Max Kerman @Max_Kerman Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

When this is all over I'm going to eat out every goddamn meal of the day and no one can make me feel guilty about it.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

I do not own a car, but there is a snowplow with my name on it.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Bernie always on brand.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

3 years

Or just send your kid to the local public high school cuz everyone ends up at the same 8 Ontario universities anyway. And donate the 100k you’re spending over 4 years on tuition to a local charity.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

3 years

Trucker squad messaging seems to imply the rest of us love lock downs & big pharma, or the inconvenience of arranging our lives around vaccine rules. For the record, we’re all v annoyed by these things. But someone’s gotta make the rules & running a biz w 36 million ppl is hard.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

Special shouts to my ma, Janet Kerman, who is retiring this week after 20 years at Central Tech High School in Toronto. She taught mostly special education & took her job very seriously every single day. At home I witnessed all lesson planning, marking, calling parents.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

6 years

This was a very refreshing, delightful read! My wish is that all young celebs had the disposition and wisdom of Camila. An inspiration for us all.

camila

@Camila_Cabello

6 years

I’M 22!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here are 22 things I learned while being 21 ✨✨✨✨

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

As someone who 1) has to get up and pee in the middle of the night and 2) will check phone because I’m an idiot, last night really paid off!

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

I did about 15 minutes of children’s songs over zoom yesterday for my nephew’s kindergarten class. It felt like 6 hours. I have no clue how teachers are doing this, let alone parents and the kids. Respect to you all. Wowza.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

7 years

MAYBE: Chloe might feel really good about being generous w/ a neighbour - who by no fault of their own - could be going through a tough time

Donald Trump Jr.

@DonaldJTrumpJr

7 years

I’m going to take half of Chloe’s candy tonight & give it to some kid who sat at home. It’s never to early to teach her about socialism.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

Respect my privacy please!

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

6 years

Bulk barn is my fave restaurant.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

Seems the # 1 priority of any society should be caring for the sick and providing safe places for kids to learn & grow. It’s more important than any other investment bc it’ll pay off in a million ways. I imagine it simply starts w/ good pay & treating these pro’s w/ dignity.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Very excited about this. Coach asked, and of course I said yes. Honoured to join Dr. J - Julius Erving - on the board of The Nick Nurse Foundation. We look forward to bringing music, sport and literacy initiatives to underserved communities across the country.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Lol can u fuck off who needs this article right now?

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

I feel personally insulted there is no children’s gift store directly on the way from my place to my sister’s, as I head to my nephew’s 4th birthday party which begins in 20 minutes.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

I know this has happened every year of my lifetime but I still can’t believe the weather.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

A nice lady stopped me in the street and said “what’s your name?” I’m thinking here we go, rolling up my sleeves, ready to kiss babies. Me: “who do I look like?” 😎 Her: “Rodrigo” This went way better than I ever could’ve imagined.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Always fun when I compliment “nice shirt!” at someone who’s wearing an Arkells t-shirt and then they are startled, shyly wave back and generally tend to keep it moving. I am also wearing an Arkells tee.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

Was running bits this morning with my nephews & nieces. I told the youngest that I loved him the least because I haven’t known him for as long as the others. He started to cry and threw his stocking in the fire place. Merry Christmas!

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

3 years

It's Dec 21 and I haven't bought anything for anyone yet but rest assure I will live in this state until late on Dec 24 where I will begin to write cards describing "activities" I plan to offer my loved ones. "Dear nephew, this card entitles you to Chinese food with Uncle Max"

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

Update. Just tried to give my Juno Awards to my parents as a gift for their house. Mom: “Max you’re a great guy and we’re impressed with what you do but we aren’t the archivists of your stuff. Get it out of here.” Never change, Janet 😂.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

The church doesn’t get everything right but sometimes they do

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

Hey everyone, I don’t ask for much but today I need your help. Somehow I’ve been nominated to be the potential name for the @cityofhamilton snow plow. There’s a lot of worthy names, but “Max Kermanator” simply makes the most sense. Plz vote today:

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Some advice: when you have a coffee after dinner and think "is this really necessary, you addict?", it helps to pretend you're in a cute little Italian resto and you just had a big supper and some cute waiter man asks if you want an espresso like it's nbd and you say of course!

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

1 year

Saw some kids wearing Harbord Collegiate Tee: Me: I went there! Kid: are you in Arkells? Me: ah, yes. Kid: you’re on our notable alumni wall. When I was really small my dad and I loved Leather Jacket. Me: oh nice. Kid: what year did you graduate? Me: 2004 Kid: we’re born in 2005

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

To celebrate my dad and I are getting ice cream! Will report back with what flavours we got!

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

strong thread alert.

ki now @noregretskii

@CAMPFlRECHORDS

5 years

max kerman as harry styles: a thread

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

Interesting thing happening in Ontario. Despite other real past grievances, many foes are giving @fordnation kudos for steering the ship right now. Political pressure is important to a functioning society, but so is giving credit. I hope we keep developing this habit, together.

Ian Hanomansing

@ianhanomansing

5 years

Ontario Premier live now talking about Deputy Prime Minister Chrystia Freeland: "She's an absolute champion. I talk to her every single day... we're on the same team, we're on Team Canada.... this is how we're going to defeat #COVID19 , by working together."

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

Truly pleased with the amount of texts I received when it was announced that Obama was also at the game. If you’re wondering: I lingered outside The Leafs dressing room (his compound) and his security man smiled with soft eyes and said “come on brother, let’s keep it moving”.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

NBD

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

You know your band is lame AF when there is a healthy band group text thriving at 7:30am.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

💙

Toronto Maple Leafs

@MapleLeafs

5 years

"You’re here because you’re a part of this." Family, friends, former coaches, and a frontman join the Leafs on the first ever Mentors Trip. Go behind the scenes with The Leaf: Blueprint. #LeafsForever WATCH >>

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

One thing that's become clear to me lately, is when your health is possibly compromised and ability to hang out w/ pals is taken away, all the societal squabbling about little things we used to do feels very silly and frivolous. We can learn from this tho!

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

Update. At Starbucks in the airport. Middle age handsome dude walks up: "Is your name Max?" I'm thinking here we go, rolling up my sleeves, ready to kiss babies. Me: "well, yes it is." dude: "I think your egg bites are ready. They've been calling your name for 5 minutes"

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

To all the good teachers, social workers, civil servants, and everyone out there making our communities richer in spirit and care, we are in your debt.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

In the modern era, one of the most impressive human feats I can think of is people just sitting there. Not reading a book or looking at a phone. It's amazing. Currently at the Moncton airport, and this woman next to me is just sitting here. Alone with her thoughts. Exceptional.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

This is the kind of news I want in my feed. Goodness begets goodness. And if nothing else I am a more hopeful human.

Abdirahim Saeed

@AbdirahimS

4 years

Eid Mubarak all✨ Especially to this Ikea branch in Germany. Local Muslims asked if they can use the car park for prayers in order to maintain distancing per regulations. And Ikea said yes

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Christmas came early this year. Thanks @Raptors ! Will wear this with pride. ❤️ @Klow7 .

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Update we went for waffles

Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

To celebrate my dad and I are getting ice cream! Will report back with what flavours we got!

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

This hot take headline is so great, and the whole column is a wild ride. “It’s the duty of everyone who cares about Toronto - starting with staff and leaders in government - to stop it dead.” The gusto from @alexbozikovic is always such a fun (and informative) read.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

3 years

While the truckers are fighting for *freedom*, the little bar I co-own is currently experiencing a chicken wing shortage. There are no chicken wings cuz truckers are too busy fighting for the very thing we are trying to provide (chicken wings).

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

The only winner of Covid 19 is Massey Hall. Really nailed the right time to reno.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

don't wanna brag but....

City of Hamilton

@cityofhamilton

2 years

Thank you to everyone who participated in our Name the Plow contest. Throughout the voting period, we received a whopping 28,339 votes across all the plow names! Watch the video to see the top 3 winning names!

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

This interview is a big deal me. For context, my first email address was vince_kerman @hotmail .com

Eric Smith

@Eric__Smith

5 years

Music, concerts, Nick Nurse's guitar skills, @fan590 memories & more. Great chatting with @Max_Kerman of @arkellsmusic on our @Sportsnet @Raptors broadcast last night. Thanks, Max. 🤜🤛

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Peeps asking me about new Taylor. The 1 is her best song since Delicate. You can loop that thing for days. Bingo on the short rollout and pivot to chill vibes. Suits the times. I love her BIG pop songs, but not sure she had those on Lover. This is a good restart. Happy it exists.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

Couple dimes

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

We're all annoyed atm, but two itty bitty thoughts: 1) *Most* govt ppl I've met are smart & caring people doing their best. Thankless job. 2) We need to *more* ambitious people working in govt to make it better. You think govt sucks? Then go work for govt and help out.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

If you still don’t quite follow the Four Seasons thing, I recommend you set aside a few minutes today to really understand it.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

In some personal news, I will be a judge in the @NHL skills contest tonight in Fort Lauderdale. You can watch on @Sportsnet & @espn (I think).

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

The OG.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

Popped by @hollandbloorview to sing some songs. This kind of place is the most inspiring & innovative, not to mention life changing facility. Staff are all superheroes. Kiddos & their families show a bravery that’s unmatched. I’m richer for having been in your company.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Making Canada proud.

Brandon Ewing

@B_Skip1717

4 years

Jamal Murray is an incredible basketball player, but most importantly, he is an awesome person. Everyone needs to watch this video.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

Love this. If they need a conductor, I have experience and I'll be there. @Raptors .

Blake Murphy

@BlakeMurphyODC

5 years

Tonight's Canadian anthem will be sung by the fans. Raptors just leaving it up to the crowd. Really cool. Monica doing the U.S. anthem.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

6 years

You have class every week. Who cares. See you at the show.

Ⓜ️

@marissity

6 years

@Max_Kerman I want to get tickets, but I also have class the night you're in Edmonton, so i'm just curious how much i'll miss. 😥

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

I’m back baby.

ARKELLS

@arkellsmusic

5 years

dear @twitter . max here. I'm locked out of @Max_Kerman . Please send help. @TwitterCanada .

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

3 years

Morning after the raps game, it’s warm which is nice but it’s raining so it’s sad and at the coffee shop they’re playing harry styles really loud which is nice but it’s the acoustic heartbroken one so it’s sad.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

3 years

The *essential* morning routine to start the day off right! Microwave a shotglass of chocolate oatmilk for 20 seconds and then add to your pour over coffee and then read the Globe and Mail for an hour and can you tell I don’t have a real job or children.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Yesterday I mistakingly had one cup of coffee. Felt like shit the whole afternoon. Today I will drink many many cups to repent. I am sorry Max. Never again.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

I'm a fucking professional that's how.

Maddy Eisenberg (she/her)

@maddyeisenberg

5 years

@arkellsmusic @hudsonsbay @TeamCanada Yo @Max_Kerman how exactly are you playing piano with them tho

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Lol. Fucking clowns.

Stephanie Smyth

@stephaniesmyth

4 years

#UPDATE - Alameda County Sheriff's office tells @CP24 "We 100% stand by original statement that was released that Mr. Ujiri is the aggressor in this incident...don't be quick to judge based off of what lawyers are saying." @Raptors #Toronto

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

Because I’m a 35 year old adult, today I had my first appt with a family doctor. And it’s confirmed: I am officially 6 feet tall.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

I forgot how much ass slapping there is in baseball. A real delight.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

I am a good uncle on the days that are sunny and warm where I can pick up the kids after school and "take them for ice cream" but it is really ME who wants the ice cream.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Haha, I appreciate @TimHortons latest dark roast coffee commercial. Basically the premise is "our previous dark roasts were shit, and here's proof" cut to ppl spitting out their coffee. And the turn: "but our 2021 dark roast is dope, we promise." Makes me wanna try it tbh.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

Feeling all warm and grateful on this cold AF day ❤️

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Being a bad boy and just cracked a can of coca-cola cuz who cares. Not even a Diet Coke. The real stuff. Who cares!

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

What gets lost in the “bring back masks convo” is that literally no one actually likes masks. ESPECIALLY the poor health care people who have to stand up there and suggest it. What a horrible job to have. They’re just trying to help. So cut em a break & know they hate it too.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Singing it better than Dylan.

Eric Smith

@Eric__Smith

4 years

Championship coach. ✔ Coach of the Year. ✔ Singer. ✔ Solid, @Max_Kerman (& Nick). ----- (Via @arkellsmusic 🤜🤛)

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Rummaging around some old things and it appears in grade 12 I wrote out the lyrics to @samrobertsband “Brother Down” in my Hilroy 80 page I subject notebook / cahier I sujet.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

3 years

So @NickDika & I co-own a little spot called @oddsthebar in #HamOnt . Been a a journey through Covid but we are up & running and it feels amazing. The incredible staff is so focused and hardworking. The new menu is spectacular. And now we have a patio. Come hang when you can.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

Love this.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

If there is one rule that I trust to guide me: always listen to the nerds. They’re always right.

Read Abolish Rent

@JoshuaPHilll

5 years

Somebody decided to invite Dr. Rishi Desai onto Fox. I don’t think they’ll be asking him back.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

My father taught me how to dip montreal bagels into coffee, and now we teach my nephew Kai this family tradition. * update: he took one bite, looked at me in disgust and angrily gave the rest of the bagel to his mother.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

11 months

Dangerous napping anytime after 3:30 this time of year. You’re waking up on another planet.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

3 years

I’ve noticed a funny thing in myself & others lately. It seems the social “muscle” has atrophied, and we’ve lost instinct to go out & do stuff. Movie theatres are open. Resto’s too. If you’re boosted you have very little risk of getting sick. Go do stuff, folks! Work that muscle.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Oh my god

achilles ♠️

@achmonstr

4 years

@arkellsmusic WAP but make it acoustic CC: @CBCMusic

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

3 years

If you’re in the mood for something delightful: Only Murders In The Building on Disney plus. Steve Martin, Selena Gomez, Martin Short. Crime Comedy. Super nicely produced. An antidote to daily news. And something the whole fam can enjoy.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

3 years

Just saw a movie in theatres!!! I love it so much. I missed it so much. I missed the following things: 1) ordering a large popcorn & finishing a third. 2) getting nibs and m&ms & eating more than I planned 3) napping for 8-10 min during movie. We’re back baby! @CineplexMovies

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

1 year

There is no greater responsibility than the person at the front of the left turn late as we all wait for that green arrow. Lock in my friend, we're all counting on you back here.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

True story: I played baseball with Frankie Lasagna at Christie Pits. Although he missed the Judge homerun my inches, I’ll say he is a great ball player and even better club house guy. Owns a great Italian restaurant on Harbord Street called Terrazza. @BlueJays

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

1 year

Finally a headline we can all agree on

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

1 year

10/10 we have a winner

Leah

@filinsk

1 year

The tiny Arkellian. Happy Halloween!! @arkellsmusic @Max_Kerman

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

Shouts to everyone working at the polls today. Y’all were professional and lovely. Was in and out in literally 2 minutes. Go vote everyone!

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

Nick and I own a little bar in #HamOnt called @oddsthebar and there is a Taylor Swift night happening tonight. Because I asked if we could do it. Go sing your heart out. Have fun!

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

I want to have a calm, civilized conversation with someone who represents the motorcycle riders union, and ask if there are any work-arounds regarding the loudness of their mufflers. I will send a zoom link.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

Sometimes I’m in a coffee shop in a different city surrounded by creative looking types who don’t appear to have a real job and I’m sort of intimidated by them and their weird style and I’m also judging them for not having a real job and then I realize I am one of those people.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

I notice that friends like, cheer me on and speak to me like I'm a child (or very old person) when I happen to lift or help moving something. Really speaks to the lack of an expectation when it comes to Max + physical labour. I am very OK with this❤️ Thank u god bless.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

yes yes, if you follow us on IG you know that I support 2-3 local coffee shops every day and 90% of my income goes to local coffee shops but thanks for the advice Kellie-Ann.

Kellie-Ann Barry

@RadicalReviews

4 years

@Max_Kerman @TimHortons Support a local coffee chain instead, Tim Horton's doesn't deserve your money.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

3 years

The restaurant is immediately an 8/10 if they bring a massive basket of chips and salsa in the first 30 seconds of sitting at the table.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

2 years

I don’t know if this makes sense but eating any form of melted cheese makes me feel like a bad boy, but eating room temperature cheese from a charcuterie board makes me feel distinguished and borderline healthy.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

Oh hai🙋🏻‍♂️💅🤳

Toronto Raptors

@Raptors

5 years

4... 3... 2... 1... History. #WeTheNorth

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

3 years

Listening back to Taylor Swift back catalogue at the moment, and I think reputation really holds up. I don't think many folks were totally ready for it (pun intended sorry) when it came out, but the songwriting/production is edgy + great. Delicate is maybe her best song ever.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

3 years

I propose a motion that all employers, brands and miscellaneous jolly people must provide their normal open bar holiday parties as soon as it’s safe to do so. If it happens to be a random week in the middle of March, so be it. The people deserve it.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

My typical "yelp a cool looking coffee shop" morning routine didn't quite work out today in Amsterdam. Walked 20 minutes only to find this place didn't serve coffee at all!

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

I truly feel like it’s my bday every damn day of the year when I got the best teammates a boy could ask for. Thankyyyyy❤️❤️❤️

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

5 years

(it was a weed shop)

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

Today’s binary weather report: you can take a stupid little stroll. Just wear boots and a winter jacket.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

3 years

govt has bungled a bunch of stuff and we all have the right to gripe. But making rules right now sux, especially when everyone at the party has a different idea about what is a “good idea”. For all the talk about “control”, being a politician seems like a miserable job rn haha.

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Max Kerman

@Max_Kerman

4 years

I will eat ice cream every night of the lockdown out of protest.

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