Sorrow-scopes @Sorrowscopes Twitter profile

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Sorrow-scopes

@Sorrowscopes

2 years

Save money this Valentine's Day by being unlovable

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3 years

Save money this Valentine's Day by being unlovable

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4 years

Save money this Valentine's Day by being unlovable

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5 years

Which essential oil heals your childhood trauma

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5 years

Sex is great but have you ever made peace with the terror of being alive

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5 years

I am interested in: ⚪️ men ⚪️ women 🔘 joining a cult & vanishing in the woods

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5 years

Kinda rude that the only two options are existence & death

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5 years

Save money this Valentine's Day by being unlovable

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4 years

I am interested in: ⚪️ men ⚪️ women 🔘 making peace with the terror of being alive

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4 years

Kinda rude that the only two options are existence & death

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4 years

If you drink 8 glasses of water a day you'll be depressed but fully hydrated

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4 years

Alexa, when does it get easier

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5 years

Hot girl summer is over, it's witch girl autumn

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5 years

I am interested in: ⚪️ men ⚪️ women 🔘 the cold embrace of death

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3 years

Am I struggling? Yes. But do I have faith that things will get better? No

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3 years

Sorry I didn't respond to your text, I’ve been busy ignoring reality to keep myself from going insane

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3 years

Make peace with the terror of being alive

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3 years

Taurus: You will learn to love again. And again. And again. And again. This is your eternal curse.

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5 months

Save money this Valentine's Day by being unlovable

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5 years

Alexa, show me how to love without the fear of loss

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4 years

If you eat well and exercise you will die healthy

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4 years

Make peace with the terror of being alive

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4 years

Sorry for not texting you back earlier, life is meaningless and everyone dies

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3 years

Taurus: This is the month to contact someone from your distant past to tell them you don’t forgive them and never will for as long as you live.

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5 years

Kinda rude that we’re stuck with the same brain until we die

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5 years

So I guess we’re just tired all the time and then we die

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5 years

Yeah sex is great but what does it feel like

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2 years

Taurus: You'll find either love or wealth this week, but not both. So choose wisely you poor, lonely bastard.

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5 years

Alexa, release me from this prison of consciousness

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3 years

Taurus: It's a good time to travel and grow the fuck up.

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4 years

The stars are sick of your shit.

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4 years

Live, laugh, scream into the void

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4 years

Taurus: It’s a new year full of human interactions to avoid.

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4 years

I am seeking: ⚪️ men ⚪️ women 🔘 that carefree feeling from childhood

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3 years

Taurus: Don't let romantic feelings get in the way of achieving world domination.

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3 years

Taurus: You’re trying your best, which makes your situation even more tragic.

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1 year

Save money this Valentine's Day by being unlovable

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2 years

My five year plan is to curl up in a ball and die

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3 years

Make peace with the terror of being alive

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3 years

Taurus: It’s time to leave your past failures behind you and embark on new failures.

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2 years

Taurus: A transformation is coming. But not like, butterfly. More like werewolf.

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2 years

By age 25, you should be clinically depressed

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6 years

UPDATE: Things are still terrible

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4 years

Live, laugh, attack and dethrone God

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4 years

Update: things are still terrible

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3 years

Capricorn: There’s no need to check your phone. Nobody wants to contact you.

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2 years

Taurus: Things are looking up! Unfortunately, that's because you're in Hell and there is no other direction to look.

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5 years

If you can’t handle me when I’m depressed, you don’t deserve me when I’m vaguely sad

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3 years

Did it hurt? When you realized that sometimes love isn't enough

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4 years

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but the universe doesn’t care about you

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5 years

I don't know who needs to hear this, but life is a cruel series of disappointments that eventually kills you

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3 years

Pisces: True Love will find you this week. It will find you and it will kill you.

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5 years

Why choose between success and happiness when you can have neither

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3 years

Some days you’re the Victorian mansion, some days you’re the ghost of a dead child

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4 years

An escape room, but for consciousness

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3 years

Taurus: Stop acting like eating all that cheese will fix your problems. You're still a mess.

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3 years

Gemini: You only get one chance at life and what a terrible mess you’re making of it.

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5 years

So I guess we just fake our way through this until we die huh

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3 years

Taurus: Seriously. What’s wrong with you?

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3 years

Gemini: You’ll find either love or wealth this week, but not both. So choose wisely you poor, lonely bastard.

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5 years

If dying is so bad why does everyone do it

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3 years

Taurus: You will experience the kind of love that only exists in movies. It will be over in 98 minutes.

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5 years

Remember wanting to be an adult lol

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4 years

Taurus: You can't always get what you want. And that's good, because you want dumb things.

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3 years

What does the moon want from us

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6 years

When you realize love isn't enough

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3 years

“Why don’t you smile more?” I’m possessed by the Devil

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4 years

Every day is a new opportunity to fuck up your life

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6 years

When you're sick but you want to look nice

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3 years

Virgo: Why bother? No really, we’re asking. Why fucking bother?

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4 years

Do one thing every day that irreversibly traumatizes you.

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3 years

Life is meaningless and everyone dies. Go ahead, have dessert.

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4 years

Life is short but at least it’s terrible

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2 years

Aries: Your week is looking up. Which isn’t hard when you’re at rock bottom.

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5 years

Who needs love when there’s books and music and the crippling realization that you will die alone

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3 years

Taurus: You will soon be free of the constant dread that haunts you. It will be replaced by an emotional numbness.

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5 years

Check out today's sorrowscopes- with 25% more sorrow!

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5 years

Live each day as if it were your last: in bed and heavily medicated

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4 years

Taurus: Diet and exercise can extend your lifespan, but do you really want more of this?

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2 years

Aries: You will have "the craziest" dream tonight. Keep it to yourself. Nobody is interested.

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4 years

Aquarius: A transformation is coming. But not like, butterfly. More like werewolf.

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4 years

Aries: Live fast, die young, and leave a deeply confusing browser history.

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3 years

In tennis love means nothing, just like it does in real life

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5 years

I don't know who needs to hear this, but we’re stranded on a hostile planet that’s orbiting a treacherous star

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5 years

Love is a chemical reaction that fades with time, but loneliness is forever

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3 years

Taurus: Your skeleton will try to escape this week. You will be powerless to stop it.

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4 years

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because your fingerprints aren’t in the database.

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6 years

Make peace with the terror of being alive

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3 years

Taurus: It may feel like the universe is out to get you, but don’t worry, you’re far too insignificant.

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4 years

Gemini: Your week is looking up. Which isn’t hard when you’re at rock bottom.

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3 years

Gemini: It’s a great week to join a cult and vanish in the woods.

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3 years

Aries: The stars hate you. Maybe try tarot or taking responsibility for your own life.

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3 years

Taurus: Like an ugly Christmas sweater, you are both a gift and a curse.

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3 years

Capricorn: Like a broken piñata, you used to be filled with sweetness but now you’re empty inside.

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3 years

Taurus: Like a star, you are also distant, gaseous, and drifting in an endless void.

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4 years

Taurus: There will be some nice presents for you under the tree this year! Sadly, the ability to become a functioning adult won’t be one of them so your life will remain a mess.

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4 years

Sagittarius: New year, new you. There is literally a new version of you out there hunting you down. Good luck!

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5 years

Life is meaningless and everyone dies. Go ahead, have dessert.

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4 years

Virgo: Your loneliness won't last forever, it will die with you.

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3 years

Taurus: If you had a chance to do it all over again, you’d make the same fucked up choices.

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