One adventure ends, another soon begins. Stand fast, friend, for more is yet to come. New horizons, many laughs, tearful days and burdens worth having.
First week officially done. Two C-Sections solo, helped deliver 14 other babies vaginally. Kinda crazy going from dealing with people who are on the verge of death, to helping deliver life. Shit is wild. Streams should return soon, probably tomorrow. Life is just wild right now.
I've been a bit on radio silence since the hurricane hit with bits and pieces here and there. I want to thank everyone who's been donating to the gofundme. I truly appreciate it. I'm in a bad way, I'm only okay because I've been working nonstop at the hospital.
And I just finally broke down. Finally got a place to stay for a week starting Thursday, I'll figure things out after that. Holy shit, I'm going back to my coma now.
Arrived in Miami safely. Have been in and out of sleep for a few hours. Spending time with dad and watching football. Stopped by my home earlier and emptied out the fridge. Waters have receded. I'll figure things out better when I'm caught up on a week's sleep.
Just been informed with my fellow coworkers that they're shutting down the OR and ER on Friday. We've been given 4 days notice that we're all losing our jobs. Excuse me if tell you to go fuck yourselves for the foreseeable future. I'm a little bit pissed off.
Through all the hardships I've faced since the hurricane, with the pc not working still and other issues, at least there's an end in sight. The materials to fix my roof finally arrived since I first paid in October. The money you guys go funded is finally being used. Thank you.
With the dining room patio and my bedroom sealed off, I am officially able to move back home. Home is fucked, lots to fix, but I atleast get to live in my home again. Not having to wear pants is great!!!
Suicidal thoughts? There's help you can get. Get it. Getting tired of being informed another friend has taken their life. Just reach out, please.
Thanks. Sorry for disrupting your timeline.
I love people telling me that I am never around on NoPixel all because I spent 16 hours on the server yesterday and wanted to go sleep instead of doing a bench trial. I fucking hate some of you.
Two years ago we were heroes on the front line. Now, we're disposable. Thanks for giving a fuck about the people who had to constantly bring covid with us home daily by lowering our pay, reducing our hours, and basically letting us know that we don't matter. Thanks.
At the start of the year I was at 4k followers, I made a goal to stream more this year and be at 10k followers by December. It's July, I got partnered earlier in the year and today we finally hit 10k followers. Thanks for everyone who has followed and dealt with my shit.
I get to wake up to this. Again. You promised me you'd see me after hanging out with someone in Las Vegas. You and I fucked around as cops for the last few days and talked about everything. You were excited to come to America, you booked the flight. Leave me alone.
State of emergency declared, hospital sending out emergent message to myself and other employees who have been chosen for group A to report to the hospital tomorrow when we're informed. Guess I'll spend the rest of today getting my home ready to ride the storm alone.
Was discharged a few hours ago. Am tired. All of my blood work came out great, so did my EKG. Diagnosis was kinda shit, deal with a lot of changes in my life. Chest pain ain't gonna go away for a while, broke some ribs so that's where the pain is coming from.
I survived God. +1
Okay updates from this morning :
Still ruling out heart attack
May have possibly broken ribs (no one has any idea why or how)
They think I may have been either entering or in Diabetic ketoacidosis
They admitted me at 7am, no plans of discharging me anytime soon.
It hurts to move
Everything's gone.
Everything from my failed engagement, failed relationships, my failed suicide attempts.
My old college books, my old furniture, a lot of things with good and bad memories.
It's all gone. Time for a fresh start. Ugh being on this no caffeine thing sucks ass.
I'm really fucking good at my job. Maybe I'm not a great Roleplayer by people's standards, but holy fuck am I good at what I do.
Yes, a baby peed on me 5 minutes ago.
I'm afraid that once I'm off tomorrow I'm going to just finally break down and collapse from it all. My father is letting me stay at his home down in Miami for a few days to just have a place to not have to think about any of these things immediately.
I think I'd give more of a shit about everyone complaining about NoPixel if 99 percent of them didn't constantly show up at the hospital telling my character that they took it all in the vest.
Anyways I'm sure be more verbose in a few days once I've recharged. I'm grateful to everyone who's reached out. I'll do my best to show my thanks. I'm just completely fucked and eternally exhausted at the moment. I've been working since Tuesday, can't wait to watch twitch again.
Update, hurricane made landfall. I'm taking a shower while gusts are blowing parts of the hospitals roof off. Soundtrack to the apocalypse is the Gundam Wing OsT.
My current day to day is, wake up at 530pm, shower, put on scrubs, walk into work, work until 7am, go back to sleep, repeat. I haven't done anything go relax, I haven't played games, I haven't watched YouTube. Internet is spotty and barely there.
Sexism towards anyone, sexual harassment of anyone, objectifying of anyone isn't just wrong, its super fucking lazy in RP.
Seriously, there's better insults than calling someone a bitch.
I've got meetings all day today. But once I'm home I'll stream and go over everything that's happened in the past 24 hours and where I'll go from here. This is how I get over things, I air it out and just make peace with it. See you guys later today.
I'm going to use my birthday, which I hate and don't ever celebrate, to celebrate
@LuckyMisfit
. 99% of you have no idea that she's the one who made the bathrooms all over
#NoPixel
that are being celebrated as amazing and creative. She doesn't get the attention she deserves.
Anyways, to follow that last tweet, I have two choices. I change my career, or I try and stream more and try to make streaming help me more financially, instead of it being something I do just for fun. I don't know, this shit sucks, i fucking hate everything.
I wanted to do a write up about how great Nopixel 3.0 was and how amazing my journey was, but there's too many people to thank. I did want to mention that none of it would've been possible without my friend
@nnsdev
. We both met on a different server, but he's still cringe.
(:
I haven't been streaming much because honestly I'm at a weird point in my life. I'm 33 and I don't really know what I want to do. My job is kind of, there's no way to move up, I could go back to school and move up in the world. It all kind of destroys my motivation in general. :S
I'm working as a sitter tonight. I'm watching a man get tortured constantly by different medical professionals poking and prodding him while he doesn't know who he is.
I don't want to deal with torture in rp too. Sorry.
I'm deeply humbled by the amount of support I've received during streams the past few weeks. I don't deserve it. But I do deserve some reeses ice cream. But I'm a diabetic. Sad sounds. :(
Honestly, I think 169 days was a good run. Sometimes you just gotta know when things are going in a different direction than you wanted them to go. This is going to be a fun week.
The only positive to this whole situation is that I'm alone and if I feel like it's not worth my life to risk it at a place of employment that doesn't care about me, I can evacuate I still have time. One good thing of being alone.
When I went into work
@NathanKb_
was already downed in the casino for 2 hours. I just finished a harvest of lungs, heart, kidneys, and liver and he's still down in the casino. That man's a legend, go follow him.
Paypal already refunded everything, the police department in which the person who got access to my account was notified by the fraud department, the persons address is known, the store in England that they bought almost 700 dollars worth of items is pressing charges. Happy Day.
I could go months without talking to someone, but it doesn't mean I'm not your friend. It just means that I'm a bad friend who is really bad at reaching out to people. But I'm still your friend.
I promise.
I really want a grilled cheese sandwich.
There's no way I stream today, it'll be a long one tomorrow. Every day I get told shit that makes this situation even worse. See you bright and early tomorrow. Fuck.
Sup, it's mandatory in Florida to wear a mask. Wear a fucking mask. Wear a fucking mask. Wear a fucking mask. Wear a fucking mask.
WEAR A FUCKING MASK GOD DAMN IT.
If you are scared, if you are worried, if you are panicking and need someone to talk to, you can always message me.
I will literally tell you the scariest shit in the world about coronavirus and then explain to you how none of it will actually affect you because hygiene.
We're watching a murder show, announcer says "DNA evidence will take up to 10 weeks to come back with a result"
@NikkisaRiot
immediately jumps up and yells "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE 30 DAY RULE?"
Yup, this is my girlfriend.
I'll spend all day tomorrow putting the new pc together. Then spend a few hours installing everything. Maybe a late night Christmas stream to start a new journey.
My landlord laughed when I said there was a million bees outside of my fucking front door. She drove up with her husband to look and yelled out "NOPE" and drove the fuck away.
Fuck you bees, stop holding me hostage in my own home.
It's just not funny anymore man. We can't go anywhere without being reminded someone close to us died, an acquaintance died, a mass murder happened. And tomorrow people will wake up and just go "Oh well, it's Tuesday".
I'm taking a break from roleplay. IRL comes first, it's like every single person has decided to book their surgeries now before everything is completely shut down. Fuck.
I guess I'll just make it public. I've been in, the hospital since Saturday due to an issue with my foot which turned into a sepsis issue. Just waiting to find out wtf is going on is mind numbing. Go Panthers.
Not everyone is innocent and not everyone is a victim.
Do not be afraid to share your opinion just because others may feel as if you're being antagonistic. Just speak your mind.
If you don't open your mouth how can anyone know what's going on?
So, ad incentives. I thought people would love to see what kind of offer a small
#TwitchPartner
gets when he's unable to stream for a month due to getting screwed by mother nature. (: Not like I'm able to stream currently, but still, lol.
Looking for an artist to commission who can do logos, animated emotes, and can design banners for twitch, please dm me :) /s ignorethisifyouarearealpersonthisisbotbait "
Some people want to become doctors, some people want to be roleplayers, others want to be succesful streamers.
Me? I would like to pilot a 59 foot tall bipedal mech called a Gundam.