Controversial tweet, but I don't care:
If a pupil is constantly in detention, then setting detentions for that pupil is a waste of everyone's time. It isn't working and time would be better spent finding a solution that isn't punitive.
I don't care what anyone says, we must prioritise learning through play for year 1 & 2 children.
Some parents have shared they move from play in reception, to straight behind a desk in year 1. The children are crying and going home saying they hate school.
This isn't right.
Children who don't attend school are not 'school refusers' they are children who have been continuously let down by the system. They should not be punished/seen as the problem when the school environment won't adapt to suit their needs.
Please remember a young person's presentation at school can be completely different to how they present at home.
If a parent phones because their child is having a breakdown every night after school, believe them. Saying, 'there fine in school!' doesn't help.
Work WITH parents.
I'm horrified when I see schools use 100% attendance rewards.
Of course we want children in school, but it promotes a culture of attending when ill- we have sick days for a reason.
It actively goes against positive wellbeing and will continue into adulthood - make it stop!
An important tip for new teachers:
Learn the names and always be kind to cleaners, janitors, office and kitchen staff etc. in the school.
They are invaluable,will give you the best laugh and will probably help you out multiple times in a school year.
School trips for 'good' behaviour & 'good' attendance ultimately favour those children who have had safe, healthy and nurtured lives.
Those who have faced significant trauma are often excluded from wider experiences that could make a difference to their wellbeing.
A child looks after their younger siblings, ensures they are dressed, had breakfast & walked to school.
The same child is put in detention every day for being late to their school. Each day starts with a negative interaction - they know the circumstances. How is this equity?
Left my lanyard at home by mistake. The school office said they would let me into the school, but they had to take my phone off me for the day first. If I did it again, I'd be isolated from colleagues & forced to work alone with no help/interactions.
Why is this different?
If a young person presents as 'coping' in school, please don't undermine a parent who tells you their child goes home and bangs their head against the wall, screams and cries because of school.
Listen to understand.
Schools don't see the daily struggles families face at home.
Children might present as 'fine' in school, but then at home they feel safe enough to unmask. Parents then see meltdowns, tears, door slamming, dissociation...
We must always listen & show compassion & understanding.
Controversial tweet:
The summer holiday is too long. Teachers and children (parents/carers?) would benefit from more balanced holidays throughout the year.
Feels like an apt time to reshare this poem.
This is the reality for many children - not just one or two.
Just give them a pencil, smile and say, 'no problem - I'm glad you are here.'
Children putting their head on the desk during lessons is often nothing to do with 'laziness'.
Some children find colourful classes with lots of decoration, lights and noise over stimulating.
Please bear this in mind as a child might be trying to self-regulate.
Sometimes a child has to take their sibling to school whilst their parent goes for their methadone prescription. I doubt that child's priority is what your thoughts are on what they turn up to school with or without.
They have turned up - smile & say you are happy to see them.
Got no patience for the "just give them a pen" crew.
Teacher's Standard
#1
is literally to set high expectations.
If you lower the bar on something as obvious and non-controversial as "having the right equipment" it's a big old red flag for other stuff.
Adult at a meeting: oh I've forgotten my pen, do you mind if I borrow one of yours?
Other adult: Sure, no problem.
Children are human and make mistakes. Adults are human and make mistakes. Forgetting a pen is so low down on the priority list.
Just give them a pen.
Children will often unmask in their safe place with their safe person.
They may go home & display distressed behaviour that would lead to an exclusion if shown at some schools.
Many children are not 'fine'.
Listen to the parent/carer & child. Listen to understand.
Pupils won't forget the 5 minute check-ins you had with them to make sure they were okay.
They won't forget you offering tissues and choco as they cried about a friendship.
They won't forget your smile and welcome.
The behind the scenes work of a Pastoral Team is invaluable.
If getting out of bed and coming to school is a significant barrier for a child, we must not force the curriculum on them.
We must first ensure school is an environment in which they feel happy and safe.
Their wellbeing must come first.
On behaviour:
I have seen adults desperate to hold authority escalate situations with children, leading the child to swear/damage property.
In most instances with a child with SEND, distressed behaviour has been caused by the adults (usually not preparing the child for change).
Those most likely to be excluded from school:
Children with additional support needs
Care experienced children
Children experiencing poverty
We know there is a link between exclusions and prison. We know there is a link between exclusion and trauma.
Something needs to change.
Children have a right to an education.
We are not their bosses.
They are not paid to be at school.
If you are not child-centred and do not think supporting children is the first priority of a school, I would question why you have decided on a career in education.
The secret to enjoying life as a teacher?
Be kind to the children you teach.
Pupils are funny - laugh with them.
Treat every day as a new day.
Don't set impossible goals.
Be kind to yourself and colleagues.
Stay true to your values.
Curriculum MUST come after wellbeing and safeguarding. Surely that's a given?
Children cannot reach their full potential until their basic and psychological needs have been met.
Frustrated teacher: But it isn't just about the pencil though, is it? We are letting them down if we don't punish them for not being organised.
You are right. It isn't just about the pencil. They are with you and are safe at school- let's tell them we are glad to see them.
Schools using language like 'disruptive' 'aggressive' & 'confrontational' in IEPs & then further down learning the child has witnessed a murder, has no contact with mum, dad is dead & they are in and out of care.
Where is the compassion and understanding of trauma and distress?
Not just family - I also feel it in myself.
On holiday, I'm thinking, 'why did I get so stressed over that?'
Oh yeah...because I was exhausted.
2024 priorities:
- Home by 5.30pm
- Challenging the ASAP culture
- Reminding myself the job advert would be up before my funeral...
If your family have told you that it’s nice to have the ‘real you’ back while you’re on holiday, then it might be time to look at making some changes to how you approach work.
And yes, I very much need to look in the mirror on this one.
If pupils come to you to check in, then they value you and feel valued by you.
Children don't expect miracles, but they do appreciate your time and kind words.
A safe adult can be the positive change.
@MrAllington
My point is that this doesn't happen for adults in schools. We forget things all the time, and the situation is de-escalated. Yet for children some adults are quick to escalate and to create barriers to their learning on the basis of 'principle'.
Shout out to all the Pastoral Leads who:
- Comfort crying and stressed parents on the phone
- Offer choco and tissues to a pupil going through their first break up
- Try to navigate waiting lists and lack of funding
- Support children daily behind the scenes
You are amazing!
Adults must consider how their interactions with children can escalate/de-escalate situations.
As part of the teaching standards we have a duty of care for children. Teaching is much more than subject content. Understanding social justice and building relationships are key.
Pupil absences are at an all time high.
We are not going to improve this if we don't seriously look at the school environment, structure of the school day and exam system.
Schools putting the blame on families isn't helping.
We need to work with parents and the community.
'Knowing things' is not enough.
Children must be able to think critically & understand the dangers of confirmation bias.
This is why the 'just tell them' rhetoric is so dangerous. As educators we have a responsibility to prepare children for life, not just exams.
No. It's the most important part of the day.
- A form tutor can set the positive tone for the day.
- Pastoral leads can check in to see if there are any safeguarding concerns.
- It helps create a sense of belonging.
- It emphasises that school is about MORE than a curriculum.
The basic needs of a child/young person must be met before the pressure of academic performance.
A hungry child cannot fulfil their potential.
A cold child cannot fulfil their potential.
A traumatised child cannot fulfil their potential.
If a child tells you they have sensory issues, believe them.
If a child says large groups are overwhelming, believe them.
If a child tells you they feel sick with anxiety, believe them.
We might not personally relate to an issue, but that doesn't mean it isn't real for them.
We can feel pressure as Pastoral Leads to give children advice in an attempt to 'fix' a problem.
Most of the time children don't expect (or even want) advice. They just want someone to listen.
Giving children a chance to talk without interruption is supportive in itself.
Quote tweeted a tweet because I'm fed up of teachers holding children to a higher standard than adults, and I seem to have become actively involved in (and partly responsible for) pengate.
Apologies, folks! 🤣
Stop forcing children to take part in activities they don't feel comfortable with due to sensory issues, anxieties etc.
Absolutely work with them to develop strategies, but this can take time.
Forcing a child will only lead to further trauma, resentment and disengagement.
In 2023 there are teachers who think SLANT is a great classroom strategy.
These same teachers talk about toxic work places. Can you imagine their response if a headteacher demanded they frequently nod their head and track every move?
It's ableist, authoritarian and ridiculous.
If children's basic needs are not met, they will struggle with class rules.
They will put their head on the desk because they are exhausted.
They will ignore instructions because they didn't have breakfast.
They will shout back because they don't feel safe.
Remember this.
Forcing a child to have a restorative conversation when they are not ready can lead to more issues.
Humans need time to process emotions & having a 'quick fix' approach can impact negatively.
Ensure they understand what a restorative conversation is & give them thinking time.
Never underestimate what a child experiences before a school day:
The feeling of their uniform on their skin
Not having their usual breakfast
An argument with family
Someone else running late
Not sleeping
Losing something
These, and more, can make school overwhelming.
The best teachers LIKE being in the company of children.
Children feel safe & feel they belong.
This results in positive relationships - the child is more likely to enjoy school & the teacher is more likely to enjoy teaching.
You need to like children to be a good teacher.
When the system cannot get bad enough...
'Let's ensure the children without dinner, breakfast or a kind word for 13 hours + are the last to be served lunch.
That'll sort them out.'
If we don't want to be part of the solution, we are part of the problem.
A key part of my Friday is making 5 positive phone calls home at the end of the day.
It's not only great for parents/pupils, it also means I leave work in a brilliant mood! 😁 🌟
Children need adults who are willing to listen and show compassion.
They need adults who understand inclusion and the importance of equity.
They need adults who not only value children's voices, but see those voices as a priority.
Just to emphasise for those who need it...
You can have high expectations and de-escalate.
You can have boundaries and listen to understand.
My tweet focuses on adult behaviour and, unfortunately, that seems to sit uncomfortably with a lot of educators.
On behaviour:
I have seen adults desperate to hold authority escalate situations with children, leading the child to swear/damage property.
In most instances with a child with SEND, distressed behaviour has been caused by the adults (usually not preparing the child for change).
Some children don't care about your punitive sanctions.
They might be looked after with a chaotic home. They might be discriminated against daily. They might not have their basic needs met, so what difference does detention make?
Building positive relationships goes a long way.
Pastoral teams often DO have a special bond with pupils who have experienced significant trauma.
We work hard behind the scenes with parents/carers, SW and other external agencies to ensure the YP attends school.
We listen to the YP AND staff.
Don't undermine the work we do.
Huge issue. Often danger that ‘pastoral’ team believe they have a ‘special bond’ with the most difficult pupils. ‘Pastoral’ tend to advocate for pupils against staff. Don’t ask enough of pupils. Lots of pandering. Undermines adult authority.
Excellent.
Many English schools continue to let down our most vulnerable children.
It is time to ensure that a child-centred approach is the priority.
It is time to ensure our care experienced children know they belong.
It is time to ensure schools listen to understand.
The support Pastoral Leads offer is invaluable.
Some children wouldn't attend school if it wasn't for the Pastoral Lead prioritising wellbeing and relationships.
Pastoral Leads try their best to help children navigate crisis, trauma and anxiety every day.
Instead of investing in lots of external agencies, schools should consider giving their Pastoral staff the time to build relationships with children & listen.
-No classroom commitment
- Daily check-ins
- Has the time to know every child really well
Do any schools still do this?
This article is dangerous, ignorant and ableist.
School is a significant barrier for some children.
Forcing children to attend will result in further trauma and may compromise their safety.
We need to urgently look at the school environment and ensure it supports everyone.
A fantastic article. I agree with every single word.
'Many children have internalised the mistaken idea that good mental health means feeling good all the time. But discomfort is not a problem to be solved, it is a necessary part of life we must all learn to willingly endure.'
As a Pastoral Lead it really frustrates me when I see teachers with no Pastoral/Nurture/Trauma experience state that behaviour is not the result of an unmet need and they are just misbehaving.
Imagine how many more children we could support if we reversed that thought process.
Leaving a school you thrive at to go to one that knocks your confidence and leaves you feeling like you're rubbish at your job is tough going...
It really does show the school you are at makes a huge difference to the role.
What's a way to destroy trust between a family & school for children who can't attend due to issues with the school environment?
Attendance letters & fines.
There are children who will not attend until something changes with the school environment.
Threats are not the answer.
A child who goes home to trauma, chaos & loneliness may not care if you give them a 30 minute detention.
They will care if you take the time to show an interest in them, listen to them & help them navigate daily challenges.
Be the compassionate adult they can trust.
A child who does not have basic needs met cannot thrive.
We can't expect traumatised children who have not healed to learn & follow instructions.
They are in a state of distress & much more likely to take part in risk-taking than their nurtured peers.
We must keep them safe.
Above all else, children must be safe, nurtured and loved.
We cannot expect children who are hungry, cold and traumatised to follow rules and work well in class.
It requires a societal shift that is bigger than schools and bigger than communities.
Adults make choices. We must think about how we approach situations in order to best support children. We must put our ego to the side and be prepared to listen.
By reframing our own behaviour, children will have a better chance at a positive school experience.
For some vulnerable children their biggest daily hurdle is school.
Prioritise their wellbeing and don't add the pressure of subjects until they are ready.
Wellbeing before curriculum.
The need to 'muck about' and make friends laugh actually DO show unmet needs. Often seen in boys and often due to insecurity/ feeling that they need to BE a certain way to fit in. Searching for belonging, struggling with enforced masculinity.
Children are complex.
If schools stopped seeing parents as 'the enemy' &, instead, thought about issues from their perspective, it would help build relationships & ultimately support childrens' wellbeing & attainment.
We must work together. The 'they blame us' 'we blame them' culture solves nothing.
Tips for NQTs:
-Greet at the door
-Say thank you as pupils leave
-Get involved in the wider life of the school
-Smile BEFORE Christmas (the first day and every day)
-Know the school handbook and policies
-Be consistent and calm
-Get to know pupils as individuals
-Ask questions
And where do the children with severe anxiety/SEND fit into this 'solution'?
For many children school itself is the issue. Until the school environment supports all needs & is inclusive, school will continue to be a barrier. We cannot force vulnerable children to attend school.
Always interact in a kind and calm manner.
Some children only know aggression, so we must model kindness.
Do this until it becomes who you are and watch the positive relationships grow.
I have also seen adults de-escalate situations with children by listening to understand & by having a trusting relationship.
I have seen adults support children with SEND by ensuring there is a plan to support the child with regular reviews and insight from the child & parent.
We must always see the child before the behaviour.
We must prioritise nurture and wellbeing.
I'd be extremely worried if anyone working in schools didn't share these values.
If anything shows an absolute lack of awareness of the complexities of some children's needs it is this.
We need to work WITH parents. Forcing children into school isn't going to solve anything.
It is the school system & environment that needs to change.
Over 11,000 under fives excluded from schools.
This is a systematic failure.
This is a failure to support those who need it most.
The children are not to blame.
The government must prioritise budgets to support children who crave nurture and care.
@MrAllington
Also, he is being forced to wear the tie it is not a choice. If you are loaning something as an adult, you are choosing to do so.
I think some adults struggle to see the levels of control children are subject to.
Forcing YP into school is not a solution. By doing this we are at risk of further traumatising YP.
There are many reasons why YP do not engage with school & this can be gradual or sudden.
We must first ask, how can we make our school a safe and supportive place for this YP?
There are children in tears daily who feel overwhelmed and anxious at the thought of daily tasks. They often don't make it to school.
Rishi Sunak would rather force maths on YP than spend the necessary funding on external services to support vulnerable children. Disgraceful.
When speaking to children who present with challenging behaviour, how often do we think: does this child feel safe? does this child feel they belong?
Often YP will test boundaries through lack of routine/structure in their lives.
We have an opportunity to be that safe adult.
Sometimes children just need some kindness.
- Remember something about them and ask them about it
- Show you care
- Recognise when they have made better choices
- Clean slate every day
They get it wrong; we get it wrong. We are all human, but we are the adults. 💜
Check ins with children are so important.
Sometimes they won't say much (or anything) but that doesn't mean they don't appreciate you reaching out or asking them how they are.
The little interactions in school can help children feel safe and supported.
Asking a young person it they have suicidal thoughts when they share they are extremely low will not cause suicidal thoughts. It might, however, be the question that will get a young person the support they really need.
We must prioritise the wellbeing of the children in our classrooms.
Before curriculum, before exams, before inspections, before results...wellbeing must come first.
A positive behaviour strategy for the New Year:
Greet each child before they enter your class by standing at the door.
Give each child a genuine smile and tell them you are glad to see them.
Low effort, HUGE impact!
Delighted to have accepted a permanent Pastoral Lead role. 🎉
Seeing the questions a few minutes before the interview made for a much less nerve-racking experience. The interview was a conversation about education rather than a memory test.
One of the most important factors in being an effective Pastoral Lead?
Normalising that each child is an individual who might not see the world the way we, or their peers, do. Telling them that's okay and ensuring school is a safe and inclusive environment for them.
A lot is said about schools adapting to suit individual children. What about individual children adapting to suit schools? Isn’t that what we all do in society? We adapt. Life teaches us the need/utility of adapting. Sometimes adapting takes a lot of practice over time.
My top piece of advice for NQTs?
Ignore anyone who says don't smile until Christmas!
Children need you to smile and want to build that positive connection.
You can have high expectations, consistent routines and be an approachable and warm teacher.
Think about how safe and secure you feel around kind, warm people. Think about how they provide immediate calm and reassurance.
Don't forget, you take on this role every day by being an approachable and caring teacher.