Your redheaded dream girl 🥰
But like a fever dream, where it's weird & doesn't make a lot of sense & you end up all sweaty. Brisbane &FMTY
Beemit TrashPandaIRL
I sent this pic to a guy friend and he was like "no, I don't love it" and he clearly has no taste & is in fact a terrible person by default because the outfit is EVERYTHING
Can we normalise platonic spouses or something?
It would be nice to have a 2 income household & share life & responsibilities with someone, but not complicate it with romantic love
Let me hype you up, support you, stroke your hair, then go to my own bed
Single? IN THIS ECONOMY?
I was meant to have the rarest of events this evening: a civvie date
Not only did he go silent leading up to it, he texts 2.5 hours before the date to say he is too hungover
Just... does he even realise people pay $$ to date me & he is SQUANDERING it
What a mouldy hedgehog
Providers would you consider it rude if a client brought a nice bottle of booze and then took it with them when they leave?
Am I supposed to charge a corkage fee? 😂
A client once told me;
"You know how I know you're not faking it? Because nobody would choose to make the noises you do"
I'm choosing to take this as a compliment
Thread incoming for clients that hopefully comes across as informative vs rant like:
Don't arrive significantly early to bookings
I really need clients to understand how much of a faux pas it is to arrive to a booking early
So many of you are arriving 15mins early or more
If y'all could stop asking me about my plans after sex work or my exit strategy or what I'm doing to prepare for retirement or if I'm planning to go back to uni or how long can I actually do this for or if I've invested in property or plan to that would be fucking swell, thanks
Can I pull off this top?
Is it appropriate for public outings?
You can't wear a bra with it, but it is only slightly see through at the back
I'm undecided
The amount of times a day I say "fine, let me put on pants" is quite high
Give me a reason to take off my pants, please
Also have you RTd my pinned tweet yet? Help a girl out here!
I'll never understand why clients use fake names
You're getting your dick sucked not infiltrating the KGB
Hot tip: it's always obvious & I didn't care about your name until you made it a thing
I'm sure people calling you a different name in your messages isn't sus at all either
I had the best time meeting so many fabulous people at the
@ivysociete
gala
The drinks flowed a little too freely for me to meet everybody, but if I missed you: Hello! Hi! You looked wonderful (truly everyone did)
I'm away and uncontactable until Saturday, lovers
I'm off on an outdoor hiking adventure!
I'll be needing a pedicure and a massage upon my return for sure
Thoughts & prayers for my poor body in the meantime 😅
Today marks 10 classes of pilates in 10 days
For someone who is pretty terrible at consistency, this is an achievement for me!
Should I celebrate by buying myself an updated summer workout wardrobe?
Please say yes, I need shorter pants now, it's getting hot 😂
What is everyone using for their links/landing pages now?
I don't trust linktree anymore
I had a list of SW friendly pages but have lost it
Pic for attention!
Ta x
Canberra gents, if you haven't booked yet please do so 😊
It's been so long since I've been & if you want me back, book now or forever hold your peace
Also I'll be making content while there so if any workers would like to collab let me know!
I'm having the weekend off before I head to Gladstone
I have the smallest window of Brisbane availability on Wednesday & Thursday, then I'm off to Townsville!
Back to regular availability when I'm home!
Thanks to a special someone for buying items off my wishlist, including the most fabulous dress I had coveted for the Gala!
I can't wait for y'all to see it!
Truly grateful 🥰
I may have just gotten home, but I've booked tours already!
💫August Tours💫
Alice Springs: Tues 13th - Thurs 15th
Adelaide: Fri 16th
Port Lincoln: Sat 17th - Sun 18th
(Only 2 spots left)
September tours are in planning stages, so if you want me somewhere, let me know!
It's my birthday!
Thank you for all the lovely messages & thoughtful gifts so far 🥰
Feel free to send birthday love via beemit: TrashPandaIRL
I'm off to get pampered at the salon!
I only have Thursday availability left this week in Brissie
New tour to announce though!
August 2023
LAUNCESTON Wed 2nd - Fri 4th
HOBART Sat 5th & Sun 6th
Get booking!
Find my contact details on my link I'm bio x
I should exercise more
Not because it's a good thing to do for myself or because cardio is important for heart health
But because I look really cute in athletic wear
Agree?
It's my birthday in 2 weeks!
I hadn't even started my birthday blitz where I constantly remind you all of this auspicious occasion, & a lovely soul has already purchased items off my wishlist
They wanted to make sure they arrived on time 😭
Thank you L, I'm so grateful!
What makes you feel like a bad Sex Worker on the Internet™️?
I'll go first: I don't like oysters
I'M SORRY THEY ARE GROSS TO ME
I'll never be a fine dining hooker apparently 😭😂
I think something has gone a little awry with my phone & receiving messages because people are referring to things I've never received
Has anyone else had issues recently?
If I haven't replied feel free to try again!
There's a chance I never actually got it in the first place
Just a timely reminder that I don't see Punter Planet members
I don't want any part of that misogynistic cesspool that actively puts workers in danger
If you participate in those forums, you need to seek therapy, not a sex worker
Sorry for the unsexy announcement but I’ve been struck down w/ gastro. It's not the worst virus going around *cough covid* but it's certainly not been fun
I've to be clear for 48 hrs before I'm safe to mingle & that's not today 😭
Send hydration supplies via beemit TrashPandaIRL
Well I drove 6 hours in the rain, but Gladstone, I've made it!
In other good news, I'm so close to hitting 50 subscribers on my onlyfans after just 2 days 🥰
I was so worried about starting that I forgot how much I love content creation
But I'm feeling the love other there!
Remembering the last overnight I had 🥰
It's been way too long since someone whisked me away for a night of great food, banter and getting all snuggled up in bed together
A single spot left tomorrow in Melbourne!
I'm having the absolute best time so far 🥰
Now to find some coffee.
Then I'm going to tell my Melbourne friends "I don't know I feel like I've had better in Brisbane" just to sow a little chaos
BRISBANE
You have tomorrow only to see me before I'm off to Melbourne
I'll be back on Saturday though, don't panic
MELBOURNE
I have 2 spots only on the 13th & 14th
Find details here;
Your gal is busy, so get booking x
So grateful for my lovely clients 💓
I'm attending a concert I am SO excited for now thanks to a longtime reg
The $$ I've spent on concerts, musicals & movies lately has been eye watering but I'd rather have the experiences than not
Giftcards for these are always appreciated!
Another glorious Sunday bumday!
Melbourne I'm coming for you on Wednesday & I have zero prebookings 😬
I wanted time to explore but that's a little excessive!
Get booking 🍑