Dawna @VaGyver Twitter profile

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

When I was a little kid, I thought "This little pig went to market." meant it went shopping. 😂

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@birizamberri11

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@ranch_ke

Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

I laughed so hard my vibrator shot across the room...

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

If you are turned away at the polls your response is, “Give me a provisional ballot with a receipt as required by law.” Pass it on.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

😭❤ 16 woke me up this morning with , "Happy Mother's Day. I made you spaghetti." He had realized what day it was and that he had me no gift. So he got up super early and made me homemade spaghetti all by himself. First time ever! He has Asperger's, This is huge for him. ❤😭

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

I thought Susan Collins held that record.

Fact

@Fact

5 years

The giant squid is the largest animal without a backbone

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

In my life, I've been molested, beaten, strangled, smothered, pushed down stairs, dragged by car, raped, shot at, drugged, hit by a tractor-trailer, had a knife to my throat, had fistfuls of hair ripped from my scalp etc... and lived. YOU DO NOT SCARE ME.

Republicans warn impeachment could spark ‘civil war’

Multiple Republicans have recently threatened the possibility of civil war in the United States when political outcomes have not gone their way, some even suggesting Donald Trump’s impeachment could...

www.msnbc.com

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

I am in no way anti-vaccine. However, there is no way this side of Hell, that I'm taking a vaccine connected to any government office, while Trump is still calling the shots.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

I don't want a world without men. Just a world without men that are a$$holes. #IfTheWorldHadNoMen

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

I attempted to track down the author of this crazy rant or at least where it originatedfrom. I haven't found it yet. But a search led me to an FB group of Christian mothers against masturbation. I found these gems there...

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

Every narcissistic abuser I have ever dealt with, when realizing they'd taken something too far, would either claim they were joking or insist they never said what they most definitely said. Trump is no different.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

3 years

"Thank goodness I had no side effects from the Ivermectin" #DeepThoughtsFromUnvaccinated

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

Having sex on a regular basis improves your memory... I wish you all a great 2016.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

Every time the Devil's doorbell rings, an angel loses its wings...

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

Please keep holding doors open for us, a gentleman is still a sexy motherfucker.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

3 years

Pretty sure that's just Tucker in a wig and lipstick.

Justin Baragona

@justinbaragona

3 years

Pleased to introduce Tucker's new Pennsylvania back roads gas station correspondent.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

#InThe80sWe walked five miles through shag carpet, just to change the TV channel.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

Accidentally deleted this. 😂😂😂

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

#InThe80sWe had no Caller ID. We had to answer the phone without a damned clue who could be on the other end. It was terrifying 😂

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

I'm determined to never let what others did to me turn me into an angry, hateful person. Many others have been through the same things I have or worse. I am not special. I do my best to put as much love and laughter into this world as I can. But I will fight for what's right.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

7 years

I don't want your man. No one wants him. That's why he's with you. #thingstosaytostartafight

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

Anyone craving Thigh food tonight?

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

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Dawna

@VaGyver

3 years

All pajama pants should have pockets. #ThatsMyUnpopularOpinion

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

Welp, I'm going to hell. If any of y'all want to carpool, hit me up.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

@delanightmares

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

It's going to starve.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

Misunderstood one sign and now I'm banned from Ben & Jerry's...

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

You're making a sandwich, in a spotless kitchen, while wearing flawless makeup, perfect hair, and matching bra and panties, at 3:00 a.m.. #SignsYouAreInAHorrorMovie

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

This is my first attempt at a complicated tie-dye. My daughter wanted a sunflower tie-dye shirt for her birthday. So I gave it a shot. I'm kind of proud of how it turned out.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

@politicalnative

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

The size of the crowd on the Devil's front lawn must be epic.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

#DuringMy14DayQuarantine I'm going to make me a Wilson for company.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

@djgirl40 Same here. He never answers. Probably because I call out "Jesus!" or "Oh, God!" so much, Satan just figures I'm at the wrong house...

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

#InThe80sWe would tell our parents we were at a sleepover with a friend whose parents they trusted, when really we were laying in a field somewhere, with a friend they couldn't stand, dying of alcohol poisoning.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

Facebook, of course. 😁😂

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Dawna

@VaGyver

3 years

#IfTrumpWereReinstated he'd be inviting the Taliban to the WH for hamberders.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

I waxed my hoohaa closed tonight. DIY waxing kit. Turns hard as it cools & doesn't need cloth strips. I bought it ages ago & got brave tonight. Mistake. I covered too much at once. I'm not religious but prayed to Sally Hansen to at least leave my clit if I ripped off my vulva.😭

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

Not sure if I just received a dick pic or a thumb wrestling invitation.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

3 years

If men could get pregnant, they'd carry PEZ dispensers filled with Plan B in their pockets.

West Wing Report (Edited by Paul Brandus)

@WestWingReport

3 years

"If men could get pregnant, abortions would be available at Jiffy Lube." -- Betty White

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

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Dawna

@VaGyver

3 years

Maybe we can reach some sort of compromise. Like letting men trade in their assault rifles, in exchange for free penis enlargement surgery.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

😂😂😂

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

"The bedbugs that reside in the honeymoon suite were spray painted gold, in honor of this frightening occasion."

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Dawna

@VaGyver

1 year

@BagdMilkSoWhat I saw it back then and it gave me chills. As I'm sure it did a lot of abuse survivors. It still does.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

I'm definitely going to hell. I didn't even know what "masturbating" was if I ever heard the term, growing up in the south. I just figured it had something to do with being really good at fishing.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

If Kim Jong-un dies, do we move the "un" to the beginning of his name?

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

The ammosexuals are protesting, because someone started a false rumor that gun manufacturers are going to start making triggers look like clits, and they know they'll never be able to locate one again.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

#IfYouStopAndThinkAboutIt if Katniss and Peeta from Hunger Games were Hollywood celebrities, their supercouple nickname would be either Katpee or Peeniss.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

There are people that teach their kids that their bodies are dirty and pleasure is sinful. My daughter dated a guy for a while, age 17, his parents forbade him or his 12 yo sister to ever close their bedroom doors. Told them they shouldn't be doing anything that a door would hide

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

I could throw alphabet magnets at a refrigerator and produce something more intelligible.

Aaron Rupar

@atrupar

4 years

wut

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

For the love of Pete, give us an edit option! #ThoughtsWhileScrollingTwitter

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

My little pig cries "wee! wee! wee!" because I'm always banging it on the legs of furniture.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

Any other female can flash her tits at the band and toss her panties on the stage, and that's perfectly fine. I try it and suddenly I'm "No longer welcome at Chuck E. Cheese's".

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

From a friend: "So, ... should we start calling MAGA hats 'Chinese hats'? I mean, that's where they come from ..."

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

He looks like he's about to attempt a vaginal assault with an inadequate weapon.

Jon Cooper 🇺🇸

@joncoopertweets

5 years

Despite his come-hither look, on rare occasions like this I’m actually GLAD that #TrumpDoesCoverUps .

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

Drunk me is just like regular me, but twice as honest and ten times as horny.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

#IfYouStopAndThinkAboutIt if two people on opposite sides of the world simultaneously drop a slice of bread, Earth briefly becomes a sandwich.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

7 years

My phone died. #LiesIHaveToldMyParents

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

#AcedTheCognitiveTestBy staring at the orange juice container that read "concentrate".

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

@mmpadellan

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

Waiting in line for the bathroom. #ExplainA90sGifPoorly

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

Climaxed so hard during shower sex, that I passed out and fell into the glass doors of the bathtub. Knocked one of them off the track and onto the floor. Luckily it didn't break and he caught me before I went out on top of it. #MySexHorrorStory

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

I'd trust crossing a 4-lane highway blindfolded, on foot, during rush hour traffic, while eating a gas station hot dog, to hand deliver Mark Zuckerberg my social security number, more than I would ever trust Mitch McConnell or any Republican.

McConnell on Trump’s Iran Strike: Just Trust Us!

McConnell suggested that questioning the wisdom of Trump’s air strike on Qasem Soleimani amounts to partisan hysterics.

www.vanityfair.com

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

You're wasting your time, trying to convince me that Trump supporters are so brainwashed they don't comprehend his horribleness. They weren't tricked by him. They share the same views. They've been praying for someone like him to come into power for years.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

I've decided to stop wearing pants in public. If others want to do so, that's their choice. But, I shouldn't be forced to wear something on my body, just to make others feel more comfortable, when wearing them makes me so UNcomfortable.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

Gonna tell my kids this is Biff from "Back To the Future".

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

@MysterySolvent She took off her makeup, in an attempt to connect with us peasant ladies. She doesn't inspire. She infuriates.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

You're a burglar, but you only steal things to slightly inconvenience your victims. What are you stealing???

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

Anyone else remember how the Republicans were so careful to never mention Obama's daughters or Chelsea Clinton? Neither do I. They heckled those poor kids mercilessly. Their fake outrage over someone merely saying Barron's name, makes me nauseous.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

3 years

Wow! ❤️

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

If you are knowingly adopting a child that was kidnapped from their parents by Trump, you're not doing a good deed. You're an accomplice. The best way to start to make up for this is to get your ass in gear and help this child be reunited with his/her true parents.

The Hill

@thehill

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Migrant children quietly being adopted after their parents are deported: report

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

I swore that I would never again live with a narcissist. The walking on eggshells, his withholding affection as a punishment, rules of engagement that changed without warning, were something I could definitely live without. Then, I got a cat, and here the hell I am again...

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Dawna

@VaGyver

1 year

Spot-on reenactment of me ditching my bra as soon as I get home.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

3 years

Karmadillo is the superhero we need. 😂😂😂😂

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Dawna

@VaGyver

1 year

That their minds even imagine such scenarios is very telling about who THEY are. Creepy AF

No Lie with Brian Tyler Cohen

@NoLieWithBTC

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The city of Franklin, Tennessee is voting whether to allow a Pride festival. Someone during public comment says it will result in “a rainbow room where 8-12 year-old kids are given butt plugs & dildos.” This is what GOP propaganda is doing. ( @adammintzer )

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

So would I. ❤👇

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

I suck at cuddling. In less than ten minutes, I'll be touching your private parts.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

Of course Trumpers are declaring he's beaten Covid. Most of them are still bragging about a war their ancestors lost.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

Sweat pants and Netflix a.k.a "Sweatflix" #IntrovertTurnOns

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@VaGyver

6 years

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

I just received an email from Columbia House. After 30 years, I fear the jig is up. The news is out. They've finally found me. They'll have to pry this Styx cassette, along with 9 other popular artists and 2 bonus selections, from my cold, dead, "bill me later" fingers!

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Dawna

@VaGyver

3 years

Turning 50 tomorrow. I swear, I don't feel a day over 90.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

That awkward moment when Rudy Giuliani's own ass turns out to be the whistleblower.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

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Dawna

@VaGyver

6 years

I don't feel like garbage afterwards. I feel like...

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

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Dawna

@VaGyver

3 years

@MysterySolvent A Menstrual Cycle

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

It has come to my attention that people asking for pics of your "fur baby" want to see your pets. My apologies for the nudes.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

Mary Kay Letourneau groomed and raped a child. Full stop. Having his children, then later marrying him, does not negate the fact that she raped him. She was a pedophile.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

2 years

@MysterySolvent Activities Director at an assisted living facility for retired sex workers, called "Geriatricks".

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Dawna

@VaGyver

4 years

I am so sick of Trump supporters claiming "He tells it like it is!" When does he ever tell anything like it actually is? He doesn't. He just tells it the way they want to hear it.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

I keep seeing references to Dems being in the KKK years ago. I have no clue. I wasn't even born. If it's true, it's true. However, I don't know of any Dem/White Supremacists at this time. I DO know that, at this time, the Republican party is overflowing with racists.

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Dawna

@VaGyver

5 years

No idea who wrote this, but it's powerful. ❤❤❤