💜 12 HOUR CAPPED DONOTHON 💜
i have set some goals for us to have some fun with!
(some not so fun for me ><)
we'll be playing party games with chat and friends as well as our usual games. i hope you to see you there!
☁️
boyfriend requirements:
- is a weird little guy
- has good music taste
- funny
- can throw me around
- likes me
- a lil possessive
- a father figure
- is not a delusion (optional)
idk how anyone romanticises mental illness like i haven’t showered in 3 days, my skin is breaking out, i’m covered in scars, and my room looks like a hoarder house, but sure real cute i guess who wants me
my most tragic bpd behaviour is assuming that i’ve been abandoned then behaving in a way that makes the abandonment virtually certain. self sabotage is my specialty.
crazy how people with bpd, bipolar, schizophrenia, any of the 'scary mental illnesses' are 99% of the time the coolest, most emotionally intelligent and creative people you will ever meet but you insist on shunning us before you get to know us.
if anyone wants to come for me about my age and the fact i openly state i have bpd go for it, they're things i can't change about myself and i genuinely feel sorry for people like you if hating on me gives you some sense of accomplishment. i'm not hurting anyone. leave me alone.
when i feel abandonment anxiety creeping up i try to remember:
1. they are busy
2. they did not leave me
3. sometimes space is needed
4. they don’t always have to respond
5. i didn’t do anything wrong
6. it’s okay to be alone
this goes for all types of relationships ><
are you a “don’t fucking touch me or i’ll rip your spine out through your throat” traumatised or a “please please touch me i need physical validation to live” traumatised
once i overcome my insomnia, internet addiction, body dysmorphia, need for isolation, low self esteem, fear of intimacy, impulsive habits, and my inability to let myself live in peace it’s so over for you
pls touch me. i really don't care how. i'm just so intensely touch starved. i want to forget about everything that's weighing down on me even if it's just for a little while.
being bpd is like having two souls. one is genuine and kind and so loving. the other is malicious and cruel and so hateful. but your body doesn't have enough room for two souls, and you can never decide which one is yours. i'd give anything to feel like one whole person again.
people are always like “you’re so brave for being so open about your mental illness” and i always wanna be like “oh that’s actually just the mental illness” i have no idea how to not overshare