Marsad Aurangzeb @Marsadist Twitter profile

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

5 months

Possibly the shortest thing I've ever written

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Last Seen Profiles

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 month

What a situationship feels like when your friends don't know a single thing about it

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

3 months

Why must the final act of love always be letting go

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

4 months

Fake idgafer I saw you looking through their old chats again to figure out where it went wrong

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

Remember that time when your little sister asked you to play with her but you were a moody teenager so you didn't and now she'll never be that young again and you'll never live in the same house

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

22 days

He actually didn't match her freak. Her freak was so tough he had to off her.

𖤐

@strwbrryvape

22 days

when you find a shordy that matches ur freak

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

My notes app is a horrifying place

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

16 days

"I'll never love anyone again" but you WILL. Do you not see that you are an endless well of love? That summer will pass and your voice will beckon the kindest things in the world? You will love relentlessly over and over again.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

@urlocalweedboy You could live a hundred lives and not love as deeply as I have and will in just one, behave yourself.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

4 months

Why don't they merge old age homes with orphanages - it just makes sense to me? Kids get paternal figures and old people get a taste of youth's vibrancy

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

"delulu is the solulu🤪" bro you're almost 30 go find a wife or something

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

5 months

Terrible time to be alive because everyone is trying to get over someone

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

"I did it for the plot" no you didn't bro you actually loved her

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

"masti nae rukni chahiye" abay shuru kab hui thi

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

5 months

If a few years ago you told me Greta Thunberg would be more vocal and passionate about her support for Palestine compared to Malala I wouldn't believe you

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

5 months

Nobody has better posture than a dude dating a girl the exact same height as him

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

George Orwell you would have loved Pakistan as a concept

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

5 months

"are we friends in every univer-" bro I low-key don't even fw you in this one

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

7 months

The Muslim league, 1947:

aima🌿

@elliekickazz

7 months

3 weeks until pakistan, very mixed emotions

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

4 months

Somewhere out there in Pakistan a young man is telling a girl "chand Nazar nahi aya, Zara tasveer tou bhejdein" and she's falling for it. Incredible things are happening in the South Asian subcontinent this evening.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

2 months

Hey guys do you actually listen to the whole 15 seconds of carefully curated music I put on my IG story or do you just skip past it like an incurious neanderthal?

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

3 months

@normalizingisBs When it does, it often finds you again far too late. I refuse to leave love up to chance, chance is cruel. It is indifferent to what I feel. It is indifferent to my desperation.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

2 months

Sometimes late nights I just be up calculating my GPA, no music or anything just straight rawdogging numbers

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

2 months

"we accept the love we think we deser-" gand marwa yaar

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

7 months

"it's actually nice she doesn't get mad at me over little things anymore" you lost her bro

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

So my foodpanda rider was hearing disabled and I thought I'd learn the basics quickly to make him feel better AND I DID it's actually very easy to learn I can't believe I didn't start before. But yes, he was happy and I gave him another tip. I'm very proud of you Zain❤️

Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

I have TEN MINUTES to learn basic sign language this is urgent

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

"yea I got options" the options:

akrama

@AkramaMianoor

6 months

Shetaan vs Dajjal

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

2 years

Amir Liaqat will not be missed, and he will not be remembered as a great man. I'm not going to pretend to respect him, neither should any of you. We don't die as equal men.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

9 months

Taylor swift is actually a terrible person lmao - she knows full well she's one of the most influential artists/people in the world and refuses to say something about the ethnic cleansing currently underway in Gaza. Demand better from the people you look up to.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

11 days

Yes, put all your faith into that one person thousands of miles away with commitment issues trust me nothing bad will happen

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

Sometimes mentally I'm just "Ma'am ye Mera Hindi Grammar homework hai, ai ma'am tu Pagal, ma'am tu Pagal"

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

The prettiest girl yk probably has crippling anxiety

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

4 months

Romanians after getting a massive lead during Ramadan because the Pakis wanna act Muslim

Politics UK

@PolitlcsUK

4 months

🚨 NEW: The Tories are planning a league table for migrant crime [ @Telegraph ]

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

All it takes is two adequately good looking politicians for the entirety of Pakistan to let out their homoerotic tendencies if you think about it

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

Ordered a sandwich from this Lebanese place and asked them if it was possible to send it before iftar time because I ordered late. They did, but also sent me a bunch of extra food so if anyone tells you there is no kindness in the world tell them I have lived it.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

5 months

"they would have loved this" but they're just not around anymore man, move on

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

7 months

If she's talking to a dude with curly hair it's over for you bro just move on

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

This guy chased me home after I told him I wanted free and fair elections someone help

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

2 years

LSE's official account... 💀

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

Losing Jemima has to be a generational fumble

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

8 months

People in relationships over two years long breaking up is always a little strange to me like go back to your wife

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

2 years

Once again I am going to have to ask all of you to stop what you're doing and look at my niece (she's going to fix the economy)

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

2 months

If you have a crush on me just keep it to yourself because I am paralyzed by the idea of not living up to the expectations of the idealized version of me you have in your head

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

2 months

You guys ever fuck up so bad as a kid you wished for nuclear war so you didn't have to deal with the consequences

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

Fact check: Animals were NOT being burnt to death by protestors - the video clearly shows animals being taken to safety by the shepherds; the building caught fire due to SHELLING by the forces - not civilian actions. Stop spreading fake news.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 month

Just letting you guys know I'd never be in a situationship but that's just me though

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

No because what kind of an emotionally underdeveloped manchild of a husband do you have to be to say that when your wife asks you to taste something this ad always pissed me off like dude just tell her it's nice it's not that deep

عثمان

@usmssss

1 year

has been there since i was born 😭

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

5 months

Date idea: I write you three poems then go die in war

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

I keep writing things at this ungodly hour

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

The women in my family are my biggest haters...

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

I need you to think about what you look like before you say things like this

➖

@pakipilled

1 year

should the police greet these terrorists with roses just because they’re women?

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

5 months

God was my only witness

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

2 months

What I've learned about the Indian elections recently is that there's a man named Dhruv Rathee who's got that dawg in him

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

Behave

Laeeq Ahmad

@doctor_selfish

6 months

Women should be banned from voting tomorrow because they don't know the ABC of politics and will vote Khan because he is handsome. #Elections2024

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

Hey guys this valentine's day write her a list of reasons describing how she's EXACTLY like her mother. She's going to love it.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

You guys need to stop fantasizing about BB - her "flaws" were being a corrupt, feudalistic politician who'd sell the government to the highest bidder. Reminder: BB and her rat were even convicted/accused of money laundering and corruption by at least 3 foreign governments.

غفران خالد

@maybe_ghuf

6 months

Sometimes I wonder the trajectory Pakistani politics would have taken had Benazir not been murdered. Like any mainstream politician she had a lot of flaws. Still, she was a national leader. And she and Nawaz had arrived at a decent working relationship to put 90's politics behind

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

4 months

Everybody is NOT a lover boy or lover girl some of you mfs are LYING

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

4 months

I hope you're taking care of yourself, and I hope you don't have to read this again

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

20 days

If you tell me goodnight you can still keep sending reels without engaging in conversation because I truly understand

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

I dress like this almost every other day in Paris and this girl once told me there's no need to put in the effort because "we're at an engineering school..." and I think it humbled me a little

ere

@cilleon

1 year

prettiest man ever

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

4 months

@Salemschild_ Yup fair point, hard to guarantee the kids safety and I doubt they'd have a system in place here to protect the kids effectively. Perhaps one exclusively with women? I think that would be arguably safer.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

Aced the immunology final with this Finn pen btw

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

9 months

@thatf9babe Been trying to say this for days but everyone gets pressed over it for some reason

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

As humans we're WAY too chill about the fact that parrots can talk

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

Hundreds of Pakistanis drowned in Greece and the only country that's out on the streets is...Greece. Not a single protest in Pakistan, no media coverage, and no outrage. Your lives are expendable in the eyes of your own people.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

The word for anklets in Urdu is Paazaib and it irks me a little bit because that word is way too pretty for it to mean anklet

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

5 months

An excerpt from a longer poem

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

5 months

I also found a long letter in the trenches of my Google drive that talks about this concept from two years ago

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

3 months

@punished_daniel This is no reason to be fired, as irresponsible as he may have been. A simple conversation conerning his behavior would suffice; we do not always need to jump to extreme repercussions imo which is guided by the belief that most people who make these mistakes are inherently bad.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

@arham_hamid_ My taxes paid for your lifestyle. Start acting like it. Your dad was, is, and will always be a servant of the state. Nothing more.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 month

First date idea: I tell you you're enough

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

4 months

As a Pakistani living in Europe I just know if WW3 happens I've got 0 chances of survival I'm not even going to try to do anything and just watch the office until I'm sent to the guillotines. Use me as a hostage for negotiations? Bad luck, my government broke and dgaf

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

5 months

I don't like airports

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

Word for word.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

2 years

Pakistan making it to the semi finals reminds me of how you and I can make it to the end against all odds, miss you please text back

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

@__Azzi__ Bhai hospital hi betha hun mashware ke liye shukriya

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

4 months

Little sister just sent this to me and my heart briefly sunk

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

Hot take but I think this stuff is genuinely corporate sabotage. Finding a WHOLE lizard in a cake is insane and if you've ever baked something you know it's impossible to miss an ENTIRE reptile corpse in the batter

Islamabad Food Authority

@ifaislamabad

1 year

BREAKING♨️: IFA team, led by DD Ops & AC Shalimar, SEALED a renowned bakery after CRACKDOWN. It. Uncovered expired food, poor hygiene & absence of MRDs on all items. IFA prioritizes food safety & public health. #FoodSafety #PublicHealth @dcislamabad @Noormengal_ @rmwaq

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

9 months

This goes to ALL the popular artists who refuse to sit and think about what's going on on the other side of the world. Every single one of them. Because, and this may surprise you, it's not a crazy idea to ask people to call for an end to war crimes - no matter who they are.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

5 months

@kobayashicore "bro, wallahi this setup is the one. Trust."

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

Please be honest with yourselves THIS is what a real pizza looks like

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 month

Nothing worse than someone you find annoying being physically attractive

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

What if I just wanted a hug

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

5 months

Anyways here's a poem about numbers

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

4 months

Shehroz loosing Syra was a national fumble

Sara

@sara_pirzadaa

4 months

Syra yousuf won eid media. so pretty and simple

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

Wrote this a few months ago

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

PTI has the chance to do the funniest thing ever by holding an online Jalsa on valentine's day

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

7 months

Not sure what moral compass allows a state to (performatively) stand with Palestine while simultaneously oppressing the Baloch - its own people.

Baloch Yakjehti Committee (Islamabad)

@BYCislamabad

7 months

@ICT_Police baton-charged, used tear gas shelling and water tanks on peaceful protestors. #MarchAgainstBalochGenocide

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

He's actually done the best + most accurate version of the Wes Anderson trend. I love everything about this video because I was JUST thinking to myself why nobody includes the sudden camera pans in their videos and then I see this.

Hamza

@boybawarchi

1 year

Wes Anderson + baking 👨🏽‍🍳

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

3 months

And some people are footnotes in the books of those they love the most

Camosca 🐏

@Kodokodar

3 months

some people are poetry, some people are essays

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

2 years

Guys for national gf day post your girl with "glimpse of us" by joji on your story trust me she'll love it

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

6 months

Sometimes at airports I convince random people that I'm married and have 2 kids who I can't wait to see

Mahad20

@mahadmalik_20

6 months

MY BIGGEST ICK IS PEOPLE WHO LIE ABOUT STUFF THEY HAVE NO REASON TO BE LYING ABOUT

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

@arham_hamid_ Aapke walid aur aap jese logon ko khilakar hamne ehsaan hi Kiya hai.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 year

In Islam god exists beyond the concept of gender/sex because none are attributed to him. The masculine pronouns are used in the Quran purely for linguistic reasons. In Arabic masculine pronouns are used when the gender is either unknown - or neither male or female.

naik parveen 🇵🇸

@inqilabiHoe

1 year

Today's question: Kiya "God" mard hain??

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

1 month

I used to get annoyed when my mom constantly took photos of us together everywhere we went so I told her we didn't need so many. Then she told me her parents were always reluctant to take photos so now she barely has anything with them and I never complained after that

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

8 months

Do policy makers in Pakistan like...ever think before they do something? A seven year old could explain to you why this isn't a great idea.

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

4 months

To find out if someone is actually, truly, considerably into you, I suggest the bullshit test, where you see if they can put up with your bullshit for a week at the very least

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Marsad Aurangzeb

@Marsadist

7 months

Let's not turn into hyper-nationalists because of one airstrike please - the Pakistani establishment is not your ally.

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