Jemedari @MrJemedari Twitter profile

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

Glad to see so many embracing therapy. A few of you need an exorcism as well but... Baby steps

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 months

Your goons. Proudly sponsored by the County Government of Nairobi

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

Let Baba go to court and get the closure he needs. Si wengine mnaenda kupiga nduru kwa parking lot ya ex at 3am? Kila mtu na method yake.

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 month

"Tumetenga wakenya millioni hamsini na mbili. Na tutazidi kuwatenga hadi wajue sisi ndio wezi wakuu!!"

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

14 days

Are you medically insane?

CS Rebecca Miano, EGH

@rebecca_miano

15 days

As part of my working tour at the Wildlife Research and Training Institute in Naivasha, I took a walk to introduce myself to the Giraffes. I asked them to expect many tourists in days to come. Giraffes make Kenya magical. ⁦ @PSMuseiya ⁩

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

6 months

Ako na certificate of good conduct?

CapitalFM Breaking News

@BreakingNewsKE

6 months

JACQUE Maribe hired to head communications at Public Service Ministry days after she was acquitted in a murder charge for lack of evidence.

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

13 days

Maybe it is because you don't know the difference between Banquet and Bouquet. Just maybe.

senjee♥️💕

@babyshaqqs

13 days

Kuna watu walipendwa ka uyu ametumiwa money banquet..then kuna mimi😭😭😭😭😭let me find love😭

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

Bolt drivers: Umesema Nation Center? Si utembee hivi chini nikuchukue hapo Pangani?

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

Wait!! Mnatumia Ruby as short form ya Kerubo? Defund Kisii babes!

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

6 months

Riri with the PCEA dance

FentyStats

@FentyStats

6 months

Rihanna performing "All Of The Lights" in India tonight.

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

4 months

Kumbe wewe ndio ulileta hii swara? Hebu sema, "It's been long since we had a state funeral."

🇰🇪 قلبا شاكرا

@Shirley_Sein

4 months

But Kenya Power has really tried this time. No power outages as you’d expect especially this time when we are having heavy rains.

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

4 months

Guys should start using this name to describe a person with an abundance of unused space in the head. Eg Hiki kimtu kinakuwanga kindiki sana.

Kenyans.co.ke

@Kenyans

4 months

CS Kindiki orders arrest of pedestrians and motorists crossing flooded bridges for attempted suicide or murder

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

Today's lesson: If you're walking in an undeveloped or forested area and you suddenly smell the aroma of something like cooked rice, you are within 15 metres of a python or python nest

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

The hype is real! Adults are actually finishing stocks za Wow Wows madukani 🤣

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

"Sasa who came with this cheap ass bottie?" was the last time I went to a house party

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 months

Another sexual deviant hiding behind a church has kicked the bucket. Pretentious condolences about to flood the TL.

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

Let me school y'all. Kuku kapanda baiskeli, Bata kavaa Rise On!

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

9 months

Wear your sneakers! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 They aren't trophies

Martin Siele

@gengetonedon

9 months

My dad can't be serious this man has been using Jordan 1's as 'farm shoes' 😭 oldheads are insane

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

5 months

Mutahi Ngunyi

@MutahiNgunyi

5 months

My FREN: Larry Madowo. As a BOY in the VILLAGE, if you see an OLD man with his legs APART exposing his 'member', you MUST wash your EYES with soap. Never tell ANYONE. But you are FOOLISH. Each time you fly to Kenya you EXPOSE our NAKEDNESS to CNN Muzungus. You are a HOUSE Nigger!

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

5 years

This is Potash Charles Matathia, who wrote the script for Nairobi Half Life. If you know how to reach him, please share. He needs help

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 months

Subaru drivers 🤣🤣

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

Radio Interns kwa fire exit: Hallo Giddy na Ghost? Napiga kutoka hapa Vihiga...

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

10 months

🔥

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

Brilliant!

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

4 years

@RandallOtisTV

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 month

Munishi amesema Pastor Nganga huwa anacheza 1 string pekee na anajiita professional wa guitar 🤣🤣 I love this beef!!

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

I stopped participating in workplace Secret Santas when, after my bike accident in 2014 and with metal sticking out of my arm, I was "gifted" a book titled "How To Make Better Decisions"

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

4 months

Do you know how long it takes a typical household to prepare kids for school?? The only thing that should be "For Immediate Release" is the resignation letters of guys in this ministry. Bladfakin!

Ministry of Education, Kenya (MoE)

@EduMinKenya

4 months

Education Cabinet Secretary Dr Ezekiel Machogu extends schools’ second term opening dates by one week to May 6, 2024 due to ongoing heavy rains

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

Past the age of 35 every one of your friends is practically running an unlicensed pharmacy in their house. Y'all just casually ask each other, "bado uko na ile dawa ya ninii? Nipe mbili please"

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 months

Kuku kapanda baiskeli, Bata kavaa...

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

Documentary ya Mavuno inatoka when?

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

Fake Deep! Yule uncle yako mlevi wa ocha pia amekuwa na bibi mmoja miaka 30 na bado anapiga changli analala kwa mtaro. Wapi picha yake? Hakuna teachings hapa

Mia Academic Help

@MiaEssays_

2 years

There is always that one girl who believes in you

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 months

At what age is one old enough to speak generational curses? Nataka niroge wabunge kadhaa 😅

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

8 months

Kama wewe ni creative na Ndambuki akuite gig, usitoke kwa nyumba kama hujaona MPesa!! I hope Kinoti na Ethan wamesimama wima. Msibebwe kimalenge!!

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

@benstake Unasema "Thank you" halafu unakamua Ile ndimu ndani ya bowl ya maji moto, unaipiga flash. Akirudi unamwambia, "nyinyi ndio mnajua dawa ya hii baridi"

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 months

September 2011

Jemedari

@MrJemedari

13 years

MadTraxx is gonna be RKelly #LotsaNoiseNoAwards #MusicPredictions

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

Someone please point me to a plug

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 month

You work in a MEDIA HOUSE. With a fully functional NEWS ROOM. ASK THEM! Mbafaku!!

Maina Kageni

@ItsMainaKageni

1 month

Someone... anyone... please tell me what was going on in Zimmerman and Mirema last night. Call in on +254711046105 or reply to this. Requesting for information tafadhali..... #MainaAndKingangi @Classic105Kenya

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

@_wangwe Pènis Navidad

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

This is 38!

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

Haya weeee!!🤣

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

Smile at a stranger. Say hi to the guard at the gate. Skip lunch and give it to a helpless person. Walk over to that super quiet person at work and say hi. Hum a song in a quiet matatu and gotea the conductor as you alight. Whatever you do, give someone a reason to smile today.

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 months

There's a certain desensitizing that happens online. That takes common emotions like love, empathy, pain and grief and turns them into something else. This digital mask where everyone wants to be "Savage". Whatever you do, please don't let that leak into your real life. Please

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

4 months

A whole Wu-Tang Clan logo mnaiba tu fwaa!? 🤣🤣

Michatha

@MichathaHaha

4 months

what you mean you don’t have an escape plan ?

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

@Lekho254 Who are we to say no? Wewe upo na mimi nipple

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

Stopped by Kongowea for a small meeting.

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

Unatuma mtoto donuts anavalishwa kwa wrist 😂

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

Why is it called Scissoring and not a Lip Synch?

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 months

The thing about goons is that after all the work, they will need to meet their paymasters.

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

Fuck Every Name

@fcukeveryname

5 years

fuck kenya

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

Short girls beware! Carry your ID usishikwe upewe dawa ya Polio wakidhani wewe ni mtoto! Be accompanied by a tall or bearded man at all times!

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

Someone needs to share witness accounts of how apparently Angela Chibalonza never wrote songs. She just came to studio, prayed then said, "Bwana amenipa maneno ya kuimba"

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

UK: "My government will crack down on corruption!!" Govt meets Corruption:

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

Remember the Ragga duo Chaka Demus and Pliers? Pliers has a sibling who's also a musician. His name is Richie Spice

OJANGA

@Topman______

2 years

Unafaa kuhama kwenyu at what age?

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

Them Mushrooms receiving their Platinum Plaque for Jambo Bwana. #TBT

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

Elections are also a good way to help you filter and clean up your timeline. Start with the tribalist scum, finish with pro-violence ones

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

9 months

Kuhasa: A traditional Mijikenda ceremony of blessings from the elders, usually done a day or two before the actual wedding.

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

A herd of elephants has been spotted in Jimba and Kadzonzo.

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

To 38 more years of conquering our fears

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

@wanza_ Jeepu🤣

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 months

Before this social media era, Ugandan girl group Obsessions wanted to come and perform in Kenya. Only to discover that a fake group had already come to Kenya using their name, performed 3 shows making over 300k at each show, and left!!

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

4 years

Dear Book Lover...

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

@Kimanzi_ @MeanKaiser Lakini seriously hizo ni maswali gani mnauliza mtu kwa interview?

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

Mr T anasema aje kuhusu hizi cults? Ama yeye ni ana specialize na masturbation demons pekee?

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

So there was no election?? IEBC just dedicated that whole process as a campaign to launch Githeri Man's career?? Very noble of them 👏👏👏👏

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

"All Protocols Observed" is the government lingo for "Na hao wasee wengine"

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

Manifesting works!! Now officially a resident of the beautiful city of Mombasa. Send gigs, welcome hampers, cold juice or let's just hang out.

Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

Manifesting a permanent change of residential address. May the chakras align 🤲🏾

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

So many "Mheshimiwas" being referred to as "Your excellency" but zero record of anything done excellently...

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

Manifesting works

Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

Weather ya ku ghost socials for a month na kurudi with a Mijikenda spouse

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

Rest well, Eric Kunguru.

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

@tabutona "Maisha unafaa uipeleke polepole. Kila kitu ma mda wake. Ngoja tupite huyu asitufinye" While weaving through a jam at 60KPH

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

@graciemkala You definitely know someone who needs an exorcism 🤣

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

A cop literally stalked and shot a 13 year old!! 13!! Good thing his face was captured on camera. Sasa tuombe haki iwe ngao

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

The Swahili word 'Hela' came about because of this coin, The Heller, as was one of the currencies used in German East Africa

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 months

This same document that has your signature on page 4? Are you deranged?

Dr. Ezekiel Mutua, MBS

@EzekielMutua

7 months

There's this fugitive @Noninimgenge2ru who embezzled musicians money when he was a director of MUPAKE & PRISK. We reported him and his gang to the police last week and we are pursuing their prosecution. Now I hear he's circulating a FAKE document on social media purporting it's

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

Unagongwa na gari unapatiwa panadol MP anapigwa ngoto anavalishwa neck brace...

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

Pulse Magazine: Local rapper Jemedari could not resist taking a photo with Burna Boy

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

5 months

This is 39!

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

Naskia tu watu wanawika "Tiif! Tiif!" hapa TRM.. Kumbe ni waNaija wameona mwizi. SMH

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

Chorus: Sina ngata, so I can't drive my moti Na sina fare so siwezi ride na mathree.. Verse: Nilidhani ilikuwa soo, kumbe ilikuwa ngiri na kutoka home nilibeba ngiri mbili

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

Challenge accepted

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

I bet Jesus had some really expensive designer clothes... Mfalme Wa Armani

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

When I started out, this ninja asked me for 60k to put my jams on rotation on Kiss. Finally ameconfess mwenyewe

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

@Rixviv Tafuta hii App 🤣

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

Innovation 👏👏👏

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

Mzee Ngala turns 87 today!

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

8 years

"Dera bila tako ni kanzu tu..." Ahsanteni.

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

Cheering politicians at 11.45pm usiku, nje na baridi with your kids. How to raise little political sycophants. But nitaambiwa, "Huna mtoto"

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

1 year

Chorus: Na si waseee, tumetoka Githurai! Githuraiii! Verse 3: Ok, I'm called Googz and I come from Inner Core

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

@KoomeGitobu @RamzZy_ Ah!! I've remembered being told, "we will never play your music." Because I stood up for myself after being mentioned on a gossip post.

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

@Osama_otero Hata wewe huwezi lala kwa workshop, bana!! 🤣

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

@JoeWMuchiri1 Huyo mwenye mguu ndio anaitwa Myself

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

Rest In Peace, Mzee Gabriel Omolo

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

4 years

Buying Bluetooth Speakers or Headphones? Here's a test playlist 1. Lil Wayne — “A Milli” What to test: Low resonating bass frequencies When: 0:13-0:19

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

Ukibuy chapo inakunjwa inapigwa stapler unapatiwa kama report form ya primary school.

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 years

@Asmali77 Am I the only one seeing the boda guy switching lanes without checking his mirror?

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

7 years

Why you need crates in your life. Let me hook you up! #KayaKwetu

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

3 years

Dope

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Jemedari

@MrJemedari

2 months

Ungehama last month!!

khalif kairo

@KhalifKairo

2 months

Continue destroying your country then. Those of us with strong international connections can always move and go build other countries like Somalis have done. Nyinyi wenye hamna kazi, kesho economy ikicollapse kabisa ni nyinyi mtaumia zaidi. Lakini hamtaki kutumia akili.

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