Xander Cage The Elephant @MisterX2U Twitter profile

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

1 year

If anyone needs me I’ll be over here rubbing myself in baby oil and pretending I’m a seal

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

The flu doesn’t kill 80,000 people in 3 months. Shut up you morons

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Ya'll, I have a feeling that Joe Biden is gonna choose Hillary Clinton as VP.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

5 years

You know who didn't get 40 months in prison today? Hillary Clinton #RogerStoneSentencing #RogerStone

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

@jhsutherland2 @TheOldOlaf I’m suggesting people who STILL think COVID is “just the flu” are dumb as shit.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

5 years

@MysterySolvent Impeaches and Cream

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Plot Twist: Twitter isn't real and we're just passing notes to each other in an insane asylum

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

3 years

Fun fact: eating pussy is healthier than crystal meth

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

I like coffee more than people

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

3 years

And for my next trick I will turn childhood trauma into jokes

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Sundresses make grown men forget their own name

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Yeah sex is cool but have you ever made someone laugh when they’ve had a shit day?

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

I’d date a girl solely on her ability to know where tf she wants to eat

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Older women do that thing you like and send you home leftovers

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Making them laugh is foreplay

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

If you don’t make her laugh, you won’t make her cum

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

The feel of someone’s skin on yours is an antidepressant

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

If she wears a hair tie on her wrist she’ll probably do that thing you like...anywhere

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

3 years

When parents said “...or ill give you something to cry about” they meant years from now in therapy.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Make her nipples hard, not her life.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Sexting but it’s just sending songs back and forth

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Every time I get a new follower I’m like “are you sure?”

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

3 years

I don’t want nudes I just want you to be yourself. Your goofy, silly, laid back, cool, naked self.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Short girls are all cute and sweet until they stab you in the thigh

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

If she leaves scratch marks on your back that means you earned them

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

A sense of humor is the ultimate aphrodisiac

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

I talk a lot of shit for someone who cries when they get frustrated

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

You’re cute, wanna ruin my life?

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

If there’s one thing I’ve learned on twitter it’s women love coffee and stabbing things. And poems.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you deserve happiness, always.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

I’m gonna make this super simple, if your side brings confederate and Nazi flags to a protest you’re on the wrong fucking side

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Find yourself a girl who you have to pat down for weapons

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

You’re cute, wanna destroy eachother?

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Girls that like to lick your fingers are dangerous

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

You’re so pretty when you’re filled with murderous rage

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re worth so much more than you think.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Canada banned assault rifles after 1 mass shooting. 1

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Break her bed, not her spirit

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Shower sex is overrated, let’s fuck in a graveyard and raise the dead

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

3 years

I’m gonna go cry, anyone wanna come? I have snacks.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Caffeine is a food group right?

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Your sex tweets don’t fool me. I know you want cuddles and a forehead kiss

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

3 years

My love language is “I made you food”

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

You talk tough but I bet you like forehead kisses and being told you’re pretty

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

You're cute for a complete fucking mess

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Play with her ass, not her emotions

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Apparently TC stands for Twitter Crush and not Taco Cheese. I know this now.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

What base is where she turns you on but also scares you to death?

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

3 years

Ladies, whats stopping you from looking like this?

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

3 years

Crocks go with everything except dignity

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Funny girls are dangerous

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

I’m sorry I yelled “Uh Oh SpeghettiOs” when I came. Call me back.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

2 years

You’re weird, I like that shit.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

I have a game: send a song but add "in my ass" somewhere and go!

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Sex is like opening a door; the woman should always come first

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Sex so good you tell her to cum inside you

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Fuck nudes show me your multiple personalities

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

I just realized it’s my birthday 😂

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Mcdonalds is trending, did they finally fix the ice cream machine?

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

5 years

@MysterySolvent The last thing you see before you wake up with one less kidney.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Men wear ties because we can’t always carry a rope

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Girls that don't wear pants in the house are dangerous

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Dad voice so strong I heard “yes daddy” in 3 different aisles

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Cereal tastes better at midnight, it’s science.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Lift her up on the kitchen table and make her your snack

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Girls that don’t gag when they brush their teeth are dangerous

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Rock her bed and calm her head

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Eyes tell you everything, for instance; if they are rolled to the back of her head then you’re doing a good job

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

I bet you taste like sin and honey

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

The only thing I want to binge watch is your hips moving

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Fuck nudes send me death threats

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Thick thighs and dazzling eyes

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

If you wake me up at 3AM you better be fucking me or murdering me

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

If she’s being a brat grab her by the hair and spank her. She goes back to factory settings.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Short girls are all cute and sweet and then BAM! They bite you in your kneecaps

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Squish her booty not her heart

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

If your dog is within arm's reach you always pet them. It's the rules

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

2 years

@raekennedy_

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

I only sext on a typewriter because I'm a fucking gentleman.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Relax it's a nude, it's not like I showed you my mint condition Sega Genesis complete with Sonic the Hedgehog

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Neck kisses that make her giggle and wiggle

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Dad bods are nice but mom bods don’t get enough credit. Like I’ll kiss your C-Section scar, wassup?

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you are strong, you are a bad-ass and you can handle it.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

@Rae_volution “ArE wE gONna BAn cArS tOo?”

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

But what happens if you mix Hot Girl Shit with Big Dick Energy? 🧐

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

3 years

Trying to keep your shit together is exhausting

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

3 years

Short girls really be trying to put 6’5” energy into a 5’ frame

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Masturbating is a human reset button

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

If she doesn’t whisper “thank you” to your dick did you really do it right?

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

3 years

Her: you’re so funny Me: thank you, I’m very unstable

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

2020 is just constantly stepping in something wet with your socks on

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

My super power is waking up knowing I'm gonna say fuck a lot

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

I'm gonna cuddle the fucking shit out of you

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

3 years

The bigger the boobs the bigger the attitude, it’s science.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

I would nap you so fucking hard

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

3 years

I’m starting to think Pony by Ginuwine wasn’t about a horse at all

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Not to brag but I haven't had a mental breakdown today

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

3 years

I have a confession: I am, in fact, a Hollaback girl.

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

3 years

Hey girl are you a possum? Cause you’re kind of cute and you scare the shit out of me

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

You traded your soul for a fucking red hat

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Xander Cage The Elephant

@MisterX2U

4 years

Kid Rock looks like Dr. Phil on meth

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