Alexis @TheNotoriousLEX Twitter profile

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Alexis

4 years

New Rule: People from suburbs complaining about having to reopen on the same timetable as Chicago are forever forbidden from telling people they live in Chicago.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

24 days

CNN had better let Anderson Cooper black out on New Year’s Eve for this.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 months

GEORGIA HAS FOREVER CHANGED THE ROLL CALL GAME!!! WHAT?!?!?! OKKKKKKK!

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 months

I’m a few years older than JD Vance and I can tell you a lot of us don’t have children because we keep meeting guys like JD Vance.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

My brother’s black tie wedding RSVP asked chicken or fish and I’m legit DEAD at who catered this wedding. 😂😂

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

24 days

@RogueLou18 LOL what? This is a joke about Anderson and Andy being told by CNN not to drink too much on his New Year’s Eve shows. No one was talking about your dumb cult leader. Go to bed.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

24 days

He is fighting for his LIFE and I cannot look away.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

4 years

So sad to hear of the death of Pedro Gomez. You’re going to hear a lot of stories about how nice he was, and here’s mine: Back in 2017 he sat next to me at Murphy’s after game 3 of the NLCS. The Cubs were facing elimination and he asked me if I thought they had it in them. 1/3

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 months

Lake Shore Drive is a literal parking lot now because everyone from the burbs decided to drive into the city and put their flashers on to watch the fireworks. I haven’t moved in an hour and I’m so mad that I can smell colors and hear shapes. MOOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEE!

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

5 months

Summer in Chicago is just a series of “oh that’s THIS weekend?” realizations and believe me when I tell you there is none more entertaining than walking down the streets of East Lakeview and realizing it’s International Mr. Leather Daddy weekend.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

1 year

Wild shit I heard/saw on the LONG walk from Soldier Field to the Loop: - A guy took his jersey off & threw it in a garbage can. - “That was Ron Turner terrible.” - “Arlington Heights can have this bullshit.” “ A guy BROKE UP w/his Packer fan gf because she was smiling too much.”

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

1 year

As you’ve probably heard, Lakeview was destroyed by twerking gay black teens on Sunday. Shadow & I were finally rescued from the debris of my collapsed building this morning & I’m currently aiding in the effort to find other survivors. It’s not looking good. Hug your loved ones.

WGN TV News

@WGNNews

1 year

Hundreds of teens takeover Lakeview, destroying neighborhood

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

4 years

He said that one of the perks of his job was meeting different baseball fans and since he would be going to the winning team’s city next, he always made sure to pick up some locker room corks to make some of those fans smile. And smile I did. Rip, Pedro.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 months

People that keep talking about the intern that did this need to realize that the millennials who were dancing to Lil Jon in college are now over 40 and this is how things are going to be now.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

6 years

Sam: "At least I can go home now that my brother is lord..." Daenerys: #DemThrones

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 years

Just saw something that referred to Boystown as NoHa and we are not doing this, Chicago.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

4 years

And yes I still have it!

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

Jimmy’s “Fuck the Packers” is just so damn pure.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

7 years

Cersei talking about the Dothraki crossing the border seemed awfully familiar. #thronesyall #gameofthrones

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 months

@ChadMSotebeer Like Kid Rock and Hulk Hogan? 🤣

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

24 days

@RogueLou18 If you can’t wait to see how a random person you didn’t know existed an hour agoreacts to something in 30 days, you need more things to look forward to in your life. Because I’ve muted you and won’t think of you after I send this tweet.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

6 years

Me, a Bears fan, watching other teams’ kickers making clutch field goals.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

And at the end of the night he drove off in a Ferrari. He was a true fairytale groom.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

24 days

@ThatOtherAlcala Gloria Vanderbilt was a fashion designer, not a fish!

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

8 years

Dear, @NRA . A man was killed for having a licensed firearm yesterday. Any particular reason you're silent on this matter? #PhilandoCastile

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

Let me be clear, I (and no one else) was complaining. It was the best idea ever. We just were caught off guard because they played it off well. The appetizers and first course were good but standard catering food.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

😂😂😂

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

5 years

@chrissyteigen Ha I saw it and I will never tell or email. Until I get married. Expect an invite. ☺️

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

10 months

@WhitlockJason Nothing you can say about Katie is going to own her more than you owned yourself by tweeting a targeted ad outing your porn preferences. Miss us with the explanations because they only work on people who don’t understand google ads are not the same as twitter.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

4 years

I said they didn’t and elaborated when he asked why. He said “You know your stuff!” reached into his backpack, handed me a cork and said “This is for you.” It was a champagne cork from the Cubs’ locker room celebration when they’d won the NLDS in Washington the week before. 2/3

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

1 year

We cannot ignore the fact that this Northwestern scandal was broken by student-journalists at @thedailynu whose ethics were strong enough to investigate a program they, themselves, may hold dear. Shoutout to @jadande for overseeing one hell of a sports journalism program.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

If the Cubs truly wanted to celebrate Wrigleyville, they’d have put this on the front of their jersey and it would have sold out in 90 seconds.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

5 months

I am crying laughing at Portillo’s cutting a back door deal with PETA to park an anti pork farming truck in front of The Wiener’s Circle: an establishment that sells beef hotdogs.

The Wieners Circle

@TheWienerCircle

5 months

Save the pigs! ⁦Our ⁦ @ViennaBeef ⁩ rep stopped by at da right time

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

1 year

A reminder that people that talk the most shit about Chicago have never been here.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

10 months

@WhitlockJason Temu sells millions of items so you searched for SOMETHING that made them think you wanted to send that card to a man. When I go to THE EXACT SAME PAGE it shows me the shoes I just bought from . The call is coming from inside the house, Jason. Come on out!

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

1 year

“SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT CHICAGO” Twitter is THE best subset of Chicago Twitter.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

@travmason @thesportscrib21 Their Yelp page is...

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 months

@CarolWalshReal1 Feels good to be energetic again!

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 years

@RexChapman Don Jr’s entire demeanor is that of someone that enters your subway car from another while the train is in motion and upon entry yells “Can I have your attention…” before screaming the most incoherent bullshit you’ve ever heard.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 months

Home. Total time: 3 hours and 32 minutes to go 35 miles. The only thing that would’ve been worse is if my dog had peed in my floor. Thankfully he held it like a champ, but let me tell you, he had to GO.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

8 years

@jemelehill All chill has been suspended for the evening.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

1 year

Jose Ramirez hit the wrong one because Tim Anderson knows who to call…

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

4 years

@Bittner58 @TitusNation My tags are expired because in Illinois you have to get an emissions test before you buy a sticker. Emissions stations were closed from March until last week. Stop justifying police brutality. He deserved a ticket at most. That guy WANTED to beat him.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

@Mister_JCole Shoutout to his wife who isn’t from Chicago and rolled with it to make him happy. That’s how you know it’s gonna last.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

8 years

This house synched its Christmas lights to Prince music being broadcast over a radio frequency!! Shut it down. They've won Christmas 2016.🎄

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 months

@artbyleka It is never like this, but since millenials are now 40 and boomers are retiring, this might be the new normal. 😂

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

@SheRatesDogs Grandma did her a favor by exposing this one.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

1 year

The Bears last won a game the Sunday before my niece was born. Now she’s walking.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

4 months

Every rational American watching this debate

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

1 year

Y’all I ate an Italian Beef with hot peppers in the Wrigley Field bleachers during “Go Cubs Go” and it by far the most Chicago thing I’ve ever done. #victorybeef

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

10 years

LeBron's face looked like he would kill to have Lance Stephenson blowing on him now if it somehow would cool him down.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 months

@cs113x You assume that I was just travelling at my leisure. I expected heavy traffic, but the expectation should not be that LSD be completely shut down. Driving to the city to park your car on a 4 lane highway with no shoulders to see fireworks is indefensible.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 months

I left my parents’ house (30 miles away) 2 hours and 40 minutes ago and I’m going to turn into John Wick at the 3 hour mark.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

5 years

Juliana Zobrist is a modern day Yoko Ono. Her husband made us suffer through her garbage music and she repaid him by breaking up his band.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 years

Please stop tweeting to me that Boystown is now officially called Northalsted. I’ve lived here for years and am aware. “NoHa” is not happening though.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

9 years

Show me Miss Colombia...

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

10 months

I did not think 2024 would be the year noted asshat Jason Whitlock would call me stupid only to get COOKED in the QTs and replies… but here we are.

Jason Whitlock

@WhitlockJason

10 months

I realize this app rewards stupidity. But you -- and everyone else -- are not so stupid to believe a Temu ad is linked to porn. It's a fun talking point and helps advance the agenda. I get it. It's no different from everyone pretending there's a pandemic of police killing

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

If Jimmy can somehow pull this off I’ll let people from Arlington Heights say they’re from Chicago completely unchecked for the rest of 2022.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

1 year

@Liberty1Dude If three large crowds and three damaged cars is enough to get sand in your vagina, it’s probably best that you moved because that is light work compared to the Cubs season. I hope you’ve found happiness in Beecher.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

6 months

On the subway back from the Statue of Liberty we randomly saw the Pride of NW Indiana, Jim Gaffigan, on the D train.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

1 year

Walgreens has a decent deal on sewing kits.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

Ma’am...

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

8 years

Out of nowhere Wrigley just shot off a solid 3 minutes of fireworks from the video boards and center field scoreboards! #GoCubsGo

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

4 years

I’ve said it before, but all debates should be moderated my Tony Reali with a mute button.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 months

@madtwatterphd Yes I can because the roll call is literally for states to showcase their culture and Lol Jon is embedded in Georgia culture and was GEORGIA’s guest. The DNC didn’t give him a 15 minute prime time speaking slot ahead of the nominee. That would be insane.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

Uhhh so… I’m at @Club400cubscave and Sammy Sosa just called in and said it’s time to come home to Chicago. Not kidding. This is wild.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

I think @NiseiLounge just elected a new pope.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

Still slaps.

Rex Chapman🏇🏼

@RexChapman

3 years

On this day in 1985 — Tears For Fears went to No.1 on the US singles chart with 'Everybody Wants To Rule The World'…

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

GUYS… IT HAPPENED!

Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

I just discovered Patrick Wisdom lives down the hall and I don’t know what to do because I always let players be… but I REALLY wanna high five him.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 months

@suesswassersee I JUMPED off my couch the second I heard “Fire up the loud… another round of shots…” that was AWESOME!

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

1 year

What will this look like AVN Weekend?

Sphere

@SphereVegas

1 year

Sphere X @NBASummerLeague @NBA #SphereVegas

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

5 months

The best part about out this year was that I was in Whole Foods thinking “Is that a leather daddy buying artisanal cheese at 7PM?” and then 5 minutes later one rolled up to the hot bar and I was like “is that a DIFFERENT leather… ope… wait a minute…”

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

24 days

@KCeresWright Dated one for 3 and this would’ve tested his nerves with his tenure.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

9 months

Quick history lesson: Whenever you see black versions of something (Anthem, HBCUs, BET, Ebony Magazine Juneteenth) know that they were born out of us being banned or ignored by the mainstream versions. Don’t get mad when those you didn’t invite to your party throw their own.

Newsweek

@Newsweek

9 months

Black national anthem sends MAGA into meltdown 🔗 -

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

I just discovered Patrick Wisdom lives down the hall and I don’t know what to do because I always let players be… but I REALLY wanna high five him.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

4 years

I can’t believe Gale Sayers, Brian Urlacher, and Jay Cutler all died this year.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

5 years

I know Jeopardy doesn’t eliminate people mid show, but she should’ve been escorted out of the building before the next question was asked.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

7 years

Just give it to Tim Duncan.

Dirk Nowitzki

@swish41

7 years

Spring closet cleaning. Keep or no? #oldschool #classof98

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

4 years

@THEHermanCain This you?

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

5 years

Someone in my neighborhood group on Facebook got in contact with the tamale guy (since the bars being closed hurts him too) and orchestrated a parking lot pop up. He sold over 700 tamales. Mr. Rogers was right - look for the helpers. It'll make you feel better. 😊

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 months

@loganpinedaa No this goes hard.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

5 years

@TerriHilt @chrissyteigen That’s a shot you can’t not shoot.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

4 years

I have a tenant who just renewed her lease for her 4th year. She never complains and I haven’t touched the unit’s rainy day fund (the money from her rent) in a year. So I surprised her with in unit laundry. Got it approved by the board and it’ll be there ASAP. This feels good.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 months

@TheCadenceJason He does! The juxtaposition of his teacher voice with ATL crunk makes things all the more better.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

6 years

Never forget. #Remembering41

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

1 year

@dmakilakersfan It’s a LONG walk and I was by myself so I took it ALL in. I basically heard people going through the entire 7 stages of grief. By the time I got to Michigan and Adams people were calmly discussing rebuild timelines.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

7 months

The Cubs’ second best offseason move was signing Tom freaking Morello.

Tom Morello

@tmorello

7 months

The Chicago @Cubs hype track for every home game this season is HOLD THE LINE by yours truly and @grandson GO CUBS!

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 months

@HeelsNheartbrk Tiger Woods though…

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

2 months

@M0N60053 There are no shoulders on LSD.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

1 year

Some people wouldn’t be caught dead rewearing the same dress, but I’m just proud this thing still zips a decade later. 🤪 After pneumonia and 2 months of 70+ hr work weeks I’ve been convinced to celebrate my bday 2 months late. Happy 41 and 2 weeks bday to me! 🎂

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 months

@DrPepperHand Sounds like your experience dating straight men (and being married) differs than mine.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

1 year

Limiting replies to followers because those smooth of brain are incapable of understanding that this tweet was about the suspiciously hyperbolic coverage with respect to the amount of damage that was done. No one is condoning property damage.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

@KDTrey5 That just means you have too much money for your ankles to look like A5 Wagyu.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

6 years

My mother almost died today. Fuck your thoughts and prayers. DO SOMETHING! #MercyHospital

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

21 days

Not a bad first half. if you can’t tell on TV, this place is packed with Bears fans and we are LOUD.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

4 years

@PattyAnn40962 @people This you?

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

5 months

Good morning and happy @24_7Farnsworth day to all who celebrate.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

1 year

Side note: If anyone reading this knows the Ron Turner guy, please let him know that even though I didn’t see him, I’m confident he’s my soulmate based on the quote alone.

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Alexis

@TheNotoriousLEX

9 years

I have nothing but respect for police that truly protect and serve, but if you celebrate Darren Wilson Day, I hope you get hit by a bus.

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@TheNotoriousLEX

3 years

Daddy daughter night at the UC. #BullsNation

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