🧵One month since our Lottie went ahead of us. It feels unreal like a bad dream & having so many years ahead without her is daunting. God has been our rock & we remind ourselves & our twins daily that though it appears otherwise, the moon is always round & God is always good.
3 months missing our Lottie. Her absence in our home is still so raw. We’ll walk wounded the rest of our days on earth but I pray we hobble well.
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
And we’re out of here! We will continue breathing treatments at home and have a check up with the doctor tomorrow. We are so thankful for all of the support and continued prayers. God has walked with us.
2 months without my baby
Psalm 40:17
As for me, I am poor and needy,
but the Lord takes thought for me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
do not delay, O my God!
My 98 year old great grandmother Lily Ebert, an Auschwitz survivor, has just become a great-grandma for the 35th time!
“I never expected to survive Auschwitz and start a family. Babies are the best revenge against the Nazis.”
(📸 Me and Lily in 2003)
Grateful for my MDiv even if theobros in the comments think it’s waisted on me 🙃 I met my husband in hermeneutics, now I give helpful feedback in his sermon prep 😱, disciple & counsel woman, lead Bible studies, chair our missions committee & disciple my kids with my education
Praying for a better night! She’s off oxygen but still needs breathing treatments regularly so we’ll be sticking around until she’s less dependent on that.
This week for our family has included 1 full leg cast 4 cases of the flu, 1 ambulance ride 1 case of croup. We’re home now but weary and appreciate your prayers for health, wisdom and provision.
Prayers for The babe. She took a tumble yesterday & got a fracture & full leg cast. We’re thankful it wasn’t worse but it’s going to be tough as her mobility is very limited & she wants to pull up still. Lottie is generally in a good mood but it’s going to be a long couple weeks
The outpouring of prayer and support for our family has been such a blessing this week. You have held up our arms and been the church. For those who have asked
In lieu of flowers, please consider giving here:
We’re overjoyed to announce God has blessed us with a baby number 5 due in September. We’re so thankful to God for doing this new thing in what’s felt like a desolate season. 🧵
11 months since Lottie went to Jesus. As we’ve passed through holidays and her birthday I’ve wanted not just to remember her but to continue to show care and love for her. I think this factor is especially present for me as her mother. 🧵
We’re so thankful for so many who have been praying for Ethan and I since Lottie went to Jesus. This weekend we’re at a bereaved parents retreat in Nashville if you’d be praying that it’s a blessing for us and helps us continue to work through our grief together.
One year. In some ways it means a lot. We’ve survived a whole year of grieving our child, of flashbacks, of answering “how many kids do you have?” and watching our 5 year olds wrestle with questions many adults haven’t faced yet. In other ways it doesn’t mean much.
This world is not our home, I’m often talking with students about having an eternal perspective and Lottie’s departure has deepened that for me. We are overwhelmed with grief but also with gratefulness to have loved her & seen Gods goodness throughout her life. Maranatha
Yesterday was 8 months without our Lottie. Grief isn’t a smooth road and this last month was a major dip. We finally received her autopsy which ushered in more grief. Unrelated trials pouring salt on our wounds, it’s been rough and we’re deeply discouraged.
Welcome sweet Eleanor. After going into labor at 3am she was born at 4:30pm, 8lb 2oz and 21 inches long. We’re doing well and look forward to her meeting the twins tomorrow.
A year ago today we buried our daughter. Her grave has a 105 year old to her left & today laid to her right a 47 year old father from our church. We are honored our little girl will rise with such a faithful saint. Pray for his wife & 2 children. We’re blessed to suffer together.
5 months. Lottie would be 18 months old now, such a fun age, it’s breaking my heart not to get it with her. I don’t know what being with her in Heaven will look like but I know it’s better than what I’m missing now “an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory.” Maranatha
🧵For 2 years today, I’ve longed for heaven exponentially more than I ever have in the 26 years of my pilgrimage there. It’s one of the strange gifts grief can give as Lottie running ahead cut a tether to this world and replaced it with a line pulling my heart towards heaven.
After being back in the real world for a week, I’m really envious of Downton Abby style mourning clothes. It’s weird to see the world moving around like everything is ok.
🧵4 months missing Lottie. Boy is today hard the 5th has been brutal every month, especially when we can’t just stay in. There’s so many griefs within grief. We grieve our child, our plans, our family dynamic, our twins having a sibling and each other’s grief.
When all I possess is grief
God, be then my treasure
Be my vision in the night
Be my hope and refuge
'Til my faith is turned to sight
Lord, my heart will praise You
God has led our family to First Baptist Bowie TX where Ethan will serve as Sr. Pastor. We’re excited to see what God does but will miss our Wichita family who have walked so graciously with us through the last years. We’re moving 5/25. We appreciate your prayers in our transition
7 months today 🧵. The geese have started flying over the house again this week. Oh how Lottie loved the geese. Each season, event, place we go without her is so disorienting. I miss her weight on my hip, hauling around a diaper bag, life ruled by nap time.
So the geese, the sunflowers, the pumpkin patch, Halloween costumes, the holiday travels, Christmas decorations and hopefully memories of others will bring tears over the coming months but I’ll gladly bear that to treasure the gift of joy she brought. She’s not a bad memory.
🧵 it’s
#rainbowbabyday
& I’ve got some mixed feelings. 1st praise God for giving us Lottie. I’m so thankful to have known her, held her & loved her in the womb & in my arms. I’m thankful I got with her, our 4th, what I missed getting with our 3rd.
But my rainbow baby died.
Wise words from Lottie’s beloved grandpa
“For me, the loss is like a new scar on my hand—always with me, unable to feel former sensations—a memento of the strikes of a malicious world I’ll carry for all my years.
And then I will not, as she does not.”
What a great Easter, hard but joyful for our family. Thankful to witness the baptism of 13 adults and celebrate our Cora’s decision to put her faith in Christ.
@ibcwichita
If you’d pray for our dog Lucy she had a big scare today needing a blood transfusion during her spaying surgery. She’s being kept at the vet over night, needless to say we’re anxious for her to recover well tonight and come home to us tomorrow.
She adored her daddy and I’d have to be ready for her to try to jump out of my arms to him when he came into view. I’m thankful I got a picture of the look she always gave him when he’d walk in. We look forward to seeing that face again.
Happy 3rd birthday in heaven sweet Lottie. Your sisters, daddy and I miss you and can’t wait to see you again but we know you’re happy and perfectly cared for in heaven. We looked at pictures, laughed, cried, ate confetti pancakes at your 1st birthday spot.
We got a little tree to put ornaments that remind us of Lottie on and invited friends to pick out or make things for it. It’s been such a bright spot in a hard month to have little surprises arriving every couple days and seeing what people picked out in her memory.
What a beautiful day celebrating our Adelaide’s obedience in baptism. We feared her interest in salvation was a reaction to her twin’s decision. We prodded and questioned for awhile until she prayed out of the blue one day. She’s continuing to grow and we’re so proud of her.
9 months 🧵Fall is full of sweet Lottie memories & a lot of family time she’s absent from this year. So much familiar but all different & so it will continue to be. It’s never going to be quiet right even as we get used to it none of us are past it. C.S. Lewis illustrated it well
When our precious Lottie ran ahead to Jesus there was no question where to establish her memorial fund. Through the
@IMB_SBC
her legacy is part of The Great Pursuit of The Great Commission. Rejoicing in being part of the commissioning of 83 missionaries today at
#SBC24
@jaredcwilson
Have you heard the new be thou my vision? It’s literally impossible to sing without tripping in all the word changes and has a terrible bridge explaining the lyrics as if the sight metaphor might be just to confusing 🥴
We’ve been so encouraged by all the gifts to Lottie’s memorial fund. I’ve already seen her life provide us opportunities the share the gospel and know that will be multiplied through this fund.
Lottie Sandusky charmed everyone she encountered in her 13 joy-filled months of life. Now she is having an impact that will be felt into eternity.
@IMB_SBC
@DrPaulChitwood
10 months missing dear Lottie. As we see Christmas and her second birthday on the horizon we long for her constantly. My what a fun Christmas it would be for us with her but we know she’s spending these days in perfect joy and has made peace with Santa ☺️
Rejoicing in the end of Roe and thrilled our church VBS offering raised over $1200 this week to help support mothers and babies through our local crisis pregnancy center! Ready for the work ahead!
We’re thankful for every day we were entrusted with her and enjoy looking at and talking about the good gift she was. So many have reached out and prayed for us and been impacted by just her picture and our love for her, so here’s our story of our good gift Lottie..
This weekend we celebrate our precious gift Lottie as she turns 3 in heaven Sunday. I know many of you have already participated in the Lottie Moon offering through your churches but if you’d like to join us in celebrating her life by contributing to her fund we’d be honored.
Happy 5 months Eleanor! She’s 14lbs & cut 2 teeth at the beginning of the month & knows how to use them! She’s rolling both ways & starting to travel a bit that way. She enjoys flapping her arms like a bird & squealing so loudly especially when everything gets quiet at church 😂
We’ve strengthened many of the muscles needed for the years to come and while it might not be easier, we’re gained endurance for the course marked out before us. God has walked with us, I have no doubt he’ll continue to.
None of those things are over when we wake up tomorrow. We have a long journey to go and I’ve had a lot of people caution me that year 2 often feels worse. In a lot of ways it feels like checking your progress 5 min into a run,
What a blessing to be a girl mom on daughters day! What beautiful girls God gave me and sweet friendship between them. One of my favorite memories will always be the twins greeting Lottie after being separated for a week during camp. There next reunion will be even sweeter.
“Yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me. I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:32b-33
Happy 6 months Eleanor! She’s discovered her toes and occasionally catches them. She enjoys flapping her arms and lifting her legs and banging them down when she’s excited. Shes tried a few foods and likes pumpkin best so far.
Everything resolves on Sunday. We rejoice, yet so much is both all ready and not yet resolved. “He who testifies to these things says, ‘Surely I am coming soon.’ Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!” Revelation 22:20
We found a place to live! Well at least some ground to live on. We officially own 2 acres of Texas today and hopefully will be able to start building sometime in the next year
One of the few balms in those memories is remembering my primary thought as i labored, sure she was already gone, was that even now I could serve her and show love…even through even this.
Honored to link arms with other bereaved parents from afar through
#waveoflight2023
tonight & thankful for so many who continue to honor & love Micah and Lottie with us.
James 1:17
#pregnancyandinfantlossawareness
Happy Easter, so thankful for all this day means. Because His grave is empty we know one day ours will be too! I genuinely don’t think I, our marriage, our family would be here outside of that hope.
A year ago I’d spent almost 2 years already constantly caring for her in the womb and after her arrival and that desire doesn’t end. Oh how deeply I know she’s perfectly cared for with Jesus…but that doesn’t make what remains worthless.
Thankful doesn’t do it justice. My Granny Franny often presumed she wouldn’t live to see great grands or to attend my wedding but she promised me her ring to use. She did attend my wedding, I wore her ring and this week she met my 3rd, her 9th great grandchild.