So today I joked with the kids that I was going to read from the dictionary and they cheered so I followed through on it and they just sat and listened to me reading out definitions of words. Kids are weird.
Really worried about my class. Out of the 13 that have school dinners, only 4 of them chose fish finger butties today.
Does anyone know of any interventions or have any advice? They can’t grow up continuing to make poor decisions like this.
I go back to work tomorrow after 5 months off sick. Went in to school this afternoon to say hello and find out what I’ll be doing etc. walked in to the hall at lunch time and was greeted with the biggest cheer from the kids - it felt great! Also some of them thought I’d died…
Imagine my delight when I arrive in school to see that this monstrosity has been fixes to the wall right in the middle of the biggest display board in my classroom...
My classroom is pretty much done now and these thin baskets are my purchase of the year. Big enough to fit everything that 2 pupils will need (glue sticks pending) and small enough to not get in the way.
Guys, as of a short while ago, I am no longer a teacher. It was a tough decision to reach but it was destroying me and I could no longer take the stress. I’ll still be tutoring and doing supply work until I find something more more permanent.
About a year ago, my girlfriend quit her NHS job after struggling with mental ill health for a long time. She started using art as a form of therapy and today she is hosting an exhibition of her work in our local.
Today a child argued that he didn’t need to punctuate the planning for his writing because he wasn’t planning on punctuating his story: he hates punctuation and wanted to write a story for other people who hate punctuation.
I have a child with autism in my class who cannot stop himself from telling the class that he can count to 10 in Spanish every time that I say the word ‘ten’ so I might need to ditch teaching place value.
Also, he cannot count to 10 in Spanish.
Had PPA at home this morning and it was a game changer. Had time to go for a run and pick up a coffee before work. No distractions at home too so got loads done.
Why do we need to see more male primary teachers?
My class have done some writing about their anxieties this morning and one child wrote about how she was nervous about having a male teacher because she’d only ever had female teachers.
That’s one reason...
@MenTeachPrimary
Hate me if you will, but my plan for tomorrow is to do the register, dish out a couple of tests, read some of our class book and then PPA in the afternoon.
Me to a child facing the wrong way: Turn around
Child at the other side of the room: EVERY NOW AND THEN I GET A LITTLE BIT TERRIFIED AND THEN I SEE THE LOOK IN YOUR EYES
These are my favourite socks. I like to wear them on the wrong feet whenever we have guests to freak them out. It’s been so long since we had someone visit us that my girlfriend forgot about them and was powerless to prevent it from happening.
Guys, I’ve had the best idea of my life today and I have solved the problem of keeping my hair out of my eyes whilst I wait for the barbers to open. Didn’t want to wear a headband, so now I just look like I’m doing DIY!
One of my lockdown 1 buddies got me with a snowball after school today and I don’t know whether I should be plotting my revenge or just concede defeat because he’s only in year 2.
Child A: Mr Birch have you seen Nine on Netflix? I watched half of it last night...
Me: So you watched 4.5 then?
Child A: .... what?
I am wasted talent...
My class bubble burst t’other day and we’re back to online lessons til the end of the year. Does anyone have any good end of year virtual games we could play?
I’d like to try ending the year with something nice because my last proper lesson was about wet dreams and erections…
Child this morning: Mr Birch, I’m so glad you’re back. We had 3 different supply teachers last week and they were all different!
Same child this afternoon: I wish the supply teachers were back.
There’s just no pleasing some people…
Update on my brand new tiny trolley: I’ve been using it to store eggs for the past two days, it held 4 large eggs but could have probably stretched it to a risky 5. That is use
#4
If you’re going to be filled with last-day-of-term dread tonight, my top tip for you is to put fresh bedding on this morning so you have a reason to look forward to going to bed.
Followers, I got engaged last week. Hands down the best thing to come out of it is that we’ve been sent these massive pasties (almost as big as our heads) as an engagement gift from
@annspasties
@MrWC_Y4
@MichaelRosenYes
I’ve found that there are only two types of video that truly hold a child’s attention: Michael Rosen performing poetry and David Attenborough presenting a nature documentary. I’m yet to meet a child who doesn’t enjoy both of those things.
#edutwitter
I’m starting a spooky stories unit after half term and spending a lesson investigating the word fear. Any idea what I can put in the final box? I could just get rid of it but can’t help but feel I’m missing an opportunity.
Throwback to this morning when I overheard a child explain the difference between synonyms and cinnamon to another child.
FYI his description of cinnamon was “something you put on churros.”
This is the quilt that I took from the Paralympic village when I was an athletics official in 2012. Pretty sure we weren’t supposed to take them but it’s a cool quilt.
My new favourite teacher joke:
Child: Mr Birch, do I have to wash my hands again? I’ve just washed them in the toilet.
Me: That’s disgusting, wash them again.
Can somebody who is down with cool people lingo please explain what this means so I can respond appropriately?
I’ve heard a number of possibilities from various sources today.
This day last year, my friend and I drove all the way down to a small town near London that I’d never heard of, just to have a picnic with
@AlexHorne
and it was a lovely day.
Alex, if you see this can you please confirm if our world record attempt was ratified?
#TaskmasterDay
What’s the best film about a sports team going from rags to riches after a new coach comes in with inspirational belief and dedication?
My vote goes to Coach Carter.
That was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen on TV. There would have been kids watching, his family and friends shouldn’t have had to see that. Poor form from BBC.
Was showing my class around Mexico City on Google Earth today, destroying misconceptions about it being all dessert and sombreros. Dropped in on a built up area, right next to a market stall selling an array of very colourful bras.
Absolute chaos.
Remember a few years ago when our biggest problem was The X Factor so we all worked together as a nation to get Rage Against the Machines to Christmas number 1? I miss that.
Most of my time on Twitter is spent typing a response to people and then not tweeting it. Not because it’s unkind but for fear of how people will respond.
When you were in primary school, what was the best job that was actually the worst job?
I had to spend all break time cutting fruit and delivering them to the classes. Thought I was the bees knees to be trusted with such an important job. Now I know it was a waste of breaktime.
You’d think I’d committed some sort of heinous crime, based on the reaction of my class. Alas, I did the wrong voice for one of the main characters in our class book.