Proper Facts Profile
Proper Facts

@Proper_Facts

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Stupid made up facts from stupid people.

Da Intanetz
Joined October 2010
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@Proper_Facts
Proper Facts
6 years
In the North West of England, Kylian Mbappe is known as Kylian Mbarmcake.
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@Proper_Facts
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4 years
In the North West of England, Kylian Mbappe is known as Kylian Mbarmcake.
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@Proper_Facts
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3 years
In the North West of England, Kylian Mbappe is known as Kylian Mbarmcake.
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@Proper_Facts
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3 months
The 47 tattoo on Phil Fodens neck is to commemorate his highest break at Hazel Grove snooker club
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4 years
The same person who counted the Government’s 100,000 test figures , does the original RRP at TK Maxx
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3 years
More people played bass in The Fall than voted for Laurence Fox
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4 years
The Stone Roses are named after a bar in York.
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3 years
Matt Hancock's sister has a 60% stake in the European Super league
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Proper Facts
3 years
Remember to leave a saucer of Monster out tonight for Goths who had just woken up from Summer hibernation.
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7 years
Paint watches Ed Sheeran dry.
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6 years
Ahead of his visit to Manchester, Kylian Mbappé has changed his name to Kylian Mbarmcaké.
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2 years
Rishi Sunak waters his plants with San Pellegrino.
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4 years
Frank Lampard is the only Tory to be sacked since the start of the Covid pandemic.
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1 year
Glastonbury is filmed in September the week after Jools Hollands hootenanny .
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4 years
Ian Brown thinks the moon landing was filmed at Granada Studios.
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5 years
Superdry takes its name from how it makes all women feel on seeing a man wearing it.
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3 years
Pint sized fascist Tommy Robinson has had his Quad bike repossessed by Bright House
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4 years
Everton’s notorious hooligan firm The County Rd Cutters . Always take their litter home after a rumble .
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9 months
Tommy Robinson used to have a box at Luton Town FC. To stand on. The fucking shortarse.
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3 years
Contrary to her surname, Kerry Katona is not a cat owner.
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5 years
Bbc Question Time have already booked the Bulgarian racists .
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7 years
The Pyramid stage is based on the Co-op building in Stockport.
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7 years
Peter Hook now operates a toll system on the ‘Joy Division bridge’ in Hulme. It costs £5 to walk across it, plus an additional £10 for a photo. He will however tell you that ‘Bernard is a twat’ for free.
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3 years
Omicron B is an anagram of Ian Brown.
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6 years
The Arctic Monkeys only have one song. It’s called ‘D’Ya Fancy it Brenda, Or What’ and it’s 90 minutes long.
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3 years
Saudi Arabia is now selling crude oil in giant Sports Direct mugs
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4 years
Matt Hancock sleeps in a racing car bed.
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6 years
Happy Mother’s Day
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3 years
Nicolas Witchell has now been awake for a longer period than Bez was in the 90s .
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4 years
Boris Johnson has today surpassed Shannon Mathews record for hiding under a bed .
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6 years
Jools Holland’s real name is Julian Netherlands.
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6 years
Sergio Ramos parks his car over two disabled bays
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4 years
Priti Patel does the original RRP at Tk Max
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5 years
Paul Pogba is the daughter of former England midfielder Carlton Palmer.
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3 years
Chesterfield FC have launched an urgent appeal for fans to raise funds to ensure their players can go to Alton Towers as a reward for reaching the FA Cup 3rd round.
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6 years
Piers Morgan has a hacked phone tattoo on his leg
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4 years
Anyone over 50 , who has worn Stone Island in the last two years is considered to be too hard for the Covid Vaccine , and will have to go to the back of the queue .
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3 years
When asked by President Putin for her favourite Tolstoy quote . Liz Truss replied To infinity and beyond
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3 years
Sheep count Danny Murphy
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4 years
Wigan Athletics new Spanish owner , was gored in the leg by a bull . But doesn’t like to talk about it .
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3 years
Frank Lampard's hair dye is the same shade as Rio Ferdinand's beard dye .
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3 years
When Jacamo announce their summer sale.
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6 years
The first episode of Countryfile was aired in July 1988. Since then, exactly the same episode has been shown over and over again and no one has noticed.
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4 years
Wearing a black North Face jacket shields you from 5G phone mast radiation .
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5 years
Rebekah Vardy’s Instagram password is ‘password’.
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6 years
British weather is so hot . The government has issued a degree , allowing middle aged Casuals to unbutton the top button of their Lacoste polo shirts .
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7 years
LinkedIn is actually a dating website for people who vote Conservative.
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4 years
Donald Trump is allowed to wear his own clothes and bring a game in tomorrow.
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5 years
Newcastle United club doctor , Esther McVey . Has declared Andy Carroll fit for work .
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4 years
The person who valued Sir Keir Starmer's donkey sanctuary also does the RRP at TK Maxx.
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3 years
A pint of Beavertown craft ale is only £2.50 but they charge you £5 for the glass you pinch .
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3 years
If you play an Adele album backwards . She gets remarried and lives happy ever after
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3 years
The clocks go forward this weekend, except in Burnley, where they haven't moved forward since the 1970s.
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2 years
The energy generated from Liam Payne's jaw could power Wolverhampton.
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6 years
The person who works out the street value of drugs , also works out the original prices at Tk Max
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5 years
Nazi midget , Tommy Robinson , buys his jeans from Lidl .
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5 years
Cocaine users - only 4 sleeps until Christmas!
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3 years
Robbie Savage has a loyalty card for Dorothy Perkins.
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3 years
The hopeless place in which Rihanna found love was Burnley, Lancashire.
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5 years
'Dario Gradi' is Sicilian for 'Gary Glitter'.
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5 years
Hacienda Gin , is distilled using water from the Manchester ship canal and flogged dead horses .
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4 years
Frank Lampard was once the Vice Chairman of the Young Conservative Party.
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6 years
Elon Musk claims he’s invented a machine that can stop Peter Hook and Bernard Sumner arguing about money for as long as 15 minutes.
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4 years
The first 24 hour vaccination centre is to be opened by Shaun Ryder and Bez .
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4 years
Tommy Robinson has been spotted panic buying poppies.
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5 years
Prof Brian Cox has today unveiled the only constant in the universe . Ruby Turner is on Jools Holland tonight .
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1 month
In the North West of England, Kylian Mbappe is known as Kylian Mbarmcake.
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3 years
Piers Morgan has joined Mumford & Sons
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7 months
Tranmere Rovers demotion to Division two in 2021 was decided by the Horizon computer .
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7 years
Mark E Smith of The Fall is the only person to have both played at Glastonbury and been glassed in Bury.
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5 years
Pint sized , rabble rouser Tommy Robinson. Has planned his demo at Salford Quays , so he can take his Stone Island Junior jacket back to the outlet centre .
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3 years
Scott Parker buys his clothes from Oak Furniture Land.
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3 years
Tommy Robinson is currently listing all of his Stone Island on eBay.
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2 years
Lurpak is now worth more than a kilo of cocaine stuffed inside a Build A Bear .
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7 years
Mick Hucknall is Ed Sheeran's mum.
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3 years
Matt Hancock wore his school uniform on non-uniform day.
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6 years
The Official Central Manchester Big Coat Committee has decreed that it is acceptable for Oasis Dads to undo the top flap of their Massive Eff Off Coats by two inches during the current heatwave, but only between the hours of 1pm and 2pm.
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3 years
More people watched The Sex Pistols at the Lesser free trade hall , than voted for Laurence Fox
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3 years
There's no measured unit of time faster than it takes a Liverpool fan to get a banner made .
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7 years
Legendary Manchester United hit man Denis Law has a daughter called Sharia.
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5 years
Everyone in the Crystal Palace Ultras group has a girlfriend nobody has ever met who lives in Canada.
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6 years
The first nightclub to play ‘Acid House’ music was The Bamboo Club in Hazel Grove in 1979.
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11 months
The Ryder Cup is named after Happy Mondays frontman Shaun
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5 years
A new dating show for vain , vapid football hooligans has been announced. Love Stone Island , begins tonight .
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3 months
Sunderland have declared in the General Election
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4 years
Tim Westwood once took part in a drive-by shooting involving a musket.
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3 years
Heinz 57 are a group of Wiganers wrongly jailed for a 1970s pub bombing .
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7 years
Chris Rea has just set off.
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4 years
Sunderland has just declared in the US Elections.
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7 years
Fergus Beeley once kicked a dolphin to death.
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2 years
Richard Keys is Hasbulla's Grandmother.
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7 years
Donald Trump has create global outrage by recognising that Stockport is in Greater Manchester and not Cheshire.
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5 years
Sam Al Adyce has been named as the new leader of ISIS
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3 years
No one has bought a new gift bag , for a wine bottle since the first one was sold in 1983 .
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6 years
Pep Guardiola buys all his clothes from Sue Ryder in Ashton-under-Lyne.
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3 years
Matt Hancock was promoted to Minister for Social media this morning.
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5 years
Tommy Robinson gets his hair cut at Sports Direct.
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5 years
The death of Neil Innes of The Ruttles , leaves Oasis as the only Beatles parody band .
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3 years
Jordi Alba is Newcastle based Gaelic television channel
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10 months
The Rugby World Cup has lasted longer than The Falklands war
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