Psychotherapist, Company Builder, and Author | Founder:
@PotestaHoldings
and Social Capital Foundation, Co-Founder: Midsommer Psychotherapy and
@SearchOrgPsych
I can’t stop thinking about this crazy experiment.
In 1961, volunteers were asked to administer electric shocks to learners if they gave an incorrect answer.
What happened next will blow your mind.
The Milgram Experiment:
The implications were disturbing:
• Under certain conditions, people will commit heinous acts if instructed by an authority
• The human capacity for cruelty is not limited to a few "evil" individuals
• Situational forces can override personal conscience and moral judgment
The answer lies in the power of authority and the human instinct to obey.
Under pressure from authority, people can do awful things they would never do on their own.
Unjust authority figures can prompt immoral, unethical, and harmful actions from their subordinates.
They obeyed even as the learner fell silent, suggesting they were unconscious or worse.
It was unbelievable.
Ordinary people were willing to inflict unimaginable pain at the command of an authority figure.
Milgram's findings sent shockwaves through the scientific community and society at large.
They offered a sobering explanation for atrocities like genocide.
How could ordinary citizens participate in murder?
Leadership is not about blind obedience, but about inspiring people to do what's right.
Foster a culture where employees feel safe to question directives that seem unethical or unreasonable.
Reward moral courage, not just compliance.
Groupthink and blind obedience can override individual moral objections.
Employees may suppress their misgivings to avoid risking their jobs or facing repercussions for disobedience.
The implications for today's workplace are profound.
Employees may carry out unethical directives from their bosses due to the power dynamics and pressure to obey.
If your team fears repercussions for speaking up, you're creating a culture ripe for abuse of power.
Cultivate a workplace where open dialogue is encouraged.
The strongest teams are those where people have minds of their own.
The Milgram Experiment is a cautionary tale for our times.
In an era of corporate scandals and ethical lapses, it’s more relevant than ever.
It speaks to the importance of independent critical thinking.
The first step is realizing loneliness comes from within, not without.
You can enjoy solitude when you're not focused on negative thoughts.
In fact, many people cherish their alone time.
The key is learning what beliefs are causing your suffering.
The majority of participants in Milgram’s experiment likely did not believe in applying such fatal shocks.
Yet social pressure and the assumed legitimacy of the experimenter convinced them to do so.
Even at the expense of the learner.
But it's not just about personal responsibility.
The experiment also highlights the need for checks and balances on authority.
Organizations must empower employees to question directives that go against their conscience.
The hard truth? No one else can make you happy.
External validation and companionship feel good, but it's fleeting.
Friends and lovers can't delete the negative thoughts that cause loneliness.
In relationships, worries and insecurities still arise.
The majority of participants complied.
A staggering 65% continued all the way to the highest 450-volt level.
For context, 100 volts is enough to shut down the human body.
But despite the learner's agonized screams, the experimenter—dressed in a lab coat—insisted that the teacher continue with the shocks.
"The experiment requires that you continue. It is absolutely essential that you continue."
How did that turn out?
But there was one more twist.
None of the learners were volunteers—they were paid actors. Plus, the shocks weren't real.
However, none of the teachers knew any of this.
As the shocks increased, the learner faked pain and pleaded for the shocks to stop.
As a leader, your words and directives carry immense weight.
Your team may comply with your orders even when it goes against their moral code, simply because of your authority.
This power must be wielded with great care and responsibility.
Slash your turnover costs by 50% in 2024. Master these 4 psychological theories on motivation and supercharge your team's engagement:
Employee motivation is the engine of organizational success.
Consider the Enron and Theranos scandals.
In both cases, many employees carried out or turned a blind eye to corporate malpractices at the request of their superiors.
The pressure to conform and obey authority figures can be immense.
The setup was simple yet genius.
Volunteers were divided into two groups and placed in different rooms: Teachers and learners.
Teachers were tasked with asking questions while learners were to answer them.
But that’s not all.
The real catch came when learners got answers wrong.
Teachers were ordered to administer electric shocks to learners for giving incorrect answers.
With each mistake, the voltage increased—starting at 15 volts before topping out at 450 volts.
Self-Inquiry
To break free from loneliness, get curious about your inner world.
When loneliness arises, ask:
"What story am I telling myself right now?"
"Is it actually true I need X to be happy?"
"Can I be content in this moment, as I am?"
Your thoughts create your reality.
Find Your Tribe Patiently
Find groups that share your interests and values.
It's easier to connect when you have things in common. But don't try to force yourself to fit in where it doesn't feel aligned.
Keep exploring until you find a community that lights you up. Be patient.
Talk It Out
Sharing your struggles is one of the most powerful antidotes to loneliness.
Realize you're not alone in feeling lonely. Everyone experiences it sometimes—it's part of being human.
But opening up to someone can break the cycle.
We're taught that friends and romantic partners are the key to happiness.
So we feel empty and lacking without them.
We become anxious about the future, worrying we'll never find "our people."
This leads to inauthenticity as we try to be who we think others want.
Redefine Connection
We've been sold a narrow vision of connection. It isn’t limited to heart-to-hearts with a soulmate.
It can be a silent exchange of smiles with a stranger or a inside joke with yourself
Expand your definition. Appreciate the micro-connections in each moment.
Embrace Solitude
Learning to enjoy your own company is a superpower.
Solitude is not the same as loneliness. The former is self-imposed while the latter isn’t.
Practice spending quality time with yourself. Discover the joy of being by yourself.
First, let's define stress.
Stress is your body's response to demands or threats, whether emotional, physical, or disease-related.
It can be caused by emotional distress, physical challenges, or even diseases.
Explore the Root Causes
For some, loneliness is tied to deeper issues like low self-esteem or social anxiety.
There's no shame in this.
Working with a therapist can help identify underlying causes. You can build skills and confidence to overcome those barriers.
Serve Others
One of the best ways to get out of your head is to help someone else
Volunteer in your community. Lend a listening ear. Perform acts of kindness.
Service connects us to our shared humanity and sense of purpose. Contribute to something greater than yourself.
@saraduit
@AlloyAutomation
Congrats
@saraduit
- always a desire to niche but industry agnostic is something we did as well a few years back and it’s not detracted at all.
Steal this toxic forces cheat sheet!
3 toxic forces that are sabotaging your success:
You might not even realize they're there – but they're holding you back big time.
Here’s a quick cheat sheet to help you identify and combat them:
Regular exercise is another powerful stress-buster.
Physical activity helps to reduce levels of stress hormones and release endorphins that boost mood
Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week.
Create Non-Human Bonds
Connection doesn't only come through people.
Caring for a pet or plant can provide a deep sense of meaning and reduce loneliness.
Animals offer unconditional love and companionship. Tending to other living things puts us in touch with the web of life.
Before we continue…
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Now, let’s dive back in:
Hans Selye, the pioneer of stress research, noticed that sick patients had similar symptoms regardless of their disease.
He wondered if "being sick" was a sickness in itself.
This led to his groundbreaking discovery of the General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS).
The bulk of the pain of loneliness is the desperate grasping for solid ground.
We think if we can find the perfect person or group, the void inside will finally be filled.
None of that is true.
Believe you are worthy of connection, exactly as you are.
Make The First Move
Extending care and compassion can go a long way.
If you sense someone is lonely, reach out. Start a conversation. Ask how they're doing.
We can create a culture of connection through small, intentional acts. It starts with being the friend we wish to have.
According to Gallup, CEOs with high delegation skills experienced a 33% higher growth rate and generated 33% higher revenue than CEOs with low delegation skills.
The problem is many executives struggle with delegation.
Lose Yourself in Your Passions
What lights you up? What excites you?
Explore new hobbies and interests.
Engaging in flow activities makes time pass quickly. And in doing so, you may find others who share your passions.
30% of entrepreneurs and executives have ADHD, dyslexia, or both.
Here’s how to develop neurodiverse people to become an invaluable asset in your organization:
The first step is to identify and address the root causes of your stress.
This might involve:
• Improving communication in relationships
• Developing better time management skills
• Setting realistic goals and expectations
Are you being critical and harsh? Are you dwelling on what's ‘wrong’ with you?
Practice talking to yourself like you would a good friend: "It's okay to be where you are. Finding a connection takes time. Keep going."
Question whether your expectations are realistic or even desirable for you.
Abandon social standards. Embrace your unique needs and definition of fulfillment.
Hot take: Studying improv is a powerful tool for learning how to handle rejection.
A Finnish study led by Sirke Seppänen studied the psychophysical markers of people in a job interview and during a 25-minute improv session.
When we experience stress, our sympathetic nervous system kicks into high gear.
This triggers the release of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol
These hormones prepare our body for "fight or flight."
Examine Your Expectations
We're bombarded with opinions about what the ideal social life should look like.
It's easy to feel like we're failing or missing out.
Effective time management can go a long way in reducing stress. You can:
• Prioritize tasks based on importance
• Break large projects into smaller, manageable steps
• Delegate or say no when necessary
Feeling in control of your time can lower stress levels.
Next, focus on relaxation techniques to calm your body's stress response.
This can include:
• Deep breathing exercises
• Meditation or yoga
• Engaging in hobbies or activities you enjoy
Taking breaks to relax is crucial for managing stress.
Optimism is another powerful weapon against stress.
Focus on what you can control, rather than worrying about things you can't.
Practice gratitude by regularly reflecting on the positive aspects of your life.
Cultivate a hopeful outlook for the future.
Healing from loneliness is a non-linear journey. It’ll be one of the hardest things you ever have to do.
Be patient and gentle with yourself.
Know you are not alone, and that this too, will pass.
Even cortisol which is widely perceived as negative, has short-term benefits.
It reduces inflammation in the body and helps heal wounds.
However, chronic stress is a different story.
According to the CDC, 49,000 people died by suicide in 2022...in the US alone. Men were 4x likely to commit suicide than women. Here are 2 crucial warning signs people keep missing:
I wrote a book to teach you how to manage change and maintain performance in the workplace.
My consulting clients have used these gems to:
• Become better at utilizing their control styles
• Be adaptive to change
• Build high-performing teams
I’m giving PDF copies of my book
Ineffective leadership is the result of rigidity in your control style.
Authoritarian leaders default to a state of over-control.
They are hyper-motivated by the desire to perform efficiently and successfully.
When our body is constantly flooded with stress hormones, it takes a toll on our health. Chronic stress can lead to:
• High blood pressure
• Anxiety and depression
• Brain damage
So, how can we apply Selye's research to beat stress in our own lives?
STOP creating your own anxiety. Steal this Anxiety Circles cheat sheet to see where you fall (and where you should be):
There are 2 types of anxiety circles:
• Common
• Ideal
But not all stress is bad.
Acute stress can actually be beneficial:
• Increases alertness and memory
• Mobilizes the immune system
• Provides energy through adrenaline
A healthy lifestyle is also key for managing stress
It means:
• Eating a balanced, nutritious diet
• Staying hydrated
• Limiting caffeine and alcohol intake
• Getting enough quality sleep
When your body is well-nourished and rested, you're better equipped to handle stress.
I created a ton of resources to help you use psychology as a superweapon to succeed at work.
These have helped 100s of top executives:
• Become better leaders
• Manage their anxiety
• Make better decisions
Beating stress is a lifelong journey, not a one-time activity.
It requires ongoing effort and commitment.
In the words of Selye, “It’s not stress that kills us but our reaction to it.”
GAS has three stages:
1. Alarm reaction
2. Adaptation
3. Exhaustion
Selye discovered that stress causes adrenal enlargement, ulcers in the digestive tract, and shrinking of lymph nodes.
The
#1
problem in your workplace:
Lack of alignment.
Alignment under a shared goal between 2 parties starts with each person stating their goal and explaining the why behind it.
The why helps establish the benefits each person feels their goal achieves.
Taking regular breaks is also crucial for keeping stress at bay.
Make time for activities that you find relaxing or enjoyable.
This could be for a walk or reading a good book.
Prioritizing leisure time helps you recharge and return to stressors with a fresh perspective.
@FitFounder
Completely agree
@FitFounder
-I have a psychotherapy caseload and one of the things I notice with some of the most highly anxious individuals is their baseline like walking and getting outside is almost completely neglected. It double down, it’s often looked at as a “too easy” of
Stress may be inevitable, but it doesn't have to control your life.
By understanding stress theory and implementing effective coping strategies, you can beat stress and always be tapped into your full potential.
Zimbardo wanted to investigate the psychological effects of perceived power.
So, he set up a mock prison in the basement of the Stanford psychology building.
24 students were recruited and randomly assigned to be either "Guards" or "Prisoners."
Workplace stress costs US businesses $300 BILLION every year. 7 theories on how to cure it (hint, it’s not more vacations):
Workplace stress is a modern-day plague.
48% of employees say their stress levels at work are high or extremely high.
The best cure for high employee turnover is NOT higher salaries (or more vacations). Instead, adopt these 5 strategies to decrease your turnover by up to 50%:
Retention is critical.
Over 5 million people die from stress every year. An even higher number of physical and mental breakdowns are caused by it.
But the truth is, you cannot build a meaningful life without experiencing stress.
That’s why it’s important to know how to counter it.
In 1971, psychologist Philip Zimbardo conducted a controversial study at Stanford University.
Little did he know, it would become one of the most infamous experiments in the history of psychology.
Disengaged employees cost the U.S. $450-$500 BILLION in lost productivity. The first step to solving this problem is awareness. Find out if your employees are disengaged with these 3 questions:
The Stanford Prison Experiment is a cautionary tale about the dangers of unchecked power.
It shows how easily people can abuse their authority when given free rein.
Even "good" people can succumb to toxic behavior in the wrong environment.
Before long, the participants internalized their roles.
At first, the prisoners rebelled against authority.
But the guards quickly fought back. They used fire extinguishers, stripped the prisoners naked, and threw them in solitary confinement.
However, it didn’t end there.
@MindTendencies2
We so often project our own insecurities so much that when we're faced with someone with a high level of EQ and accountability... we can still get defensive. Food for thought.
As the guards exerted more control, the prisoners started to break down.
They became anxious and emotionally distressed. Some even had to be removed from the study early due to psychological trauma.
It was obvious the guards were getting carried away with their newfound power.
Before we continue…
Join 500+ company builders, psychologists, and coaches/consultants for our weekly newsletter.
Sign up here:
Now, let’s dive back in:
Prisoners were arrested at their homes and brought to the mock prison.
They were stripped, searched, and given prison uniforms
Guards were also given uniforms, whistles, and handcuffs. They were told to do anything to keep the peace, except use violence.
How did that turn out?
Furthermore, there were no differences in activity between the interview and the improv session.
This suggests the brain and body respond the same to rejection, whether real or fictional.
Improv simulates real life but is entirely fictional.
Another key factor in the guards' behavior was deindividuation.
The uniforms and mirrored sunglasses made the guards feel anonymous.
They no longer felt like they were acting as individuals, but as parts of a system.
Eventually, the power dynamics shifted completely with the prisoners becoming passive and depressed.
But even Zimbardo himself who acted as the prison warden, got caught up in his role.
He refused to intervene.
The interviewer purposefully devalued what they said about themselves by interrupting them, frowning, and looking bored.
There were no differences in psychophysical activity between the 2 groups.