Hi friends!
I chose to delete my post about passing my dissertation defense & finishing my PhD.
Creepy stuff started happening.
So, instead, I give you this photo of the celebratory mug my husband gave me.
Thank you to all of you who shared in my joy!
My son did not want to wake up this morning.
Me: Did you stay up past your bedtime?
Son: Yes.
Me: Why?
Son: Harry just told Dumbledore that his scar was hurting & I had to find out why.
Me: Valid response. Carry on.
#WritingCommunity
#amwriting
#amreading
#momlife
I just had my first legitimate out of touch with my Gen Z writing students moment.
Me: When you finish your manuscript you can submit it in a Word doc.
Student: What’s Word?
I HAVE BEEN OFFERED A CONTRACT ON ONE OF MY BOOKS!
I'm freaking out. And over-thinking. And second-guessing.
I want to make a good decision but I have no idea what to do.
#amwriting
#writerslife
#ontheporch
#amquerying
Publisher: We need the top five quotes from your book.
Me: And you want me to come up with them?
Publisher: Yes.
Me: Sorry, I got nothing.
Publisher: But you wrote the book.
Me: Yes, but I didn’t know there was going to be a test.
#writingcommunity
#amwriting
My 20 yr old daughter went on a lunch date today.
She accidentally hit the SOS button on her phone which sent us an emergency alert with no explanation.
My husband was at that restaurant in 7 minutes.
This poor guy wasn’t expecting to meet her dad that way. 🤣
#momlife
Me: I have no idea what happens next in my book.
16yo: Make something explode.
12yo: There should be a dinosaur that eats people.
Me: I’m writing a romance book.
16yo: Explosions & dinosaurs can be romantic.
#amwriting
#writerslife
#NaNoWriMo
Twitter: Hey, I see you’re reading an awesome tweet.
Me: Yes.
Twitter: Cool. Let me just refresh your feed so you can never find it again.
Me: What? No, wait-
Twitter: There you go. All fixed. Here’s an ad instead.
#writingcommunity
#writerslife
#TweetAbyss
As an overly optimistic author, I carry a Sharpie in my purse just in case someone asks me to sign one of my books.
Last night...IT HAPPENED!!
A lady brought one of my books to church & asked if I would sign it. I whipped that Sharpie out like a lightsaber.
#writingcommunity
My mom just showed up at my house with 10 copies of my book, a Sharpie & a list of her friends’ names.
This is some Steel Magnolias level stuff.
#mom
#writingcommunity
#writerslife
A friend introducing me today.
Friend: This is Michelle. She's a world-famous author.
Me: No, I'm not.
F: Do you have a Facebook Author Page?
Me: Yes.
F: Is Facebook world-wide?
Me: Yes.
F: As I said, world-famous author.
Ah, the magic of Friend-Logic
#writingcommunity
YOU GUYS!!!
I'm thrilled to announce that my women's fiction novel, Light on Glass, has been signed by
@FillesVertesPub
& will be released to the world in December!
Can I cry & happy dance at the same time?
#writingcommunity
#amwriting
#wfwa
Writer dream achieved:
A reader just emailed me & said my book changed her life.
I’m not crying. You’re-
Nope.
It’s definitely me.
I’m crying.
#writingcommunity
#writerslife
#author
How to support your author friends for free:
-review their book
-ask your library to carry their book
-post about their book on social media
-tell your friends about their book
-send them an encouraging message
-seriously...review the book
#writingcommunity
#amwriting
Person: Wow, you’re a writer! That must be cool.
Me: I just spent an hour debating between the words but & yet.
Person: What did you decide?
Me: I deleted the whole sentence.
#writingcommunity
#amwriting
Publisher: Here's your ARC.
Me: Yay!
Publisher: Now go give it to people & ask them to read it.
Me: Wait, what? Ask people to read my book?
Publisher: Yes.
Me: Real people?
Publisher: Yes.
Me: I did not think this whole author thing through.
#writingcommunity
#writerslife
I saw an ugly thing & I’m going to dump a giant, glittery bucket of positivity on it.
Writers...your work matters.
So promote your freaking books right here! Drop a link in the comments & be proud of what you’ve created. I’m cheering for you!
#writingcommunity
#Hucksters4Life
In this inspirational story about love, faith, and second chances, sparks fly as a movie star and a pastor’s daughter work side by side.
Michelle Keener loves to hear from readers and you can usually find her on Twitter @ MKeenerWrites or at her website .
2020 hit me hard today. The publisher for Light on Glass folded. I got my rights & book files back, but it hurt.
It was my 4th published book, but the one closest to my heart. To see it erased (even for a moment) is like losing a part of my soul.
#writingcommunity
#amwriting
Me: How's your story coming?
13yo son: I'm not sure.
Me: Aren't you the one writing it?
13yo: I don't think a writer can critique their own work. I either hate it or think it's perfect & sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.
Me (a writer): *runs away*
#writingcommunity
Me: *staring at my computer*
Husband: Can I get you anything?
Me: 5k words & a compelling sub-plot.
Husband:
Me:
Husband: So...chocolate?
Me: Yes, chocolate!
#amwriting
#writingcommunity
#NaNoWriMo
Other writers/authors are not your competition.
That stupid blank page is your competition. Smash it with words. Don't smash other artists.
That is all.
#amwriting
#writerslife
#ontheporch
My Publisher: Can you send us a synopsis?
Me: Here's a book.
Publisher: That's great. How about a synopsis?
Me: Ta-da...it's a book!
Publisher: Thanks, but we need a synopsis.
Me: How about another book instead?
#writingcommunity
#amwriting
#IHateTheSynopsis
My son reading me a math problem:
An author is paid $7000 to write a book. She also earns 10% royalty on the cover price of every book sold. If she sells 10,000 copies, how much money will she make?
Mom?
Mom?
Why are you laughing?
#writingcommunity
#homeschool
#amwriting
My 12yo son: What if instead of a man getting bitten by a radioactive spider, a spider got bitten by a radioactive man?
Me: Um-
12yo: *singing* Man-Spider, Man-Spider. Does whatever a man can do. Pays his taxes, gets a job. Lookout, here comes the Man-Spider.
#boymom
#momlife
My daughter was complaining about the lack of pockets on her clothes.
Husband: (pointing at her pants) You have pockets right there.
Daughter: They’re fake. (She demonstrates their fakeness)
Son: That’s not fair! Girls need pockets for their knives & stuff.
#boymom
#momlife
During this lockdown, writing has been a struggle for me. I've spent more time staring at a blank page than actually writing.
Today, for the 1st time in 30 days, I wrote 500 words in a new book.
I get a cookie now, right?
#writingcommunity
#amwriting
#wip
#writersblock
My FitBit needs a "Writer" setting.
Yes, I know I haven't moved in an hour, but I've written 1200 words. That should count for something you step obsessed monster.
#amwriting
#writerslife
#writingcommunity
Quick word of NaNo encouragement. Last year I struggled. I fell behind, caught up & fell behind again. But I finished.
Yesterday I got to share the news that my novel is going to be published.
Keep going.
Keep writing.
Your story matters.
#NaNoWriMo
#amwriting
#writerslife
My 11yo just got caught reading a book after bedtime because he had his bedroom light on.
My 15yo’s response: “Amateur, that’s not how you get away with midnight reading.”
I’m secretly proud of both of them.
#parentingwin
#momlife
#amreading
I gave my daughter my manuscript to read. She read it, loved it and asked for the sequel.
Me: It's not done yet.
Her: Then why are you just sitting there? Go write it!
I am now living with a disgruntled reader.
#amwriting
#writerslife
#ontheporch
When you have a cupboard full of coffee mugs but you keep washing & using the same one over & over because it’s your favorite.
Or is that just me?
#coffee
#writingcommunity
How to call an introvert
The day before: Text that you will call tomorrow & explain why (so we have time to prepare).
3 hrs prior: Text a reminder.
2 hrs prior: Text a funny gif.
1 hr prior: Text an emoji.
Make the call.
Leave a voicemail.
#introvert
#introvertlife
Ends a phone call: That went well.
10 mins later: I shouldn’t have said that one thing.
30 mins later: They must think I’m so dumb.
1 hr later: I RUINED EVERYTHING!
And that is why I text.
#anxiety
#introvert
#writingcommunity
How To Be A Writer:
Step 1: Write
Step 2: Congratulations! You're a writer!!
Step 3 (optional): Buy excessive amounts of your favorite beverage, snacks, and notebooks. You won't use the notebooks, but you'll want them.
#writingcommunity
#amwriting
#writerslife
Dear Writers,
Your words matter.
A rejection from an agent or publisher or a 1-star review doesn’t change that.
Be bold, be daring, be courageous.
Be unstoppable in the face of rejection.
The world needs your words.
Love,
Me
#amwriting
#writerslife
Schrödinger’s Query.
When you’re waiting for a response to a query & in your mind you are both a bestselling author & a hopeless hack at the same time.
#amwriting
#amquerying
#writerslife
My day so far:
A friend loses her teaching position because of recent SBC decisions & is asked to publicly support her own silencing.
A video of a pastor saying he restricts what his wife can read so she can’t have an informed idea before him.
I don’t even know where to start.
Watching an ‘80’s film with my 16yo daughter & I had to explain the significance of taking a phone off the hook.
Me: The caller gets a busy signal & the phone won’t ring.
Her: What about the phone in the other room?
Me: None of them will ring.
Her: Weird.
#movienight
#momlife
Is writing is contagious?
My 12yo son is working on his 1st book...a fantasy about a dragon school. He's 4,000 words in.
I'm not allowed to read it yet, but I've been able to help name three dragons.
#homeschoolmom
#boymom
#writingcommunity
#homeschool
My 12yo writing his 1st book:
"Mom! Look!"
(Pointing to his word count) "I'm at 5,000 words! It's such a glorious sight. I'm going to bask in the accomplishment."
Clearly, that is what my writing process has been missing...the basking.
#amwriting
#homeschool
#WritingCommunity
My daughter starts college today.
My son is turning 13 (& he's taller than me).
I'm not sure if this is a mid-life crisis, but it's definitely a cookie emergency.
Feel free to send heart-warming gifs that I can stare at while I eat my weight in Oreos.
#momlife
#parenting
Time to celebrate! 🎉
I promised a giveaway when I hit 10k & you voted for a manuscript critique.
Here ya go! Follow, like & comment to enter to win a FREE full manuscript critique.
Random winner chosen on 2/16 (after I’ve had coffee)
#writingcommunity
#amwriting
#writerslife
13yo: The next book in this series doesn’t come out for a year!
My husband: Writing takes time.
13yo: I know. Mom writes a book. Then she ignores it, then she edits it & THEN sends it to the publisher.
Husband: You forgot the month she spends hating the book.
#amwriting
Started a new book today.
And by started I mean I opened a new Word document, stared at it for a while, got a snack, stared some more, then called it a day.
#writingcommunity
#amwriting
#authorlife
My dad called to tell me he met a woman at church & as they were talking he mentioned that I'm a writer.
Her: Wait, is your daughter the Michelle Keener who wrote Mission Hollywood?
Him: Yes.
Her: I love that book!
My day is now so much better.
#thanksdad
#writingcommunity
Me at church today:
Person: Hey! I read your book. I loved it!
Me: Thank you.
Person
#2
: Wait, you wrote a book?
Person
#3
: What’s it about?
Person
#2
: Are you a writer?
Me: Look! Coffee! *runs away*
My marketing skills need help.
#writingcommunity
#authorlife
I sent an email to one of my favorite authors requesting an blurb for my next book. I was freaking out, but I hit send.
Then I re-read the email & saw a typo.
I. Sent. A. Typo. To. My. Favorite. Author.
*goes into hiding never to return*
#writingcommunity
#authorlife
I gave my combat veteran, tough as nails, Marine Corps husband my Christian romance manuscript to read.
Him: *sniff*
Me: Are you crying?
Him: No.
Me: Are you sure?
Him: No.
#Victory
#writingcommunity
#amwriting
Introverted Me: Stay inside for 2 week? No problem. I love quiet & solitude
Extroverted Husband: Hey! Hey! Talk to me. Watch this video. What are you doing? Can I do it too? Where are you going? I’m here! Let’s do stuff!
#marriedlife
#introvertproblems
#introvert
Pssst...I was just accepted into a PhD program.
I'm not sure if I'm going to do it yet, but it's nice to get some good news in 2020.
#goodnews
#TakeThat2020
Time to celebrate my Twitter family!
Who wants a
#positivitypass
of your 1st chapter? I'll tell you everything I love about it. Not a critique, just a big dose of encouragement.
Follow & comment & I'll pick a random winner tomorrow.
#WritingCommunity
#amwriting
Me: Look how much progress I’m making! *type type type*
Computer: I NEED AN UPDATE!
Me: Can we do this tomorrow? I’m right in the middle of a scene.
Computer: IF YOU DON’T UPDATE ME RIGHT NOW I WILL DIE & TAKE YOU WITH ME!
#amwriting
#writingcommunity
#writerproblems
The Rejection That Changed My Life. A thread.
About 2 years ago I queried a Christian agent. The agent's reply:
"Great concept, great writing, but you have no platform. Please resubmit when you have 10k followers." 1/
#writingcommunity
#writerslife
#amquerying
Me: (hits send on query letter)
Auto-reply email: Thank you for your submission We will reply in 4-6 weeks if we are interested.
Me: Cool. 4-6 weeks. Got it.
Also me: (30 seconds later) Refresh email. Refresh email. Refresh email.
#amquerying
#writerslife
#amwriting
Took my son to the library to get him a book.
Me: I can’t get any books. I have to finish revisions & I have 14 books on my Kindle I haven’t read.
Library:
Me: Stop it. I have to revise.
Library:
Me: No. I can’t.
Library:
Me: Fine! I’ll take five.
#amreading
#writerslife
I figured it out!!!!
I was stuck on a scene in my
#NaNoWriMo
project & I just figured out how to fix it. It’s perfect!!
And I am currently 10 miles away from my computer. ☹️
#amwriting
#writerslife
Feb. 1: I'm going to start a blog by the end of the month.
Feb. 5: Easy-peasy.
Feb. 12: (staring at blank screen)
Feb. 18: (Banging head on desk)
Feb. 27: Can't I just write another book instead?
Feb. 28: (10:50pm) Panic publish.
Feb. 28: (10:51pm) Nailed it.
#amwriting
It's my birthday!
Today I shall eat cake and ignore my to-do list.
Which honestly sounds like every other day of my life, but today no one can judge me for it.
I’m querying two novels. One has been getting interest. The other, a ton of rejections. I was ready to shelve it.
Then today I got an interesting email. Can’t say anything else because I’m a skeptic who always expects the worst. But still...dare I hope?
#amwriting
#amquerying
Me: *writes two books in a trilogy*
My Publisher: Great! Now we need a name for the series to tie them all together. What do you think?
Me: Uhhh...The “I Wrote A Series” series?
Publisher:
Me:
Publisher: Are you ok?
Me: Definitely not.
#writingcommunity
#amwriting
Me: I'm making pasta.
Teen Daughter: But it's Taco Tuesday.
Me: We can have tacos on Thursday.
TD: It's not Taco Thursday. It's Taco Tuesday. You can't just change it because you have leftover garlic bread.
Me: What was I thinking?
TD: I hope you're thinking tacos.
#momlife
Hey! You!
The one hunched over your laptop, staring at the words you just wrote, wondering if they’re good enough.
They’re written.
And they’re yours.
That is something to celebrate!
Your words matter.
Now go write some more.
#WritingCommunity
#amwriting
My writing process
Planning: This is the best idea!
Drafting: I love this story!
Revising: What was I thinking?
Editing: Do I have to read it again?
More editing: I hate everything.
Copy edits: I never want to see this book again.
Publishing: I love it so much!
#amwriting
I may not share your religion but I can sit with you in your pain.
I can give you my shoulder to cry on, my ear to listen, my hand to hold.
You have the right to worship without fear. We may not agree on everything but I will defend that right with every breath I have.
Me: Ok, I've made a decision.
Also Me: But wait...what if you're wrong?
Me: Am I?
Also Me: I don't know.
Me: What should I do?
Also Me: Don't ask me. I'm terrible at making decisions.
#anxiety
#overthinking
#writingcommunity
Attn
#amwriting
friends...I need help!
Do you have an author website? If you’re willing, would you share it in the comments? I suck at web design & I’m in desperate need guidance of & inspiration.
Thank you!!
#writerslife
#ontheporch
#turtlewriters
The current discussion about women pastors is not about the authority of Scripture.
That’s a false argument.
It’s about the authority of an interpretation of Scripture.
I just finished a Facebook live launch event for my new book.
My mom tuned in & asked about my dog.
Not my book. Not my writing. Not my career.
My dog.
Really, Mom?
I'd be mad but I know she pre-ordered 10 copies.
#writingcommunity
#authorlife
#MissionHollywood
Quick 🧵 on the whole PTSD isn’t real thing. (I’m not giving the clip any more visibility)
Here’s one of the many problems with the ideology behind that goofiness…
it intentionally shifts the blame & the burden to the trauma survivor.
1/
Friendly Human: How’s your writing going?
Me: Good. Thanks.
FH: So what’s this book about?
My brain: (Don’t say anything. She’ll think it’s stupid. She’ll think you’re stupid. Now she’s staring at you. You’re taking too long. Ahhhhh!)
Me: You look pretty today.
#writerslife
The church I serve at has a teaching team. The lead pastor intentionally takes off one weekend a month & asks someone else to preach.
He sits in the front row, listens, takes notes & is their loudest supporter.
He is a pastor who recognizes & encourages God’s gifts in others.
Got a potentially great email this morning.
But I'm afraid to get my hopes up. I'm expecting catastrophe and disappointment.
Send prayers, happy thoughts & cute gifs asap!
#amwriting
#writerslife
12yo son: I can’t wait to get my own dog. What would be a good name for a Great Dane?
Me: (a little too quickly) Hamlet.
12yo: ...
Me: In about 5 years you’ll think that’s hilarious.
#momlife
#boymom
#homeschoolmom
#writerslife
Today's
#homeschool
adventure:
12yo son: The answer is 4.
Me: Yes, but you have to write out the equation & solve it.
12yo: I did solve it. It's 4.
Me: But you have to show the steps.
12yo: Why?
Me: To prove you know how to do it.
12yo: The right answer isn't proof enough?