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Vuyo uMatshaya Profile
Vuyo uMatshaya

@VUMatshaya

12,995
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12,745
Following
3,517
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59,627
Statuses

Husband, Father and a great cook

Cape town
Joined March 2019
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
Me going to my wife, after a woman slide into my dm
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
20 days
Once again hear me
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
Being a teacher is not for faint-hearted 💔
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
Taxi drivers are rude and ruthless, how can he drop me on the freeway? 😥😥😥 Okay long story I had a runny tummy then I sneezed
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
😭😭😭
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
Quick Xhosa lesson Ubulele: Were you sleeping Ubulele: You were sleeping Ubulele: Did you kill Ubulele:Did you kill Ubulele:He killed Ubulele: You killed Ubulele: Did you give thanks Ubulele: Do give thanks Ubulele: He gave thanks Ubelele: Did you bless food
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
Dear wannabe criminals, this is what awaits you
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
After the fourth beer, when you realize that she's not as bad as you first thought.
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
I mistakenly used grocery money to buy beers. She served me this for supper abafazi bane drama kodwa.
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
When you thought you have seen it all.
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
After receiving the DNA test results
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
It's the caption for me 🤣🤣🤣
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
As we prepare for the next taxi strike
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
My August payslip hopefully all those who were involved in #TaxiStrike are happy 😡😡😡
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
You can say SAPS is useless, incompetent and staff. Until the day they start looking for you.
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
Choose your battles wisely.
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
When the day finally comes 🤣🤣🤣
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
Xhosa's will kill you a real death
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
10 months
When that auntie who said, 'you will never succeed in your studies', visits
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
10 months
I just saw the Mechanic and his whole family going to town with my car.
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
Once upon a time in Kenya
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
I refuse to let my 12K worth investment sleep outside
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 months
Literally 🤣🤣🤣
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
I am selling these leopard couches dm for price
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 months
🤣🤣🤣
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
I'm done pretending 😭😭😭 Kulangoma ka Mampintsha, ithini after kuthiwe "ngeke ndivume ehee...."?
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
True or false?
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
Mzantsi for you 🤣🤣🤣
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
After spending 6 days with her and you tell her you are going to chill with your buddy for an hour.
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
Advice to man
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
4 years
@MrHandsome_ZA ❤️
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
@akreana_ #keadrive
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
The pain of being married to a last born 😭😭😭
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
11 months
I need this notice 🤣🤣🤣
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
Amandla endoda akapheli! Obulala indoda akayazi into ayenzayo.
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
Do I have to tell you everything?
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 months
😭😭😭
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
This guy deserves data guys he's fighting for us. 🤣🤣🤣
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
@thuso_thelejane I think the government must protect us😭😭😭. We must file applications to have children, have affordability check done, credit checks especially for fathers to see if they won't run etc. This is too much
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
@MichaelBucwa ❤️
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
Please retweet for awareness 😭😭
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
His facial expression tells it all
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
🤣🤣🤣
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
Fellow Capitec users can please explain this?
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
@akreana_ #KeaDrive
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
Be careful
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
@akreana_ #KeaDrive
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
4 years
@MrHandsome_ZA @VDlakulu
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
I can't wait
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
@akreana_ #KeaDrive
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Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
@akreana_ #KeaDrive
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
Cancel culture is wrong. In fact it's witchcraft noba yenziwa ku Katlego Maboe or ku Mihlali. I mean how do you sleep knowing you are responsible for someone's loss of income? 🚮🚮🚮
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
4 years
@MrHandsome_ZA ❤️
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
@akreana_ #KeaDrive
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
4 years
@MrHandsome_ZA ❤️
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
@MichaelBucwa ❤️
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
People who call toppings things 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
So even the gate can be stolen? 💔😭😭
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
Facebook needs to be bunned in this country 😂😂😂 #bishopmakamu
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
If thinking outside the box was a person
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
@akreana_ #KeaDrive
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
Ladies and gentlemen is this true or false? Discuss
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
@MichaelBucwa I have code 10 drivers license with an expired pdp. I can be rude, skip red robots, overtake on a double barrier line and drive on a yellow line.
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
If this is true! We need to organize a memorial service for this country.
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
Uphi nemoto yam bafo Me: On my way I will explain everything xa ndifika
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
Boss: What can we do to boost the staff moral? Me:
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
Really guy's? 🤣🤣🤣
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
When we say we are all equal before the law. We mean this
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
Uber driver after dropping off a client
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
4 years
@MrHandsome_ZA ❤️
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
When you realize that your battery needs a new car.
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
Whoever made this, deserves to be banned. They must be given whatsapp GB. Yini uNgizwe Mchunu wabantu
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
Thank you spider man, for saving the day.
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
No one: New iPhone user
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
They always have our backs, they make it a point we always early at work. Sometimes gives us RAF.
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
Yesterday was not my day 😥
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
Wait what? Is this what I think it is? 🤣🤣🤣
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
4 years
@MrHandsome_SA ❤️
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
4 years
@MrHandsome_ZA ❤️
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
What's your take?
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
I'm a motivational speaker I just need someone to hurt me, to trigger it.
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
@khomotsoacc I traveled from Mount Frere to Johannesburg, I was in Petermaritsberg when she called and told me that I must go back, her brother was also coming. Mind you I'm in City to City bus, fortunately I had a friend in Tembisa, I spent 3 days trying to call her with no luck
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
11 months
I can't wait to retire
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
4 years
@MrHendsome_ZA ❤️
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
@akreana_ #KeaDrive
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
4 years
@MrHandsome_ZA ❤️
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
4 years
@MrHandsome_SA ❤️
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
Driver: Miss Khumalo it's time to go Zandile Khumalo
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
4 years
@MrHandsome_ZA @VDlakulu
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
8 months
When you don't have an "abantu bazothini syndrome"
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
4 years
@MrHandsome_ZA ❤️
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
4 years
@MrHandsome_ZA ❤️
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Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
4 years
@MrHandsome_ZA ❤️
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
4 years
@Cellular_ZA ❤️
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
1 year
Why have a gym card when you have friends? 🤣🤣🤣
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
@MbongiThe Nope. I can't let a tired hi ruin what I've been building for the past 6 years
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
@AndileSiso94 @ribz_rb Kujthini ukujusa? All along thought ithi yinj'uMseleku
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
The pain of knowing that the last breakfast in bed I had, was when my mom was breastfeeding me
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
3 years
@MrHandsome_ZA ❤️
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@VUMatshaya
Vuyo uMatshaya
@VUMatshaya
2 years
When a friend borrowes your car for a "small job" 😭😭🙆‍♂️
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