Sara Warf @SaraBWarf Twitter profile

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Sara Warf

4 years

“‘Your internet connection is unstable.’ Yeah, so am I, you ain’t special.” —me talking to my computer this afternoon just before suddenly becoming very aware that I was mid-class with my mic on

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

I love this explanation

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

I told my 9yo son the “I can’t operate on him; he’s my son” riddle the other day, and it went like this: Me: …so how is that poss— 9yo: It’s his mom. Me: Yeah. 9yo: Me: Or his other dad, I guess. 9yo: Right. Me: 9yo: I don’t get how it’s a riddle.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

Friends: might I recommend that you Google “sunfish” and click over to News

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 months

Spoiler alert for today’s NYT Connections. But seriously: what the hell games are three of these? Charades, sure. But werewolf? There’s a “classic party game” called werewolf??

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

These sheets come in full, twin, and Simone Biles

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

5 years

When I die I want to come back as a ghost to haunt my adult children’s houses, just passive-aggressively turning off lights they’ve left on and pointedly moving their shoes to the shoe cabinet, just heavily sighing the whole time

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

Just needed to make sure everyone knows what a baby flamingo looks like

slate

@PleaseBeGneiss

3 years

saw a flamingo sitting down at 9:46 this morning and i still haven’t recovered

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

2 years

@kosherSamwich Saving this one 😂

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

2 years

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

Law professors, a real kindness you can do for your students: find a way to casually pronounce aloud any terms that might be new to them before they have to say them aloud in front of their peers.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

Friends: I gotta tell you about what our students did. Buckle up. It is amazing. 🧵

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

2 years

BALLER

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

2 years

HOW AM I JUST LEARNING THIS

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

Bold of you to assume we can’t be both

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

HAPPY MONDAY

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

Arright, tweeps, give me your non-inflammatory controversial opinions. Me, for example, I hate wind chimes. Hate ‘em.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

Hey just fyi law students your female professors would be gosh-darned fascinated to hear about this kind of thing happening at your school. Please tell one you feel comfortable with & trust. It would be our deep, deep pleasure to handle it, and you absolutely shouldn’t have to.

anxiety at law 🤍

@ANXIETYATLAW

4 years

During 1L, the male students of my law school section created and circulated amongst them a “top 10” list of girls in our section they wanted to have sex with. That is the tweet.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

DID U KNOW: You can buy a party-size bag of potato chips even if you’re the only one at your house that eats them and you plan to eat them slowly over two weeks. They don’t come check if you’re having a party. They can’t stop you

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

“I’ll add citations in later”

status annoyicus

@medburnbook

4 years

give me a horror story from your specialty in five words or less

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

What the HELL, kid

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

9 months

I have never wanted to play a game more

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

@AnthonyBLSmith @alittleleader YES. I HAVE SAID THIS FOR YEARS. A minor signing a contract! Vague terms! PROCEDURAL AND SUBSTANTIVE UNCONSCIONABILITY!

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

Student who introduced me to his cat last week via Zoom: Hey Professor Warf, I-- Me: Is Pumpkin there

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

I just wanted to be sure everyone has read this story because it is amazing

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

2 years

This is the absolute best description of networking I’ve ever seen. ATTN: LAW STUDENTS

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

2 years

I so rarely read for pleasure anymore, which would horrify younger me. Thinking about making myself a punch card where after I read six books I get a personal Pizza Hut pizza

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

Lawyers who are cat lovers: have you considered starting a podcast called Purr Say Guys it is 1am

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

2 years

My husband and I have been married almost 19 years and he just picked up both dogs under his arms and pointed them at me and said I DOUBLE DOG DARE YA and I burst out laughing and folks this is how you keep a relationship fresh

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

Everyone who’s taken a Torts class is nodding along

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

9yo correctly inserted a semicolon in this proofreading assignment and got it marked wrong because “it was supposed to be a period.” I have never been so close to calling the school in a rage

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

Alternatively titled Whose Goddamn Shoes Are These?

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

2 years

I am once again asking all law firms who are hiring summer associates not to use “on law review” as a hiring criterion. 🧵

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

5 years

Quick question, how early is too early to drink when you're quarantined at home with your kids

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

How my town is explaining the actual distance of social distancing. 😂

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

5 years

What's the word for "the feeling when you've taken your shoes off under your desk & change positions & then a visitor appears in your office so you need to put your shoes back on but now can't find them so you desperately flail under your desk like a weirdo"? It's probably German

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

My sister is picking paint colors and I told her this one wouldn’t age well 😀

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

What I ordered vs. what I found dumped at the end of my driveway

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

2 years

It’s just science

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

@outragedinks @CatDocMD Do you set your work email to…out of orifice? Y’all I was really proud of this one

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

5 years

Rules for my students in our upcoming Zoom classes/meetings: 1. Wear clothes. 2. If you go to the bathroom, don’t take us along. 3. Hold any pets or kids up where I can see them at the beginning of each call so I can squee. If I ask “who’s a good booooooy” you need not answer.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

2 years

Friends, I am thrilled that Twitter is still afloat so that I can share this news: the @unc_law faculty voted to promote me to Full Clinical Professor! I wish I could say that I received this news with professional dignity, but honestly, THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

2 years

I just want to say, to all you 1Ls who just finished your first year: CONGRATU-FRIGGIN-LATIONS!!! You should be so, so proud of yourselves. 1L year is famously difficult—academically, emotionally, & mentally—and you DID IT. 🧵 If you feel like you haven’t accomplished much:

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

5 years

I don’t know who needs to hear this but if you buy those giant clear plastic bins for “organization” all it’s gonna do is put your crap into a rectangle shape

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 months

That— He— [brain falls out of head]

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

2 years

If your kid yells down HEY MOM WHERE’S THE MASKING TAPE, I cannot stress enough how much your reply should be WHY

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

What to do!! Only one answer: have a representative draft a motion for extension of time and file it with their RRWA prof. It’s beautifully formatted, cites the syllabus & other sources, and is just generally delightful.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

5 years

When I was a kid I was supposed to practice my clarinet for an hour a night. One morning I handed my practice log to my Dad to sign and this happened: Him (reading): I haven’t heard you practicing for an hour at night. Me: Do you want to? Him: Him: (quietly signs form)

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

11 months

Bless, this is adorable

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

In summary and conclusion we have the best students and I have the dopest colleagues @RachelGurvich @aznchew @PNemerovski @lukeeverettNC @afscardulla

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

I don’t give legal advice to anyone but if I did it would sound like this

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

6 years

My dear 1Ls: Please let me monologue at you for a moment. January & February are notoriously hard months for 1Ls, especially. You survived your first semester, you got a few weeks of very well earned rest, you remembered that your family and friends exist. And now you're back.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

Phase 2 is you can go to other people’s houses but only ones where your phone already automatically connects to the wifi

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

Any chance we can get a law professor to host the next debate? Someone who feels comfortable interrupting people and demanding that they explain & support their answers?

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

2 years

My daughter & her boyfriend(ish) are arguing about a photo he posted of them on IG from his phone. Apparently it's getting a lot of likes, but she's uncomfortable with it. Should I intervene? On one hand, I *am* her mother. On the other, they are 8 + 6 and it is a pretend phone.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

@alittleleader Truly. I find it heartening to remember every so often that my kids don’t know the words “fireman” or “policeman”—they only know “firefighter” and “police officer.” The world is successfully changing in small ways.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

1 year

A couple weeks ago my doctor's office told me "Before we can refill this prescription again, the doctor needs to see you," so I made an appointment online. Where it asked for the reason for the appointment, I just wrote "you said I had to"

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

Law students final finishing three years of school only to head straight into bar exam prep

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

2 years

Here you go: fancy big city lawyer Kate gets sent to picturesque small town in another state to defend Conglomerated Conglomerates against pollution lawsuits. A local, handsome, down-to-earth lawyer-turned-avocado farmer makes her see the bigger picture. Title: Pro Guac Vice

Andrew Kim

@akhoya87

2 years

The plot of an #appellatetwitter Hallmark Christmas movie. Go.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

I don’t have a Soundcloud to promote so I’ll just say please tip waitstaff etc. very generously as their customers and also pay them more as their employers

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

Within an hour, we had not only unanimously agreed to grant the extension but also had a draft order ready to issue. Definitely good cause shown.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

After years of working in a state university system I still don’t really know the difference between a chancellor and a provost and at this point I’m too afraid to ask

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

7 years

Student: (says how law school is exhausting & frustrating right now) “I’m just impatient to get out and start practicing. But I suppose lots of practitioners would say they wish they were in law school again.” Me: “Literally no lawyers would say that.”

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

6 years

Me: Ah, a quiet house; class prep time. My brain: Hey Me: NOPE. My brain: It's something fun! Me: NO. My brain: How about a song that's only 15 seconds long but incredibly catchy AND singing it aloud will make you sound insane Me: My brain: Me: Please, I need t-- My brain:

Paul F. Tompkins

@PFTompkins

7 years

A NEW SONG FOR THE WORLD

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

Eh, you think he’s the real deal but turns out to be nothing much 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

5 years

I'M NOT GONNA ANSWER ANY MORE QUESTIONS UNTIL YOU COME DOWN HERE WITH PANTS ON --what I just bellowed up the stairs and also the title of my next parenting book

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

My new faculty bio

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

AND THEN: our very own @adamcgillette FILED AN AMICUS BRIEF IN SUPPORT

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

6 years

Lessons I’m trying to teach my kids because some adults I know could use them: • You have to take “no” for an answer. • A compliment for someone else is not an insult to you. • Everybody gets to set their own boundaries. • You don’t have to say *everything* you’re thinking.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

Hey parents of boys please teach them that pulling girls’ hair etc. is not how to communicate a crush or I will teach my daughter that punching boys in the stomach is how to say “oh thank you”

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 months

I'm working on the citation website I built for my students and writing a quick primer re the parts of the Bluebook they need to care about. It opens: "Ah, the Bluebook. You might hate it now, but ask any practicing attorney and they will tell you they also hate it."

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

5 years

7yo and 4yo are shouting Harry Potter-style made-up spells at each other and I am resisting the urge to point a straw at them and shout IN LIMINE or DE MINIMIS or RES IPSA LOQUITUR

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

The Federalist

@FDRLST

4 years

Why Being A ‘Nice Guy’ Gets You Friend-Zoned — And How To Get Out

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

6 years

Westlaw features I’d like to see on clothing websites: —little glasses: You already looked at this and decided not to get it —filter by jurisdiction: Where would you wear this in your actual real life —red flag: YOU ALREADY BOUGHT AND RETURNED THIS, WHY ARE YOU BACK

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

5 years

The kids are playing cop (8yo) & fugitive (5yo). 5yo came to hide behind me in my office & I sternly forbade 8yo from entering without a warrant. He asked what that was & I explained. He came back a few minutes later with this. (I acknowledged receipt in the bottom right corner.)

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

5 years

To the loved ones of law students: When they say they have to leave/miss an event to study, they are being entirely sincere. This is an awful time in the semester. They’d much rather be relaxing with you. Sincerely, A law prof who’s holed up to grade while her family has fun

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

I stg Pam better not be buttering him again

Jorts (and Jean)

@JortsTheCat

3 years

I was called into an urgent meeting but it was just about brushing me and wiping me with a damp cloth? Apparently the sticky stuff on my back was “urgent” to resolve

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

Welcome

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

@collectdust A year’s prepaid subscription to her closest grocery store that does online ordering & drive-up pickup. A mother’s best friend!

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

I love this gotdamn app so much

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

At no point in reading this headline could I have predicted the next word

AL.com

@aldotcom

3 years

One of the most sought boudoir photographers in the Southeast and champion barrel racer Matt Mathews is fighting back after he says state officials swarmed his property and took his opossum.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

I have a legal writing joke that will C-RAC you up.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

Just thinking about the time I saw a Reddit post saying "is it okay to go to law profs' office hours just to chat?" and everyone said no, don't waste her time, & when I said absolutely, I'm a prof & we love talking to students, I got downvoted into oblivion

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

5 years

Shout out to the student who shared this gem with me

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

Honestly, hats off to this kid.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

Friends, please witness my submission for the Tacky Ornament Party: the Santaur

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

2 years

Today, my son begins learning to play the recorder. I ask only for your thoughts & prayers.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

4 years

People who are like “I do my share of the housework!” ask yourself this: do you know how many rolls of paper towels are currently in your house? Because someone in the house has to keep up with that kind of thing, and if it’s not you, it’s your partner

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

My 9yo is doing some thing at school called Think Like a Lawyer and started telling me about it last night. Him: (describes scenario where a kid accidentally hits another) So then the question is can they sue the first guy. Me, immediately: What state is it in?

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

I don’t know why this made me laugh so hard but hoo boy

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

When your parents are both lawyers

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

5 years

Medium: Mother Warf, why is your soul not at rest?? Me: Because APPARENTLY I hold SECRET KNOWLEDGE about how to CLEAN A HOUSE (snapping open a garbage bag aggressively)

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

Needless to say, we RRWA profs took it under consideration, by which I mean we lost our entire minds and convened en banc via an email chain.

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

5 years

After my super late night and early morning with the kids, I’m starting my day with caffeine and positive affirmations 🙏🏻

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

6 years

Halloween 2018 costume: String Cite! Warf; Gurvich; Gurvich (forthcoming, Jan. 2019). @RachelGurvich #appellatetwitter

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Sara Warf

@SaraBWarf

3 years

7yo: I invented a thing: it's a pancake sandwich. Me: Oh yeah? What's in the middle? 7yo: Pancakes. Me: ....oh, so what's the bread? 7yo (whispering): Pancakes!!!

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