Mike Garrett @MikeGarrett1994 Twitter profile

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 years

Sacked on Friday. In Rock City on the lash on Sunday - I’m so here for Sean Dyche

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

3 months

@KP24 @SadiqKhan What a weird thing to tweet

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 months

@TheMikeStrutter @afcjxmes Whose better then? Some bloke from 30 years ago who wouldn’t get in any prem team now?

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 years

@stevenKloppLFC2 Not sure whats more embarrassing, fighting over football or telling the world you fight over football. Sad

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 months

@TheMikeStrutter @afcjxmes Trophies are team accolades. Athletes always improve, generation by generation which is why every record ever gets broken… bet you think Pele would play in the prem too

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

3 years

@FootballJOE Just a shit Milan Baros

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

I can confirm that @JeffStelling has a very very very difficult job. #GilletteSoccerSamstag

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 months

@adamrowecomedy Go one better and get Simeone - no ones going to be loved like Jurgen, so lets go full anti-christ

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

6 months

@Joey7Barton @FrankieDettori How can you speak about horse racing with any authority if you’ve never been a horse? Horse racing and people racing are two different things and you’re a person (sort of) so stick to people racing instead of horses. Another token human trying to get involved in horses. Centaur

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

3 months

@Cricket1406 @KP24 @SadiqKhan Don’t you live in Brisbane?

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

Imagine not being a tailender, logging in to see @jimmy9 is doing a live stream. Then just witnessing a bloke from Bristol having an absolute meltdown whilst showing us his hall. @gregjames @felixwhite @itsmattchin #tailendersoftheworlduniteandtakeover

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

Are you a middle class white girl? Have you realised you should have listened more at school? Struggling to get a job that funds your desire to pretend you can afford expensive clothes? THEN JOIN AN INSTAGRAM PYRAMID SCHEME AND PRETEND EVERYTHING IS OK

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

1 year

@glastobation People sitting down when its really crowded

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

11 years

More good news today: My mum has officially beaten cancer. Words can not describe how proud I am of her, she is my hero! x

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

1 month

@damienmartyn @primevideosport It was a wicket fair and square… but always makes me laugh how its the aussies that seem to decide where ‘the line’ is and that people have crossed it. Quick to dish it out but can’t take it back

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

1 year

@useGolfFACTS @NoLayingUp Its cocktail time in Dubai for Lady J

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

1 year

@leeds_lord No thats me with him in Nottingham pal

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

@NoLayingUp Me sat waiting for a tweet about Bill Murray

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

10 years

I've got more chance scoring with @Caggie_Dunlop than Liverpool scoring with Lambert.

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 years

Fuck me, me and big Sean gone viral he ain’t Jurgen though

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

7 months

@Joey7Barton @AlexScott You’re so desperate for a GB News gig aren’t you

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

6 years

And 3 people messaged me saying that I look like him. Shall I jump in front of a train now or later?

me

@brad0053

6 years

#OneNightWithMyEx A face only a mother could love

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 months

@huwzat This is an unbelievable idea

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 years

@TheBarmyArmy Win toss, bat first 17-2

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

5 years

Scenes when Curtis follows Amy to the airport #LoveIsland

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

INCORRECT

Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

Our test side is absolutely dire

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

5 years

@RealBobMortimer Have you ever noticed how train guys always refer to being on the phone to countries instead of people? “Hectic morning Col, i’ve been on the phone to the US”

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 years

Posted a photo with the former Burnley manager and now 6 million people have seen it and my ugly ginger mug is everywhere. Football twitter is a strange place man

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

If you’ve gone to a pub tonight you’re an absolute stain

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

3 years

If, like me, you are stuck for hobbies during lockdown, I would strongly recommend winding up Indian cricket fans on social media.

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

5 years

Imagine accidentally walking into Sam Underhill, you’d end up in 2007

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

I swear whenever I look in my iPhone calendar its always the anniversary of the ‘Battle of the Boyne’

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 years

Best night of my life. Nothing comes close #LiamGallagher #Knebworth

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

5 years

@KDBfanpage17 @FootyAccums

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

Swear the cast of the Just Eat adverts are better looking than the actual contestants #LoveIsland

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

3 years

By the way, if you’re also being racist to any of the england players (or anyone for that matter) just go jump in front of the next lorry on the M1 X

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

5 years

@gregjames @Eoin16 I want to relive yesterday again and again and again and again and again

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 years

@Lord_Sugar How are you making this about you?

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

Looking forward to the next project, one final push on this one and we’re done. Fans were fantastic again today as always 💪🏻💪🏻 YNWA MG7 x

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

6 years

My chat is crap, i’m telling a girl on tinder how shit I was at cricket training tonight 🙄

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

Crashing people’s house parties (the app) might just be my new favourite hobby

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

3 years

I wish the tradition of watching films in the last week of school transferred into work

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

1 year

@MarinaPurkiss @bbcquestiontime Shame they didn’t write give him his proper title of Conservative

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

Different breed of wheeler dealers on facebook marketplace. Just had a bloke telling me he’ll only take a bookcase if I take it to him.... I’m giving it away for ZERO POUNDS

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 years

@danwootton @PoppyLegion Surprised you didn’t get someone to video you buying one. Melt

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

Started writing down all my dreams in the night. Last night it was the last Ocean Wednesday ever but you had to get to the SU in a canoe race. I came 20th. @billymthurston & @t_mounsor93 won the canoe race. Well done lads

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

1 year

Its my #smokefree anniversary this week. One year without a cigarette, vape or any kind of nicotine. This book is one of the most important books of the 21st century… if you want to stop smoking - read it. I finished it and knew I’d never smoke again and the best bit? Its easy!

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

Plans. 2020.

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

6 years

I’m going speed dating tomorrow lol

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

1 year

@AverageStriker At least crop all of my face guys

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 years

@TLRailUK Another day, another absolute parody of a train service being ran. What is being done long term to resolve this?

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

6 years

My mum is legit going to Palestine & Israel next week..... all this war shit going on but no, nothing is stopping Jean from seeing where Jesus was born go on gal 💪🏻

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

@NCTailenders When things started to go extremely sideways

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

3 months

@EssexPR @KP24 @SadiqKhan Also, famous people are targets for crime wherever they go; why aren’t other mayors called out for that?

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

Life = completed it. @gregjames @felixwhite @jimmy9 @itsmattchin

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

STOP THANKING BORIS JOHNSON FOR YOUR £3 NANDOS YOU DICKHEADS

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

Why am I so excited to shave my head and look like a knobhead

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

MONEY HEIST IS THE BEST TV SERIES EVER

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

8 years

Can't believe i've just genuinely convinced a group of girls that i'm an actor on Peaky Blinders..... They got my signature 😂😂😂😂

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

6 years

Update: I now have her number. #ShitGetsWickets #BowledHim

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

9 years

Someone called me a "ginger twat" on the tube. Bit harsh but overwhelming in its accuracy.

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

Just outside having a fag and one of the new neighbours came out, I heard him say “Hi I’m Johnny” to which I replied “Hello I’m mike” to then realise theres a Dominos driver behind me and he was just collecting his pizza.

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 years

Full moon, half moon, total eclipse

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

3 years

Basically Ted Hastings needs to investigate the European Super League and lock all the bent ownerd up by the letter of the law, the absolute letter

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 years

Might have just found my favourite view in the world. Beautiful Capri x

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

7 years

On a date and she says "i don't like Oasis, apart from their song Yellow." Nice to meet you goodbye

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 years

I’m SICK of people telling me that Jack Leach is good, he’s a good bloke bla bla bla. The blokes absolutely dog shit. Rather have another seamer and have Root as first spinner

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

6 years

You deserve it you wonderful human 🔴🔴🔴 @Alex_OxChambo

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

5 years

Death, taxes, James Vince looking good then getting out in the 30s

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

3 months

@Skankhuntlcfc @Cricket1406 @KP24 @SadiqKhan You support Leicester so obv a tory though

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

When you put 3 out of bounds off the tee...

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

4 years

STOP THE COUNT!

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

I wonder how many of those protesting in London today (especially the few clashing with police) were posting tweets, instagram photos, facebook statuses saying how thankful they are to front line workers 6 weeks ago.

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

5 years

This is one of the best audio dialogues i’ve ever heard

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 years

In cricket games they actually let fans go on the pitch at half time and you don’t see anyone assaulting players etc… why are football fans such idiots? 3 incidents in a week is no coincidence - knobheads!

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 years

Wonderful watch - @chris_kammy always added that little bit of joy and humour to a Saturday afternoon. Legend

HLTCO

@HLTCO

2 years

3. Chris Kamara stepped down from his role at Sky Sports earlier this year, their tribute to his time with them is a fantastic way to spend 6 minutes of your time.

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

5 years

@TheAnfieldWrap This is pornography and all but can’t believe the Norwich celebration didn’t make the cut when he broke his glasses!

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

5 years

Just told someone at the phone that I couldn’t talk because I was “balls deep in a piece of work” instead of knee deep 😫😫 its been a long week.

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

Day 3 working from home: just plucked my nose hairs for the very first time. Very painful I don’t like it

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

3 years

Hilarious how when @piersmorgan is running his mouth, spurting malicious opinions as facts about others its fine. Yet when he gets called out for it in a calm and dignified manner he can’t handle it and runs away.... love to see someone get their comeuppance

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

2 years

My mate (no names) has just brought a girl out for a date and she said she hated Harry Potter & Friends but likes…. Wait for it…. MRS BROWNS BOYS GOODBYE

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

Can’t wait for Brexit to be back in the news

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

What productive things have I done this weekend then? Well... I got drunk twice, had 3 takeaways and watched all 5 Jurassic Park movies.

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

4 years

Please stop nominating me to do things because I don’t want to do them

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

6 years

What is a ‘9am knobhead’ i hear you ask.... someone who wears trainers for their commute, uses their laptop whilst standing & talks to their commute partner about how great Ocado is.

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994

10 years

Just completed Tinder

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Mike Garrett

@MikeGarrett1994