The Wily Survivor Profile
The Wily Survivor

@WilySurvivor

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M.S. in Psychology, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach. One-on-one sessions. Trauma informed. Narcissistic abuse and family court survivor.

Florida
Joined July 2022
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 months
Narcissists aren't badasses, they're cowards. Beneath their adult exterior lies the emotional maturity of a two-year-old. Feeling inferior, they seek to destroy those who possess qualities they'll never have. They radiate insecurity, fear, hatred, rage and jealousy.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
4 months
I often hear victim/survivors say they feel stupid for investing so much time in a narcissist. I always respond: you were purposely deceived into believing they were good. You couldn't have known; everything they presented was a facade. Have you ever watched a
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
Let's be clear. Narcissistic abuse is domestic violence.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
Narcissistic abusers thrive when you have low self-esteem & covertly go through great lengths to keep you there. Most times we can't see it as it's happening. Eyes open 👀 Low self-esteem can feel like: -Feeling "trapped" in the relationship -Anxiety/depression (1/2)
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
Physical abuse, emotional abuse, coercive control, sexual abuse, psychological abuse, financial abuse, technological abuse - it's all domestic abuse!
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
10 months
A narcissist can easily sneak condescension into a conversation, and the person being targeted might overlook it. Pay attention to what the narcissist says-you might be surprised at how often they subtly put you down in your interactions.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
6 months
There are several things the narcissist cannot handle. Being alone is one of them. Unlike healthy individuals who use alone time for personal growth/reflection etc. narcissists are empty inside, frantically avoiding their thoughts while desperately seeking external validation.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
10 months
Be careful of the narcissist who deliberately elicits an emotional reaction from you, and then secretly records it to "prove" how crazy you are. I saw this play out successfully a few times in family court while waiting for my own hearings. Stay composed and give them nothing.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
4 months
Believe victim/survivors when they finally speak out about narcissistic abuse. It's likely taken them countless hours of research, immeasurable pain, and a Herculean effort to dig themselves out of a bottomless pit of despair. Oh, and btw...
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
11 months
Narcissists often create situations where their actions are ambiguous or deniable. By doing this they can avoid responsibility, gaslight their targets, manipulate the narrative, & easily dodge accountability for their behaviors. This is called plausible deniability. Eyes open. 👀
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
Narcissistic abusers have no limits to their abuse. It never, ever bottoms out. Sometimes there is a pause because they need to change tactics to get something they want, but make no mistake, the abuse "ante" always keeps rising. Always.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
Narc abusers will often say, "That was in the past." or "That was before." Eyes open 👀 This tactic is used as a way to manipulate you into forgetting their atrocious behavior. If you keep pressing the issue, pay attention to how quickly the blame gets shifted onto you.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
How will abusers ever stop abusing when they are hardly ever held accountable for their behaviors?
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
Narcissists fabricate conflicts to drive a wedge between you and your support network. Eyes open 👀 The tactic works so well, you won't even realize it's happening.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
The narcissist will make you believe you are their soulmate, yet there is no making love, no genuine wedding vows, no joy at the birth of a child, no heart-to-heart conversations, no friendship, no joy at seeing your children thrive, and no growing old together.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
5 months
If you've ever dated a narcissist, did you ever feel that something was "off" right from the beginning? If so, what was it? For me, it was a couple of things. He was too much, too soon, and the fraternity he was pledging at the time rejected him in an ugly way.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
Be careful not to rationalize a narcissist's abuse because the abuser had a difficult or traumatic past. Lots of people have difficult and traumatic pasts and choose not to abuse others!
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
10 months
Within a narcissistic family, the scapegoat is perennially blamed, emotionally manipulated, and isolated. Their struggle often leads to internalizing the abuser's twisted negative messages, resulting in low self-esteem, trust issues, and even self-sabotage.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 months
Keeping you silent is the narcissist’s greatest weapon. They train you to stay quiet through fear and manipulation. Don't let them win. Speak your truth...even if you only speak it to yourself until you get out.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
I wish narcissistic abuse left a scar that was visible. Unfortunately, it does leave a devastating,invisible,mark…usually only observable by fellow survivors.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
10 months
Narcissists excel at overstepping boundaries, especially with children. They invade privacy, deny emotional space, gaslight, reverse parent-child roles (parentification), isolate kids socially, and disrespect personal and physical boundaries. Be vigilant!
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
When divorcing a narcissist, be prepared to end up in court. Despite the advice to settle out of court, mediation will not be successful, mutually agreed upon child custody will not happen, and the lies about the finances will reach an all-time high.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
5 months
It's bad enough that narcissistic abuse creates profound trauma for survivors, but it really pisses me off that inflicting trauma is not enough for them. They have to double down by turning the tables, running a smear campaign, and making themselves the victims.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
11 months
The abuser often dominates subtly, yet they are agents of chaos. How often have you, or your children, been dressed and ready to go for an outing only to have the day's plans shattered by the abuser? Can you see the pattern? Can you see the insatiable need for control?
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
Never give the abuser a heads up that you're leaving. It's dangerous! If you are planning to leave the narc or coercive controller, be mindful to keep affect & behavior consistent in their presence. Eyes open 👀 Abusers are keenly skilled at observing their target's behavior.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
One thing is certain, no matter how nice the narcissist is currently being they will always revert back to being abusive. Every single time.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
6 months
Narcissists often give expensive gifts to manipulate and control. How? Targets will feel indebted to them, thereby shifting the balance of control. They will use their gift-giving to seek feed from those around them and further inflate their ego. They use these gifts to...
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
10 months
If you are contemplating leaving a narcissist, be wary of your self-assuring thoughts, such as "They would never do that," or "They're not capable of doing anything like that," or "They would never hurt the children." Eyes open 👀 They are capable of the unimaginable.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
11 months
Narcissists are pros at undermining your successes. They downplay your achievements, dismiss your goals, or even take credit for your accomplishments. You may not even realize it. Eyes open👀 This constant devaluation can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
9 months
Part of the narcissistic abuser's grooming process is to subtly and repeatedly test your boundaries. Eyes open 👀
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
4 months
Abusers abuse because they've been hurt is the biggest heap of trash I've ever heard. If that were true, wouldn't we all be perpetually decimating each other? The truth is, most people endure significant pain and trauma without becoming abusive themselves.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 month
If you're looking to support a victim/survivor of narcissistic abuse, please, PLEASE don’t ask them why they didn't leave sooner.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
The best revenge to a narcissist is ignoring him/her, moving on and rebuilding your best life without them.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 month
Don’t allow the narcissist to make you believe you are overly sensitive. You’re not. They’re overly manipulative.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
11 months
Narcissists have an uncanny ability to mirror the emotions, interests, and desires of their target. This mirroring creates an illusion of connection and shared goals, drawing the target in effortlessly. Eyes open. 👀 It's a trap!
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
4 months
As long as there is a narcissist in your orbit there will be no peace. Their manipulation, lies, and drama will perpetually disrupt your tranquility.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
10 months
Narcissistic mothers are skilled at creating a toxic dynamic by simultaneously competing with their children and trampling over their boundaries through enmeshment while playing the martyr to manipulate their children into feeling guilty. 💔
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
If you’ve walked away from an abuser, the number one thing the abuser wants is your downfall. They no longer get to dictate your life. Find the support you need, rediscover your greatness, and fly.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
If you've decided it's time to leave your abuser, please do not say a word to him/her. Make your plans, gather your belongings, and disappear without so much as a peep. Leaving your abuser is a dangerous time. Proceed carefully.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
9 months
The narcissistic abuser will treat you like you did something wrong but never tell you what the offense was. Eyes open. 👀 There's a reason for this manipulative tactic. It keeps you in a perpetual state of confusion, self-doubt, and trapped in a cycle of seeking their approval.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
7 months
Narcissistic mothers break, hide, & give away their children's belongings, including toys & pets. The motive, like any other narc, remains about asserting dominance and control over their children. If confronted, they promptly flip the script & shift blame onto the child.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
11 months
One of the go-to tools of the narcissist is stonewalling. What quicker way to shut down a target than refusing communication & ignoring your existence for days or even weeks? This tactic is used to gain power and control and leaves you feeling isolated and doubting yourself.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
Pay attention. Narcissists typically do not have genuine, long-term friends. They have co-workers, they have acquaintances, they have short-term "friends" and they will even "adopt" other's friends (e.g., friends of parents/siblings). Eyes open. 👀
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
How many of you are months, or years, into recovery from narcissistic abuse and still unraveling lies about your life with the abuser? I'll go first. This year will mark 9 years since I left and just last night I had an a-ha moment. 🤦‍♀️
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The Wily Survivor
1 year
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
9 months
Hurting and terrorizing others gives the narcissist a feeling of accomplishment. It reminds them that they are still in control and they absolutely thrive on that.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
If the police ever get called to your home, do everything in your power to “pull it together”. The abuser has the ability to switch from unhinged to respectable citizen instantaneously. He/she is counting on you to look unhinged when police arrive so you appear to be the problem.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
5 months
Stop thinking that the narcissist thinks and behaves like a normal person. They are anything but. They are the most cunning, selfish, manipulative, fiercest predators you will ever have the displeasure of knowing.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
6 months
The narcissist will gaslight you with the most inane arguments and manufacture the most bizarre "evidence" to support their outlandish claims to avoid accepting any responsibility. Eyes open 👀
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
9 months
The narcissistic abuser will simultaneously undermine your self-worth by making you believe negative things about yourself, all the while manipulating you and others into accepting an inflated, positive image of themselves.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
3 months
A healthy relationship never requires you to walk on eggshells. A loving partner will always ensure you feel safe and supported.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
For survivors, it's awful to hear, "Why didn't you leave sooner?" or "If it were me, I would have just walked away?" Anyone who says either of the above has no clue about narc abuse, cc, or trauma response. Next time someone asks something similar, ask them to share what (1/2)
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The Wily Survivor
1 year
Psychological abuse can, and often does, escalate to physical abuse. Eyes open 👀 Don't underestimate the potential danger. It happens more often than you think.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
4 months
nature show where a gazelle is invariably stalked and eaten by a lion? Do you ever think the gazelle is stupid for being preyed upon? Exactly.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
If you’ve recently ended a “relationship” with a narc abuser and are hoping to get answers, validation, support, or empathy from their family you are likely wasting your time & may be setting yourself up for further abuse. Remember, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
Has anyone else experienced incredible levels of social anxiety after the narcissist's smear campaign?
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
What a narcissist thinks when you stand up to them: “You are being abusive by denying my right to control you!”
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
10 months
When it comes to the narcissist's smear campaign, remember, silence is golden. 🤫
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
The abuser manipulates you into believing that you play a role in his/her abuse. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is never your fault the abuser abuses.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
Surviving narcissistic abuse is exhausting. Please take it easy on yourself.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
The narcissist will not change. How can they if everything is always someone else's fault. They have zero accountability and zero ability for self reflection.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
Pay attention to the people in your life that criticize you, then say: "You're so sensitive" "I was just kidding" "You know I didn't mean it" "I just want to help you" They may be grooming you to start valuing their opinion over your own. Narcissists are very, very sneaky.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
Sometimes I wonder how many lives each narcissist has negatively impacted. How many children, partners, employees, co-workers, friends, bosses, siblings, parents have been affected? I mean, think about it. The numbers must be staggering.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
-Your needs will never be met -Hopelessness -You are constantly doubting yourself -Isolating -You have difficulty making decisions -Overwhelming -Shameful -You never do anything right What else would you add? (2/2)
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
Someone else's control over your life is abuse.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
Covert narcissism reveals itself through subtle actions and veiled manipulation. They may engage in passive-aggressive behavior, self-deprecating comments, subtle insults, or be dismissive of you. They may appear as introverted, shy, helpful, kind, or pious. Eyes open 👀
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
11 months
Narcissistic rage stems from a threat to the narc's ego, sense of entitlement, & presumed superiority. Triggers include criticism, threat of exposure, perceived wounds to their ego, not making their needs & wants your priorities, & challenging their sense of superiority.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
11 months
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
So many survivors describe their abusive partner as setting unrealistic household budgets or allowances and even manipulating or threatening the victim into taking on debt (coerced debt), but don't recognize it as a part of financial abuse and coercive control. Eyes open. 👀
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
9 months
The abuser does not get to blame you for their emotionally volatile behavior. Their actions are always a result of their own choices.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
9 months
The narcissistic parent works strategically and covertly to prevent family members from bonding. This calculated move serves to maintain more control over each individual. Eyes open.👀 You are easier to manipulate if divided.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
Narcissists are masters of triangulation, turning "relationships" into drama and chaos in an effort to squash your self-esteem. Be mindful of the third angle they introduce - it's not a love triangle; it's a manipulation triangle!
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
8 months
The narc works hard to convince you that "you need help." Targets often seek therapy, recovery programs, or other methods of self-help. Eyes open. 👀 Are they also working on themselves, or just manipulating you into believing you're the sole problem? Trust your instincts.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
8 months
When dealing with narcissistic abusers, they will always use a grain of truth as plausible deniability, no matter how much evidence you have to counter their lies.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
10 months
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
11 months
Gaslighting: a scary-effective tactic abusers use to shatter your reality. It's critical to be able to identify it. Arm yourself with a truth log and use it as a reference to shield against their manipulations.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
Emotional abuse isn't usually that obvious; it's the subtle tactics that leave brutal scars.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
During the smear campaign, the narc may call your friends/family asking, "Is (insert name) okay? or "Have you noticed that (insert name) seems a little off? or "I'm concerned about so and so's behavior?" (1/2)
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
I cannot stress enough, the value of exercising especially when dealing with a narcissist, leaving a narcissist, being discarded by a narcissist, being parented by a narcissist, or having to go head-to-head with a narcissist in court. It was a lifesaver for me.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
9 months
The abuser's abuse will not magically disappear. They won't age out of it, substance abuse recovery will not fix it, couples counseling will not help. The abuser must accept responsibility, want to change, and take a committed and continuous active role in change.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
Don't think for a minute that you will be co-parenting with a narcissist. They will sacrifice their own child's physical & emotional health, education, and safety all because they seek to control & destroy you. This is called counter-parenting.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
Just because the narcissist does not overtly insult you, does not mean that the verbal abuse isn’t happening. You’re just not realizing it. Eyes open 👀 everyone.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
For anyone needing to hear this today.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
10 months
The narcissist employs the smear campaign to continue their efforts to control their targets. Do not engage. It’s what they want. It may be hard as hell, but continue to be who you are. You are not defined by your abuser’s words.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
6 months
Stop defending yourself against the manufactured lies of the narcissist. Eyes open 👀. It's a trap. They identify your vulnerabilities and lure you into emotional reactivity. This provides them with their supply and the satisfaction of knowing they can still control you.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
4 months
when you don't believe the victim/survivor and say things like "He/she is so nice/generous/kind/funny," it just proves the narcissist's manipulation got you too!
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
It's okay to grieve the end of your time with the narcissistic ex. It's not the abuse you are grieving. It is the loss of the person he/she pretended to be and the loss of the hopes and dreams they mirrored to you.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
5 months
The narcissist works tirelessly to make you doubt your reality. When your gut tells you what the narc says is dubious or just a flat-out lie, pay attention. Deep down inside your shit-o-meter is still working. Trust it. It's not wrong.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
You know all of those times the narcissist is sweet, romantic, kind, thoughtful and/or generous to you? Those are skillfully laid traps to keep you under control and under the illusion that you are a willing participant in a relationship.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
The narcissist is emotionally empty. They have zero capacity for empathy. They may be able to fake it temporarily, but don’t be fooled. It’s all an act to get what they want.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
7 months
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
9 months
Narcissists are bottomless pits of external validation. The insatiable need for others admiration masks a void within, where self-worth is nonexistent.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
Narcissistic abusers will isolate you from friends and family, and will be quite stealthy at making him/herself your primary source of support. Eyes open 👀 This can intensify as you become more dependent on the abuser for social interaction and validation.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
1 year
Narc abusers feign concern over you to your friends/family...behind your back. Ex: They sow doubts about your mental health by asking, "Is (name) okay?" "Have you noticed (name) acting differently?" It's a win/win for the narc. He/she appears concerned, while undermining you.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
2 years
You have the right to live without being scared. You have the right to live without feeling like you are walking on eggshells. You have the right to take control of your own life. You have the right to be happy.
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
6 months
When a romantic partner says, "Don't worry about money, give up your job," or "I'll take care of the bills," Kindly program your hackles to go up. Beware, you might even think it was your idea. The narcissist is that skilled. Stay vigilant, financial independence is paramount!
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@WilySurvivor
The Wily Survivor
7 months
The narcissist is not interested in parenting...until their facade is threatened.
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