Sears Canada Parody @SearsStores Twitter profile

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Sears Canada Parody

4 years

As a reminder, @SearsStores is a parody/satire account. The accounts posts, contents, pictures, and communication are purely for entertainment purposes. The account is not and has never been affiliated with the Sears Canada or Sears brand.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 years

All locations are closed for Canada Day.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 years

Sears Canada is now charging $8 a month to cut through our stores to get to the mall.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

All locations are closed for Canada Day.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 months

All locations are closed for Canada Day.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 years

After canceling our Disney+ subscription we are happy to announce that Sears Canada is no longer bankrupt.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

3 years

Our Manager Greg donated $0.57 to the Convoy. The government just froze our accounts, made us declare bankruptcy, and converted all of our stores into Spirit Halloween locations.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

3 years

Sears Canada stores are now closed due to no supply trucks being able to reach our stores due to the blockades.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

1 year

All locations are closed for Canada Day.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

9 months

Black Friday is our busiest day.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

1 month

Sears Canada is not impacted by the IT outage.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

3 months

The aurora can be seen from our parking lot.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

You can bring back one Canadian retailer. Which one are you picking?

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 months

Please like this tweet if you need a Sears Canada catalog mailed to you.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

@TheZellersStore As Chairman of the Council of Defunct Canadian Retailers, we would like to invite Le Chateau to join us on Twitter.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 months

Now available at Sears Canada.

Retro Motivation Canada

@retromotivation

1 year

This vintage electric range will continue to outlast 90% of the new appliances created today.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

1 month

Should’ve bought a Kenmore from Sears Canada.

Parker

@TeslaEnthusist

1 month

I can’t even open my fridge 😭

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

The year is 2022, only one retail store remain: Sears-Zellers and Co. Beavers are found to be immune to COVID and the Prime Minister is now a 6ft tall beaver. The national anthem is now the Tim Hortons jingle. Citizens roam armed with Hockey sticks & full hockey gear.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

If this tweet gets 100 likes we will reopen Sears Canada.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Effective immediately, you can no longer cut through Sears to go to the mall.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

8 months

All locations are closed for Christmas

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Now hear me out, what if we open up the Zellers restaurant in all Sears Canada locations?

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

1 month

Disgusting taking pictures of strangers and kids and making rude comments. This self proclaimed blonde bigot is officially banned from Sears Canada.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

9 years

Holy Winnipeg. http://t.co/P9FS73dA69

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

5 months

Sears Canada is closed today while we search for the truth regarding Kate Middleton.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Me making my iOS14 home screen

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 months

Please welcome our new summer interns: - Mitch Marner - Austin Matthews - John Tavares

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

22 days

Deport these people immediately!! @Harry__Faulkner is this you??

𝝗●✘𝝴𝙧⃪

@Snyderboxer

22 days

◽️ Privilege 🤡

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

There have been zero COVID cases linked to Sears Canada’s operations.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 years

Elon Musk has acquired Sears Canada.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Sears Canada remains steadfast in our commitment to ending COVID. That is why we proactively closed all of our stores in 2018.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Sears Canada is happy to report 0% of our employees have tested positive for COVID.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Ahead of you on that one, introducing Zellers Sears & Co.

Future Shop

@futureshopcan

4 years

@SearsStores @TheZellersStore @BiwayCanada @Woolco_Store @StoreSaan @LewiscraftStore @SaanStores I say we build one giant, awesome brand and kick WallyWorld and Amazon to the curb...

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Sears Canada is enforcing a stay at home order for all customers. We have shut down all stores & will not be allowing any customers to enter.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 years

Sears Canada has mailed out the Christmas Wishbook. If you have not yet received your copy please like this tweet.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Can you please like this tweet if you have not yet received your Sears Canada Wishbook? Seems like we have shipping delays.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

3 years

Debate Drinking Game Drink when: - Singh asks Trudeau why he called an election - Blanchet mentions Quebec - Paul is asked about infighting - O’Toole says “we released our plan in April” - Singh fixes his beard - Camera zooms into Trudeau smiling - Trudeau mentions Harper

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Our COVID19 prevention program is unparalleled. We are committed to limiting the spread of #COVID19

Cliff Skarstedt Jr. 🇨🇦 @PtboExaminer

@cliffskarstedt

5 years

The former Sears Canada store is razed to the ground during ongoing demolition @LansdownePlace

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

17 days

Sears Canada is happy to report zero shoplifting this year.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 months

Please stop cutting through Sears Canada to get to the mall.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 years

Sears Canada officially reached 25 months of ZERO COVID cases among our employees.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Meet the team protecting the mental health of Canadians from COVID & @Target . The Canadian Avengers: Iron Man - @ZellersStore Captain America - @SearsStores Thor - @BeaverLumberLTD Doctor Strange - @ConsumersDistr1 Groot - @LewiscraftStore Drunk raccoon - @BiwayCanada

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 years

Please stop calling Sears Canada to ask if Zellers is open. We do not know.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

6 months

Kate Middleton is currently working at Sears Canada in Oshawa.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

We’ve hired a new security guard for our abandoned locations.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

3 years

@TheZellersStore Are you hiring?

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 months

This is going to ruin the world tour.

Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

1 year

Sears Canada is Bankrupt.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

9 months

If you have not yet received your Sears Canada Christmas Wishbook please like this tweet. A customer service rep will be in touch with you within a year.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Due to overwhelming demand we will be bringing back the Sears Canada Wishbook.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

5 months

Eclipse viewing party in the Sears Canada parking lot

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

If you could sacrifice one store to end the pandemic, which would it be, and why is it Target?

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 years

. @TheZellersStore mind if we tag along on the revival?

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

3 years

Did you know that all of the Federal Party Leaders were Sears Canada employees at one point? @JustinTrudeau was our #1 washing machine salesman.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

TARGET

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

You have to spend a week in this abandoned Sears, your 4th @ must go with you, who is it?

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

TRUMP

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

1 month

Sears Canada hasn’t paid me for managing this Twitter account in almost 10 years.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 years

Our Black Friday weekend hours Friday: Closed Saturday: Closed Sunday: Closed

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

9 months

We had a very successful Black Friday sale! Empty shelves by the end of it!

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

@RepBrianHiggins Canadians don’t want the border open! Leave us alone!

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

The farewell you deserved @ZellersStore .

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 years

Sears Canada is happy to report zero shoplifting this year.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

100 likes to find out who runs this twitter.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

1 month

Sears Canada Wishbook is coming back.

NewsWire

@NewsWire_US

1 month

BIDEN TO MAKE MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT IN COMING DAYS: THE HILL

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

9 months

Please find out holiday hours below: Christmas Eve: Closed Christmas: Closed New Years Eve: Closed New Years Day: Closed

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

5 months

Kensington Palace releases a new image of Kate Middleton at Sears Canada Portrait Studio.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

3 years

It has come to our attention that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is working in our washing machine department.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

3 years

Almost two years into the pandemic and Sears Canada is happy to boast that no customers at our physical stores have contracted COVID.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Today will be my last day managing the Sears Canada twitter account. I am happy to announce I have accepted a job with @TimHortons to try and fix their trash social media.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

We’ve just got in touch with Zellers their twitter will be relaunching shortly. #Zellers2020

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

10 years

The 2015 Champions! #OCanada http://t.co/aEwSoW1uog

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

BREAKING: Senior citizen shocked that all votes get counted in election.

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

4 years

Wow! It looks like Michigan has now found the ballots necessary to keep a wonderful young man, John James, out of the U.S. Senate. What a terrible thing is happening!

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

A car just pulled into the parking lot, we might have a customer!!!!

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

29 days

BREAKING: Merger announced between Sears Canada and Zellers.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Can you guys please buy something? We’re almost bankrupt.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

If this tweet gets 100 likes Sears Canada will release the 2020 Holiday Seaoan Wish Book!

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 years

Please stop using our stores as a short cut to get to the mall.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

9 months

Sears Canada is happy to report zero shoplifting this year.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

I think I’m gonna close the store early tonight.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 months

We will be adjusting store hours for all Sears Canada locations to the standardized schedule below: Monday - Closed Tuesday - Closed Wednesday - Closed Thursday - Closed Saturday - Closed Sunday - Closed

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Target said we couldn’t do it, but we did proved them wrong! Thanks for 7,000 followers!

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

25 days

Why are Hindu Nationalist backed accounts constantly posting fake AI images of Sikhs? Foreign political interference to malign Sikhs. Losers who post this fake content do not even bother retracting it or making statements.

Raj Grewal

@RajLiberal

25 days

I own this property. This DID NOT happen, it’s photoshopped. Do better @Harry__Faulkner

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

8 months

For everyone asking, yes we are open for Boxing Day.

Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

8 months

All locations are closed for Christmas

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

3 years

I’m so surprised that 7,514 of you people follow the rambles of an unpaid intern for a defunct Canadian retailer.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Sears Confession #11 : When we went to the back to check if an item was in stock we didn’t actually check.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

2 years

ATTENTION SHOPPERS: The store will be closing in 15 minutes as we are bankrupt.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

Why do you all only use Sears to cut through the mall? Please buy something.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

3 years

Sears Canada has deployed our warehouse equipment and security guards to clear nearby blockades. Anyone who resists will face a lifetime ban from the mall.

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Sears Canada Parody

@SearsStores

4 years

As voted by you, Tessa Virtue is Sears Canada’s Employee of the Month!