Myrna Tellingheusen @PearlsFromMyrna Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@BossLY19

@haraldholzer

@BOOSIEOFFICIAL

@BinorRaja

@DoomPatrolShots

@angel_lina94330

@SM_NCT

@babirodriz

@BrandonPresley

@annedrewa

@HMcEntee

@Gjappy

@mixblanc1201

@t3I8I3aKGOZLzS8

@nft2000art

@hearo_live

@bokeplokalmalam

@NataliaSancha

@dezaegg

@MiNimmm888

@ramano9670

@FloofyBoomSonic

@endedbynewjeans

@migrantsorg

@weirgroup

@Maorou_K8M

@LCPiosBB

@Jinn1118

@picogram_a

@blkprotestlegal

@LThnh264527

@nuuvem

@UlsterLadies

@umsi

@Snowy_2B

@CFS_Pinatar

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

The outburst I had at JoAnn’s Fabrics is not reflective of who I am.

411

40K

124K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

Gender reveal parties are also IQ reveal parties.

99

1K

9K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

5 months

Dear Graduating Ladies, Never let a millionaire who isn’t even 30 lecture you about “staying in your lane.” Hop in your Buick, put on that turn signal, and merge onto your own highway. Sincerely, Aunt Myrna

33

992

9K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

3 years

I will not plant my begonias until I find out where that 23-ton rocket will crash land.

116

1K

8K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

2 years

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! My official Myrna Tellingheusen Digital Trading Card collection is here! These limited edition cards feature amazing ART of my life & career as executive secretary to Stanley Bogenshoots at Hughes Aircraft! Only $99 each! Would make a Christmas gift.

247

1K

8K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

Some man called me to ask if he could tweet on my account but I said no.

104

914

7K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

2 years

If the Twitter goes away l will resume my outbursts at JoAnn Fabrics.

79

1K

7K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

DO I HAVE TO TURN THIS BUICK AROUND AND RUN THE COUNTRY MYSELF

179

2K

6K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

3 years

You haven’t lived until you’ve slammed down a rotary phone.

152

834

5K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

5 years

Get you a woman who can do it all 😉

86

746

5K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

Though it takes extra effort, I clip my coupons with scallop-edge scissors to bring extra cheer to the Kohl's cashiers. GivingBack#

36

544

4K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

3 years

Oh for crying out loud. Get vaccinated.

93

666

4K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

3 years

Lois has had Covid since 1972. I know this because she’s never had taste.

57

529

4K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

Fran called. She cracked her television monitor with a fly swatter.

41

652

4K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

5 years

I do not know what Coachella is, but I hope they find a cure soon.

51

819

3K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

The road to Hell is paved with boxed stuffing mix.

96

530

3K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

I'm starting my fourth (4th) spiral notebook of people who have wronged me.

76

682

3K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

Parked in front of the Cheesecake Factory, reminiscing.

28

443

3K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

⛪️ Dear Christmas Eve Celebrants, THERE WILL BE NO SEAT-SAVING FOR YOUR TARDY HEATHEN FRIENDS. Blessings, Myrna

37

628

3K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

People would be a lot less angry if they just put more butter on everything.

68

672

3K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

I feel disappointed when obituaries don't include the cause of death.

84

379

3K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

Twitter people act as if they’ve never seen mittens and sensible parkas before.

33

371

3K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

Here comes Helen with her last-minute CVS endcap gift.

42

570

3K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

Pyrex. More dependable than any man.

68

694

3K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

Single-ply is what happens when men are left to make important decisions.

43

612

3K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

Bernice wore her new yellow shoes to church yesterday. She had neither the decency nor the self-restraint to save them for Easter.

43

483

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

I wore my blue velour jogging suit to Sunrise Bible Study to let everyone know whom they’re dealing with.

38

524

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

FEET OFF THE FURNITURE

55

262

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

Dear Young People, I don’t “throw shade.” I launch it. MT

28

576

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

I don’t care for the aesthetics of this particular Kohl’s.

28

384

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

I’m still not over Bob Barker leaving The Price Is Right.

43

543

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

It's the official campaign season, and Darlene Van der Pooten is going down! Myrna2020HOA#

87

284

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

I like stackable things, like Tupperware and grudges.

21

556

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

I never thought I’d have to add the US Postal Service to my prayer list. But here we are.

14

416

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

When you lose good people, carry their torches.

17

475

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

Miracle Whip is the Devil’s condiment. There. I said it.

103

583

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

Beto, Keto, Paleo—I can't even keep track of all these fad diets.

36

519

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

5 years

I did not drive all the way to The Cheesecake Factory to share a dessert, Helen.

35

403

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 months

WHO’S LAUGHING AT MY LANDLINE NOW, LYLE?

39

283

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

5 years

I am now carrying salad tongs to push elevator buttons.

57

570

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

With my advancing age, I like to keep my mind active by plotting revenge.

43

685

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

3 years

Please excuse me while I rage crochet.

59

389

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

Dear Chris Wallace, In the future, you are welcome to borrow my air horn.

35

306

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

5 years

Just sitting here watching my Kohl’s cash expire.

32

299

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

If a man can wear loud golf pants in public he can certainly wear a mask.

28

456

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

We would literally be a stronger nation if more people mashed their own potatoes.

46

494

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

For the love of God clean your toaster crumb tray.

66

397

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

During the virtual book club meeting, I saw my missing Pyrex lid on Helen’s counter. 😡

52

218

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

5 years

Please be quiet. I’m redeeming a coupon.

11

376

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

Not dishwasher safe? Bring it on.

14

410

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

5 years

It is NOT time for Christmas cookies. I will announce when it is time for Christmas cookies, and now is not the time.

70

387

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

5 years

Update: The “Brazilian Wax” store was not a boutique candle shop. That’s all I’m going to say.

50

329

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

3 years

I preferred “meta” when it was attached to “mucil.”

28

387

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

I have carefully color-matched my appliances in avocado green. I will not apologize for my high aesthetic standards.

30

309

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

Dear Young People, It's time to "vibe check" your elders. Use your computer wizardry to help sign them up for vaccines on the online. Try their county health departments. Grandma's landline isn't cracking it now, sweeties. Love, Aunt Myrna 🍪🍪🍪

32

411

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

Reminder: Now is the time to change out your seasonal dish towels to less Christmas-theme. cc: Margaret

30

297

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

We may disagree on many things, but everyone loves tater-tots.

49

670

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

Cast-iron is good for two (2) things —cornbread —self defense

50

455

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

I’m still recovering from finding suds on my decorative seashell soaps.

47

365

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

2 years

I will not open my recipe files until l’m certain that balloon is gone.

34

284

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

3 years

I don’t need oven mitts. I have an excellent immune system.

30

326

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

Dear Young People, No.

30

519

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

In honor of Burt Reynolds, Lyle has rented “Deliverance” for me and Fran to watch. Lyle says it’s a “romantic comedy with a twist.” GIRLSNIGHT# POPCORN#

65

349

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

Dear Young People, I believe you CAN even.

23

467

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

Janet’s peppermint bark has no bite.

20

395

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

3 years

Never trust a man who smells like livestock medication.

42

297

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

Everything is ridiculous. Have some pie.

43

537

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

My friendship with Eleanor became strained the day she used my Reader’s Digest as a coaster.

30

288

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

Margaret wore ankle weights during this morning’s mall walk. She always has to make a spectacle of herself.

22

266

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

THIS “I Voted” STICKER BETTER NOT LEAVE A STICKY RESIDUE ON MY CARDIGAN

32

347

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

I miss regular germs.

26

490

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

Rage baking.

46

376

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

Who is Keto?

100

348

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

Fran called. She wants to buy up all the Tic Tacs before they are banned.

19

356

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

Pardon me while I alphabetize my grudges.

25

479

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

5 years

January. I’m expecting a larger mall walking crowd tomorrow so I’m practicing my Pope slap.

27

239

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

The wrong people are famous.

29

306

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

We also need an emergency distribution of common sense.

19

415

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

If you can’t walk three (3) laps around the mall without succumbing to the siren call of Cinnabon, then maybe mall walking is not the sport for you. cc: Barb

23

310

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

I am looking for a way to laminate my rage.

44

524

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

I do not lose my temper. I know exactly where it is all the time.

12

536

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

5 years

I'm now wearing my whistle around my neck so I can blow it whenever someone comes within six (6) feet of me.

32

326

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

If Mr. Alec Baldwin ever tries to take my Walgreens’ parking space, I secretly will be thinking “Bring it on big man.”

37

284

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

Lyle said the (F-word) right in front of my Precious Moments curio cabinet

62

253

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

I learned long ago there’s no such thing as an honor system. Decorative hand towels always wind up damp.

27

210

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

Say NO to pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again! 🇺🇸

34

484

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

I will NOT pardon your French.

32

427

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

5 years

Fran called. She said she felt the earth shake while Mitch the Maintenance Man was checking her plumbing. I asked her not to say this again.

33

208

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

Young Grudge.

20

474

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

7 years

I am a lady. I call it Heckmann’s Mayonnaise.

28

392

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

6 years

I can tell it’s a big football sport weekend by the grocery stores’ Velveeta towers.

27

361

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

1 year

I did not join the Senior Center to hear about your pickle ball injuries.

28

167

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

We’re overdue for untrying times.

21

342

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

4 years

The person / the personality

46

108

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

5 years

This explains the fuchsia shortage at JoAnn Fabrics.

26

242

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

5 years

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If life gives you bananas, make banana bread. If life gives you another fruit, maybe it’s time to ask difficult questions about your life.

20

358

2K

Myrna Tellingheusen

@PearlsFromMyrna

3 years

Pantone colors can be so inspiring!