Poor Rich @RichBeingRich Twitter profile

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

4 years

i found out i am late-life lactose intolerant so i will be eating my ice cream and cheese on the toilet from now on

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

6 months

@vinivinidogo @neodyn6 @emanzi @notcapnamerica @Bernadette96 civil asset forfeiture aka the stuff cops take from people, totaled out at a higher dollar value last year than the total dollar value taken in all robberies and burglaries. the cops suck.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

I wish my superpower was seeing people's Twitter handles floating above their heads in public.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

2 years

im always more attracted to women wearing glasses, like deep down i know naturally poor eyesight provides my best chances

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

4 years

@lizhid @Breadloveaffair @lizardkween420 @andipetersenn @onetiredmama98 You mean there’s ANOTHER reason why Planned Parenthood is fantastic and a ridiculous GOP boogeyman?!

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

I'm gonna take this shit to another level! *pushes elevator button*

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

These days, aren't we all just looking for someone we can sit near while we both play on our phones in silence?

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

2 years

I can not believe that, yet again, my actions have consequences.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

My phone just autocorrected "Haha" to "Jaja" so I guess I'm Mexican now.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

My wife doesn't even pay attention when she's talking to herself.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

I don't mind having mounds of debt. At least I know I'll be remembered when I die.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

2 years

i’ve worked retail at 6am on black friday you can’t hurt me

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

1 year

@SLCSocialist @Shinikage221 they say you’re supposed to start out practicing on pig skin so maybe ask your local police officers

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

Twitter is over when everyone follows everyone, allowing us all to unplug from the matrix.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

A Twitter account and a solid sense of humor: you really shouldn't have one without the other.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

1 year

@LALegault @camilli_amilli usually you get dunked IN the lake not dunked BY the lake

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

If you're in the front row at the stadium you don't need to stand up. In fact you don't have to stand up anywhere that's how stadiums work

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

4 months

@WillfulChild_xo @bewgtweets 🤯 i’ve never heard those 2 tree verses before

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

2 years

my favorite kind of sandwich is ice cream

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

What a relief that when my generation gets put into retirement homes we'll all be able to just sit and play on our cell phones all day.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

10 years

*puts random action between two asterisks*

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

Confused, because her safe words are "harder" and "faster"

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

1 month

@AntiFaHR3 @Pinko69420 right? pretty sure he’s at least an adopted Irishman at this point

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

10 years

I think every guy wants a woman who's the right kind of trashy.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 years

I think it's about time that we start taking the warning labels off of things. Let's thin the herd.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

3 years

people are shocked when they find out i’m not a very good electrician

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

I know a thing or two about pressure. I've got a barometer in my backyard.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

I'm not one of those people that just follows back everyone who follows me. I follow the people whose tweets I enjoy. Simple as that.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

1 year

no twitter i’m not interested in this ad. i’m never interested in this ad. i will never be interested in this ad.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 years

Not much left to do now but to be a dad, get older, be a grandpa, and then die.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

1 year

@LethalityJane @kv8 i work PT for a junk removal company. we take SO MANY PIANOS

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

8 years

Chase my dreams? Can't they just wait up for me?

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

10 years

Does marriage have a lemon law?

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

4 years

i love how much time i spend here like it’s fuckin important

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

2 years

hear me out: a piñata filled with tater tots…a piñatot, if you will

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

5 years

I’m sorry, it’s just that being depressed takes up a lot of my time

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

1 year

@sunnydaejones our country is horribly racist but i don’t think it’s wrong to say it’s even more misogynist. remember, black men were given the right to vote before women.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

4 years

Maybe she’s born with it Maybe it’s quarantine

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 months

@joshpeyt @heyaries1981 @zachinpractice @clhubes @HannahM_Writes the movie portrays the police pretty accurately as shiftless morons who can’t accomplish anything unless someone else does their job for them 😬

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 years

Be polite. Be courteous. Be kind.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 years

What was that? Mace? That tasted like Mace.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

I'm 31 yrs old, I'm an adult dammit! Oh what'd I have for lunch? Milk and cookies and it was my first meal so technically breakfast. At 2pm

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

8 years

Trying out this new diet. It's called My Wife is Out of Town and I Don't Know How to Take Care of Myself.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

3 years

i can’t find my mood ring and i’m not sure how to feel about it

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

4 years

it’s okay to have cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner as long as it’s three different cereals

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

1 year

Police budgets are unnecessarily excessive and don’t ever go towards things that actually keep citizens safe

Read No Shortcuts

@JoshuaPHilll

1 year

One of the crucial arguments for defunding and abolishing police is that they reject civilian oversight. Laws are passed, judges issue rulings, and cops ignore them. Now the NYPD has brought back stop-and-frisk, ruled unconstitutional a decade ago.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

3 years

looking for a friend with benefits but like, health insurance

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 years

I judge couples I see on a scale of how badly I'd want to watch their private sextape.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 months

if she excuses herself to “powder her nose” she means cocaine right?

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

10 years

I cleaned out all the lint traps at 7 different laundromats so I could knit this scarf for you.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

1 year

@sanitycheck99 @StyleWriterNYC @RachelBitecofer Jon Stewart was pounding the table about how awful Trump was, and you think he was anti-Clinton?!? what a ridiculous take…

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

1 year

@GoodPoliticGuy i want to gather a pro-socialism demonstration right outside Rick’s front door

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

2 years

@capybaroness valid critique but i think “one of the worst films of all time” may be a touch hyperbolic

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

5 years

Am I where I always wanted to be in life? No But am I working as hard as I can to get there? Also, no

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 years

I don't ever do things nonchalantly. Oh no no, I am very chalant.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

5 years

The world is my oyster and I am allergic to shellfish

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

4 years

i talk a lot of shit for a guy who gasps whenever something catches me off-guard

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

3 years

i would rather be lonely than spend time with someone i can’t stand

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

1 year

@anointed2507 @drop_top_mop @hakon_hovind @ShadowQrow @MemesForGuys 18 unsatisfied women 😂

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

5 years

Note to self: Don’t ever get your hopes up. About anything. Ever.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 days

@ToddLeranus @ladyhaleth_x you just wanted to use the phrase “sneaky beating” 😂😂😂

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

2 years

*pronounces envelope like Penelope*

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

2 years

fuck every one of you with a roof rack that looks like a siren in my rearview mirror

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

10 years

I like a woman who takes charge in the bedroom. But not "grabs the strap-on" takes charge.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

2 months

@MorePerfectUS they need to put 99¢ back on the can! they stopped putting it on the can and the stores out here charge 1.49 or more

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

6 years

I’ll bet rich people don’t even own Tupperware.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 years

People are like your Brita filter. They never change.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 years

Yeah, but I wanna do ALL the drugs...

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

2 years

couples that call each other “babe” incessantly rank among the most annoying things on earth

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

4 months

@leisha1196 81 unread texts is insane 😳

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

8 years

I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next poop could spell disaster.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

4 years

just liked a 15.9K tweet and watched it turn into 16K please don’t be intimidated by my power

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

Ladies, you don't need to send naked pics or act slutty for the right guys to appreciate you. No, I don't mean stop! Please keep doing it!

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

If your milkshake is bringing boys to your yard, they're probably fat boys. Fat boys love milkshakes.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 years

Stuck my hand in a beehive trying to catch a buzz.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

7 years

"This is a mistake." -me, every time I open Twitter after midnight

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

3 years

i don’t make mistakes unless those mistakes are expensive, catastrophic, and with far-reaching horrible consequences

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

3 years

if you dig where you shouldn’t go digging you’re going to find some shit you don’t wanna find

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

1 year

@TheMcKenziest @Shinikage221 well he ain’t giving himself a red check so your plan is off to a rough start

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 years

I would rather do nothing than anything.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 years

Nothing makes me more angry than when someone says "Don't be so angry" to me when I'm not angry.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

4 years

i don’t know what a “soft block” is i’m assuming it’s a brick of cheese that’s been left in the sun for a bit

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

11 years

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Can I?

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 years

I'm at my most genius when I put the cereal back in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 years

The boys like you better the tighter your sweater.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

2 years

you get a spout in your house to dispense any beverage you want in unlimited supply, no alcohol, what do you choose?

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

2 years

my 7yo daughter just called out from the shower to ask me if fish pee

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

10 years

I'd like to shoot you with a harpoon but I'm afraid you'd still miss the point.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 years

You can work out all you want. It's not gonna fix your fucked up face.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

10 months

@daniel_pakufish @dancohen3000 i don’t think you wanna see how the war crime tally adds up on each side…

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

6 years

I’m way to much of a realist to ever be an optimist.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

10 years

I don't always pull out into traffic but when I do, I'm sorry if I got jizz on your windshield.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

8 years

I love when someone's AVI changes while you're looking at it. It's just like seeing a shooting star.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

4 years

i like the air dryers that blow so hard they make your hand skin ripple

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

4 years

so laid back i’m almost upside down

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

8 months

@BrandonHughes74 @ProFootballTalk define woke, champ

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 years

Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion. That doesn't mean that yours isn't fucking stupid.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

3 years

i’ve got a huge headache. i wonder if it has anything to do with staring at this small screen for hours while also keeping an eye on the larger screen playing in the background

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

9 months

i see so so so so many tweets that just make me think, “goddamn i want a girl who thinks like that!”

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

2 years

don’t tell me i don’t know bout that good life, like i ain’t sittin here enjoying a can of cold baked beans in the dark.

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Poor Rich

@RichBeingRich

7 months

i had someone who was crazy about me once and i fucked that up. if you have someone who is crazy about you, don’t fuck it up.

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