Mario Speedwagon @SilipigniMario Twitter profile

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Mario Speedwagon

4 years

I know times are tough. Maybe worse for you than the next person. I just want you to know- Mario is here for you. Via proxy. #LiftUpATweep

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

The same things that SHOULD trigger everyone. #WhatTriggersLiberals

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

1 year

@anticommie32 The original is a brilliant satire, and about as woke as is possible. I'm hoping you already knew that. 😬

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

Mainly because why the hell would I?!? #WhyImNotVotingForTrump

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

Tell him he can't share a prison cell with daddy. #TriggerDonaldTrumpJr

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

2 years

A birth certificate, driver's license, passport, and credit cards for some guy named "David Dennison." #FoundatMaralago

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

7 years

Trump is EASILY the worst president ever, and his ardent supporters are clueless morons, or outright bad people. #UnleashTheTwitterTrolls

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

Open my door for Jason #IdRather_ThanVoteForTrump

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

6 years

#DonaldTrumpsTheTypeOfGuy who can handle at LEAST 2 dicks...

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

Witless Protection #TrumpLegalTeamNicknames

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

Actually posted this pic himself. 🙄😂😂 #StupidThingsTrumpHasDone

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

2 years

Well, no bibles, that's for sure. #FoundatMaralago

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

3 years

His autobiography will hit #1 on the book sale charts! #MyPillowGuyPredictions

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

6 years

Tonight, I lost my beautiful, sweet Amy... I'm at a loss. She lived a long life, and I'll love her always. ❤😞

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

@jrgaillot @mens_sana__ The leadership in Haiti is likely much more advanced/intelligent than ours in the USA.

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

Needing new clothes because everyone in the house has already seen everything you own. #RichFolkLockdownProblems

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

I wish I could play this # game, but I'm kinda busy going through this box full of notebooks from high school. #DeepThoughtsFromHoarders

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

Give yourself a gift! #MelaniasChristmasTips

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

2 years

There just aren't enough hours in the day... #LaurenBoebertsProblems

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

Not knowing what is part of the USA, or even where they're located, or who is in charge there. #StupidThingsTrumpHasDone

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

6 years

In all seriousness, I want to applaud you for your "space force" concept. I have high hopes that they'll explore Uranus and find your head. 👍 @realDonaldTrump

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

3 years

This was me, at my coolest. 😁 #SignsYouPeakedInHighSchool (Circa 1990)

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

@tonyposnanski @IvankaTrump @realDonaldTrump That's far too kind, Tony. I couldn't pick just one...

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

Sue the Leaning Tower of Pisa for stealing his stance. #StillOnTrumpsToDoList

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

A good and respectable man. #UseTheWrongPicture

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

The Unbearable Lightness Of Being So. Damn. Stupid. #MAGAaMovie

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

#AfterTheSexIsOver , and nine months or so have passed, we'll have a dough baby to rise!

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

7 years

#TheresNothingMoreSexierThan someone that makes you forget how gorgeous they are on the outside, because of how beautiful they are inside.

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

1 year

Give her some cheese. They're fascinated by that shit. #WaysToSatisfyAWoman

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

2 years

@Ms_Xtina I wish I could. It's bizarre and, one would think, inappropriate. 😬

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

6 years

#IGaveBirthTo my beautiful dough baby! I love & knead him and call him George. ❤

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

The next "Fast & Furious" movie looks legit AF. #UseTheWrongPicture

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

#InMyCultWeHave personality.

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

6 years

One Day At A Crime #WhiteHouseSitcoms

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

State a new reason you hate Christmas on each of the 12 days! #MelaniasChristmasTips

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

7 years

Have Boys II Men sing her the breakup. They make everything sound better. #NiceWaysToDumpSomeone @danniestagteam

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

2 years

His name, spelled backward, is "nole," and everyone knows that NOLE is an acronym for "no one lays Elon." Poor fella. #ElonsProblems

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

#WhatTrumpHasTaughtUs that not all clowns wear makeup. Oh wait- never mind.

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

7 years

News Flash- left isn't right. Right isn't right. Doing what is good and what should be done for EVERYONE, is right. It can happen! 🙏

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

6 years

#WhenABlackCatCrossesMyPath I count my blessings. Black cats are great! Kiwi, and his "reaaaalllly, poppa??" look...

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

6 years

Someday My Prince Will Cum #MakeADisneySongSexy

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

@KaylaChowShow @Kica333 How would that ruin it? It would allow me, *ahem*- your date, to offer to put it back in. Lemons from lemonade and whatnot.

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

6 years

@GAKish @orangutantrolls @KirbySabey1 @StormyDaniels He might call his hand his girlfriend. 😏😂

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

6 years

#AsAKidBeingRichMeant having a Cabbage Patch Kid instead of some extra dough...😕

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

Why don't more people talk about how Columbus was actually the first person to walk on the moon? #StupidQuestionsForQAnon

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

The "D" in Disney stands for something else... #DisneyAfterMidnight

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

If you like Thighland, you should visit Budabreast. #FakeThighlandFacts

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

6 years

#MyExcuseForTypos is that I came home to find my beautiful 20 yr old cat had passed away while I was working. I can't see what I'm typing through my tears...

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

Attempt to not pay. #DontDoThisAfterSex

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

Paper cuts & lemon juice #ThingsMorePopularThanTrump

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

3 years

I woke up today to find that my beloved little boy Kiwi passed away overnight. He was only 9. I just don't understand how he can possibly be gone. I'm sure he's in a happy place where he has salmon all the time & no pesky kittens trying to love him by playing with his tail. ❤️😔

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

🎶 #InTheYearIWasBorn , there was a man who sailed to sea And he told us of his life In the land of submarines So we sailed up to the sun 'Til we found a sea of green And we lived beneath the waves In our yellow submarine...🎶

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

You think you recognize EVERYBODY. #UnusualVaccineSideEffects

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

#BeingLiberalMeans knowing you don't HAVE to like the president to love your country. 🇺🇸

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

Because there needs to be a mental age limit for the office. #WhyImNotVotingForTrump

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

I'm prepared for #WhenMomCalls . I have a list next to the phone of my recent achievements and talking points. Some of them are even real!

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

3 years

@eriecountydems @GrabberGrabber @TnxRodgers @FPWellman @laurenboebert @mtgreenee Hey- that's 2 more toes than the one brain cell they share.

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

6 years

My marriage would last forever because, y'know- love. #DumbThingsIBelieved

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

My birthday carrot cake from Mitchell's Fish Market! So darn good...😍😊👍

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

8 years

#PleaseStopTellingMe this schmuck is even remotely qualified to be the president

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

#DeepThoughtsFromJocks #NailedIt

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

Picking a pumpkin because you think he's a better option than Hillary... #HowNotToPickAPumpkin

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

2 years

His eventual White House portrait. #FoundatMaralago

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

@williamlegate @realDonaldTrump That's an amazing name for him! 👍😂😂

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

"You're my bitch" Bear #CareBearsForAdults

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

2 years

An immense number of Legos. 'Coz some kids just can't spell. #FoundatMaralago

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

6 years

@realDonaldTrump YOU had to be told to put your hand on your heart for the anthem, you moron! Stop trying to enforce your idiocy on people standing up for (or kneeling for) their rights! You have inspired me to kneel for the anthem, btw. (Because we deserve better than you, to be clear.)

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

7 years

Who would win in a fight- you or Siri? #StupidQuestionsForAlexa

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

They don't like the country they live in. #WhiteNationalistsProblems

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

6 years

Check it out, haters- pineapple on a delicious pizza! 😋😂😂

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

6 years

2 Broke Girls Getting Paid To Pee On An Old Man #WhiteHouseSitcoms

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

Dunce Dunce Revolution #TrumpedUpVideoGames

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

7 years

So damn fuckin' fragile...yo. #MyMentalHealthIn5Words @ShutUpAmanda

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

The Maths & the Grammars #DonaldTrumpsPetPeeves

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

Full-sized Mario Kart! #OnlyHappensAtWalmart

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

@dennisdiclaudio @TomiLahren Well, to be fair, even for Donnie himself she's more like a second, third, or even fourth lady.

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

2 years

A gateway to the dark home dimension of Yog Sothoth. #FoundatMaralago

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

8 years

My race is "human"... Skin color has nothing to do with that.

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

2 months

@angel_0f_deathx I call that a GOOD night on Twitter.

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

I say "hi Kiwi- love you, buddy!" #WhenABlackCatCrossesYourPath

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

3 years

Randy Rainbow! #ReplacementsForEllen Right, @RandyRainbow ?

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

Breaking the glass ceiling sounds good at first, but imagine all the cleaning up you'll have to do afterward! #MansplainWomenProblems

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

A bunch of... #DescribePoliticsIn3Words

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

6 years

#ItsOkayToBeAngryWhen a "loved one" can't stand by you in your battle against depression.

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

3 years

My friend said something I liked when I told him the news of Betty White. He said "maybe this was her final gift to us, so as not to ruin 2022." That does sound like her style. ❤️ #RIPBetty #ThankYouForBeingAFriend

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

2 years

A feeding trough filled with old hamberders. #FoundatMaralago

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

#OnThePandemicUpside , I've learned how to fold a fitted sheet.

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

Hello. I'm Donald Trump. #ThingsStupidPeopleSay

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

5 years

1. Extricate head from own ass. 2. Have a subordinate find out what "extricate" means. #OnTrumpsToDoList

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Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

4 years

@MJMcKean I'm so sad to hear of this loss for everyone. I'm sure you have amazing memories to cherish always. I've always enjoyed this pic of you guys together. Not "flattering," but a great image. All the best to you, and the death of his friends and family. 😞❤🙏