Ryan Delaney @RDelaney Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Ryan Delaney

@RDelaney

3,063

Followers

967

Following

89

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28,120

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Quit Fortune 500 sales to find true freedom ✦ 6,935 meditations later, I advocate self acceptance over self improvement ✦ Ready to start being your best friend?

Join 1400+ reading my emails:

https://t.co/D9xmRrxTyM

Joined September 2008

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

Hyper-independence is a trauma response. Disappointment or betrayal can cause us to fear depending on others. Hyper-independence is a way of protecting our hearts from further hurt. But humans need each other. We live in an interdependent reality. Isolation is an illusion.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

9 months

@Theholisticpsyc It's time to stop labeling women (and men) as disordered and start relating to them for who they are - real humans beings with real feelings who suffered trauma and want to return to wholeness with the help of others' support, love, and compassion.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 years

@Theholisticpsyc Narcissists inflict trauma on those around them and create a mess wherever they go. Demonizing them is easy, but in the end, they are wounded humans just like us, suffering just like us. Perhaps we can find compassion for our wounding and theirs.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

@Theholisticpsyc Intense romantic chemistry so powerful and feels so good. Reinforced by the belief that if a relationship isn't passionate then something's wrong. Normalizing relationships that are simple, honest, kind, and loving can help us find the right partner for us.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 years

@Theholisticpsyc I find the biggest benefit of being single is the feeling of spaciousness, lightness, and possibility. I feel free, and easy, and life feels vast The same feeling I had as a kid Keeping those feelings alive in a relationship is hard unless actively cultivated by both partners

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

@Theholisticpsyc Here's what I see as the underlying dynamics: 1. Mentally inflexible people get angry when life doesn't go their way or they don't get what they want. 2. Unhappy people gossip to feel significant and also to judge others. 3. With enough stress, even the most calm person can

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

I thought money, a nice car, and looking good would make me happy. I worked for a Fortune 500, drove a Porsche and wore nice clothes, yet I was miserable. Now I meditate, do meaningful work, and drive an old car, and I'm happier than ever. You decide what wealth is.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

7 days

Immature caregivers create a dysfunctional family environment. The child sacrifices themselves to accommodate the dysfunction.The adult child continues this pattern of neglecting their needs to get along. Our task is to be who we are and reclaim the little child we threw away.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

16 days

@Theholisticpsyc Here’s the line that stood out for me most: “People around them feel safe because they do not give mix messages.” This is rare. Most of us don’t feel safe around most people.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

8 months

@Theholisticpsyc We tend to think finding the perfect partner will take all our troubles away. But whatever we're running from we bring into our relationship. Eventually, the "love of our life" or "soul mate" will trigger every single one of our "dark" parts. And then we will blame our

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

The more inner work you do, the more you look for a partner who has done their inner work, too, and the less willing you are to compromise.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 month

Many people think they're keeping a positive mindset when they're really suppressing painful emotions. Genuine positivity comes from facing your feelings, feeling them and allowing them to move through you—not from numbing, distracting, or repressing them.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

The level of your anger reveals the degree of your attachment.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 years

@Theholisticpsyc Vital thread. I used to constantly people please (still do occasionally). I would over-explain and be overly apologetic, which was disempowering. Then I learned Nicole's framework from the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Using it changed my life: peace without drama

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

5 months

"People who play together stay together." Not in my experience. My ex-wife and I met in yoga, walked, hiked, backpacked, drank coffee, and road-tripped together. But it wasn’t enough to sustain our relationship. The truth? People who heal and grow together stay together.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

6 months

@Theholisticpsyc I was love bombed once. It put me back on top of the world in the devastating aftermath of divorce. Then came the subtle cutting remarks. They hurt, but I justified them in my mind. Eventually, I began setting boundaries. Then came the gaslighting. I had no idea what was

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

@Theholisticpsyc That I didn't know the first thing about love.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

The level of your anger reveals the degree of your attachment.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 years

@Theholisticpsyc And that includes all relationships - friends, parents, siblings, children, neighbors, bosses, co-workers, classmates, store clerks, even dogs, cats, bugs, trees, and plants - not just intimate relationships.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

@Theholisticpsyc As much as I preach the power of changing our lives by changing our insides, sometimes changing our environment is the simplest and most straightforward solution. Discerning between the two is easier said than done.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

The more inner work you do, the more you look for a partner who has done their inner work too, and the less willing you are to compromise.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

5 months

@Theholisticpsyc I so appreciate you acknowledging this, Nicole. I feel grief and sadness just reading this as I think about my dad’s shrinking body and my mom’s cognitive decline. Witnessing my once all-powerful parents become increasingly feeble is difficult and hard to process. And yet

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 years

@Theholisticpsyc I used to think conflict meant something was wrong. Eventually, I realized it's normal, a healthy sign that a relationship is alive, not dead. Conflict indicates both partners are willing to have difficult conversations. A relationship without conflict should worry us.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 months

The world would transform in one generation if every parent did deep inner work before having kids.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 months

Trauma causes you to hide yourself. Instead of being yourself, you become who you think others will like more. But hiding yourself robs others of your authentic expression. The less you are willing to reveal your true self, the more healing you have ahead of you.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

Not being yourself is easy. Being yourself is hard.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

3 months

@Theholisticpsyc Over-protective caregivers convey to their children "I don't believe you are capable of making your way in the world." We need to normalize trusting the innate intelligence and wisdom of children to make choices, be disappointed and learn from their actions. Kids are brilliant

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

3 months

We should celebrate people who quit bad relationships just as much as those who succeed. Letting go and starting over takes colossal courage.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

The more you accept yourself, the less you seek acceptance from others.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

5 months

@Theholisticpsyc This describes my oldest sister 100%. She is always giving, serving, pleasing. And after she cooks a beautiful dinner for everyone, she recounts all the ways it could have been better. It pains me to hear.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

@Theholisticpsyc I used to try to save others. I feel others’ pains deeply and know how hard life can be and sincerely wanted to help. But what I really needed to do was to stop worrying about others and start dealing with my own destructive patterns by healing my wounds. I can be there for

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

10 months

@Theholisticpsyc Having grown up chronically depressed, I relate to this. That feeling of numbness is so hard to put into words. For anyone experiencing the helplessness of depression, my deepest compassion - you're not alone.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

You don't need more information to become smarter. You need a quieter mind. The quieter your mind, the clearer your thinking and the smarter you become.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 years

@Theholisticpsyc People, like all things, come and go in our lives. Sometimes we choose to move on, but more often than not people leave us for many reasons. Everything outside of us, including people, is unreliable and continually changing.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

@Theholisticpsyc Leaving someone to protect ourselves may be the ultimate (and most challenging) form of boundary setting.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

@Theholisticpsyc If we feel good after spending time with someone, the second question is what need of mine do they help meet? Few, if any, will meet all of our needs. Some friends are great for having fun. Others for intellectual conversations. And some help fulfill us spiritually.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

18 days

@Theholisticpsyc As a recovering "love addict," as my friend calls it, I can attest. I spent the first 32 years of my life unknowingly looking for a woman to save me. My neediness ruined my first two long-term relationships. Once I became aware of my co-dependency, I learned how to meet my own

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

6 months

Why do you think so many people are so unhappy?

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

You do know you’re going to die, right?

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

@Theholisticpsyc And men can support women by taking on extra work and encouraging women to set boundaries, take care of their needs and say no.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

14 days

@Theholisticpsyc My biggest love language is words of affirmation. Being affirmed feels so damn good. Which is why one of my practices is to share anything positive that pops into my head about someone. It may be a friend, a family member, or a stranger standing in line at a grocery store.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

@Theholisticpsyc I'm a guy, and this describes my childhood precisely. To this day, my parents tell me, "You were such an easy child." Sigh. All I can say to anyone who was the "easy" child, healing and finding freedom from your conditioning is possible. Keep looking until you find it.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 months

Think inner healing is heavy stuff? Try lugging around unresolved emotional baggage everywhere you go—for the rest of your life. Now, that's heavy.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

5 months

The future belongs to those who can sit in silence.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

When you know yourself, you understand your needs, wants and values. You stop looking to self-help gurus for answers. And start looking within.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 years

@Theholisticpsyc It’s funny, isn’t it? We all say we want love and intimacy, yet we’re unwilling to be vulnerable. But without vulnerability, we can’t get the love and intimacy we want. Quite the pickle.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

3 months

@Theholisticpsyc During an impossible conversation the other day, I found myself somewhat in a frozen state. Instead of running from the discomfort, I attended to something I needed to do while staying present for what it felt like to be stunned. Within a short period of time I was mostly back

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

9 days

I didn't ditch my life to find peace. I didn't quit my job, move to Thailand, or leave my family. All I did was wake up early to meditate. That small step changed everything. Stop trying to escape to a new life. Embrace the one you have.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 years

@Theholisticpsyc Safety is the foundation for intimacy. Without safety, there's no possibility for honest conversations. If your partner makes fun of you or makes you feel bad for being vulnerable, run. Seriously. A relationship is only as safe as the least mature person.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

17 days

Here's how I regulate my emotions: I don't. 90% of regulating emotions comes from my efforts before the heat of the moment. This includes sleep, nutrition, exercise, stretching, meditation, walks, and challenging but rewarding projects. For the other 10%, I rely on awareness.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

The more you accept yourself, the less you seek acceptance from others.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 years

@Theholisticpsyc This validates all that I've learned about emotions, thank you Nicole. I used to be profoundly emotionally immature. Had no idea what I felt, and I reacted or bottled up and exploded. So I studied and practiced intensively. Emotional intelligence will change your life.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

5 months

@Theholisticpsyc I know from first-hand experience the profound negative effects of emotionally immature parents. All parents mean well, but when they yell and scream, children learn to react to life rather than respond. Becoming emotionally mature is extremely difficult, but with the right

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 month

We forgive, not to condone another person's behavior, but to free ourselves from the emotional imprisonment of resentment.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

5 months

@Theholisticpsyc Anyone who has spent time around financially comfortable parents will know this to be true. Just because they have the emotional intelligence (EQ) to survive and thrive in the corporate world says little about their ability to be constant, loving parents.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

6 months

"You're such an idiot!" Why you're so mean to yourself and what to do about it: - THREAD -

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

@Theholisticpsyc It is. We’ve all been conditioned to talk about safe topics like weather, sports, and work. Those conversations are fine, but they aren’t meaningful and don’t fulfill our heart’s longing for connection. For that, we need to talk about the stuff we avoid talking about - fear

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 years

@Theholisticpsyc Wonderfully helpful tweet. I was terrified of my anger and suppressed it for years. It controlled me. So I got curious and started paying attention to it. I saw it bubbling up and the triggers. I relaxed, breathed and began responding rather than reacting You can too.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

3 months

@Theholisticpsyc The people in our lives need to be emotionally stable enough to be reliable. If they can’t handle the little daily frustrations, how can we count on them to handle the inevitable big challenges? It puts a burden on us to always be the stable and mature one, which is unfair

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

Putting up walls is easy. Being vulnerable is hard.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 years

@Theholisticpsyc You nailed the young me. Took years to understand why I was so angry and years more to dissolve the rage. My sister reflected, "You always seemed so angry then, and I never understood why." Everyone is challenged with anger, or even rage, but you can heal it with effort.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

14 days

@Theholisticpsyc My heart goes out to men whose fathers abandoned them. It has been said that humans only know how to cope with pain and suffering through sensory pleasures: Smelling fresh-baked bread, tasting tiramisu, hearing Mozart, seeing a sunset and feeling the contact of another

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

12 days

Self-acceptance is the highest form of self-care. It's about discovering, embracing, and appreciating your unique expression in this human form. When you embrace yourself, you awaken a deep, unshakable sense of okayness that transcends the shifting sands of daily life.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

The paradox of thoughts: The less you think, the smarter you become.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

Everyone hates perfect people. Be silly Be awkward Be imperfect When you're unapologetically human, you give others the freedom to be themselves. And that? It's magnetic. People are drawn to authenticity.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

What are perfectionists afraid of more than anything? Shame. They will do anything, including people-pleasing, lying, and compromising their integrity to ensure you never see what an awful, horrible human being they believe they are behind their mask.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

Once you start liking yourself, a curious thing happens. •You begin to appreciate people instead of resenting them. •You begin to move toward people, not away. •You begin to seek deep, meaningful connections and avoid superficial ones. In short, you become more extroverted.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

Once you begin trusting your own wisdom, you stop looking outward for answers and start looking within.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

The more relaxed yet alert you are, the more creative and insightful you become.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

11 months

Those who understand themselves most win.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

We're born whole & complete. But childhood conditioning convinces us we're lacking. Like beggars, we spend our lives trying to fill the hole in our hearts with money, achievements, and fame. It never works. Our marriage blows up. Finally, we start looking for answers within.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 years

@Theholisticpsyc Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes: “You can't talk your way out of a problem you behaved your way into!” ― Stephen R. Covey

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 months

When babies are repeatedly scared and emotionally overwhelmed without soothing, their brains and bodily systems become hyper-alert. The survival brain senses threats everywhere and works too hard, too often, for too long. Sadly, this is not something they can ‘just grow out of'

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

11 months

You don’t have to change before you can accept yourself. You have to accept yourself before you can change.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

3 months

Your feelings are never wrong.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

Being heard is being loved. Offer your ears, not your opinions.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 month

When you truly start to like yourself, everything changes: •You find appreciation for others instead of resentment •You're drawn toward people rather than away •You seek meaningful connections and steer clear of small talk In short, you become more people-oriented.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

@Theholisticpsyc When you expect too much out of another person, you suffocate them. When you get some of your needs met by others, you free this person from the responsibility to meet all of your needs. Giving them space allows them to choose rather than feel obligated.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 days

Meditation is wild. Sitting quietly with only your thoughts, images, feelings and physical sensations. Meditation might feel like a waste of time, but the contentment and clarity it offers are worth every effort. Keep at it.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

Nobody likes perfect people. Lord knows I tried. • Be playful • Be awkward • Be imperfect When you're unapologetically yourself, you give others the freedom to be themselves. And that's magical. Authenticity attracts, perfection repels.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

3 months

Much of healing is about learning to reveal our true, unmasked selves. The more you reveal your shadows, the less you have to hide, the freer you are to express your authentic self, and the deeper your relationships. Drop the mask and take back your life.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

3 months

I avoided therapy. Even after years of yoga, meditation and deep inner work. It felt like admitting I was flawed. After a teacher suggested therapy, I went. I shared my childhood sorrows and cried while the therapist listened. Turns out I'm not flawed. 𝘐’𝘮 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

Putting up walls is easy. Being vulnerable is hard.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

3 months

The more perfect you think your childhood was, the more inner work you have to do. Trust me, I know.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

15 days

6 non-obvious signs you reject yourself: 1. You apologize nonstop 2. You get defensive easily 3. You never admit you're wrong 4. You complain about everything 5. You never express your feelings 6. You focus on what you can't control Self-acceptance starts with self-awareness.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

Did you know you can rewire your brain? Meditation strengthens connections to the prefrontal cortex. And weakens wiring to the amygdala. Goodbye mood swings, hello emotional stability. Meditate and see for yourself. As they say, what fires together wires together.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

Perfectionism is driven by shame. It's time to break free. Each day, instead of aiming for perfect, aim for progress. Tiny improvements over time lead to personal transformation. Perfection is an illusion, progress is real.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

Life is a marathon yet the only person you're running against is yourself.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

The harder you are on yourself, the harder you are on others.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

3 months

Self-care and self-kindness aren't just about taking baths, getting massages, or gentle yoga. Real self-care involves consciously noticing long-term patterns of self-neglect or self-criticism and cultivating the awareness to change them.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

7 months

Forget perfection, seek sincerity. Forget mere beauty, trust your inner knowing. Forget argument-free, find someone open to honest conversations.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

11 months

Lighten up. You're the only one taking yourself seriously. Seriously.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

@Theholisticpsyc Genius illustration of an all-too-common relationship dynamic. As hilarious as it is painful. Thank you. 🙏✨ May we all learn to navigate our complex and different ways of perceiving.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

@Theholisticpsyc A partner who can handle the truth and won't judge you for revealing yourself and your darkest dimensions is priceless. That's trust.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

Yesterday, a bumper sticker read, "Be positive." Terrible advice. Why? Because we can't make ourselves be positive, any more than we can make ourselves attracted to someone. If you want to be positive, practice gratitude.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

1 year

Emotions can't be selectively muted. Numbing pain also numbs joy.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

5 months

Self acceptance is the highest form of self care.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

Trauma leads to seeking external validation and pleasing others while neglecting your own needs. Healing teaches that others' emotions, insecurities, and inner wars are not yours to regulate, manage, and "walk on eggshells" around. Heal your wounds. Find your freedom.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

2 months

I used to feel broken inside. It drove much of my self-destructive behavior. I tried every self-improvement method to fix my "flaws," but nothing worked. I still felt defective. It wasn't until I healed the root cause—childhood shame—that I learned to accept and love myself.

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@RDelaney

Ryan Delaney

4 months

@Theholisticpsyc Underneath all our behaviors lies a deep and undeniable longing for belonging.

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