I get a random call from Texas. I pick up and a woman with a thick Indian accent named Megan Johnson tells me that she's an agent for the IRS and that there's a warrant for my arrest for owing back taxes. Of course I know it's bullshit but I was bored & had time for their asses.
Please don't kill Captain America
Please don't kill Captain America
Please don't kill Captain America
Please don't kill Captain America
*sees Thanos and Cap face off at the end of the
#AvengersInfinityWar
trailer*
They're gonna kill Captain America.
Natasha Tynes learned a valuable lesson today. To quote "The Wire", "That'll teach you to give a fuck when it's not your turn to give a fuck."
I hope that MTA worker doesn't lose her job over some weak shit.
*sees Killer Mike is trending*
Me: Oh dope, Killer Mike is one of my favorite rappers. Lemme see what's going on.
Twitter: You see the NRA TV video he did?
Me:
Quick follow-up...Natasha Tynes don't know why that worker was eating on the job. For all she knows she could be diabetic and her blood sugar was low or she was taking blood pressure meds because she gotta deal with nosy assholes all day or maybe she was just fucking hungry.
Karen Price can go fuck herself.
In the past, Tom Brady got his O-line Audis.
Aaron Rodgers got his O-line $20,000 ATVs.
But Karen Price wants to police what the fuck Lamar Jackson does with HIS money? GTFOH.
1 Google search & you'll find Lamar Jackson's charity work. Asshole
#Bright
was dope...critics don't know their asses from a hole in the ground. Was it "Citizen Kane"? No, but it wasn't "The Worst Film Of The Year" and definitely didn't merit the bashing it received.
Final Jeopardy:
This game show host was wavy as fuck, made you feel like a genius when you had the correct answers and will be sorely missed.
Question: Who is Alex Trebek?
#BenCarson
let his wife take the rap for buying that expensive ass table?...That is some. Hoe. Shit.
I bet you when they go on walks he's on the inside of the sidewalk.
The Chief of the French Open says Serena can't wear a bodysuit that helps with her blood flow and prevent blood clots, for the sake of the women dressing more conservative, meanwhile before Venus & Serena, I ONLY watched women's tennis to see their underwear. 🙄
Kanye West is in the Oval Office advocating for a pardon for Larry Hoover...a Supreme Court nominee was asked about boofing a few weeks back...there's 10 more weeks in 2018 and I can't wait for the season finale.