Productive Outs @ProductiveOuts Twitter profile

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Productive Outs

3 years

We're not sure if we're proud or ashamed of this compilation of names we've dropped since 2018 or so, but here you go. Tag yourself.

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Productive Outs

@ProductiveOuts

8 months

Please sign our petition to replace all radar guns with A Guy Hauling Ass On A Motorcycle.

Rob Friedman

@PitchingNinja

8 months

Bob Feller, 104 mph Mechanics (Flat Ground, On Pavement, In Business Attire). Allegedly. 😉

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@ProductiveOuts

4 months

We don't talk about this nearly enough.

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

At this very moment Mike Trout has 69 at-bats and is hitting .420.

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

SOURCE: The Seattle Mariners have signed 17-year-old 1B/DH Marlboro Jesus, one of the top players from Puerto Garbanzo.

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@ProductiveOuts

10 months

Congratulations to the A’s.

Jon Morosi

@jonmorosi

10 months

Yoshinobu Yamamoto has a strong desire to pitch on the biggest stage in @MLB , according to people familiar with his thinking. @MLBNetwork

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

SOURCE: The Cincinnati Reds have traded RHP Luis Castillo to the Los Angeles Angels for a prospect package including OF Broyce Dampslacks, 3B Kermit Huge, 2B Proctor Romantico, LHP Brief Warmth, + PTBNL.

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

The Yankees: The COVID vaccine is a personal choice, and sure … it’s gonna cost us some wins and put the health of our players and staff and their families at-risk, but what can you do? Also The Yankees: ABSOLUTELY NO BEARDS. THIS IS NON-NEGOTIABLE.

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

Albert Pujols got released before Mickey Callaway.

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@ProductiveOuts

10 months

Simply in awe at the size of Bochy’s dome. Planetary.

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@ProductiveOuts

1 year

SOURCE: The Pittsburgh Pirates are expected to select RHP Fudge Conundrum with the #1 overall pick in todays MLB Draft.

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

Jonathan India is wearing .... shorts?

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@ProductiveOuts

6 months

My daughter told me Tyler O’Neill looks like Bilbo Baggins yesterday and now I can’t unsee it.

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@ProductiveOuts

1 month

Shohei Ohtani has hit more homers today than Anthony Rendon has hit since May 17, 2022.

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@ProductiveOuts

5 years

BREAKING: The Miami Marlins have signed Italian free agent 1B Giglio Babagucci, and Cuban RHP Numberto Pencíl.

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@ProductiveOuts

4 years

SOURCE: The Los Angeles Angels are finalizing a deal to send Mike Trout to the Philadelphia Phillies for CF Guantanamo Watkins, RHP Juandelisté Barbisol, 2B Quinn Honky, and C Thadley Stork. Cash considerations expected to be a large part of the deal as well.

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@ProductiveOuts

6 years

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@ProductiveOuts

6 years

HOW THE HELL DOES A GUY WHO DID SOMETHING LITERALLY NOBODY HAS DONE IN LIKE A HUNDRED YEARS OR EVER BEAT OUT A GUY WHO HIT 27 BOMBS IN A BAND BOX FOR AL ROY?!?!

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

I would just like to take a moment to thank John Smoltz for making me feel like I’m watching the NLCS with my uncle who hates everything and thinks his JV season in 1981 was the best thing that ever happened to baseball.

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@ProductiveOuts

7 years

To be fair, they probably couldn’t see each other because of all of that sick camo.

Hannah Keyser

@HannahRKeyser

7 years

YOU'RE ON THE SAME TEAM

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@ProductiveOuts

5 years

please rethink this

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

SOURCE: The St. Louis Cardinals have signed free agent 1B Husk Tenderloin to a two-year $15.5m contract.

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

SOURCE: The Angels, Yankees, Red Sox, Giants, and Dodgers are interested in free agent RHP Domingo Bothmeats.

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

SOURCE: The Los Angeles Angels have signed free agent SS Lumbar Fandango to a two-year, $12.345M contract.

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

MFW I Remember A Guy

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@ProductiveOuts

5 years

Verlander throwing the ball off his own shin was an homage to Houston’s PR department

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@ProductiveOuts

4 years

Joe Maddon is fascinating. By all accounts he is brilliant and charismatic and his players love him, but he also just can't shut the fuck up when shutting the fuck up is in everyone's best interest. He's like Icarus, but instead of flying too high it's the sound of his own voice.

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

SOURCE: The San Francisco Giants have recalled 1B Buke Fungus and RHP Gualacomé Durango from AAA Sacramento. Both will be in uniform for tonight's game with the Dodgers.

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

The Braves would be such a compelling story and easy team to root for if it weren’t for the chop, and the stadium thing, and the exclusion of LGBTQ+ in a league-wide anti-bullying campaign, and the anti-vaxxer singing the anthem before Game 6, and and and

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

QUIZ: How many of these players can you name?

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@ProductiveOuts

6 years

Please take a moment out of your busy shitposting schedule to revel in the majesty of this stunning 1972 Sal Bando, complete with sub-jersey windbreaker, random undershirt color, pornstache, nascent Mars Volta hair, and at hat that he found underneath a couch cushion.

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

SOURCE: The St. Louis Cardinals have reportedly signed free agent right-hander Christian Megachurch to a one-year/$6.66M contract.

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@ProductiveOuts

11 months

Furiously filling a diaper in the press room at the Winter Meetings as I chastise the best baseball player on Earth for making the biggest decision of his life on his own terms instead of following the script of my fan fiction.

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@ProductiveOuts

10 months

SOURCE: Additional rules for the 2024 season include: - two dozen wolves released from visiting bullpen in the top of the 8th inning - fourth and fifth base introduced if a team is leading by 5 or more runs after the 6th - ownership’s political donations displayed on jumbotron

Jesse Rogers

@JesseRogersESPN

10 months

News: MLB competition committee approves changes for the 2024 season including: -18 sec clock with runners on -4 mound visits, down from 5 -If a P starts to warm up before an inning, he must face at least one hitter. -The runner’s lane to first has been widened to the inf grass

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@ProductiveOuts

4 years

The Angels have left 24 men on base. They’re in midseason form.

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@ProductiveOuts

8 years

this rules so hard

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@ProductiveOuts

1 year

We prefer Phil Collins Cabrera.

MLB Trade Rumors

@mlbtraderumors

1 year

Blue Jays Acquire Génesis Cabrera From Cardinals

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

@ctrent The only gag here is the cease and desist our lawyers are gonna serve ya, partner.

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

You have to start holding umps accountable for shitting the bed like that. That was brutal. - RB

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@ProductiveOuts

6 years

Can’t wait to see who goes #1 in tomorrow’s #MLBDraft !

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

Thinking about finishing 72-90, in fourth place in the AL West.

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

You try to run with scuba fins on.

Foolish Baseball

@FoolishBB

3 years

he's a freak. he's the fastest kid alive.

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

SOURCE: The San Francisco Giants are nearing a deal with free agent reliever Broth Goblin.

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@ProductiveOuts

6 years

moron with the glove touched a live ball that was headed for the corner and cost the home team a run. his girlfriend/wife/a total stranger is absolutely unloading on him

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@ProductiveOuts

8 months

Two balls, no strikes.

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@ProductiveOuts

1 year

Zack Greinke said it best.

Eno Sarris

@enosarris

1 year

Sounds like what canceled the GM meetings was the Noro Virus so I have one question and one question alone... who touched poop and didn't wash their hands

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@ProductiveOuts

5 years

It’s wild that Juan Soto won’t even be born until the year 2029

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

Y'all like fonts?

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@ProductiveOuts

5 years

Man, these MLB Food Fest dishes are wild.

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@ProductiveOuts

6 years

nice slash line

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@ProductiveOuts

10 months

Psst. Any team can do this. Instead of getting mad at the Dodgers … maybe get mad at your favorite team?

Jeff Passan

@JeffPassan

10 months

Shohei Ohtani's $700 million contract calls for him to be paid only $2 million a year for the next 10 seasons, with $680 million deferred until the end of the deal, sources confirm to ESPN. The CBT hit on the contract is going to be around $46 million, a huge discount for L.A.

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

SOURCE: The Astros are close to acquiring left-handed starter Pelvis Faygo from the Royals in exchange for minor league IF Breath Clemens and cash.

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@ProductiveOuts

4 years

SOURCE: MLB insists it will continue to furiously stomp its own balls in plain view.

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@ProductiveOuts

7 years

Sick pit at the Metallica show yesterday.

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@ProductiveOuts

10 years

Glitch? #perfection RT @Matlockandkey : @ProductiveOuts RT @Street_Eater : The greatest technical glitch of all time... http://t.co/XX6uAooiuQ

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

@david_j_roth Gotta love that these dudes will gladly triple their dose of a pre-workout made of trucker speed and powdered Clydesdale nards that some guy named Lazer makes in his detached garage in Florida just to get through the tail end of a roadie, but take a vaccine? Nah, man.

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@ProductiveOuts

10 years

"Hey, Madison ... 'member the time you totally dominated the World Series? That was awesome." #chevyguy

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@ProductiveOuts

4 years

Jeff Mathis has had a job in the bigs for 15 years and has a career war of 0.0 and an OPS+ of 48.

Peter Burns

@PeterBurnsESPN

4 years

What's your favorite random sports stat that blows your mind every time you see it?

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@ProductiveOuts

6 years

when you definitely understand how shit works

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

@ctrent Needs to trade Castellini.

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

His name is Shohei Ohtani.

Chris Cotillo

@ChrisCotillo

2 years

Chris Sale: “I acted like an idiot last night and I’ve acted like an idiot before. “It’s who I am. It’s what makes me a big leaguer. It’s what makes me good at my job. It might not be the best for the public eye but what is? Who’s perfect. Name him. I’d like to shake his hand.

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

You’ll be receiving a call from our lawyers shortly.

Baseball America

@BaseballAmerica

3 years

We ranked the 50 best names in college baseball. The full list, in all its glory ⬇️

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@ProductiveOuts

5 years

There’s a lot to unpack here.

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@ProductiveOuts

4 years

what if I want to wear all the hats but only have one head

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@ProductiveOuts

11 months

SOURCE: Shohei Ohtani will sign at some point in the future according to someone with knowledge.

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@ProductiveOuts

7 years

Hearing that 3B Lucho Pechuga, RHP Rooney Prosciutto, C Dander Pile, and SS Trazier Flavorway are headed to MIA in the Stanton deal.

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@ProductiveOuts

7 years

FUN FACT: Home plate was called “fourth base” until 1983, when California Angels OF Juan Beniquez noticed that it kinda looks like a house.

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@ProductiveOuts

6 years

that's gotta be a world record for projectile vomiting

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@ProductiveOuts

5 years

MVP OBVIOUSLY, inarguably means "the best player," and if you wanna jump through some logical hoops to pretend it means something else, that's fine, but you should know that your opinion is bad and wrong.

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@ProductiveOuts

1 year

This franchise’s laser sighted commitment to pure, uncut mediocrity is truly something to behold.

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@ProductiveOuts

4 years

John Smoltz, i’m begging you: please just shut the fuck up

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

Look at this sad asshole.

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@ProductiveOuts

8 months

whoops

Jeff Passan

@JeffPassan

8 months

Free at ESPN: Cody Bellinger is headed back to the Chicago Cubs, agreeing on a three-year, $80 million contract that includes opt-outs after the first and second seasons. Much more in the news story:

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

SOURCE: Rumors swirling in Anaheim that interim manager Phil Nevin could be replaced by former Coronado Horn Dogs manager Glim Chibbits if the Angels’ current skid continues.

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@ProductiveOuts

4 years

Great news for all the tactical dads out there! These’ll look great with your camo rucksack and aviators as you rendezvous with Kyle’s platoon at soccer practice, and initiate a call to headquarters to arrange a rations drop in the mess hall at 1700 hours.

Uni Watch

@UniWatch

4 years

EXCLUSIVE: MLB's Armed Forces Day caps have leaked. Full set and details here:

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@ProductiveOuts

5 years

oh you like Mike Trout? name 3 of his albums

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@ProductiveOuts

9 months

Such a tough call.

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@ProductiveOuts

5 years

My man looks like he’s running uphill through an oatmeal avalanche.

Fabian Ardaya

@FabianArdaya

5 years

Albert “Wheels” Pujols rumbles home. Need a sprint speed on this, @_dadler .

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@ProductiveOuts

5 years

if you don’t let Fernando Rodney pitch the ninth, you’re a fucking coward.

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@ProductiveOuts

6 years

BREAKING: The Yankees have acquired 3B Thance Ratamacue and RHP Shrimpy Pimento from the Pirates for LHP Hourke Wharfland

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

SOURCE: Kansas City Royals have recalled LHP Vito Pajamas from AAA Omaha.

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

When you’ve got laser-guided obsession on a singular topic, a fresh value pack of adult diapers, and a burning desire to fill ‘em all.

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

SOURCE: The San Francisco Giants are nearing a deal to acquire 2B Argon Chadparts and RHP Borbis Djent from the Texas Rangers in exchange for three mid-level prospects.

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

SOURCE: The San Diego Padres have reportedly signed free agent OF/DH Meth Frisbee to a one-year, $2M contract.

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@ProductiveOuts

8 years

mfw i walk into a porta-potty at a music festival

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@ProductiveOuts

5 years

Let's remember a guy.

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

$345 + free shipping

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

RIP to one of the greatest unis of all-time.

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@ProductiveOuts

4 years

Corey Seager is 17 for 4 tonight

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

Evergreen

Andrew Marchand

@AndrewMarchand

3 years

NEWS: MLB & Barstool Sports in significant talks to broadcast games, The Post has learned.

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@ProductiveOuts

6 years

hello i am doing a sports

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

SOURCE: The Seattle Mariners have reportedly signed OF Clark Parmesan of the independent league Abilene Frontier Squid to a minor league contract with an invite to Spring Training.

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@ProductiveOuts

7 months

We could never.

MLB Trade Rumors

@mlbtraderumors

7 months

Rockies Designate Warming Bernabel For Assignment

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Productive Outs

@ProductiveOuts

10 months

Congratulations to our 2023 Name of the Year winner, Marlboro Jesus. He joins previous NOTY winners, Domingo Bothmeats (2021) and Brief Warmth (2022) in our Hall of Names.

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@ProductiveOuts

2 years

SOURCE: The Cincinnati Reds will rest rookie 3B Organ Shithorse for 2-3 weeks with what trainers are calling “gamer’s lung”. More on this at it develops.

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@ProductiveOuts

5 years

#MLBDraft : We’d be stunned if this isn’t how the top 10 picks pan out. 1) Barth Tungsten, P 2) Coogan Cornholio, P 3) Zooks Gadsby, 2B 4) Nehromeo Latriné, OF 5) Cracy Japes, P 6) Splendid Nimoy, 3B 7) Boyce Poindexter, P 8) DJ Plops, 1B 9) Barnaby Nabisco, SS 10) Fresno Todd, C

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@ProductiveOuts

3 years

Maybe you don't like the Astros, which is fine. But you have to appreciate watching a Tony Larussa-managed team get absolutely manhandled. That's a good time no matter how you slice it

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@ProductiveOuts

6 years

Me: "I love it when baseball players show some personality and stand out!" Trevor Bauer: exists Me: "OK that's not EXACTLY what I meant...."

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@ProductiveOuts

7 years

Tomorrow’s ALDS pitching matchup, or a lesser job at the zoo?

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