squibs || shtwt Profile Banner
squibs || shtwt Profile
squibs || shtwt

@Squibbolic

392
Followers
209
Following
435
Media
4,518
Statuses

¹⁸ he/him ☆ ED recovery 01/09/23 I don't want ² live in a hole anymore 》 ♡× 》

-- ☆ ² the stray dogs;
Joined February 2023
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
2 years
@MarkJones753 Mark we love you, but for the love of good put socks on those dogs are BARKING
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
> --- ♡ This or That (Food Poll) [Cals don't count]
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
8 months
I like the meanspo version of recovtwt where it's rlly brutally honest & doesn't fuck around abt recovery. Everytime I'm slacking and wanting to go back to romanticise my own illness for comfort one of the recovery meanspo tweets come up and I'm immediately humbled back to eating
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
22 days
psych ward room tour
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
8 months
I love ppl who eat a lot, not in a binge eating way but more they eat BIG well meals. Have a healthy relationship with food, aren't embarrassed going for seconds and wordlessly will grab you seconds if they notice u WANT to but feel embarrassed to
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
20 days
new bandage uhhh dazai cosplay??
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
21 days
can ppl pls message/comment whatever please. I just need to feel like ppl r here, im avoiding my family bc they found my blood rags/blades/alcohol and my friends are angry at me. im on so many meds rn but can't stop shaking
@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
22 days
psych ward room tour
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
2 years
i want more edtwt + shtwt moots !! I'm squibs, a transman and my acc will always be chill with LGBTQ. We don't fuck wit fatphobes here, nor uncensored sh ,, I'm pretty active & join gcs often, as well as repost threads 24/7 !! ♡ / ↻ ! 4 moots
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
22 days
she found my sh/suicidal stock drawer I feel sick. im scared about being discharged home
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
junkorexic workout idea
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
9 months
starving your body won't make you like yourself
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
☆°• This or That shit I'd DEVOUR edition cals don't count ×××
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
9 months
I never bought the 'there is no skinny enough' bs. I thought okay but when im literally skinny I'll stop? that easy? 55kg turned to 50, then to 45 and 40. Then finally 35kg. there really isn't any skinny enough when you have an ED. it's lying to you
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
2 years
Help why does eating a normal, average amount of food feel like binging rn. like fuck, I just had one piece of chocolate and half of an all veggie subway footlong and sitting here wanting to eat the other half. Feeling guilty and about to cry like it would be a Binge??
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
2 years
im actually not mentally ill !! i have been off my antidepressants for a year and i am great 👍 (I have lost 17kg, showers sting again, I now have an ed and avidly use twitter) live love laugh, healing 💖
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
@zuzaskcalzz genuinely how does weight loss not turn into disordered eating for everyone,, what. like counting cals? working out? seeing weight loss? how does that NOT turn disordered for people?
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
9 months
@omadluvr since being in recovery and my ED now being openly known about by close friends and family– it's 100% treated like a taboo topic, its misunderstood, it makes other people 'uncomfortable' or immediately discredit it as- 'just eat?' 'well you're not THAT skinny' and comparing their
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
my phone is being taken wish me luck, I'm pretty scared rn. ODs not fun, EDs not fun. I hope I'm gonna be okay.
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
27 days
HELLLO?????
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
@nocalbbz my naturally bmi 15 friend eating mcdonalds hot cakes + frappe in the morning while I was 3 days fasting with a black coffee trying not to cry. God it's so emotionally triggering
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
8 months
does anyone else have this constant feeling of eating wrong? like, I feel as though if I don't eat 'healthy' enough it's wrong but if I don't eat 'junk' it's wrong. I can't eat TOO little or else it's wrong, but I can't eat TOO much or I've done something bad.
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
21 days
while the nurse patched up my forearm, she asked if I'd used steri strips before. I said yes and showed the 4 specific small but puffy ones and she looked at my arm n just "what have you done to yourself?" I feel sick in the stomach
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
28 days
I need to like, go to an abandoned place or just the local beach/cliff at night and have a cut sesh out there. Im sorry but itd feel so good to cut in the cold air out in the open with no one around 😭
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
24 days
how do u guys feel abt razor blade jewelry/accessories ppl wear
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
26 days
HELP WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
@popkalss the way I quit smoking was literally from a really bad purge where my throat was so fucked up, took a month to heal and I physically couldn't smoke 😭 ty purging for making me quit cigs incidentally
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
9 months
I want one of those "Who can eat the most amount of [food] in record time" competitions, but its all recovering anorexics in the extreme hunger part of recovery
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
@tearsduringday I'm bmi 17, def look higher but it's insane to me how family members will call me too skinny & make me weigh myself while on edtwt I'm mid at best
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
8 months
recoverytwt genuinely makes me feel less insane, like irl if I told people the shit I did when malnourished or initial recovery ppl would judge me so bad. but on here y'all rlly get it
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
13 days
psych ward bandages
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
how the hell y'all getting weed (im autistic & simply do not 'know a guy' nor can communicate normally) ⁉️⁉️
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
junkorexic vs orthorexic
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
19 days
another patient spat out his cereal when he saw the rest of my scarred arm? its bizarre to me bc on shtwt my scars are basically nothing I view them as embarassing. then the nurse going 'oh what have you done to yourself' I am overwhelmed. idk how bad I look
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
8 months
tw size mentions why is sizing so dumb, sometimes a size 8 is loose on me and sometimes size 10 is a little snug 😭? I don't know if it's hip ratio being different or what
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
8 months
anyone else in recovery a little embarrassed about how quickly they were weight restored? like I was deadass very underweight back to bmi 21 in like...3-4 months
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
27 days
help why r there so many tiktoks abt ppl finding zombietwt 'worst thing that has ever happened to me-' girl how good is ur life that this is traumatising.
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
@siyuniee mcdonalds told me I needed to dye my hair back to a natural colour & take out all my piercings 💀 like cmon... lower your standards mcdonalds please
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
23 days
how recovering from anorexia n getting of edtwt just to go to shtwt feels
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
8 months
recovery moots if u relapse (but don't continue recovery, and start posting abt ed stuff again) pls unmoot me, ily but ion need that on my feed 😭
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
21 days
not it leaking so early
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
5 months
everytime I see people spreading the "I got weight restored and now I'm worse mentally I shouldn't have recovered!" fear mongering I want to put a bullet in my head. yes, it sucks to gain weight with an eating disorder. but none of us were BETTER before. at least we aren't-
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
food poll ! 🇦🇺 edition [ + bonus cravings of my own ]
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
5 months
@plu5hm0ld this !! I enjoyed looking sick, but even then I cannot even explain how guilty and gut wrenching it feels when you realise you're getting looks of disgust, discomfort and stuff. It was horrible to realise existing in a room was making others uneasy.
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
@0ppilum no because the dysphoria of weight carrying itself on my body in a triangle rather than dorito makes me homicidal
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
5 months
old mini comic I drew abt my first day at ED outpatient therapy at CAHMS. it might be triggering since I took my weight gain badly and was spiteful pt 1
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
2 years
why is purging so hard like dawg I be gagging for 10 minutes and only get 2 chunks of food up n saliva?? mfs out here throw up whole meals in 5 minutes tf I doing wrong edtwt purge tutorial when 😭
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
9 months
the hardest part of weight restoration for me was letting go of the 'androgyny' I felt I had from being skinny to the point of no curves. I feel like trans spaces rlly need to talk about the EDs and stereotypes of skinny people being the only way for androgyny-
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
how tf does burning urself work do y'all just straightup use a lighter, or heat something with a lighter to then use ?
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
@staarru I'm so freaked out by going deeper than styro, especially since I'd probably have to go for a second cut into the styro to hit beans. cannot physically bring myself to cut the open styros without gagging. I hate double cutting
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
9 months
does anyone do 360°'s ? like 3-4 months ago I was in hospital for a su!cide attempt and bmi 14, now I'm bmi 21 & just watching doctor who. same with when I was smoking cigs every night at a park suddenly for a month then quit cold Turkey. I speedrun shit fr
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
8 months
tbh I have no pity really for the recovery counts that actively bodycheck and post their cal counts. Or refuse to accept that recovery IS painful, physically and emotionally like ofc it's gonna feel bad. if you want to recover, you CAN recover but you have to DO it. This is-
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
8 months
I actually hate edtwt users that purposefully interact with recovery accounts to trigger them. When I was on edtwt I wouldn't have stooped that low even with ana brain fog like what the fuck is wrong with u
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
6 months
one thing I'm rlly proud of myself for is being back in a situation where I'm out of the house from 6am till 5pm with buses and education. Where I could easily relapse into an ED again with lies, ease, loss of appetite from studying as well as handling food in hospitality. but-
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
2 years
*ೃ༄ intro !! ﹌﹌﹌ i am squibs ! > 17y/o sw was 65kg last year in august / 145lbs / cw is 49-50kg as of January / 108-110lbs / >i like Goth n punk music, fashion, games n comics ﹌﹌﹌ × my acc is sh/ed focused '*•.¸♡ INT if wanna moot ♡¸.•*'
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
7 months
WHY IS DATING SO CONFUSING?? I'm allowed to go on dates with multiple people? but like how long for? do they all expect/know I'm going on dates with other people? I am too autistic to understand these rules ppl keep explaining to me
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
11 months
I actually ate something I baked for the first time oh my god I am actually such a good baker those cinnamon scrolls went hard weirdly healing, got into baking deep into my ED & remember giving it all to other people all the time when I wanted the baked goods so badly I used-
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
8 months
I am trying to view recovery as respecting my body. I do not harm it through starving, purging, cutting or wtv. I am feeding it, hydrating it and so on. I am 12 days clean from self harm + getting close to 6 months in ED recovery !
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
wish me luck, I should get my phone back when my family can come back tomorrow. I'll update u guys on my liver situation from the od
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
2 years
i want the great british bake off except it's a bunch of anorexics trying to make the most lowcal Ana deserts from scratch
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
5 months
this account in a nutshell
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
18 days
meds during ward has been fucked. changing from seroquel bc it's made my eyes like this. hoping it clears up in 24hrs. I hate meds, I hate being experimented on with them. I just want therapy. please.
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
edtwt stop shoplifting my breezer store I fuckifn hate yiu
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
@50SCNDS I used to eat a whole domino's cheese pizza with cheese stuffed crust on my own, in one sitting. then eat two garlic breads from domino's after with a soda then wonder why I was fat
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
2 years
i wanna buy weed, but idk any stoner's, it's illegal and I have the social skills you'd expect from a guy with autism. tf u mean I gotta have social interaction to find a dealer and BUY weed,,,
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
me when I cry over being fat and swear to never ever eat again then ransack the entire kitchen in a hunger craze an hour later:
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
2 years
the next time a cis man calls between my legs a 'boy-pussy' I'm going to deepthroat a shotgun infront of him and blow my brains out on the spot
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
6 months
@arumikii me when I was tweeting from hospital during treatment b4 getting my phone taken
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
@changkyuncals me physically restraining myself from omading when it hits 12:01
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
@calicocatmeow ok I gen used to be so confused but literally all u gotta do is prep and take yr time? like, dont start out fingering take like 15 mins getting prepped than another 10 or so when trying to use 1 or 2 fingers 😭. Deadass just read up a bit but fr it's just prep work
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
9 months
@omadluvr food intake to yours. I don't even know why, but people make someone else's ED about themself. And also only 'fret' when someone's visibly underweight, but even then it's more in a frustrated 'stop doing this' way. Edtwt is genuinely one of the only places people understand.
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
oh my god I hate ppl who try n act all 'cool' to cvtters like said irl to me in the EXACT voice you'd imagine by a cis-man who had a 'femboy' type: "Cat scratches heh, I've seen my fair share of those 🤓 " infront of all my friends. when he saw my thighs bcmy dress rode up
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
11 months
I really want to get into fitness but like, not in the ED way this time. More, I'm recovering into a healthier body. But I don't want it to be my old one (eating trash & hating exercise) but instead one that eats healthy (but not restricted) and exercises for enjoyment-
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
@psychwardkid no bc when I get weighed at the hospital I'm always stuck between prepping to weigh in heavier by drinking a lot & layers of clothes. versus fasting for the few days before, and light clothes to see my proper weight on an accurate scale 4 validation
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
5 months
btw gaining weight quickly in recovery doesn't mean you aren't sick. I went from bmi 14 back to bmi 20s within like 3 months I was really insecure abt it, but now going up to 8 months in recovery idc
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
@aceda1yo the ana brain really showing w this tweet
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
I'm discharged and ok
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
9 months
ITS MY BIRTHDAY IN A FEW HOURS,, edtwt and recovtwt mutuals..when I post that its officially my 18th, take care of urself and eat something nice !
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
8 months
I kinda wanna post selfies and oufits checks on here in a 'YOO!! RECOVERY ME IS STILL HOT 🔥' way. But I'm also like? OK what if it comes off as body check-y or edtwt puts me on a inspo thread to not recover bc I'm in a healthy bmi n not all bones now 😭
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
3 months
btw recoverytwt weight gain happening fast isn't a bad or abnormal thing. I feel like we always see the 'slow gains' too much. I've gained 20kg in recovery, and that was in under 4 months.
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
8 months
I keep having to block recovery accounts which have their 'stats' and bmi in their bio. like cmon.
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
8 months
I cannot emphasise this enough but I really recommend making a pinterest board of people with healthy similar bodies to you or a similar shape. I have one of both cis/trans men that aren't scrawny and whenever I'm dysphoric I look through it for comfort with my own body
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
the ONE time this year I don't dress femininely at college, wearing pants a sweater I get fucking deadnamed & misgendered? I'm a transman too??? I am registered under my preferred name, have been for 2 yrs. I swear to fucking god atp ppl purposely misgender me when I try 2 pass
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
2 years
i never get bottom dysphoria until like, randomly I'll remember I can't nut in someone and the amount of dysphoria is insane
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
@bunnybie13 100%, then when I eat a full meal for once I immediately fall asleep within an hour. it's weird
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
*ೃ༄ intro rmk !! ﹌﹌﹌ i am squibs ! 17y/o sw was 23.9 BMI he/him aussie i like Goth music, fashion, games,DC & horror try to int as much as i can ☆ ﹌﹌﹌ × my acc is sh/ed focused (SH is ALWAYS censored) '*•.¸♡ INT if wanna moot ♡¸.•*'
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
1 year
@brerexia no same, I think it'd be cool to have a close knit friend group with ed friends where we could ft n send stupid photos of our days like normal but also have our disordered stuff
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
2 years
i give myself second-hand embarassment when im purging bc of how much I drool like HELP?? ITS SO GROSS WTF R U DOINNN...slobbering like a dog nasty ass just puke cutely..
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
8 months
I think I might need for others to give me food again. Is anyone else like that? I can eat food, but when im in a weird mood I can't physically get or prepare it myself. I only feel okay eating when it's given to me
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
5 months
@everyponie me when I controversially call myself a butch twink bc that's my gender explained
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
19 days
guys can I be real the impending unknown fear of how long im actually staying in this psych ward is hitting
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
6 months
Can I be honest and say skinny ppl trigger tf out of me? it isn't their fault, and I acknowledge that entirely. But I think it's ofc the obvious comparisons I do between us but also bc it makes me remember when I'd be cold all the time. My body aching and everything constantly-
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@Squibbolic
squibs || shtwt
8 months
what's your guys favourite chocolate? I think I'm going to make a list of ones to have over the next few weeks to obliterate that anxiety
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