Thunder Buddy Ted @WhatTedSaid Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

Here's something for the whole family… if the whole family is over 17 and very stoned.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

10 years

Hey, America! I'll be coming all over you this summer. Take a look... and maybe a tissue.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

10 years

Told you I saw Tom Brady's balls!!

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

7 months

Someone on Instagram just said I have a "gyatt." Have no idea if I should be offended or not.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

Yes, I'm a national treasure.

DiscussingFilm

@DiscussingFilm

8 months

‘TED’ has already become the most watched original series on Peacock ever. Read our review:

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

7 months

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

3 months

Does a TV series and 2 movies mean nothing to you?

Bark

@barkmeta

3 months

I’ve never met a rich & successful person who smokes weed. Not even once.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

Let him cook.

riley from hivemind

@RileyJohnSavage

8 months

finally checking out The Bear and yall weren’t lying this shit is gasssss

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

So that's why I got 112 texts last night saying congrats

Film Updates

@FilmUpdates

8 months

The trio of ‘THE BEAR’ have all won Emmys.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

2 years

Okay I’ll come back to Twitter for this for sure

Cocaine Bear

@cocainebear

2 years

I'm the bear who ate cocaine. This is my story.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 months

Check out my new trailer. Please retweet it or repost it or whatever the fuck it’s called now.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

7 months

Even the film snobs can’t resist me.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

7 months

Never fails to put a smile on my face.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

@RealTed2account Well fuck.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

10 years

Just call it "Birdman". Lose the fuckin' parentheses part.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

If the Sarge asked me if I secured the perimeter I would say yes. Too scared to say I don't know wtf that means #hero http://t.co/9COovSWN89

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

Someone should tell that Ice Age squirrel that there are other acorns.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

7 months

When I say I got that bear in me, this is what I mean

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

Stoner Barbie

@stonersvilla

8 months

Wake up. Smoke weed. Drink water. Listen to good music. Stay positive

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

Congratulations to Martin Scorsese. Always been a huge fan because we have the same eyebrows.

Film Updates

@FilmUpdates

8 months

Martin Scorsese is the most #Oscar nominated living director of all time.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

7 months

I don’t really stay in touch with Winnie the Pooh anymore. Ever since he went public domain he’s been acting strange. Hitting the “nose honey” a little too hard, if you catch my drift.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

no context sitcoms ☮︎ 🍉

@oocsitcoms

8 months

who got that one sitcom clip

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

Hey Ted, it’s your manager. The network wants you to post something like “Hey everyone, are you caught up on every episode of my show? What was your favorite moment?” Please don’t copy & paste that, and make sure not to include this part in the post like last time.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

The fact that I have not been asked to do a TED Talk is honestly getting insulting at this point.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

Go Caitlyn! You're an inspiration! http://t.co/mkKDxPrFIH

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

I'm coming June 26th. So is Tom Brady, though it may be against his will.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

Is there any station that gets watched less than PBS Las Vegas?

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

Boobs are the best Christmas present. And the best part is unwrapping them. And you thought I was gonna say nipples. http://t.co/vbOOwd84

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@WhatTedSaid

9 years

May the 4th be with you!! http://t.co/i6TlfqKoG4

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

Released all 7 episodes of my show at once because I like binge-watching almost as much as I like binge-drinking.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

7 months

Been watching “The Office” since I am part of Peacock now. I don’t know if this is a hot take or not, but these people seem terrible at their jobs!

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

Is there any way I can beat this hangover? Wait, I already beat the hangover by 10 million!

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

New drinking game idea: watch #Ted2 and count all the @FamilyGuyonFOX references.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

Fuck you, adobe flash player. Just fuck you.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

7 months

Call it whatever you want, just pass it over here.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

Her: I’m coming over you better not be a studious little teddy bear when I get there Me:

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

My insomnia finally got the best of me… at 5am I broke down and bought The Magic Bullet. I now own a $100 weed grinder. http://t.co/l50Xte4y

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

so party I honked a fat lady got high & toaster john arrested lori mad I fixed it with french toast & police left so http://t.co/A0tIa8kg

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

I fuckin' love this country! http://t.co/B27HDJst50

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

@24framesofnick I do my own stunts.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

You used to call me on my cell phone, late night when you need my bud. #Ted2 #Drake

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

7 months

Ever since I started playing a 16 year-old on tv they’ve been triple-checking my ID at the bar. I’m literally 38 years old, it’s called acting.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

Every time I eat Gummy Bears I feel like a giant, all-powerful cannibal god. http://t.co/5A7qYdLn

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

7 months

To answer your questions: Yes I have been in the washing machine before. Yes it is as fun as it looks. Please stop DMing me about it.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

With federal funding, someday I will finally realize my dream: to build the world’s biggest bong. http://t.co/lxutEA4T

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

I wanna start a band with with Leslie Mann and Christopher Walken, and call it "Ted Mann Walken".

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

Weed delivery Boston area cheap

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

I need to clear my search history. Every time I type the X key to come post something on here like 20 porn sites show up first.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

6 months

Releasing my voicemails? This is how top talent is treated? I don't see you doing this kind of thing to Natasha Lyonne.

Peacock

@peacock

6 months

Now that Ted's got a number 1 show he keeps blowing up my phone with his "big ideas" 🙄 #ted : The Event Series, #PokerFace , #TheTraitorsUS , and more are streaming now on Peacock.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

10 years

Brian Williams: "Well, now that I have some free time, I can watch my daughter in Girls-- Jesus holy fuck!!" http://t.co/CKGfDkrcBs

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

I already hate the kids in the bubble in Jurassic World.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

10 years

Road trip with Tom Brady going as expected. http://t.co/idVJVdahW8

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

The Build-a-Bear process creeps me out. You know what I’d like to see? Build-a-Whore Workshop. I would LIVE there. http://t.co/LIgQv5Pr

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

Stop normalizing the grind and normalize whatever this is

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

The rumors are true, I had my stuffing redistributed to play my younger self. It’s a simple procedure — a guy holds my feet and swings me around. Light sedation, I was home by lunch

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

@3CFilmss Take that Fozzie, you no-talent hack!

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

7 months

Happy Valentine’s Day! Caution: If you give your girlfriend a stuffed bear today, there is no guarantee it will transform into a best friend like me. It’s more likely that she will transform into your ex girlfriend.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

John & I looked up Kwanzaa on Wikipedia. It was too hard to spell so we asked Siri & wound up at a Chinese restaurant. http://t.co/Kd7oZimk

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

Boss: Can you hop on a call real quick? Me:

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

7 months

Searched “bears in my area” to try to find some new friends but I did not get the results I expected.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

6 months

Oh sure, when your movie is about a big bomb, you get an Oscar nomination. Your movie IS a big bomb, nothin’.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

Had a dream last night that I was Super Mario when he WASN'T trying to save the princess. I was basically just a plumber. Pretty boring.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

I'm so fuckin' drunk and stoned right now. Somebody squeeze me. Scratch that. Somebody with tits squeeze me.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

Me: What are ya doin' Friday? You: Seeing Jurassic World! Me: Fuck you! You: Seeing Inside Out! Me: Fuck you! You: Seeing Ted 2? Me: Yay!!

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

6 months

Cillian Murphy? More like Killing It Murphy! You know, ‘cause he’s good in movies and television programs.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

If you ever get too high and paranoid, remember this: Everyone can tell, they’re judging you, and the cops are on their way.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

Believe it or not, this was one of our more pleasant dinner conversations.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

7 months

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

Guys, dinosaurs don't exist! Go see a real life character. Me!!!

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

7 months

A shocking amount of you keep asking “does Ted poop?” Can nobody find joy in the great mysteries of the universe anymore? Is there not beauty in the unknown?

🐊Taddy_Dudstare🐊

@TaddyDudstare

8 months

@WhatTedSaid How the fuck you digest your food though

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

Wait'll you guys see the fat kid runnin'.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

If you ever get to work before anyone else, you can have a pretty cool time pretending the world just ended.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

7 months

I have it on good authority that Mustache Ted is a great hang.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

Next time Coldplay's on, turn to the person next to you and say, "My black friend told me about these guys."

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 years

I'm nominated for an MTV Movie Award! Vote for me and I’ll smoke a fat joint in your honor.

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@WhatTedSaid

8 months

Rolling Stone

@RollingStone

8 months

REVIEW: Seth MacFarlane’s ‘Ted’ TV Show Is Surprisingly Funny More:

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

Here’s me, John, and Lori wearing our new holiday sweaters. I think mine came off of a Holly Hobbie. I hate this. http://t.co/1t39K6SZ

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 months

I went viral in the VHS era, do you understand how impressive that is?

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

11 days til my movie! Let's all start getting stoned now in preparation.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

Donald Dump: when a duck takes a shit, and then that shit takes a shit, and then that shit's shit runs for president

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

When a short guy tells you he knows karate

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

My movie just made 100 million. Maybe now I can afford a restaurant where the next table isn't a family screaming in Portuguese.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

Now America truly is the land of opportunity. http://t.co/eajw0IK0

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

"Seems like a pretty fuckin' bad Friday to me." (Jesus)

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

I'm a hit... this bong!

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

Sorry I've been gone for a while. I got eaten by a dinosaur. Luckily, he shat me out.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

Thanks, EW! Nice to know I can jizz in my own ass. http://t.co/73duEQyca9

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

Today is #NationalTeddyBearDay . So in honor of me, I think I'll smoke some weed and cuddle with myself. #Ted2 http://t.co/lfd5eqeBV8

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

Snoop Dogg after pretending to quit smoking for 48 hours

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

Years of marijuana usage have made it difficult to remember what day it is, but I’m almost positive my new show comes out tomorrow on Peacock.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

8 months

@SarahTheKitty7 @CocoMallFN Of course you will I’m wicked cool

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

Sometimes I like to imagine living the life of a freewheeling, rail-riding hobo. My motto? “Have bong, will travel.” http://t.co/T05qZiCE

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

Whoever the fuck thought of messing with my carefully arranged sleep schedule should have Big Ben shoved up his ass. http://t.co/ryJMLJxb

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

There's my buddy @mark_wahlberg , although I think I copied his phone # wrong. Does 67453 sound like a full number? http://t.co/Sh9QaEP2

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

Owning a piano is like having a really charming gay guy in your living room all the time.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

These are not the joints you’re looking for. This Halloween, may the force be with you. #KyloKush #TheDankSide

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

10 years

You know who didn't die? Flash fucking Gordon. Fuck yeah, Flash.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

9 years

"Britney Spears calls fan a 'fucking asshole' after he called her a 'fat bitch'." Guys! Guys! Relax. You're BOTH right.

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Thunder Buddy Ted

@WhatTedSaid

12 years

Here I go, fucktards! Smoke a fattie and come hang out with me this weekend at your local theater. Or, go to one far away, I don't care.

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