Wonder why he doesn’t have a $130 million film being made in his honor?

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

3 months

So, 10 months ago @chuckweatherby sent me a message on Tinder and opened with “Oh hi.” Now I’m stuck with him. 💜

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 months

What the actual fuck?

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

The more I read the New Testament the more convinced I am that one of our biggest errors has been listening to liberal Protestants who insist on red letter Christianity, instead of realizing that without Paul’s theological exegesis, we’re screwed. It’s a game changer.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

6 months

I’m in tears right now. I got the funding opportunity for Winter semester next year! What a load off of my shoulders. Thank you to everyone who prayed for me. I know your words made a difference!

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

Feeling pretty bummed now. Finishing up grading and a good amount of students clearly used ChatGPT. I've been using GPTZero to detect instances of plagiarism, and it's pretty reliable. Concluding paragraphs ending with "overall" and meaningless sentences are a good clue.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

I’m going to start a new thread that might turn into blog posts. I’m going to show you why lyrics to popular evangelical worship songs are misleading, harmful, or otherwise based in bad theology. It’s not just “Jesus is my boyfriend” songs. This stuff goes deep. Interested?

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

Say hello to your newest Episcopalian.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

1 month

Jesus is in Gaza. He’s in every prison cell. He’s with the people forced to migrate drowning in the Mediterranean Sea. In every Lord’s Supper, Jesus is here now, too. People worry too much about eschatology. God is in the world today, and his bleeding body and broken spirit mend

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 months

Not sure why but the suggestion that God is an embodied white man who lives on a planet called Kolob isn’t very compelling to me.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

18 days

In class today, my students (born in or around 2006) couldn’t tell me what “mainline Protestants” are. I don’t think this is an encouraging sign.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

9 months

evergreen tweet

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

6 months

Hey everyone, can you say a prayer for me? I just found out that one of the fellowships for which I applied for Winter semester next year was rejected. I have to find funding now and I really don’t know what to do. The other solution would be finishing the diss by winter’s end…

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

3 years

What's most surprising to me about the whole "CRT taught my child that she's evil because she's white" discourse is that Augustinianism has completely disappeared from the least common denominator of the white American moral topography.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 months

Theologians discuss.

The Spectator Index

@spectatorindex

3 months

President Biden says only the 'Lord Almighty' could convince him to quit presidential race.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 months

There’s a specific kind of mainline Protestant who refuses to invoke Jesus’ name, who speaks abstractly about God, social justice, and morality. The concreteness of God’s self-expression in Jesus simply doesn’t come across in their homiletics.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

7 months

The “poem” about laundry and genocide is a most excellent example of something I call the diarist phenomena: narcissistic bloviating about how the suffering of the Other personally affects your wellbeing. It’s also not good, stylistically.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

3 months

I’m not going to apologize for using therapy-speak below because I think deeply traumatic and traumatizing national events have real, material consequences for health and well-being. Politics and affect are intimate companions. I’m going to be very transparent and open myself up

Robert Evans (The Only Robert Evans)

@IwriteOK

3 months

the entire floor has taken the official convention photo, posed with their fists in the air

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

I had the immense privilege of meeting @kkdumez yesterday after her brilliant talk summarizing “Jesus and John Wayne.” I was fortunate enough to get an autograph and a selfie!

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

6 months

Oh great… looks like the depression is coming back :/ I’d appreciate your prayers and good thoughts, folks.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

3 years

I think I should affirm this for anyone who is unclear about my position: I do not believe that same-sex sexual activity is condemned by God or the testimony of the witnesses. It is wrong to deny the beauty of embodied queer love. Moreover, celibacy is not a heroic vocation.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

Anyone else think this is a travesty?

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

Jesus dies after mysteriously landing behind nails. More on this at 11.

Abdallah Fayyad

@abdallah_fayyad

2 years

Just insane writing.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

3 years

The only thing the Nicene Creed is actually *about* is liberation. The incarnation of the Son of God is deliverance to the captives! Kerygma means good news to the poor, binding up the brokenhearted, release for captives, and liberation for prisoners. I don't see the difficulty.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

4 months

I think my most controversial opinion is that sex is fundamentally a non-theological topic. Writing a theology of sex (even a non-patriarchal, LGBT-affirming one) would seem to me to be as useful as writing a theology of brushing one’s teeth. I suppose it would be interesting

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

Karl Barth’s “adultery” is not comparable to Jonathan Edwards owning slaves and participating in the genocidal project of missionary white supremacy. Barth, for all his flaws, fought against the genocidal project of Nazism. TGC continues its debasement into irrelevance.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

1 year

I am screaming

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

3 years

A murderous empire is not somehow better because there are LGBT or POC running it. Representation is a chimera for meaningful changes in material conditions.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

3 years

Inclusion means inclusion of asexual and aromantic people. A gospel proclaiming sex as the apex of human existence, fraternity, or togetherness misses the mark by quite a long shot.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 months

Some more titles for you all.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

8 days

It is better to deliver an adequate and imperfect sermon or homily that you yourself prayerfully wrote than it is to use computer-generated slop that may superficially sound “better.”

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

1 year

Remember when Obama cried on national television after a mass shooting? How many tears can you shed when death by gun happens so often that the only emotion you can feel is numbness? The GOP is a terrorist organization and I’m tired of pretending it isn’t. This is true madness.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

5 months

Out of your charity, please send prayers for an urgent family-related intention.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

I’m personally much more interested in what *motivates* non-Jewish people who identify as Christian to “celebrate” Jewish holidays. It’s as if 2,000+ years of looting, hatred, lying, and antisemitism weren’t enough. You must have everything. Everything belongs to you.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

6 months

@morallawwithin Foucault, everything is a prison and you’re the prison guard.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 months

Has someone written an essay on why and how “atheism” stopped being cool? I’m asking this question earnestly.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

I caught a glimpse of the atheism subreddit discussion about Uvalde. Apart from the maladroitness of telling grieving people that their dead children are not in heaven, it is also important to stress that the hope of Christianity is not some disembodied utopia but resurrection.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

@MarcusRediker It was Prof. Natalie Zemon Davis who first sparked my love for history after reading “Society and Culture in Early Modern France.”

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

6 months

I call it Farsi (not Persian) out of spite to Greek people, personally.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 months

Just ask them what they mean when they talk about “western civilization” or “the West.” They mean white. Don’t let people get away with not provincializing Europe.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

3 years

The First Things review of @kkdumez ’s book is so comically stupid – I… I just don’t have the words. These people are parodies of themselves.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 months

For inquiring minds & new followers: - I’m finishing up my Ph.D. in History at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. - By training, I’m a historian of modern France (1789-today) and Europe more broadly. - I also study the modern Middle East, with particular emphasis on Iran and

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

1 year

Me and @AmishCatholic hanging out in Paris! #twitterstorians

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

11 months

Let me state this in no uncertain terms: the Biden administration, like the Bush and Obama administrations before it, is complicit in and a co-author of a genocide occurring in Gaza right now at the hands of a settler-colonial apartheid state.

Faisal

@FaisalAHAli

11 months

Here is a clip in case you'd like to watch him make this stunning admission. There are no more pretences:

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

1 year

Speaking anecdotally is always dangerous, but I wanted to share something with you: I did CBT for about 10 years with 4 different therapists. I’ve seen psychiatrists for over 15 years. I did Lacanian analysis for just 2 years. Nothing compares to the latter in value.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 months

Reading slowly is irreplaceably important. For texts that matter, you need to read them again and again. Over and over. Sentence by sentence. Word by word.

wrath of God

@ezkl7_3

3 months

Everything about this is sickening; the quantification of reading as some sort of accumulative task is what’s killing reading itself; people who genuinely love the act of reading understand that some books demand slowness and time and that’s a beautiful thing

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

5 months

Happy Mother’s Day! Thanks for everything, mom.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 months

I would’ve been the best mainline Protestant minister in the 1960s. Really my era to shine would’ve been then. I think I could’ve done a lot of good preaching to educated, young, urban secular people who found religion dubious. The truth is that we don’t live in that context

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

14 days

I encourage everyone interested in modern French history, new approaches to military history, and security studies to check out @dr_tgpeterson ’s fantastic new book, “Revolutionary Warfare.” This book is going to be useful for helping me to contextualize chapter four of my

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

7 months

Some encouragement: learning languages is hard, but really worth it. For example, my German (which to be fair I don’t use *that* much for my research) is very bad. Doesn’t mean I ever quit trying. The worst thing one can do is forfeit the desire to learn new things.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 months

Haircut!

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

5 months

Just as powerful today as it was then. "There is no longer Jew or Greek; there is no longer slave or free; there is no longer male and female, for all of you are one in Christ Jesus." – Gal. 3:28

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

1 year

Y’all… they went and did it… @geo3550

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

4 months

What I envision next is Trump supporters becoming Duke University Press-adjacent carceral state abolitionists and Foucault experts overnight.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

3 years

This is to say that white conservative American evangelicals sincerely do not believe themselves to be sinners in need of grace. The Other (the racialized, sexualized, gendered Other), however, is replete with sin ontologically and is irredeemable.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

3 years

🤷‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

10 days

My dissertation will be done by next summer, God willing. I plan to pursue a monograph afterward, so availability may be delayed. In any case, chapter five, “Iranian Diasporic Nostalgia and the Political Culture of Failure,” will be of interest to many of you.

k-von

@never_oppressed

10 days

I cannot keep saying this enough but Iranian diaspora has become the most destabilizing, destructive diasporic force amongst the diasporas. So much so that these weirdos are now rallying behind the likes of Miriam Adelson in the name of freedom for Iran.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

18 days

If historical-critical readings of the Bible destroy your faith, I think that’s probably for the best. Moreover, what you had destroyed was likely your naïveté rather than your relationship with God. If the literal reading of the text, e.g., a man being inside a fish, is what

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

AI Generated Artwork based on prompt “Holy Spirit”

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

8 months

I'm delighted to announce that I was awarded the William Shorrock Travel Award to attend the French Colonial Historical Society’s 2024 meeting in Charlottesville to present a paper!

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

3 years

For clarification, I'm not making a statement on the theological validity of original sin. I just find it interesting that we're at a historical juncture at which saying something like "you inherit sin because you're federally represented by Adam" is now a leftist talking point.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

1 year

Just got some surprising good news. A while back, I submitted a translation of a few pages from Hamid Shokat's "Tarikh-e bist saleh" to a contest in the classics department @UMich . I just got notified today that it won an award!

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

A Catholic priest who’s rating women as a tool for apologetics was not on my timeline bingo card but okay…

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

4 months

Got a library cart!

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

6 days

There shouldn’t be suicide pods. I don’t care what your opinion is on assisted dying. It is undignified and inhumane to kill people in Brave New World pods. Why is this a thing?

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

3 months

mea culpa

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

1 year

If Francis manages to pull off getting the ball rolling on blessings for same-sex unions and women’s ordination during his pontificate, he’ll be remembered as the most important pope in Christian history.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

On my way to the pharmacy today, a white man pulled up to me and called me the N-word. When he realized I wasn’t Black, he called me a slur used to denigrate Latinos. Even though neither appellation was “correct,” it reminded me of the intersectional character of oppression.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

6 months

Bonhoeffer and Barth single-handedly rescued my faith. Bonhoeffer spoke to my heart, and Barth to my intellect. Sometimes the wires crossed.

Ninefold Kyrie

@Gda1238

6 months

Today marks the death in 1945 of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, German pastor and theologian. His courage in the face of evil was unshakeable and his constant prayer for peace unmovable. "We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God."

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

11 months

The session at First Presbyterian Church, Ann Arbor, accepted my Statement of Faith. My ordination to the diaconate will take place in January, Lord willing. Thank you everyone for your prayers and support.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

1 year

Got the new translation.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

5 months

Unbelievably beautiful day in D.C. today.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

Me too.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

4 months

Irredeemably stupid, terminally dumb, morally repugnant, etc.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

5 days

Got professional portraits taken today. This is not one of them!

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

6 months

This is going to get me in trouble, but I’m telling you—from my perspective as a deacon—younger white men in the church (mainline and evangelical) are going to facilitate a conservative backlash the likes of which we’ve never seen. Let me explain…

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

3 years

So I guess I’m “Side A” now publicly, though I have been personally for quite some time. Anyone else on Side A Twitter that I should follow?

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

10 months

I turned 28 on Monday. All I’ve been thinking about since is how old I feel. The silver lining is that I have a few more years left to appreciate just how brilliant Turner’s art is.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

I'm holding a copy of my Master of Arts diploma in History from @UMich / @umichgradschool . Even though I'll be starting my fifth year in the Ph.D. program in the fall, I think it's important to take a moment to thank you all for your consistent support, friendship, and generosity.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

5 months

Unqualified solidarity with students at Columbia. This shouldn’t be so complicated.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

11 months

My next era is becoming a YouTube Christian apologist but a Barthian one who only argues against apologetics.

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Keanu Heydari

@WoeToChorazin

2 years

To my queer siblings, my BIPOC friends, my working-class companions: it’s *okay* to make substantial demands of privileged people. It’s okay to ask people to change their beliefs, to stop attending non-affirming churches, to vote differently, if they want to be your friend.

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