your friend, Dracula @Remember_Sarah Twitter profile

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

This is my mom’s never-fail chocolate zucchini cake recipe, and now it can be yours too

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

5 years

The most unrealistic element of Jurassic Park is the part where an American theme parks investors become concerned after a single worker is killed

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

I've felt ill at ease ever since I learned that red wine is supposed to be served at room temperature because room temperature in CASTLES was 50 degrees

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

So there's this mom on Instagram (batumi_mama) who has 22 babies under the age of 2, all born to surrogates, and what I find most surprising about my reaction to this is that I find it really unsettling to see that many babies together. what if they organize. what then.

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

the best thing about Heathers is that it takes place in the world where the most popular girls in school all dress like 46-year-old realtors getting their groove back after Dennis walked out

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

2 years

I like that Seth Meyers has completely abandoned suits. like, did it ever make sense for late night hosts to dress like lawyers

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

6 years

when oh when will Netflix add a category called "things you can kind of watch while doing something else"

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

I for one cannot get enough of the Bon Appetit/botulism scandal

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

Were midcentury bosses constantly insisting on dining in their employees' homes or has this threat been exaggerated by sitcoms and ads of the time?

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

the worst thing about completing The Dreaded Task is that it's never that bad and you realize you are just full of dread

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

5 years

I want a rom com about... a hypermasculine thriller writer who gets dropped by his publisher and decides to write a romance novel "for fun" and then discovers how hard it is and has to be mentored by a romance novelist who takes her glasses off

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

7 years

In 1982 an artist named Agnes Denes grew a two-acre wheatfield next to the World Trade Center and I think about it almost every day

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

I was 31 when the pandemic started and now I'm about to be 34, which means the oyster of my 30s--the Catherine Tramell/Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman years--have been spent indoors in a big sweater with hummus on the sleeves.

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

Remember the 90s, when David Schwimmer would say “lesbians” and the audience would laugh and laugh and laugh

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

Remember when you’d walk into a used bookstore and wander between shelves, books stretching to the ceiling and stacked on the floor, probably a cat in there somewhere, the owner having a weird conversation at the front

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

6 years

How many of us "empaths" actually just grew up in profoundly codependent homes and are still slowly learning that we aren't responsible for the feelings of everyone we know or meet or stand next to on a bus 🙃😘

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I really appreciate how little effort went into the word fireplace

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

What's your most killjoy opinion? Mine (today) is that Disney shouldn't have started hiring A-list celebrities for voice work all the time because that's not their job and it shows

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

what's a memory you have that feels very OF a moment in time? mine is when I was waiting in a very long line to get tickets for Flubber and someone shouted to everyone that there were no more tickets for Flubber

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

What did you think was EXTREMELY fancy when you were a little kid?

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I'm shopping stuffed lions and.... they all look like therapists

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

small dog slander makes me sad. Of course they’re “yappy,” they have tiny bodies, it’s not a personality trait. They also have teeny tiny paws to put on your leg when you are sad

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

I will never emotionally recover from this picture of Martha Stewart in her kitchen, in her first book, ENTERTAINING, which I bought for myself in high school for some reason

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

The Parent Trap is about two girls who grew up in completely different households where they both had servants

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

Why am I so tired all the time? Aside from the fact that it gets dark at 3 and I'm not exercising and I'm lonely and it's raining and I've forgotten how to groom myself like those mice in the experiment where they had plentiful food but utterly meaningless lives. Aside from THAT

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

the greatest disappointment of my childhood

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

I'm reading a Jell-O cookbook that opens with the line "Jell-O Gelatin first grandly shimmered its way into American dining rooms in 1897," and if that's not good writing I don't know what is.

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I love how millennials are still getting talked about like teenagers getting ready for the SAT. WE ARE MIDDLE-AGED. I’m buying wicker and saving money to buy goats, please stop speculating on how many handjobs I’m giving or whatever it is you do

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

Little baskets. My life will make sense if I buy a lot of little baskets and put my things in them

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

somewhere, someone is writing a pissy op-ed about how millennials killed the serial killer industry

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I’ve discovered his amazing new game called ZILLOW. You look houses you’ll never afford until you get tired

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

The “masks will kill people” argument gets even more bananas when I remember how many Americans live in a climate where you have to cover your face in winter or risk frostbite

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

What studio executive in the 80s was like “you know what children love? Watching a baby animal try to nudge their dead parent awake.”

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

her husband is also apparently a fugitive from Turkey because he was convicted of soliciting a murder there, so there's just a lot going on

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

2 years

your regular psa that "vocal fry" is code for "a woman is talking and I don't like it"

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

in my opinion the worst thing about ADHD is that if I can't see something I completely forget about it, unless it's a memory of shame or guilt

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

My phone just autocorrected “creme de la creme” to “crime de la crime” if anyone needs a title

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

zombie movies failed to adequately prepare us because as far as I know there aren't any zombie movies where half of the non-zombies refuse to believe in the existence of zombies, and everyone debates the zombies until they get eaten

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I have some terrible news for you about white women and crime podcasts

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

5 years

I think a lot abt how boomers are alarmed by what they see as millennial inactivity--our rented rooms, lack of purchases, houseplant children--& how their lives were often abt doing BIG things for their BIG careers w/o thinking abt the consequences. We live in the consequences.

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I think Ellen’s personal brand was always niceness, not kindness. It’s kind to expect accountability from people. It’s nice to let them get away with whatever they want.

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

we really screwed up by creating the expectation that the average human being has to read and check their email EVERY DAY

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

part of the beauty of it, I think, is how perfectly it illustrates the possible consequences of letting a big ignorant white guy crash around demonstrating stuff he doesn't know how to do, for anyone who missed the point a couple years ago or for the past several centuries

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

love how we use the phrase "fairy tale romance," as if fairy tales aren't primarily about children being murdered

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

if I die alone I want my pets to eat me immediately, not sit there like minnesotans staring at the last piece of pizza

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

I frankly don't believe it but here we are. i heart you all.

iHeartRadio

@iHeartRadio

3 years

OMG @Remember_Sarah has won "Podcast Of The Year" for her podcast @yourewrongabout 👏🎙🎉 CONGRATULATIONS! #iHeartPodcastAwards2022

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

when I was in high school in 2003 I thought "this is awful, we all look awful" and I feel vindicated by how obvious it is now that 2003 was a fashion nadir

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I have spent a lot of the past year unable to maintain relationships the way I once could and I feel a fair amount of anxiety about having poisoned friendships through inattention/lacking the energy to keep up with more than a few people. But I doubt I'm alone.

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

the problem with 90s movies is that no one's problems are really believable because they live in THE MOST BEAUTIFUL HOUSES YOU HAVE EVER SEEN

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

Could there be a more millennial experience than this? I grow up, I work hard, I try my best to crack into industries where there is no money, I finally get a dream job that I made up, and now I find myself in the bedroom where I spent my adolescence, helping my parents garden

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I wonder what I could do if I didn't structure my entire life around avoiding getting yelled at

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

if you're looking for a hobby may I suggest randomly worrying that everyone is mad at you? easy to learn, impossible to master

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

If a socialist has one spoon they would not be a better socialist if they started eating with their hands. The idea is to find the people who have a thousand spoons locked in the attic of their mansion at the center of a spoonless town

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

5 years

Samantha hid a family of orphans in her attic & read an essay opposing child labor to a factory boss, what did you ever do

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

Correction!! They do not have 22 babies, they have 21 babies and Batumi Mama's 6-year-old from a previous relationship, which is completely different

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

when we started releasing @yourewrongabout I made it a personal goal to surpass the podcaster now at #19 in iTunes' show rankings, if only briefly. Two years and seven months later, her we are. It feels good to set a goal and reach it.

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

2 years

just putting it out there that I don't make a history podcast so people can watch trainwrecks and look forward to feeling chastened in ten years. the goal is for people to get their shit together enough to do something differently before it's too late.

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

QAnon is not "like" the satanic panic. It just is the satanic panic. When Michael Myers sits up and comes for you again he's the same guy even though he lay down briefly

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

The idea that Republicans feel the way Democrat’s felt in 2016 is one of the most insulting things I’ve ever heard.

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

5 years

“Do you know what you look like, Agent Starling, with your good bag and your cheap shoes?”

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

I had forgotten how often Wishbone casts himself as the romantic lead

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

no internet story will ever top the "fanfiction author posed as an HIV positive Chinese-Pakistani sex trafficking survivor living in India with her trans wife so she could write AIDS-crisis-themed Hamilton fanfic and call out other authors for their privilege" story. pack it in.

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

perhaps it would make you feel better to know that for Thanksgiving I have preordered a charcuterie platter intended for 6-8 and I will eat it BY MYSELF and have the best thanksgiving of my life

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I just need everyone i know to reassure me at every second that they're not mad at me, is that truly so much to ask

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

5 years

I don’t really know why people are comparing Trump to Vanna White but may I point out that Vanna has done her job flawlessly, professionally and consistently for like 38 years

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

If you can’t imagine how people get sucked into conspiracy theories, do you remember what it feels like to observe a crush’s behaviors when you’re ALMOST sure they might like you back?

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

"why do you like out of print cookbooks, sarah?"

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

5 years

o, to have only my first name ruined

Jesse McLaren

@McJesse

5 years

What piece of pop culture has ruined your first name?

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I know I'm a good friend because my house will always be messier than yours. you can always come over to my house and think "I'm doing a good job actually"

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

Remember "muffin tops," a body flaw we literally invented because of how horrible and unflatteringly cut every single pair of jeans was? like, no, the jeans are fine, YOU are the problem

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

The BA story for the past couple of years has been about a lot of things, including maybe most obviously racism in the workplace, but I think America's cultural mistrust of knowledge and expertise has always been part of it too

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

dear hollywood, just make more movies involving husbands who are nice. it's not that hard!

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

at this point thinking I'll have a baby when I'm 35 is like thinking to myself "I'll start answering emails at 11" and then seeing it's 10:58 and deciding on noon instead. 36. I'll have a baby when I'm 36. Maybe 37. after this second cup of coffee.

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

Clueless is a great adaptation of Emma but also, it must be noted, of Frankenstein

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I can't wait to go to a bar alone and drink my drink while reading a book and ignore everyone

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

In retrospect I wish American history courses spent more time on the fact that people in the 18th century were generally buzzed all day long

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

me: hiiiiii how are you!!? friend: pretty good! how are you? me: pretty good, thinking about death a lot

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I know there’s some confusion on the matter but socialism is not actually the belief that no one is ever allowed to enjoy tangible objects for their entire lives.

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I think the skeleton is my favorite spooky decor item because... they’re us, they’re just literally us.

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

6 years

I went to Lowe's today and was talking to the gardening center guy about opening day for Christmas trees coming up, & he said he wasn't looking forward to it & I said "is it a lot of heavy lifting for you?" & he said, ominously, "No. Spiders."

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

my life is going pretty good except that every day I truly struggle with the motivation to feed myself, clean myself, and dress myself. If I were my own baby someone would take me away

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

5 years

Something I think a lot of men don’t understand or even imagine is the experience of growing up wanting to learn about literature and therefore learning how a long line of literary misogynists imagined you: lustfully or hatefully or not at all

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

a not insignificant part of me does screaming when I hear men with new babies describe waiting in the wings for their kids to get older so they have more stuff to do. They are your spawn!!!! Do it all!!!

David Grossman

@davidgross_man

4 years

Elon Musk can imagine a lot of things but not changing diapers

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

What if this whole year is really a cake

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

What kinds of movies did your parents let you watch/how much control did they have over the media you consumed? My parents appear to have sincerely believed that I wouldn't pay attention to boring adult movies, which is how I saw The Piano when I was 5.

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

tackiness is a myth, be free

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I watched The Dark Knight for the first time since it came out and "we're going to hide the fact that our DA went on a murderous rampage because it would obviously destroy Gothamites to know the truth about their public servants" is not the rousing finale I remember it as

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

wellness culture is based on the idea that your body won't fall apart if you tell it to stop that gently but firmly

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

dating after quar

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

It’s strange to me that nurses used to wear little hats. Isn’t it hard to do medicine when you have a little hat on

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

5 years

Joe Biden wanting to be president is like my dad wanting to change my oil: we all know it would make him happy but at what cost?

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

well I've complained far too much about MY 2020

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I'm 32, I love my life, my friends, my job...but when I was a kid, I just really expected to be living in London and sexually manipulating an entire team of jewel thieves by now

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

5 years

please quote tweet this with your least interesting or inflammatory opinion. for example: baths are nice

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

History departments could get more majors if they rebranded as the Cold Tea Department

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I'm gonna be honest, I find the concept of dating in the near future existentially terrifying. not the implications of it even, just the dating itself. I have to either meet someone inside a French movie or die alone

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

I'm compiling a list of movies where a woman does something important without her husband/boyfriend throwing a hissy about it: Spotlight that's it so far

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

how about YOU have to go

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

3 years

oh, hello

‘You’re Wrong About’ Host Sarah Marshall on Revisiting Misunderstood Women

Marshall has spent hours examining history’s villains with empathy

time.com

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your friend, Dracula

@Remember_Sarah

4 years

Last night my dad “playfully” pretended he was going to hit my head with his huge walking stick, then got upset when I told him it wasn’t funny because of the times he’s actually hit me (something he says he doesn’t remember). So happy take-care-of-you day if that’s what you need

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