Overheard District @OverheardWDC Twitter profile

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Overheard District

4 years

"I better lower my volume and shut the fuck up before whatever I say makes it on Overheard District." Girl on phone. Thomas Circle.

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

3 years

Congressman to gate agent, DCA to CLE: "My scheduler promised you had 1st class open to upgrade." "We did but we had last minute changes, I'm really sorry." "You can get me up there, I really need it." "OK Congressman, which one of your constituents should I downgrade."

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3 years

DCA employee chasing down maskless tourist: "HEY FUCKFACE! YOU NEED TO WEAR A MASK!” “You’re going to say that to me as an employee?” “Yeah, I am!"

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1 year

Spotted: Ducks attempting to sneak into the State Department building

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2 years

In Logan Circle: “I don’t have Prime, I don’t want to give any money to Bezos.” “You literally worked for ICE.”

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@OverheardWDC

3 years

Drunk Hill Staffer at the Scarlet Oak: “I was fired today! How is it ethical for anyone to fire me after my grandfather donated $30k to their campaign. Don’t expect my family to vote Republican again.”

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3 years

At the Subway in Rayburn: Intern: "So who do you work for?" Greg Meeks: "I’m a member."

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@OverheardWDC

3 months

Spotted on Massachusetts Ave NW

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

2 years

At Dirty Habit: Georgetown Law Student: “How does it feel to go to a worse law school?” GW Law Student: “I don’t know. How does it feel to be a huge bitch?”

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2 months

Not even DC parking enforcement is safe from DC parking enforcement

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@OverheardWDC

2 years

Spotted in downtown DC

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@OverheardWDC

7 months

Anyway

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@OverheardWDC

3 years

Woman to people blocking left side of Metro escalator: “Please stand right so we can walk left!“ Rider: “I’m not a tourist.” Woman: “Okay that’s even more embarrassing then.”

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3 years

"...because they're gonna see you sit in their seat." *end of conversation*

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1 year

Spotted: Boris Johnson at Kramer’s

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3 years

Woman on Metro to unmasked group attending March for Life Rally: “You know, you should be wearing masks on the Metro. Not just for health but also because your faces are ugly.”

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@OverheardWDC

8 days

Dating in DC

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Overheard District

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2 years

Spotted: @SpeakerPelosi at CVS

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

11 months

Spotted on the Yellow Line

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Overheard District

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2 months

In Dupont Circle: “Who gets married in an election year? It’s so gauche.”

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Overheard District

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1 year

Spotted at the Georgetown Waterfront

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2 years

At hotel front desk in Capitol Hill: "Are you familiar with the layout of the city?" "Yes." "You are?" "Yes." "Because you were quite surprised to learn that there is a Metro."

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2 years

In downtown DC: Woman on the phone: “Managing the male ego on top of my normal work feels like another full time job.” Woman walking past: “Preach!”

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Overheard District

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8 months

Spotted from the NoMa-Gallaudet Metro station

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

2 years

Spotted in Capitol Hill

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

2 years

Dating in DC

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Overheard District

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1 month

Person 1: “Oh, are you flying out today, too? I’m flying out of Reagan, do you want a ride?” Person 2: “I’m flying out of National, but thanks for the offer.”

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3 months

At a wedding in DC: "So what side are you on?" "Democrat." "But bride or groom…?"

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3 years

“DC wishes it were House of Cards, but really, it’s Veep.” Capitol Hill.

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

2 years

At Mission Navy Yard: “I’m giving him until the election to figure out what he wants and if he doesn’t make it official by the Georgia runoff then I’m going to end it for real this time.”

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Overheard District

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2 years

Alexandria bro: "Where do you live?" Girl: "Around U street." Bro: "What neighborhood is that?" Girl: "It’s called U street." Bro, looking confused: "What Metro station?" Girl: "U street."

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3 years

Couple in head-to-toe athleisure at Great Falls: "The cell service is terrible here. Can I have the WiFi password?" Park Ranger: "Uhhh, we don’t have WiFi here." Couple: "How are we supposed to livestream the waterfall then?!" Ranger: "I don’t know what to tell you."

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3 years

Today in Sherman Circle

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1 year

In Adams Morgan: “Men will literally run for Speaker of the House instead of going to therapy.”

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2 years

On the Green Line: “UVA?” “Yeah, University of Virginia… not sure what the A stands for.”

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2 years

At Capital One Arena Man: "Mansplaining, it’s like a man explaining to you." Woman, rolling eyes: "I know what mansplaining is."

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9 months

Woman and small child at Dulles: Child: “Who's the boss of the airport?” Woman: “I don't know, Pete Buttigieg.”

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Overheard District

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3 years

At Penn Social: Man: “He was totally gaslighting them. Oh I’m sorry are you familiar with the term? Gaslighting means….” Woman: “Oh yea I think I’ve heard it. Have you heard the term mansplain?”

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Overheard District

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1 year

At L’Enfant Plaza: “No boomer better say shit to me for wearing white after Labor Day. You assholes warmed the planet to 100 degrees in September.”

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2 years

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3 years

Guy on the phone at Foggy Bottom Metro stop: “The date went really well! But I think our countries might have competing geopolitical interests that would make something long-term difficult.”

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Overheard District

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1 year

In Woodley Park: “The pandas at the zoo are ultimately just government contractors.”

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4 years

*Two teenagers on the Metro: Teen 1: “Where are we?” Teen 2: “We are currently where President Bartlett got shot.”

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Overheard District

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2 years

At Rock Creek Park: “How’s dating going in DC?” “I’m dealing with supply chain issues.”

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Overheard District

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1 year

In a very long immigration line at Dulles: Kid: “Daddy, why are we in jail?” Dad: “It’s called Dulles Airport.”

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11 months

Talking about the giant pandas returning to China: “I was kinda hoping they went to the wrong airport, for one last DC experience.”

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Overheard District

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2 months

A small child after stepping outside at DCA: “The air is moisturized.”

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3 years

I mean…

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Overheard District

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2 years

At a bar in Georgetown: Woman: “Can you make me an espresso martini but like with real espresso?” Bartender: “Why don’t you go do coke in the bathroom like a real adult?”

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Overheard District

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2 years

Tall guy in suit on the phone: "I call DC the city of shapes. There’s McPherson Square, Federal Triangle, Dupont Circle, Oval Office, Pentagon…"

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@OverheardWDC

2 years

At Gallery Place Metro escalators: Person 1: “Please stand right to let people walk left.” Person 2: “Omg do you like work here.” Person 1: “No I’m just not an asshole and know how to live in a city.” Person 2: “Um I live here too.” Person 1: “The learn the rules.”

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

1 year

In DuPont Circle: “I’m having a lot of problems with my outlook.” “Oh no. On life? Things will turn around.” “No like my email app. But yeah that too, I guess.”

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Overheard District

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2 years

At Chevy Chase liquor store: Brand Promoter: "Hello ma'am, would you like to try a sample of our new whiskey?" Late-60's woman in Chanel and excessive jewelry: "Dear, if I wanted to drink cheap whiskey out of a plastic cup I'd still be married to my third husband."

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1 year

Two 4-year-old boys from DC on a playdate, playing with trains: Boy 1: “My train is driving like a maniac!” Boy 2: “What’s a maniac?” Boy 1: “A maniac is like... a Maryland driver!”

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

1 year

At a DC hospital: “How are you going to get home today, sir?” “I live at The Watergate. It’s practically across the street! I’m walking!” “Someone has to come get you, sir.” “I’m a newspaper columnist. Don’t make this difficult. I could write about it.”

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Overheard District

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2 months

At Metro Center: “This is DC! Don’t stand on the fuckin left side! Don’t come to the city if you don’t know how to behave!”

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Overheard District

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1 year

Small child to dad on Amtrak: “Do we have to take the Metro home? I just want to Uber!!” Dad: “We’re taking the Metro, prepare yourself mentally”

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3 years

Spotted at the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler

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Overheard District

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2 years

Spotted on the Blue line: Dulles and Ashburn Metro stops

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Overheard District

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3 years

Alaska Airlines desk agent to couple checking in at DCA: "Are you sure you’re not flying from Dulles?" Woman checking phone: "Shit, it says IAD." Agent: "Let me see, I think we can switch you." *5 mins later they are on the next flight to Seattle

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Overheard District

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1 year

Over the speakers at DCA: “Will Ms Maxine Waters please return to the north security checkpoint to retrieve your ID.”

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

3 years

Seen at the Ukrainian Embassy in Georgetown

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

5 months

The devil works hard but the people who write these copy pastas work harder

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

2 years

Nancy Pelosi walking with 2 guards and a staffer in Longworth basement: “I just finished a meeting and now it’s donut time.”

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

2 years

Intern on the phone in the Capitol Visitor Center: “I’m terribly sorry sir but to be completely transparent, I’m just an intern and cannot solve all the world’s problems.”

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

1 year

Spotted in Fort Totten. Crayons and coloring pages for this driver who can’t park within the lines 😭

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1 year

On the Green Line: “Do you realize that if the government shuts down that means all the Smithsonians close? They’re going to CANCEL Panda Palooza!”

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

3 years

Dating in DC:

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

3 years

Girl yelling on the phone in Shaw: “I have a fucking work baby shower today. In FAIRFAX. I have to go all the way to fucking FAIRFAX for a WORK BABY SHOWER!!”

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

2 years

At the National Tree Lighting, two women freezing in the crowd: “Elizabeth Warren would have never let us wait this long.”

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

3 years

"I mean, that sounds super good for your career, but it doesn’t sound good for your soul.” Two friends. Georgetown Waterfront.

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

2 years

Halloween costume submission: DC parking signs and tickets

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Overheard District

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2 years

In Adams Morgan: “I can’t go to Georgetown AND make a lasagna in one day. That’s way too much.”

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

10 months

In Old Town Alexandria: “You know, my first mistake was not being born into generational wealth.”

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

1 year

Young woman walking around Georgetown: “This neighborhood is sooo pretty. What kind of fucked up shit do I have to do to get a house here.”

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

2 years

On 7th and K St NW: Tourist: “What monument is that?” Local friend: “That’s the Apple store.”

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

2 years

Evening commute Metro operator on Blue Line: "Next stop Pentagon City, where the grass is green and girls are pretty.”

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@OverheardWDC

4 months

On a rooftop pool in NoMa: “I live on 14th St.” “I don’t know where that is.” “It’s between 13th and 15th.” “Oh, well i just learned the letter streets, I haven’t figured out the numbers yet.”

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Overheard District

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2 years

Person on phone at DCA: “I’m at Arrivals at a signs that says to Terminal 2 and Delta.” 2 minutes later… “I’m at DCA, why the fuck are you at Dulles? I said National 10 times!!!”

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

2 years

In Dupont: “You ever listen to SZA?” “Like the government agency?” “No, S-Z-A, not C-I-S-A.”

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Overheard District

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7 months

Spotted near McPherson Square

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Overheard District

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1 month

Friends walking down the street in Downtown Silver Spring: Friend 1 (recording her insta story): "I'm in Washington DC, y'all!" Friend 2: "Girl this is not DC, can't take your ass nowhere."

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Overheard District

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3 years

Spotted on the Orange Line

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Overheard District

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6 months

At the Dupont Circle Metro: “I can’t jump the turnstile! I’m trying to get a security clearance.”

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7 months

A massive van backing up into a crosswalk near Georgetown Law: “Hit me, I dare you. I got an A in Torts and will sue you into the dirt.”

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Overheard District

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3 years

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2 years

At CVS in Mount Vernon Triangle: Employee 1: "Do we have any more Plan B in the store?" Employee 2: "I sold it all, we’re all out... (silence) I don’t know what the hell happened this weekend."

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Overheard District

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2 years

At Federal Triangle Metro: “I just don’t think my soulmate works at Deloitte.”

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8 months

Spotted on the Silver Line

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1 year

Spotted: Jake Tapper at the Georgetown DMV

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2 years

“My friend just went into labor. I’m so excited and nervous for her!” “Wow, what’s her new position at Labor?” “…. No she went into labor and is about to have a baby.”

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1 year

In an office building in Rosslyn: “I need a cigarette so bad but I don’t want to go breathe in all that forest fire smoke.”

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Overheard District

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2 years

At Nationals Park Woman 1: “Could you imagine having a child?” Woman 2: “Yes. I work for a congressman.”

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Overheard District

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3 years

Woman on the phone in Adams Morgan: "That bitch fucked up. She is never getting my Alfredo recipe. Her sauce will forever be dry, over salted and come from a can."

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

3 years

At dentist office in Foggy Bottom: “You just moved to DC so you don’t need a night guard yet, but it’s just a matter of time. Everyone in DC is stressed and needs a night guard.”

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Overheard District

@OverheardWDC

2 years

Two women at Anju: “He hasn’t texted me back.” “Maybe he works for an agency like the CIA that takes his phone.” “He works at Deloitte.”

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Overheard District

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1 year

Two middle aged men at DCA: “We went to a Nats game and there were so many new apartments right outside the stadium. I don’t know what part of town that is — Georgetown, I think. Anyway, I’ve heard it’s notorious for crime.”

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Overheard District

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3 years

Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnett spotted at the Lincoln Memorial

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Overheard District

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2 years

At the Dupont Circle Farmers market: “Wait, you kicked a DC United player out of your bed 15 min ago… for the farmers market? “I did it for YOU! I have PRIORITIES.”

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Overheard District

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2 years

On the Red Line during evening rush hour: Woman talking loudly on phone: “Wow people are like jostling and shoving me so aggressively right now!” Person getting off the train: “Shut up bitch, it’s the Metro!”

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