Mary Samsonite @Mary_Samsonite_ Twitter profile

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Mary Samsonite

9 months

I ride in an all female Mardi Gras parade in New Orleans. We are the Krewe of Cleopatra, and our signature throw is glittered wine glasses. I’m doing the @taylorswift13 Eras this year! this will be a thread as I finish them🧵:

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Last Seen Profiles

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

8 months

Reminder that this is the hottest thing Travis Kelce has ever done

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

8 months

@iheartswift_ He and the other guy, not sure his name but he’s always with her, MUST be tired. They work hard protecting our girl 🥰

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

10 months

@MrsJellySantos Maybe I’m crazy but the lottery tickets and sauces have me thinking this a pretty good gift lol, and who can’t use rice?!

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

9 months

Papa Kelce trying to find Law & Order on TV

Tiffani 🩶

@PALLOTAYVIS

9 months

PLS Ed is so unbothered 😭

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

5 years

Someone slap a 12 lead EKG on Peter for the final rose ceremony for his own safety. That boy was a walking arrhythmia when he asked @madiprew for a rose. Something reallll big between those two, I swear 🥺 #PilotPete #TheBachelor

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

8 months

@midnightspoets Like girlie we beeeen knew 😂

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

2 years

I’ll be honest— I thought when my parents paid for a limo to pick me and my friends up from school and we went to go eat Mexican food and get mani/pedis—I thought that was mega. I ain’t have shit on Camp North.

North West (parody)

@norisblackbook

2 years

We outside! Camp North went better than I expected! The Malikas set everything up perfectly, everyone got along, no paparazzi, the location didn’t get leaked to the press, and not one of my siblings showed up. A truly magical weekend. Read more:

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

10 months

@Pdwe00 @kjonesy1587 She was shown three times for a grand total of less than 30 seconds. Get over yourself.

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

10 months

@Letty13Swifite Good for him! I’d advertise shit sandwiches if they paid me $20million 😂

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@VIsOnCorneliaSt Omg I remember when I first started dating my husband and he had a lot of facial hair and my nose and mouth stayed red from like actual beard burn from making out. I love this for her 😂

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

@taylorstightend Think she saw #her IG story watching his game and decided to re-establish dominance publicly 😆

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

9 months

@caitamirrorball The way his giant hand covers her entire abdomen dear GOD

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@tayvisnation The way I’m gonna LOSE IT if she’s in his jersey

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

9 months

@inmydream1and It was like a trickle down of neck kisses 🫠🥵

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

@inmydream1and @tswiftkelce OH— I did not think of this hahahaha

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

8 months

Travis on his way to Singapore after seeing those mashups

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

2 years

@Joyce66477209 @BrianEntin God I just can’t imagine this being my son. It’s just an awful place to be as a mother.

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

@mleshep I firmly believe that while he was looking at the replay on the screen, I think they showed her on the screen after the play

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

2 years

@kanthonyily I will stop… Do not stop… I will stop.. DO NOT STOP

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@ravngirls Omg this is so Conrad and Belly

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

3 years

@thatscentlilies I had no idea how much I needed this in reverse DEAR GOD. On Easter too?! I’m sinning willfully for these two and I ain’t even religious.

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

Jason & Travis Kelce are #1 on iTunes. This is great 😂 @JasonKelce @tkelce

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

5 years

@JamesHasson20 I actually love Chris, but he was clearly shown upstairs on Bella’s TikTok 3 or 4 days ago and again singing with her yesterday. So It just isn’t adding up.

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

9 months

@luvsickinmybed I have watched this clip 87 times

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@nottownes Also wasn’t there a gold rush reference in Harry’s video for satellite?? Makes me think he knows the song is about him

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

2 years

@saturninterlude I honestly think shonda went this route bc we already know the characters. Seems like the natural progression bc we don’t know Sophie yet. Dragging Polin out through season 4 would have been exhausting. I’m desperately waiting for Benophie though 🥹

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

10 months

@jennaxkc This is my primary theory of why we won’t be seeing any sideline interaction 😂

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

Hey @tkelce my husband already got called into work today so I’m solo for Thanksgiving too. I cooked a shit ton of food if anyone in Louisiana wants it 😭😆 #KFCWithTravis

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

8 months

@eaglesstshirt I wanna know what song he put on to make her laugh like that 😂

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

10 months

@Sammiii @doinkpatrol When I sailed the Drake last year on the way to Antarctica, it was unbelievably calm. Blew my mind. But on the way back—- we suffered. Looked just like the shit you see on TikTok

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@faiiryaura I literally just said the same thing

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

10 months

@DanielaChous He’s so fucking fine my god

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

2 years

@kanthonyily Haha I love that he said double entendre like we didn’t already know 😂 sir!

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

8 months

Joe Alwyn found a wounded gazelle with a big ass bank account and countless connections and said aight ima take that. What a pos.

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

8 months

@HindleyMar50350 @midnightspoets Never said it was bad, just obvious there was yb discourse yearssss ago.

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@NoContextBrits Just need shrooms 🍄

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

@lovercla13 This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long as fucking time

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

@taylorstightend I’d love if #they went to this party but not getting my hopes up. But that’s pat’s RR btw. So idk if they’d be in the car with them

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@NeelMadhavan What a good take! We love you Neel 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

8 months

@AdamSchefter And people wondered why they show her on the screen…… EVERYONE SAY THANKS TAYLOR

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

8 months

@nflswiftie I couldn’t hear shit on the livestream. The poor girl was losing it 😂 what did Taylor say in place of London? Or she just skipped over it entirely?

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

For the record, I was right 🫡

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

3 years

@I_Know_Shows @itwasglorious_ Yes. And he answers so fast! I think he was waiting/hoping she would say she felt something in that bee sting moment too….

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

2 years

@simonegifs I just watched it 47 times and his mouth is wide ass open on her shoulder. He is literally eating her 🫠🫠🫠🫠

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@indiasvenus 😂 that deuxmoi post was notttt wrong. She’s never far!

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@kookiemonssta Lollllll that’s the face of a man on a VERY short leash

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

@PhilDahlhauser @RobDemovsky All of her combined air time has been less than two and a half minutes. If you feel threatened just say so.

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

9 months

@thinktayvis really wanna know if he knew she would come down to the field or if he was surprised

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

10 months

My delusional thoughts want Taylor & Travis and Josh & Hailee to go on a double date.

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

3 years

Starting their relationship outside of the show may have been the best thing for them #TheBachelor

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

Safe to say Taylor and Travis both would like to eliminate today/this weekend from their memory 😭

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

5 years

Hannah Ann reminds me of a fucking Sears model and she thinks she’s Kate Moss. This girls drives me. #TheBachelor

Lauren Cummings

@LittleLadyLaur

5 years

Peter: Hannah Ann's a model Cosmo editor: oh so she has a leg up Hannah Ann: #TheBachelor

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@indiascoreys GODDAMNIT

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@tkelce never missed a beat. He’s lightnin’ on his feet 🏈 #chiefskingdom

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

@12Upmagazine I’m from Louisiana. Looks pretty accurate. And that Utah Mormon family took me out 💀

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@selenaesmivicio I’ve watched this gif 87 times in a row

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@belixa13 @DanielaChous @bobaonmymind This may be a bigggg reach but does he know that bc Marjorie was an opera singer?? Like did Taylor teach him that?

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@tayvisnation_13 @kelceswifts It’s 100% obvious he was being sarcastic.

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

3 years

@SharpwinMadness Oh this is immaculate

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

3 years

@Jordyyyyyyyy_ Please bring an ax or something to cut through the roof!

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

8 months

@tayswagsurf It’s borderline terrifying 😭

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@reputacult TRAV CAN FIGHT

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

9 months

@dogmomRN23 I can take a joke. But that was pretty low.

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@maybeeevirgo Lucyyyyy! Where’s my white collarless shirt from Fred Segal?!

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

@tayvisglow Literally same bc I’ve seen nothing and everyone is freaking out

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

3 years

@chaoticguitar I’ve watched this prob 947 times

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

2 years

@FerrariRise @kanthonyily I don’t remember this! Was this their book or book 3?

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

9 months

@Letty13Swifite It’s also legal so they can’t even use that argument anymore. I wish people would just let them live

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

@Tbog12 @SNFonNBC @lmhelmbrecht oK tAmMy

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

@DanielaChous He is soooo attractive in literally every possible way. They are both so lucky to have each other

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

9 months

@RoniinPeril Where’s this from?!

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

8 months

I’m going through some pretty bad family stuff right now so this video will be on repeat to distract me until I feel better 😭❤️‍🩹

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

9 months

First up is debut 🦋🤠

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@khaelx_ Bruh I hit the wall so fucking hard

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

5 years

@em_livetweets @RealitySteve Could be coincidence and I sure hope so. But my gut instinct says they were in Atlanta together. I’m truly not a Hannah Ann fan. Ughhh.

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

8 months

I didn’t realize just how nuts the Tayvis stans really are. Trust me I love keeping up with them, but some of this shit I’m seeing from y’all is WILD and very juvenile.

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

8 months

@Keptulikeanoat1 Fuckkkkkk allllllll the way off

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

9 months

@kjonesy1587 It makes you normal! Happy people like to see other people happy ❤️💛

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

9 months

@avasreputation He’s just so unproblematic even though he’s crazy and I bet she loves every second

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

9 months

@taylornation13

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

9 months

Someone said Taylor Swift distracted the Chiefs all the way to the Super Bowl and I’m just 😂😭💀

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

@BonerWizard Not hating this either. Olive Garden is fucking gas too. And it would be hysterical and they’re both dorky enough to do something like rent out an entire Olive Garden 💀

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@khaelx_ RUE WHEN WAS THIS

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

2 years

@kathonysiris How have I never noticed the tears in his eyes GOOD LORD 🥹🥹🥹🥹

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

@RohitaKadambi I ain’t hating if he did. Cheesecake Factory is fucking gas

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

@garettnelson @PatMcAfeeShow Breaking news: nfl player has a significant other but this particular one is for some reason a distraction 🤔

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

9 months

@KyleBrandt @gmfb She lives in yalls heads rent free 😮‍💨 “iM sO tIrEd oF hEaRiNg AbOuT hEr” but you also can’t stfu about her 🙄

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

10 months

@EW It’s not Taylor’s job to sit back and laugh at unfunny misogynystic jokes

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

9 months

Bitching about Taylor and saying “Who Cares?!” is awfully dense. You wanna know who cares? Apparently the millions of people tuning in to watch every week. They’ve been setting viewing records and social media records, and making millions of dollars. So yes, LOTS of people care.

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

@DanielaChous I always feel terrible for saying it be he literally couldn’t be more unattractive. Like something is off. And I keep thinking about that fuck ass cat meme 😭

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

@kelceswifts @inmydream1and Right?! Bc he finally gets to be the star (he still isn’t 💀)

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

5 years

While I’m still salty, I DID NOT SPEND OVER $200 ON DECORATIONS AND FOOD FOR OUR FINALE PARTY JUST TO HAVE BARB DESTROY PETER AND MADI ON LIVE TV. I wanted my happy ending and I am unwell 😤 #TheBachelorFinale #TheBachelor #PilotPete #WHYBarb #TeamMadi

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

@Rd1Tab2 @people They’re the last two people on the planet that need better PR 😂

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

11 months

It’s wild watching Kyle Marisa Roth act like Deux Moi is the bad guy when they literally both post lies about Taylor. Like how does she think she’s any different or any less disgusting??? Am I missing something?

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

1 year

I literally cannot explain why I am so utterly invested in this but goddamn it, I am.

Jenna

@jennaxkc

1 year

Red Friday news in these KC streets is Taylor flew in yesterday, per a local radio report, and his neighborhood was EXTRA busy 👀 Hopefully they got to privately celebrate our guys birthday!! 🥳 BUT, ITS RED FRIDAY #ChiefsKingdom #Swifties I hope you have your KC RED on!! ❤️💛

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Mary Samsonite

@Mary_Samsonite_

10 months

Everyone send good vibes to my dog, Jax. His euthanasia appointment is Saturday. I’m trying really hard to have happy times our last couple days. It’s hard bc my heart is absolutely breaking into a million pieces 💔🐾