The nexus of the hive mind of men, where they receive their edicts, news and Male Privileges™. A parody of feminism's "The Patriarchy". Pronouns: Sir/My Lord.
Patriarchy Central is intended to be a parody of "The Patriarchy" of feminist lore, with a twist. The twist is that Patriarchy Central doesn't promote actual violence against women (or men for that matter), as feminists often suggest that "The Patriarchy" does.
Men who don't wear jackets in cold weather are doing so with the express intent of intimidating women and to make us feel like lesser beings. If you're cold and you see a man who is not wearing a jacket, then call out his toxic male masculinity and ego violence
#StopEgoViolence
Yes lady, all males get to carry the keys to The Patriarchy from birth, which is why your infant son's pants have pockets and yours don't.
~The Patriarchy
Weak women like to blame their own weaknesses on men, because believing that they're victims of a situation out of their control is easier than accepting that the problem is themselves and putting forth the effort to change it.
Blaming "misogyny" and "patriarchy" because you
All throughout history, men have had their pick of the best jobs, thanks to our influence at The Patriarchy.
Below: A night soil man who used to take away human waste to be used in fertilizer, Dunston, Lincolnshire, England, 1872.
We're having a barbecue this Saturday afternoon at The Patriarchy. There will be a row of men cooking steaks while chanting "Boys will be boys" over and over again. Root beer will also be served.
A good time for all!
~The Patriarchy
"We know what's best for you"
Men of the world: Good news! You're all getting a 10% raise in your Patriarchy checks for January.
Just another way The Patriarchy empowers you all!
~The Patriarchy
"You've never had it so good"
Here's an example of a good anomaly.
"I like men. I like them so much, I married one, and regularly tell him how much I appreciate him. According to X, this makes me anomaly. That’s an issue."
Dear men: a love letter to the unseen and underappreciated
Men's underwear is often sold in packs of 6, but there are 7 days in a week. That's rather inconvenient for those men who do laundry once a week.
We didn't create that rule, but hopefully we can change it.
~The Patriarchy
Men of the world: Good news! Your monthly Patriarchy check for May is ready. Don't spend it all at once!
Note: Check is in Patriarchy dollars. One Patriarchy dollar = US$ 0.00. Value may vary in other countries due to exchange rates.
Men of the world: Under feminism, being born male is a form of original sin. Worse, there's no absolution. No Hail Mary you can say.
Follow the way of The Patriarchy instead. And say "Hail to The Patriarchy" often, and we shall look upon you with favor.
~The Patriarchy
Oh, it's one of many stupid words that feminists use to demonize what is a normal male attraction to beautiful women.
Men are attracted to women, not "objects". It's actually rather insulting implying that there's something wrong with a normal attraction by men to women.
My vote for stupidest word invented by feminists: objectification. I have no idea what it means & neither does anyone else, least of all this faux naive actress:
The thumbnail to this video says "The Patriarchy does not exist".
We've done a great job with our disinformation campaign to get everyone to think that.
~The Patriarchy
Men: A reminder that you are to pee standing up.
And leave the toilet seat up. Your woman can jolly well put it down herself.
~Phineas Biddlefarthing, Minister of Propaganda and Disinformation for The Patriarchy
People of the world: You are to behave yourselves in 2023.
No more crime, anti-social behavior, or unshaved armpits for women. Hair buns for men are also banned.
~The Patriarchy
"Your benevolent rulers since 10,000 BC"
Men of the world: We at The Patriarchy have brought you men privilege throughout history.
Here's an example of a newspaper article about the Titanic.
~The Patriarchy
So last night I was out drinking with my Patriarchy buddies in town, having much merriment.
Then a nasty woman (probably a feminist) approached me and chastised me by saying "You're drunk!"
I replied. "And you, madam, are ugly. In the morning I shall be sober".
Men: Your monthly Patriarchy check has increased by 8.7% for January 2023 because of a rise in the cost of living.
One Patriarchy dollar is currently worth US$ 0.00. Value may vary in other currencies due to exchange rate.
(Not available to traitors to The Patriarchy.)
I'm having trouble managing The Patriarchy's disinformation and propaganda ministry as there is so much inane material being generated by feminists that it's hard to keep up with when I have a full time job as well.
Men: Good news! Your monthly Patriarchy check for May is now ready. Check is in Patriarchy dollars. One Patriarchy dollar is currently worth US$ 0.00.
Value may vary in other currencies due to exchange rates.
*Not available to traitors to The Patriarchy.