The Porcelain Dalmatian Profile
The Porcelain Dalmatian

@PorcDalmatian

2,102
Followers
229
Following
11,174
Media
121,109
Statuses

Behold, I am the Porcelain Dalmatian. All with less than $146 shall bow before me, or take the rest on gift certificate

Infatroopen, MN
Joined November 2011
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
19 days
@BuckyIsotope Me, John Baron, Jim from Paris, and Abdul from the Taliban are all having cats for lunch today at Djan’s Haitian Cafe in Springfield, OH. Then we’re all going for post-birth abortions and sex changes at the local high school afterwards DM me for an invite #debate #debate2024
2
1
4
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
3 months
Trump’s ear bandage is a comical con. There were 178,000 clips of him golfing yesterday. He wasn’t wearing any ear bandage. Will the mainstream media called him out on this farce? I’m not holding my breath. #RNCConvention
76
1K
3K
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
4 years
I don't get it @Franklin_Graham . If your Orange God King @realDonaldTrump gets a pass for his lying, philandering, raping, gaslighting, racism, graft, swindling and porn-star raw-dogging, why can't your employees get a pass for being gay? Is it because you're a fraud?
Tweet media one
155
750
2K
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
2 years
TRUMP: "The nuclear secrets I stole were very secure because Mar-A-Lardo is very safe, I've got Secret Service and I know everyone who comes in." ALSO TRUMP: "I've never heard of #NickFuentes and I have no idea how he got in."
@SykesCharlie
Charlie Sykes
2 years
Trump had to know of Nick Fuentes before they sat down to dinner — he regards openly racist and antisemitic trolls as a fundamental part of his base. And now Kevin McCarthy needs allies of Fuentes to be speaker. ⁦ @saletan ⁩ is back …
30
65
205
23
250
812
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
5 months
Tweet media one
43
38
748
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
Let me get this straight: We let 90K illegal unvaccinated poor 3rd-world kids into the US, then when measles shows up we blame soccer moms?
75
557
395
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
To be fair Jeb, most of those Florida job gains went to opiate dealers, alligator wrestlers, and Russian hit men. #GOPDebate
21
129
289
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
Somebody should tell Obama that ISIS shot an unarmed black kid. He'd have 75,000 troops there by Thursday. #ISIS #CommanderHolder
27
362
329
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
5 years
Well folks, we finally did it! We're No.1! USA! Big shout-out to all the deniers, hoaxers, conspiracy theorists, @FoxNews propagandists. religious nutbags, and all around fucknuckles who got us to this point. And big-ups to our retarded Oompa Loompa President. Way to go, Don!
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
46
106
306
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Sad day for the Republic when 5 crazies can override 34 state legislatures by declaring the 14th Amend is really about gays getting married
42
247
269
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
If we want to stop sending foreign aid to places that burn our flag can we start with Berkeley? #GOPDebate
12
163
264
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Is this the Bat signal Obama uses when he needs to summon Lindsey Graham? http://t.co/zpuItnDd7m
Tweet media one
62
189
272
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
God bless Texas! If CA doesn't have to follow gun laws, why should TX follow immigration law? http://t.co/xEhgi8WDNU
38
164
251
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
7 years
Don't get mad at the knife company, Irate is a pretty rare name.
@KenJennings
Ken Jennings
7 years
This knife rack has only boys' names and my daughter is IRATE.
Tweet media one
386
276
4K
0
65
258
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
8 years
@billmaher Considering your Twitter pic, maybe you shouldn't be talking about looking like a sex offender.
9
3
181
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
If Ben Carson wants to get back in the mainstream media's good graces he better build a bomb clock quick. http://t.co/WqjEYNPV7u
33
150
205
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
5 months
@RonFilipkowski @TomArnold @RandPaul had this done, but they used his pubes #Ouch
Tweet media one
18
6
255
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
I guess the lesson here is "If a kid brings something to school that looks like a bomb, you should ignore it. Especially if he's Muslim."
33
170
193
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
I will pay $10K to any "journalist" who will ask the question below - verbatim - during a DNC debate #micdrop http://t.co/Ootnc9B864
Tweet media one
26
201
210
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
3 years
The idea that #ANTIFA would use spray paint to attack someone as obscure as @NancyMace over something as obscure as the Pro Act, in Nancy's Mace's own handwriting, without doing any real damage to Nancy Mace's house, is simply preposterous. Worst. Hoax. Attempt. Ever.
@RzstProgramming
Resist Programming 🛰
3 years
Nancy Mace is obsessed with the Pro Act.
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
Tweet media four
13
44
138
8
77
235
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Brad Pitt very upset about Costco's caged hens. Still no comment on #PlannedParenthood 's organs for sale" program http://t.co/yipYCOr0Hg
39
220
185
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Only thing more infuriating than an illegal immigrant, is an illegal immigrant who bitches about America http://t.co/qmoNp4Jtv2
20
122
161
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
8 years
Somewhere in New York, @realDonaldTrump is crying into his tiny, tiny hands. #WisconsinPrimary
Tweet media one
11
151
204
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Hey @MiaFarrow - can you tweet me the address of #PlannedParenthood 's Dr. Deborah Nucatola too? http://t.co/zDXBkG3M6R
27
147
170
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Net of #SCOTUS rulings? Your vote means nothing. Your legislature means nothing. The law means nothing. Only thing left? Civil disobedience
30
168
174
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
1 year
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
4
6
201
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
I don't think this #confederate flag ban goes far enough. Shouldn't we change the name of Atlanta to Obamagrad?
26
121
166
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Do you think there are birthers in Kenya who think Obama's secretly an American? #ObamaInKenya
32
115
154
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Guess which nation has the most restrictive immigration policy on Earth? The nation state of Vatican City! http://t.co/Q9HY5a1pcD #PopeInDC
40
182
134
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
3 years
Dude, where the fuck have you been? Some of us have been in the trenches for months already.....
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
@BuckyIsotope
Dr. Bucky Isotope, arbiter of potato nomenclature
3 years
Has the war on christmas started for this year yet? I want to make sure I sign up.
7
22
158
1
28
185
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
No matter how many 1,000s of Muslim terror attacks occur each year around the world, @CNN still stumped! http://t.co/snmA4ERDPM
Tweet media one
70
205
148
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
I bet if we dug up the authors of the 14th Amendment they'd be shocked to discover their law about freeing slaves is actually about sodomy!
24
155
154
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
If you wonder who @AnnCoulter and @realDonaldTrump critics think are coming here illegally, here ya go! http://t.co/VrtosNV4Ww
Tweet media one
67
176
139
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
7 years
@ddale8 @TheRickWilson It's OK, Rasmussen still has #RoyMoore at + 264%
7
20
164
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
5 months
@SykesCharlie Cut him some slack, @SykesCharlie . Toddlers need routines. Getting up before 11 AM and having a different diaper change time can be very discombobulating. Also, no juice boxes allowed in the courtroom. Add in the Adderall shortage, and you’ve got a recipe for an epic meltdown
5
16
175
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
3 years
If @NYGovCuomo really assaulted that many women, there's only (2) jobs left for him: @FoxNews host @GOP Presidential Candidate
5
14
164
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
5 months
@ShannonBream Why in the world would you fly an American flag upside down because a neighbor insulted you? It makes absolutely no sense. Worst. Excuse. Ever.
9
21
169
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
Memba kids, it's is never never never never OK to insult the first daughters, Never never never. Wait?! What?! http://t.co/46V6Sjx1Sk
Tweet media one
13
162
148
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
12 years
To be fair to Obama, the other countries had better golf courses than Israel. #debate
39
889
153
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
I just dismantled my coffee maker and shoved it in a backpack. Where the hell is my @facebook job, Zucky? #ClockGate
18
100
133
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
80% of voters back Voter ID, so why do the Dems go apoplectic? B/C voter fraud is the linchpin of their election plan http://t.co/2ru7eZbgN4
24
126
134
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
This just in: Obama retaliates for SONY hack by de-friending Kim Jong Un on Facebook. (Castro still a friend).
6
183
140
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
Just ordered the Al Sharpton Latte at @Starbucks . It's 2 espresso shots & milk, topped with a pile of steaming bullshit. And it costs $5,326
21
120
134
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Jeb's 'line should have been "I'm Jeb Bush and I'm adopted"
15
55
112
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
5 months
@JRubinBlogger And yet again he’s topping the news cycle. Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump is all we ever talk about. No room to cover the ACTUAL President.
10
19
152
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
I imagine that getting "Ready For Hillary" is a lot like getting ready for your colonoscopy. #ReadyForHillary
17
105
122
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
With pro-Obama rhetoric like this, can't we just tell @JebBush not to bother showing up to Wednesday's debate? http://t.co/ZGaBSI7cwl
25
74
105
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
6 years
@oliver_drk Sadly, I moved all my #Bitcoin into RogerStones #sigh
Tweet media one
0
2
114
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
FBI - Now that you're done investigating #hastert 's dalliances from 20 years ago, can you move on to LOIS FUCKING LERNER???!! #IRS
17
86
112
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
3 years
@TheRickWilson - I belive he calls his home the "Ram Ranch"
@TheRickWilson
Rick Wilson
3 years
Did you adopt a nom de porn later in life, or did your parents hate you at birth?
72
48
880
9
5
119
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
5 years
Hey @SykesCharlie #QuarantineLife would go by a lot faster for all of us if there was a 24/7 Eli puppy-cam. I’m just sayin’……….
2
12
127
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
2 out of 3 Hispanics OPPOSE immigration increase! http://t.co/45yvhYdKU9
16
90
86
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
Have to admit, I'm with her on this one…. #Hashholes #TroopsNotTwitter http://t.co/4of0RC8cCl
Tweet media one
18
144
106
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
Sorry Wisconsin Unions. 3 strikes, you're out! #prisonbitched #walker2014
5
62
105
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
7 years
@benshapiro I like "L'il Kim"
8
6
108
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
11 years
Like Obama, I look at George Zimmerman and think, "That could have been me getting my head bashed in 14 years ago....." #SelfDefense
30
238
97
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
2 years
These are the very same people who were raging against at-home learning during #COVID . Foaming at the mouth. KIDS NEED TO BE IN SCHOOL! A friendly reminder that the Right has zero principles. It's all a disingenuous grift.
@FDRLST
The Federalist
2 years
Tragedies Like The Texas Shooting Make A Somber Case For Homeschooling
4K
137
584
0
56
119
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
2 clarify: Dems running a Socialist who thinks cervical cancer caused by a lack of orgasms. But WE'RE the crazy party http://t.co/I6VXlNxxaw
16
99
99
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
Back in 1934, I was offended by a particularly ribald Sluggo & Nancy strip. I responded by throwing the paper away. #ChristianResponse
12
88
104
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
I'm not saying @RollingStone 's reporting is shoddy, but they just blamed the #ParisShooting on 5 frat boys from UNC. #tooSoon
10
78
96
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
In Christianity, we just write a letter to the editor http://t.co/ZIKUYPoLp0 #religionofpeace
18
107
98
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
There will be a lot of jobs available if Bush serves 2 terms, because most Conservatives will have committed suicide. #GOPDebate
10
63
91
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
PETA attacks Down's Syndrome child for stepping on Obama's lunch. http://t.co/CW7954BLJB #perspective
21
94
82
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
I agree with @lenadunham - We should stop referring to Hillary in "gendered terms" and just go with the generic "cow" http://t.co/SMfiAORVlG
25
38
59
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
I dont' want to alarm anybody, but @CNN is breaking that Ted Danson is also not Black. http://t.co/vxvyKGjcb4 http://t.co/yPG2NXOZhm
Tweet media one
31
75
86
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Libs final find illegals they DON'T love: The ones taking slots at their kids' fancy schools! http://t.co/NRSYPs5NJC
12
88
71
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
Obama: "ISIS is not Islamic - that's why the 'I' stands for 'Islamic'" #ThroughTheRabbitHole #ISIS #ObamaSpeech
18
95
87
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
12 years
It would be nice to build a road, bridge, dam or other infrastructure but Obama's environmentalists and their lawyers never let us. #debate
41
471
94
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
2 years
Had a great time in Seattle tonight with @SarahLongwell25 , @JVLast & @Timodc at Town Hall. Had no idea the Bill Kristol Dancers would be such a great opening act!
7
11
95
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
OK, now it's getting a little ridiculous… #Hashholes #TroopsNotTwitter http://t.co/Jwy4lfl2yX
Tweet media one
39
120
89
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
Did anybody see that workplace violence in Paris today?! Man, that was some workplace violence! http://t.co/ZIKUYPoLp0 #religionofpeace
11
99
88
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
11 years
Every time I hear "The Clinton Library" I just picture 17 stacks of old Penthouse and Hustlers from the '80s and a half-eaten ham sandwhich
20
156
85
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Does anybody know if the White House Gay Bar is still open? Supposedly it's Kylie Minogue night. http://t.co/wljGClWMt0
Tweet media one
32
44
76
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
When u have 2 go all the way back to the Middle Ages 2 make your lame equivocation, maybe it's time to give it a rest http://t.co/kIRGEoD8oe
10
47
84
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Since sex and gender are merely "fluid social constructs" now, I guess we don't need Title IX. #DoneAndDone
7
81
77
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
2 years
@RichardGrenell @realDonaldTrump 3,000 Americans dying per day from #COVID while he golfed, but yeah, sounds “safe” to me……. 🤣🤣🤣
1
1
88
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
3 months
@nprscottsimon This is literally the first time in four years that the mainstream media has paid any attention to him. He’s the most ignored president of my lifetime
5
10
91
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
11 years
The Democrats new recruiting poster is out..... http://t.co/8zAmIA29cE
Tweet media one
30
177
82
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
You know Obama's in trouble when even his cheerleading section at @washingtonpost says he's full of crap http://t.co/662KYMWb4q
10
87
81
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
7 years
@TheRickWilson As a fourth-generation Angeleno, I can tell you that in LA the earthquakes cause the mud slides that put out the fires
7
12
87
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
I guess Michelle just needs a vacation… #Hashholes @TroopsNotTwitter http://t.co/E9lLPR5iim
Tweet media one
22
129
76
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
8 years
I've researched her whole history. Like her husband it's a total fabrication. Tip of the iceberg.
@politico
POLITICO
8 years
Melania Trump's RNC bio claimed she graduated college, but she actually dropped out | Getty
Tweet media one
400
4K
3K
18
63
73
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Memba kids, the solution to inner-city Black-on-Black #gunviolence is to take away a hunting rifle from a White guy in Wyoming #LiberalLogic
7
73
62
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
3 years
@RadioFreeTom @soledadobrien @TerenceBegleyNJ “If you are raising a young man, please raise them to be a monster" - @RepCawthorn 10/19/21
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
3
19
84
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Note to Kasich - the question wasn't about "love" it was about "gay marriage" #TheBigDodge #GOPDebate
21
39
73
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Do you think @RandPaul walks into his barber and says, "You know what? Just give me the Mike Brady" http://t.co/DuWamUxRtk
Tweet media one
19
45
73
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
3 years
Can you help me @SykesCharlie ? I've been scouring the TV Guide and I still can't find out which network is covering the #ReinstatmentDay ceremonies.
2
4
84
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
Worst part in the #CIA #TortureReport : They made KSM watch @MSNBC for 180 hours straight. #GenevaConvention
17
60
76
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
Just released from Pew: "Being kind to terrorists during interrogations" ranks 1,564,116th on Americans' list of priorities. #nobodycares
6
100
77
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Proof of what we've know all along: @Neilyoung is a phony douche: http://t.co/0hw15e3qRh http://t.co/uwEYy079RH
Tweet media one
26
49
73
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
2 years
@ProjectLincoln “No sloppy seconds for me. I’ll take sloppy ninths, please!”
3
2
83
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
I'm working on a new app for the Apple I-Watch that will allow it to tell time
12
65
66
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
Great news everybody! Now you can get a sanctimonious lecture on race along with your shitty acidic overpriced latte! http://t.co/nfnAkCdAaa
14
54
74
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
What would happen if Boehner worked 1/2 as hard defeating Obama's agenda as he did on passing #TPA ?
9
47
69
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
9 years
Why doesn't TX just ignore gay marriages after Obergefell the way CA ignores gun rights after Heller? http://t.co/ykw8iXsVkB
6
61
69
@PorcDalmatian
The Porcelain Dalmatian
10 years
This week might be a good time for @BilldeBlasio 's entire NYPD security detail to call in sick #CopsLivesMatter #NYPDLivesMatter
14
54
69