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TroutmasterFlex

@TroutmasterFIex

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03XX • Wild West Pimp Style Fishing • #StayFlexing

New England
Joined October 2021
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
5 days
In the soft, golden light of an early fall morning, I found myself at the edge of the river with my fishing gear slung over my shoulder. The night before had been magical; the sky had danced with the ethereal glow of the northern lights, a breathtaking display that seemed to
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
6 months
Asked the Mrs if she’d move to Texas. She said yes. I brought up a horse. Her response … “Just because we move to Texas doesn’t mean you can get a fucking horse, William”!!! I’m only called William when I’m in trouble. So, apparently I’m in trouble for wanting a horse. 🤷‍♂️
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
Massachusetts told me (after getting a 95 on the police exam and applying for armed positions) that I was, “a punk kid” and refused me my license. I also missed out on several job opportunities Oh … and I served my country honorably and admirably. Massachusetts is a shit
@gunpolicy
Firearms Policy Coalition
1 year
Today, FPC announced the filing of an amended complaint in its Granata v. Campbell lawsuit, which challenges Massachusetts' ban on constitutionally protected, modern handguns commonly possessed and used for lawful purposes throughout the United States.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
Here’s a little story. 🧵 14 years ago, I was in a bad place. I had gotten out of the Corps and my transition wasn’t the best. I was scared, slightly disgruntled and the biggest of dummies. 8 billion people in the world but I felt completely alone
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
When the Mrs asked me to take her fishing, I was beyond excited. We got to the river, I explained what’s what. Showed her a couple practice casts and the , she went. Did everything I said. Though, the cast was a little short. BUT NOT IN THE TREE! We laughed and as she reeled in
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 months
Today, I was humbled: A Thread 🧵 Today at a job site, I had the privilege of working with a family who had nonverbal autistic daughter. From the moment I met her, I could tell she had a special energy about her. (1/6)
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
7 months
I did it. I pulled the trigger. I am now the proud owner of a 10ft Jon boat with a trailer and 3.5hp motor. So, at this time, allow me to reintroduce myself. Hi, my name is Captain Flex. Permission granted to come aboard.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
This bitch almost caught these hands! For real, for real! Except I ran away
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
5 months
Who me? Oh, nothing. Just prepping for war with the HOA. Next headline you see “Marine goes full ‘Rambo’ against HOA”
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
Nah, fam No pretend here. You got, “dog piled” on for being a foolish individual Sit down
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@GStandingready
Gage Standingready
1 year
I got dog piled by a bunch of COD players pretending to be Navy/Marine vets yesterday. It's hilarious because REAL veterans aren't that sensitive!
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 years
💀
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
I picked him up with a mile left to get home and told him “You carried me for so long. It’s my turn to carry you now.” I love my best friend.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
“Jean-Philippe Lartigue is officially a state record holder after landing an enormous rainbow trout in northern Maryland. Lartigue was fishing a section of Antietam Creek in Washington County on February 10 when he hooked into the big fish.” 32 inches long and weighing 17.44
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 months
I immediately called my office and told them from now on, I will be the only one you send to this house explaining that these are MY people. As a Marine, my sense of protection for others runs deep within me. The training and values instilled in me during my time in the military
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
@yashar Don’t grab onto a plane when it’s taking off. 🤷🏻‍♂️
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
Ladies… What’s stopping you from looking like this?
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
7 months
Her name “The Great Troutdoors”
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
6 months
Dear Texas. I currently live in a blue state. I’m moving to your state. You can do shit about it. Carry on.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
1 river. 3 species.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
9 months
Dear X users, Stop pretending you’re high speed/low drag. There are very few on here that can do a thing or two about a thing or two and if you’re reading this, there’s a 98% chance that you’re not one of them. Carry on, TroutmasterFlex
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
I made it. Part of the cool kids now.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 years
Kind of want this
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
I got a date tonight. Can you believe it? A real date! With a real woman! Y’all had your chance.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
7 months
@MiamiBeachPD @MDSPD @MDCPS Actually, it’s not. Truancy - n - The absence of a child from school *without permission*. Key phrase is (as indicated above with asterisks), “without permission”
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
6 months
Dear @FedEx My $1500 dollar phone which required a signature was allegedly signed for (says your employees). I have 2 questions 1. Who signed for it? 2. Where is my package?
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
We’ve now been together for 13 years. Average lifespan is 8-10. None of his siblings are alive today. I’d like to think I did damn good with him. Truth is, I think he knows I can’t live without him.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 years
This isn’t up for a debate. I said, good day!
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
Y’all out here putting mayonnaise on your grilled cheeses?
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
We lost a Marine tonight “Marines die, that’s what we’re here for. But the Marine Corps lives forever. And that means YOU will live forever.” Til Valhalla, J
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
Dear @GStandingready , My name is TroutmasterFlex. I am writing you today on behalf of your ridiculous comment about Marines/Navy (1st photo attached to this tweet). I would like to inform you that the United States Marine Corps is, in fact, a department of the Navy. You
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
11 months
So near is God to man, When Duty whispers low, Thou must, The youth replies, I can.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
There were times where I couldn’t afford a pot to loss in. So, I would by chicken and rice. Back then, it was cheap. I would go days without eating so he could have a meal. He’s my best friend. The only thing on this planet I’ve ever truly loved.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
6 months
I’m actually moving to Texas because you all don’t know how to fish. I’m coming from a blue state and going to win every single bass tournament. The secrets out. And there isn’t shit you can do about it.
@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
6 months
Dear Texas. I currently live in a blue state. I’m moving to your state. You can do shit about it. Carry on.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
This really is a tragic event. There was a child on that sub. I can’t meme it. I can’t joke about it. But, maybe after y’all get done laughing you can read this. Try and find some empathy.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
“Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.” He pulled me from the dark and brought me to the light. I owe him more than I can ever give him and you better believe I have and will continue to give him my all.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 months
I have never owned a cat... Not once in my life. A few days ago, this little guy wandered up to me at a secluded lake, miles from any house, obviously abandoned. I couldn't leave him. I guess sometimes they do choose you. His name is Huck Finn, and I will end bloodlines for him.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 years
This is how it’s done
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 years
Good morning Twitheads and Fishheads
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
1. Little fella had quite the appetite 2. No skunk - still counts
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
She finally did it, frens! She flawlessly set the hook and netted her first brownie. #StayFlexing
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
Sorry, can’t. I’m Freedom Fishing with bald eagles. Maybe some other time🤷🏻‍♂️
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 years
💀
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 months
By the end of the day, I felt grateful for the opportunity to work for this family. It was powerful and meaningful in its own unique way. I left the job site feeling inspired and humbled by the experience. (5/6)
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
As he because a … senior citizen … his arthritis sometimes kicks in on a walk. The first time it happened, I picked him up. Realizing that I know have to face my best friend mortality, I got slightly teary.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
4 months
This is my boy. I know there’s a whole bunch of you that, because of his breed, don’t like him. Truth be told, that’s fine. You’re probably a bitch ass hoe anyway. But to me, he’s my best friend. (1/2)
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 months
Finally got a bit of service. Caught close to 30 brook trout today. #StayFlexing
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
Not sure why I found this so funny, but a Prius just drove by me with fuck Joe Biden
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 months
By her using gestures, facial expressions, and simple hand movements all while laughing, she was, in fact, communicating. It was amazing to see how she responded to these nonverbal cues and how quickly we were able to establish a connection and laughing with each other. (3/6)
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
She’s a babe #StayFlexing
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 years
What In the Jesus!?
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 months
Despite not being able to communicate verbally, she had a way of expressing herself through her actions and expressions. I could sense her curiosity and eagerness to communicate while I was working. (2/6)
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
First cast
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
7 months
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 months
Her mother was taken aback. “What is going on” she asked with a confused excitement. “She never does this with anybody”! She continued to tell me, “when people come to the house she usually hides and shuts down. Especially if she doesn’t know them”. (4/6)
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
@CCPISASSH0E Wallace for sure. He will be the funniest one. No filter. And the stories he’ll share … Wallace ALL DAY ERRYDAY
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
@krassenstein @hcroys Hahaha stfu pedo fuck
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
“What are you going to name him”? A asked. “Tango. His name is Tango”. He’s a tiger striped brindle APBT. Light and dark brown fur. The o my one in the litter. The rest were either solid light or solid brown.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
And the first was a rainbow. Both I the GoPro Total of 2 so far
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
11 months
SFMF HAPPY BIRTHDAY
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
Just saw two young boys. Probably about 12-ish? Riding their bicycles with fishing poles. That’s the sign of a good parent
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
Since this was going to be a lifelong bond, I didn’t want to pick the dog. I wanted the dog to lick me. As luck would have it, or fate, the very dog I saw and loved would not leave me alone. I knew he was the one.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
I’m not an emotional person. A fault I suppose. But, this … this made me emotional. I truly hope this is how it is.
@perry_ron
Noble Ron
8 months
What a glorious reunion it will be.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
So far, 7 Brookies
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
@A_n_a_r_c_h_y_6 @DempMcgee 😂😂😂 Chugged-chugga … toot … toot
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 years
Got a text from my buddy. While on his route, came across this Beautiful girl in a filthy cage next to a trashcan. Calling on #goontwitter for veterinarian assistance. she is now his and we are going to take amazing care of her. Any assistance would be greatly appreciated
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 months
Sorry, can’t. Bout to drop $2.5mil on a restaurant/bait and tackle shop. Maybe another time? Perhaps sometime between next week and never? See ya ‘round, chumps
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
First new bonk it on the head. Then, you cut its gills and bleed it out. Next, starting at the anus, you slice upwards to the head along the underside. But, be careful! You don’t wanna slice too deep and cut the guts open. Next, you remove the guts from the body cavity. Seasoned
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@peta
PETA
2 years
Eating a fish is just as wrong as eating a cow.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
P wanted a female. I wanted a male. Just our preferences when it comes to dogs. I turned the corner and saw this handsome boy. He had such a personality. However, this was my first dog (as an adult). All mine. He relied on me.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
10 months
Dear pocket family, #GoodMorning I haven’t been on much as of late so I wanted to pop in this morning to wish you all a very merry Christmas. I’m proud of you all. #StayFlexing today Your fishy fren, TroutmasterFlex
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
Got one!
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
You can argue #2A all you want. It doesn’t change what our founding fathers intended; what they foresaw. A “well regulated #militia ” isn’t the military. It’s “We the people”.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
#GoodMorning We are back to our regular scheduled fishing content #StayFlexing
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
4 months
Today is my anniversary. 18 years. Go me.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
After we hung up, I realized I didn’t know ANYTHING about the dog I was getting. Breed. Age. Issues. Ect. I called him back. “A, quick question. I’m not walking back my answer, I want a dog. Just curious, though. What breed is it? Any issues? I mean, $50? It’s not a bad dog, is
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
I think on this holiest of days I’ll #StayFlexing with a #NewProfilePic
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 months
@SpIinterCal Want to talk about it? RDJ was hesitant to take the role. He knew some dickheads, such as yourself, would try and drag him for it. However, many prominent black actors, Jamie Fox being one of them, encouraged, even demanded, he take the roll. They saw the humor in it.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
9 months
Dear @GuyFieri I tried your chicken joint here in AC. Firstly, the prices you charge aren’t on par with the food itself. But, that’s not the worst part. The worst part is walking up to the register and having to wait for your employee to stop texting before I gave my order.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
“Well, A has some puppies. I’ll give him a call and tell him to hit you up” A day or 2 later I received another call. “Hey, bro! P told me you were looking for a dog”? “Yea buddy”! I said. “Bet. $50. I’ll let you know when they’re ready” Short and to the point.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
@CoyoteUnclean She’s beautiful. This is Tango
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
@peta @ManeeshGiri_ Unless my neighbor is Cambodian. Cambodians have the finest of breastmilk.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
I got a phone call one day from my best from P. (Side note. P was my friend before who knew English. We met in 1999. He was also the only one who visited my mother while I was in) He asked, “hey bro, you wanted to get a dog right”? “Hell yea. Why what’s up”? I responded
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 years
Thanks to @shuqilleoatmeal , we’re about to have some nice fillets
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
A Story - For Those Who Care to Read It I was in Greece. It was maybe 2000 (the time, not the year)? I couldn’t tell you from where I came nor could I tell you to where I was headed. But, along the way, I saw an older fellow siting on the sidewalk. Guitar in hand. Guitar case in
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
He bag an to laugh. “No, no. It’s good, bro. They are Pitbulls. Roxie had a litter. I didn’t mean for this to happen so I’m just trying to recoup some of the money I lost on the vet bill.” “Oh, word. Well, then. 1 more question”
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
@RepPressley Well, there’s only men and women … sooo
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
I was given a thing today.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
8 months
“I don’t care what pick of the litter I get. But can you maybe save me a male?” “Definitely” So, an about a week later we got the call that the dogs were ready. P and I went together in my car. When we showed up, we found out everyone else backed out.
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
7 months
The Mrs - “I don’t want to be 3rd place to this … boat Me - mmmm The Mrs - are you serious!? You already like the boat more than me. Me - not true. I like you. I just love the boat. The Mrs - you don’t even have it yet! Me - and before Andy was born, you didn’t have a son yet
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
Got a buddy who’s a history guy. Especially military history. I’m not a big birthday kind of person. Don’t care about mine. Don’t care about yours. It’s just another day. However, dudes like a little brother. So I figured for his birthday I’d gift him some Saddam money. I’ve had
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
First first - Brown Second Fish - Rainbow #StayFlexing
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
6 months
Made a quick stop at the river. May go back later for a bit #StayFlexing
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
2 years
Let’s go
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 years
When that new @smcroasters gear comes in! 🔥
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
6 months
Do you pan fry or boil your hotdogs?
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
3 months
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
7 months
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@TroutmasterFIex
TroutmasterFlex
1 year
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