Vanilla Chai Latte. @Nkhondo_ Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

10 months

In the High Court of XMalawi Case No: HCXM/0001/2024 Between: The State of XMalawi Plaintiff and SimplyDee_c Defendant

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@takamin_

Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

Pamuzi pano you can argue about standards with people that share a bedroom with their siblings without knowing it. Osamataya nthawi.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

6 months

The people throwing negative views in the quotes are too obvious. Unsuccessful lawyers, unsuccessful musicians, struggling uni students, struggling graduates. So we get where the bitterness is coming from.

Mikozi Network

@MikoziNetwork

7 months

After years building it, Its Finally Done ! The man from Bunda has completed making his own car 👏👏👏

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

8 months

I was with my friends yesterday. We agreed to go checkout beerland days prior. We were 7 in total. The minute we realized that we were going to leave MK70,000 at the gate just to enter, we diverted to my friend's house. Lots of alcohol was drunk, lots of meat was ate, fun was had

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

11 months

Called a taxi driver and asked him where he is. His response: "Mumasowa chani koma amwene? Tazigonani kwada"... I just said "okay akulu, usiku wabwino".

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

19 days

Pasavute apa. AKUTI, bambo wina wokwatila waku Blantyre, ali ndi ana awili koma onsewo si ankazi wake yomwe anamanga naye banja la ukwati oyela. AKUTISO, nkazi wake yemwe anamanga naye banja sanabeleke naye mwana chimangileni banja lawo. Zikomo.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

11 months

I have a house help, an old lady. I'm strict about her cleaning for me on Mondays. I usually let her inside through the kitchen. I did the same today and went to my room to rest from the wildness that happened in this house over the weekend. Only to be waken to see this 💔

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

I always thought he was younger, like 23 or below. Turns out he's just immature. Smh

The Slice Magazine

@slicemagazine

3 months

Spe turns 27 today. 🎉

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

8 months

I've just received a "we are pleased to inform" you email and the best part is, I get to work remotely, making it my second remote job this year 🥳🥳🥳

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

9 months

I think rehabs in Malawi discharge patients before healing so they'd return.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

Do you people really find nice things in Dapp?

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

20 days

This minibus conductor called me 21 Savage.... "Mukwela madhala? Mukuwonatu ah 21 Savage mumatikhomelela" 😭😭😭😭

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

2 months

Some hun asked me for a hunters last night. I told her pali 2 pin tisonkhelane. 😅

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

Not exactly a trend. Just that our age mates are interested in older men, and us being interested in younger girls is pedophile behaviour. So we figured there's nothing wrong with chasing the older ones. You feel me?

Finnese Chubs

@finnese_chubs

3 months

Kodi young men being interested in older ladies is now a trend????

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

6 months

My cousin sent money to some girls to have them over at our house. The girls stopped picking their phones right after the money was sent and they didn't show up at all. He has sued them for fraud and emotional damage 💀💀💀💀💀😭

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

5 months

The owner of PayChangu can't explain how the app works. I'll assume he doesn't know too.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

2 months

Crack aside, I feel like he'd make a good leader.

jordan daddy 🐐

@widowakanda

2 months

Kd awa anasiya ndale?🙄

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

7 months

PayChangu must have prepared enough working capital to be where it's at today. Imagine announcing a company, employing people and months down the line not provide the service you promised the public.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

9 months

A N D R E W S 👑🇲🇼

@AlipoAndrewsII

9 months

Tell me you grew up in the ghetto without mentioning it? Let's see 🙈

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

Stayed sober for a week, my productivity went up, met an old colleague and helped them out with some work, they recommended me to someone who grew interest in hiring me, now I have an extra job which I'm expected to start on Monday, but I'll start today. Alcohol is useless guys.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

11 months

Ofunika kupanga chiwelewele lelo.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

1 year

As I clock 29 years of physical age, I hope one day I'll become a grown up. Apa sinasi ndikhoza kuyamba zawu sugar daddy?

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

5 months

So we'll be paying money from our mobile wallets through PayChangu when we can simply use the same mobile wallets to make the same payment? Genius!

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

8 months

A lot of huns seem to know too much about our nigga that bagged Nyless. How?

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

2 months

A lot of people can't speak the English they type. It's unfortunate.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

1 month

Samatha chigololo.

Canal 〽️W 👑🇲🇼🇿🇦🇿🇲

@canalmw331

1 month

Any word's for them?

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

1 year

Some day, I escorted my friend to Chileka airport cos he wanted me to drive and leave his car at his house afterwards. On my way back I decided to go flex with it first since it was a Mercedes E class. While around the wenela clock tower a traffic officer pulled me over....

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

6 months

We need strip clubs in Malawi 😒

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

Guys, you're focusing on the wrong story. The $50,000 is where it's at.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

1 month

"I'm in your city" uyuyu nkoyamba kumuwona 🤣

Refilwe Ntopa

@refilwepoetry93

1 month

Who sells dressed chickens in Blantyre?

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

19 days

I always find people that tweet boldly and speak chibwibwi in real life is funny. Like bro, "twee twee tweeeee tweet liiiiikkkke you sssss speak in real life".

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

Manda Soirée 😂

Nöe2Frag🇲🇼🇫🇮

@LilNoe6Blocka

3 months

How is is it gonna be dust to dust if there are tiles everywhere, nature will not take its course.The body is supposed to decompose and become soil again...

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

1 month

Some unprotected fornication would be nice in this weather.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

10 months

I don't know who needs to hear this, but PLEASE, stop generating job application letters with AI tools. I had a shortlisting gig for a certain start up and the owner insisted that we check for plagiarism. Sadly out of 67 application emails, NONE made it regardless of strong CVs.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

19 days

On this special day, permit me, in lieu of traditional wishes to suggest the character among these fine women. Behold, a soul of humble beginnings journeying through the twists and turns of life. This day, no mere commemoration of birth is the culmination of trials and triumphs.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

11 months

Zeze should've left that maluzi song as it was. His version is horrible, Jesus 😔... But the rest of the songs in the item are fire, as usual.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

10 months

Having carefully considered the evidence presented before this court, I hereby declare the proceedings concluded. The court is dismissed. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

2 months

Pink beauty soap ndiye utiso?

The Slice Magazine

@slicemagazine

2 months

Emmie Deebo has been named brand ambassador for Pink Beauty Soap by Hirwa General Dealers in a K80 million deal for 6 months, subject to renewal. She’s pictured receiving a dummy cheque with Dennis Imaan, a director at Akometsi—her management team. 🤑

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

5 months

Using chat GPT to explain a service you introduced is crazy business 💀💀💀💀.. Dude knows NOTHING about his own service!

Nohaata

@HatsaVii

5 months

@ChifuniroKapota @Nkhondo_

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

1 year

You are love, peace and power, my nigga.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

4 months

I was counting money guys.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

2 months

"Hello abwana, mubwela Ku ntchito lelo?" Ukundifusa ngati ndani?

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

I had a girlfriend from Machinjiri. Akabwela kwathu ankagenda padenga kuti ndiziwe wafika panja pakwathu.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

1 year

Tumbuka people will name their business "Nyirenda & Sons Grocery" even when they have daughters only.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

Y'all didn't tell me Malawi Vodka was this nice why? 😔

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

10 months

So I was at this girl's house. This lovely weather sent me there because in my mind I thought she'd get a hint because of how we chill. Boy was I wrong. Andikaniza beans koma andipasa MK5000 ati ndikagule baby gin. I don't know how to feel about this.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

2 months

Ndawona munthu wa nkhope ya ziphuphu zofunika kuphulisila mfuti.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

"Gin sungamwe osayipisa nkhope" Lol bunch of amateurs.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

8 months

Is this the Spe y'all speak highly of? Lol

C👽deGuyMw🇲🇼

@codeguymw

8 months

Asiyeni Abale 👽😮‍💨😮‍💨

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

26 days

Married men be buying things from young women doing small businesses online and thinking the price includes a backstage pass to their panties. Wild behavior. Just buy your stuff and move on, bro. Is that how you wooed your wife? Have some shame, please 💀

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

1 year

That deadbeat president with an accent of a rejected Mississippi slave will not see heaven.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

5 months

Smashed this hun after pursing her for a long time. A few days later, she sent me a picture of HIV test results and blocked me. I haven't known how to feel ever since.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

4 months

If you're in bad terms with your loved ones, clear the negative energy now while you still have the chance. We are deep within dark times.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

2 months

How much are Blantyre - Lilongwe flight tickets? 😌 Tizasangalale weekend kumeneko.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

11 months

In Malawi, Twitter has seemingly created more business and employment opportunities for people than LinkedIn and I doubt if people find any opportunities on LinkedIn at all. Or I could be wrong since I don't spend enough time on LinkedIn.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

2 months

That girl wakukamwa ngati mbalame keeps appearing on my feed but we don't follow one another.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

8 months

This app was decent when internet wasn't as affordable as it is today in Malawi.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

10 months

In the matter brought forth by Twitter user AlipoAndrews, Exhibit A signifies the accused's pretentious conduct. Consequently, this court pronounces her guilty as outlined.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

27 days

Can't believe I managed to quit cigarettes. It's been 3 months now. The only thing I hate is how much I eat since I quit smoking.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

9 months

Kodi pay quickie akuwona ngati akunyenga ndani?

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

2 months

The gist that I've just been gisted about a certain verified account will leave the timeline in utter shambles if it makes it here. 😂 Honestly, we tweet among common criminals.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

1 year

Went to this man's house for breakfast yesterday and he was explaining to is how his daughter is pursuing a master's in genetic engineering in Germany and it costs him "90,000 Euros only" per semester. And his other daughter is studying a Architecture in Australia and it costs...

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

5 months

Breathalyzer inatiyimisa. My friend that was driving asked me if I was fit to run, I was. Home boy parks the car as instructed, left it on and starts dipping heading towards Chapima. I just started following thinking something was up. Next thing I know, we're in Chirimba...

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

10 months

Most of you will grow old with nothing but photos of alcohol and memories of amapiano if you're not careful.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

8 months

Not a bad album. Only new thing is that feature with Classick. The rest is typical 'Praise Umali'. 7/10 in my opinion.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

1 year

So, I was out drinking alcohol last evening, with my uncle and his friend. A seemingly mid 40s man walked in alone, ordered a beer and joined us at our table. I though he knew one of the elders I was with cos of the way he greeted us all. He introduced himself moments later

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

2 months

Can't believe some nigga decided to wear flip flops, smoke a ridiculous amount of weed and rap like a sloth talking about women's buttocks.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

4 months

Guys, I know I drink a lot and all. Koma izizi where by you describe me as "Dingi wake wa mowa uja" is not nice. Sibwino chonde.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

2 months

I don't know who needs to hear this, but - Betway should not be considered a viable solution for poverty. Consider trying real world opportunities for financial stability, if of course you're actually interested in improving your situation.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

8 months

I haven't seen people calling each other out for living with parents. What happened?

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

8 months

This girl is trying too hard to sound like Zani.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

8 months

I hear nkazi wamwana kale amaziwa kukonda and it always leaves me wondering why anyone sensible would leave such loving huns.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

11 months

My friend got married a few months ago. A week into his marriage anali ayamba kukangana kale. Zulo, his wife hit him with his laptop in the head and broke his cellphones because amakana kupeleka pin ya phone. Lol marry at your own risk guys.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

6 months

Woke up like this.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

8 months

I have managed to stay 5 days without smoking guys. Do you know how much of an achievement that is for me? I should reward myself with a beer and a cigarette.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

This platform reminds me everyday that Malawi is the easiest place to mine data. Y'all get easily carried away with every web application thrown your way.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

8 months

You are not an introvert. You don't have money to go outside.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

Man! X-malawi is a cluster of duplicitous individuals. The same people that backed that girl up when someone questioned her flimsy attire not so long ago are dragging her for stepping into the light. Y'all empowered her to do such things, don't go off the deep end. Support her.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

11 months

Being a part of Twitter MW is the best thing that ever happened to certain people's lives. No one can tell me otherwise now.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

7 months

Genuinely wonder what most people's lives are like outside this platform.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

2 months

Demure ndekuti chani? Ana opemphesa inu.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

A bed for unannounced visitors.

Jenni

@hashjenni

3 months

What would you use this space for

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

11 months

So, I drank too much gin yesterday and I woke up feeling terrible today. Ndafika kuchipatala and the nurses akundijeda ati 'koma uyuyu samamva, week yatha yomweyi anali konkuno nkhani yake yamowa yomweyo'.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

9 months

Bro can't explain his own investment 😭

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

Ndinakwela minibus ndi hule linalake linandiswa ntima. Longest 30 minutes I have ever lived. Ngati ndisanze.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

"FansChangu" .... Malawian version of Only fans.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

30 days

Ndagula magesi a 100,000 mwa ngozi

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

8 months

You people that say "tayika FIFA tikuchinye apa" after seeing two gaming controllers in someone's house, ndinu achimizi panyapanu.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

2 months

I wish I was this loved at home.

Michelle Owen

@MichelleOwen7

2 months

Our little superhero has started school❤️

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

6 months

Man, Eli Njuchi has a very impressive discography. What an artist!

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

4 months

Toyota Vitz registration number 'BS 8292' parked by Total gas station opposite MUBAS, driven by a lady wearing a pink dress. Nkazi okongola kwambili komwe uliko uthenga ukakupeza uziwe. Ndakhala pa pump more than 5 minutes just admiring you. 😅

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

26 days

💀💀💀 This nigga bought items from a young girl here and started offering her the 'sheli banana' without shame. Oh my days

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

4 months

So I was at kings landing last night. Spotted a few nice looking women there, what what. Went to drop one of my people in sector 4 and decided to use the bwandilo stretch, the same huns I appreciated by kings landing were standing by the bwandilo corner waving at cars.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

1 month

Hostel ya akazi yosegula nthawi zino Ku Blantyre ndi kuti? Tikusowa zochita.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

9 months

My neighbor was telling my mom to advise me to stop drinking because she thinks it doesn't suit me. My mom's response: "Azasiya yekha akazafuna. Mowa samasiyisana ngati bele". What a supportive mother ♥️

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

4 months

Ndikufuna ma laptop atatu ama K200,000 by Monday ku Lilongwe kuno. Bola azitheka microsoft office basi. 0999232469

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

5 months

Someone tweets about their experience at a school you simply didn't attend cos your sponsors couldn't afford, you call it weird flex, someone being quizzical about a new finance service trying to understand how it works, you call it hate. Mutu ngati mbolo.

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Vanilla Chai Latte.

@Nkhondo_

3 months

Sympathy voters, y'all up.