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The X Wife

@TheWifeYouLove

30,644
Followers
8,639
Following
19,479
Media
214,268
Statuses

Ridiculous & disgusting things go on here....like sarcastic things. (gasp). I also share music. I probably don’t like you. Fuck off.

Cheryl’s She-Shed
https://t.co/Ud9YJ89t91
Joined April 2016
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
6 years
rinse the fucking peanut butter off the motherfucking knife before you put it in the motherfucking dishwasher, motherfuckers
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
RIP sweet Sadie. 💔 2005-2019
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
2 years
I’m well overdue for some shenanigans.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
4 years
Grams passed away this morning. I’ll be gone for awhile. (a tweet for those that care)
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Just sent OJ Simpson a dm asking him if he’d like to go to a murder mystery party.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
3 years
45. Long hair. Don’t care. Thank you for the good wishes today everyone ♥️
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
6 years
If you dudes really think your dicks are all that pretty why don't you start sending them to each other instead.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I haven’t worn underwear in 12 days.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
2 years
There might be less vibrators in the world if men could just ask for directions. (sips)
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
3 years
I’m going to listen to Foo Fighters and face fuck a pizza.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
4 years
Women my age are in their sexual prime. You dumb motherfucker.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
2 years
After my meds I lay in bed, relax and fart a lot.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
6 years
If I say “I got you” I fucking got you.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
6 years
my language is only offensive if you’re a fucking pussy
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
So as I was saying. Fuck Cheryl and her motherfucking she-shed.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
6 years
Dear IG & FB refugees: YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US, MOTHERFUCKERS.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
It’s not your penis that is the issue. It’s the dick attached to it.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I just blocked a dumb motherfucker for talking shit on Paul Rudd. You goddamn monster. Mama Rudd created a masterpiece. You shut your whore mouth.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
2 years
I left my house tonight. I even hung out with other adult humans. I’m exhausted.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
If curse words bother you maybe you should read a self help book on how to quit being such a ridiculous fucking pussy.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
6 years
Some shit you just fucking feel.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I got so drunk last night I did something horribly disgusting and I’m so fucking ashamed. I reactivated my FB account. I feel so dirty.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Jesus fucktits. You guys are so boring I might have sex with my husband tonight.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I don’t need to die to haunt you motherfucker.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I don’t want anyone in my life that lacks natural empathy in their heart.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
You don’t destroy someone you truly love. That’s not how it works.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Shut the fuck up and push me on the swingset, motherfucker.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
6 years
I don’t give a fuck how strong you are. Some shit just hurts your fucking heart.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
2 years
(jerk off motion)
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Younger men don’t know where anything is, especially the clit.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
“I was trying to be fucking nice motherfucker” - me being nice to motherfuckers.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
You can be flawed and absolutely perfect to the right motherfucker.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
With bad comes good. Skin check today shows still cancer free! I had 7 pre-cancercous spots frozen but no biopsies. Dr McHotness said we are now in the “manageable” phase. MUCH better than the news I got a year ago.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I just saw someone say cheese doesn't belong on salads. So they are reported and blocked. People like that are why we can't have nice salads.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
If I get quarantined I’m going to learn to use TikTok and annoy the fuck out of everyone.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I’m considering letting you do weird things to me. No. Not you. You.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I decide who is worth knowing me, not the other way around.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Drove by a bachelorette party last night and yelled “don’t get married” during their selfie. “Boo” me all you want now, bitch. You’ll see. I warned you.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Well why not..... Thirsty Turtleneck Thursday.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
If you live with someone who suffers from mental illness, educate yourself on their type of illness. Ignorance is not fucking bliss.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I just blocked someone for saying gravy is disgusting. There will be zero discussion about this. Try better gravy, dumbfuck.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I’ll love you on all of your bad days.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
If you hugged me I would cry because I need a hug and I have dumb girl emotions.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Strong ass bitches need strong ass hugs.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
4 years
I could stab a motherfucker to death with my nipples right now.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
DM dude: Hi Me: show me your tits.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Find the person who traces your scars with their love.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I give zero fucks if you have a beard. I give all the fucks about you being respectful and loving.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Narcissistic men have tiny little fairy dicks. It’s science.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I bless the rains down in Australia
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
A sensitive soul should be nurtured not shamed.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
2 years
(jerk off motion) I love it when they like my comments.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I’m 43 and I say and do some dumbass motherfucking shit. - me flirting
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
4 years
Overweight, overwhelmed, over emotional and over it all.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
My employee drove up with antlers and a goddamn red nose on her suv today. HR says I can’t fire her for that. Such bullshit.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
4 years
I’m starving. I should have a glass of wine.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
43 and the first turtleneck of the season. Thank you so much for the love today. You all are amazing ❤️
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
It took me almost 43yrs to figure out who the fuck I am. That’s why I am the way I am. I’m insecure about many things, but not about my heart and soul. Although.... those are also my most fragile parts.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
6 years
Fuck it. I’m just gonna get fat.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
You made my vagina tingle so you’re mine now.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Listen up, my lovely bitches. Don’t ever dumb yourself down for anyone or any reason. Fuck that noise. Find your people ffs.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I love you guys. That’s why I take you all to the shitter with me every time I go.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
6 years
When I hit 8K I’m going to pick a hot guy on here and ask him to show me his tits.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I wish my husbands girlfriend would send me nudes during quarantine.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
6 years
fuckit let's just get fat
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
The twitter update can suck my big fat lady dick.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I drink, offend people and know things.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
School is cancelled for the year and I’m capable to work from home. I’m fortunate where others aren’t. I will still bitch. A lot.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I ran twitter jail for a week. I only dropped the soap once and I learned to make a mean license plate. Now.... who needs cut? Mamas back.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
You’re a cunt. Your mom’s a cunt. Your grandma is a cunt. Your great grammy is a cunt. Your grandpa is a cunt too. Your entire bloodline consists of only cunts. Fuck off.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Thinking about selling my husband on the black market after I roofie him.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Someone who knows your truth, the good and the ugly, and still cares for you.....they are motherfucking priceless in the world today. Act accordingly if you have that person.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Sometimes your head hurts because your heart hurts
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
2 years
I got good news this week and it made me happy and I feel so fucking weird.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
6 years
The fucked up thing about not being treated right in a relationship is that you have zero idea how to act when you are being treated right.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Making fun of someone in a dark place really shows your character.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
“Hey, just checking in with you, it’s been a minute” is another way of saying you care.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Twitter, where people who hate people come and find their people.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
4 years
We are all completely fucked. Have a nice day.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I love the “no dm’s. married af” bios. Especially with their paypal link immediately following. Bitch, please.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Quit spending money on stupid fucking bullshit. Spend that paper on travel. See the world. Experience other cultures. Fucking live.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I hope your meat stays moist today.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
2 years
Sorry I haven’t been around. I was behind on Netflix.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I am in the holiday spirit you piece of shit.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Fuck everything and everyone today. Namaste.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
4 years
Don’t make her ashamed of the scars she never asked for.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
The husband fell asleep in his recliner before 6pm. This night is gonna be fuckin lit.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
6 years
Serious tweet time: (thread) I had skin cancer until today. In the last 2 weeks I’ve had 3 very large tumors cut from my body. My arm and my upper chest. I have 12 stitches in my arm and I have 12 stitches and 30 staples in my chest (put in today).
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
4 years
First day of virtual schooling is in the bag. We all did great. The teacher only smoked pot in the bathroom once today.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
C’mere. I want to perform some acts of kindness on you.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I eat Taco Bell a lot so I don’t have to do butt stuff.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Some connections just happen. Don’t apologize when the universe speaks.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
6 years
*lights cigarette* go fuck yourself Ray Liotta
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
4 years
Here’s the moon last night from my new telescope..... She is magnificent
Tweet media one
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Real friends forgive you when you lose your psychotic shit mind.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Quit fucking fighting on here and go fight with your family. It’s the goddamn holiday season, fuckfaces.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I like your mind. - me flirting
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
Sorry I started singing Tiny Dancer when you showed me your dick.
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@TheWifeYouLove
The X Wife
@TheWifeYouLove
5 years
I kinda wanna kidnap you. Shhh.... Don’t make it awkward.
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