Casey Rocket @MCdooglebear Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Casey Rocket

@MCdooglebear

2,114

Followers

664

Following

323

Media

2,017

Statuses

If the moon had nipples would we milk it? 😏🎺 Boise-based comic and fuckin honky tonk noise polluter

Statesboro

Joined April 2014

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

A show that’s been centuries in the making... The Grimace Half Hour Power Hour is LIVE this Saturday 🎺 8/31 @ 10:30pm Featuring @kathylasagna @Guywiththestuff LJ Sullivan, @CodonColganite & MORE Tickets are only $5 for a night of terrifying riffs 🔮

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

@NightOpening Holy hell why was this thing so sexually charged

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

6 years

@BarstoolBoro *Aspen is taking syllabus week to new Heights IS NO WORDPLAY SACRED??

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

8 years

As ignorant as it sounds I didn't even know Mexico had a president. Kinda figured it was a free-for-all over there

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

10 years

Remember George Washington? Well this is him now. Feel old yet? http://t.co/cZbOnRxza6

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

7 years

Either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself graduate with a degree from North Georgia in Cumming

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

The US military sent 354,000 mentally unfit troops into Vietnam that had previously been rejected for service & you expect me to not use my credit card when I buy groceries because I feel like it’s “free groceries”? I’m sorry hoss I don’t see the connection either but ur canceled

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

8 years

I got 3 words for you Christmas: Denim on Denim

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

When the robotussin kicks in and the store manager asks if you’re finding everything okay

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

7 years

Beef boy inception ⚛

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

*me returning home to the boys after leaving the bar with a particularly hot piece of work* Jon (my best friend): Well.. tell us everything.. Me (wearing my entire clothes inside out): Well.. one scat thing led to another..😏 Jon: Holy shit.. you bagged Scatman? Me: 🚬😏

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

Had a guy do a 9 minute set before my spot at the open mic about how he lost his leg in an accident and it’s been really hard on his family. Before tonight, I never knew that’s what I wanted before every single one of my sets. The beeps were a godsent release

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

One time I was tripping face on mushrooms in Manny’s bathroom and I peed all over the floor on accident cuz I didn’t know how dicks worked and someone saw it and started yelling at this kid accusing him and the noise was so loud and scary it made me yell and blame the kid too

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

Georgia State fans right now @OnlyAtSouthern http://t.co/D473RmBnkK

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

7 years

8 years ago I finally said I’d had enough of the bachelor lifestyle, I was sick of conquering a new woman every night & ending up with a cold pillow beside mine. I’ve never been prouder to look at my wife & son today & say “Happy holidays to the ones that really matter” ❤️

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

I was having a bit of a smoke outside & I remembered airdrop was a thing so I sent this to a random person who happened to be arguing with his girlfriend & he just drops the fight, if only for a moment, & said “WHO SENT ME THE THUMB?? WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS SENT ME THIS THUMB!”

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

Doctors say my skin is getting longer and my bones are getting shorter. Scientists HATE this guy.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

Just fist fought a Korean at bonaroo

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

10 years

When you high as hell in the club and you see your bro dancing with a fat chick http://t.co/FADrJjwadu

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

Has anybody else seen these fire nudes yet? 😍🙌🔥🔥🔥🙊 http://t.co/kMDAEJ1yoC

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

I bet the Jenner siblings are pumped they don't have to worry about Father's Day gifts this year

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

7 years

#beefboyinParis

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

This is the exact thing I will be doing from dusk till dawn when I get back on the bottle. Just straight snozzling up rye whisky and teaching pigs to walk like a motherfucker.

@UberFacts

UberFacts

5 years

Watch as this guy teaches his pig to walk again 🙏❤️

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

7 years

My grandma is wild 🙈

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

Do any of y’all ever just fuck around and eat pray love

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

6 years

Obviously I went to college with a bunch of good ole boys and one time this dude buying weed from my friend overheard me saying 9/11 was an inside job (laugh it up) so he pulls me aside & says “Hey bro. You ever say some shit like that in public again and I’ll beat you senseless”

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

Some guy recognized me in a bar last night and came up to me and said “Hey man, I really appreciated that butt potty stuff you said the other night” like really sincerely

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

I’m disrupting a billion dollar beep industry with this ONE simple honk

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

If the police ever confiscate my phone they are going to be hella confused http://t.co/fSXEeRHJUx

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

7 years

Got kicked off stage for saying a dirty word tonight. Censorship is fascism.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

@TerrifyingPixs Who exactly is on the case. I like my ghost investigators how I like my dogs: To have a cool name.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

I basically live like a rockstar but I don't plan on ever starting a band. It's pretty rad

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

I get it, I’m off the sauce. If Facebook and Twitter keep sending me sponsored recovery content I’m gunna jump off the fucking wagon to get away from these nerds. Ain’t nobody want to hear how good of a father you are since you stopped doing air duster

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

7 years

I don't "do" spring break trips because I don't "have" multiple friendships

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

7 years

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

10 years

Total fucking legend. Love you bro http://t.co/2ITwWny0CO

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

If you ever touch me that way again @avrillavigne i'll be the one sayin "see ya later boi" because I am NOT that type of skater boy. got it?

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

10 years

Pray for this man. @aaronboydo http://t.co/3IoYbytVDO

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

I'm on so much acid rn that I just managed to herd a group of stray cats.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

8 years

In high school I used to sit in my car and wait for the bass drop so when I pulled out of the parking lot people KNEW I smoked dro

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

Hey I'm Guy Fieri and welcome to jackass.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

6 years

Manswers

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

I just realized that I literally pay $15 a month for HBO on the off chance that I rewatch True Detective season one again It’s basically just me subscribing to the religion of Rust Cohle’s ramblings for $180 a year

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

Just for a gauge on how blisteringly white my girlfriend is: I just walked in on her sitting with a whole bowl of milk filled to the brim (at first glance I thought she was eating spoon milk) only to learn she puts her Frosted Mini Wheats in 2 at a time so the icing doesn’t melt

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

10 years

Why do I make pterodactyl noises when I'm drunk in public? Because this is America, that's why.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

I won the comic of the month contest with 45 minutes of riffs on Fart Boxing The Poop Cupboard. Unreal. Haunting really.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

Tomorrow I will be 21 so I swear if the apocalypse happens today I'm gunna be pisssssed fam.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

7 years

Due to the overwhelming DMs, I'd like to clear the air and say that using the scientific method the Eiffel Tower is only 3 1/2 Casey's tall

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

7 years

Ladies, DM me for my phone number.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

7 years

How's everything at home?

@cadewtf

interwebcade+

7 years

friends r brushing their teeth and i smell looks vodka sprite

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

8 years

If anybody wants to fight I'll be at Stars and Strikes tonight wearing my jean jacket. Your move.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

Has science gone too far?

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

I’ve never used the site, but my random Wish suggestions are off the fucking rails. I have a lot of choices to make drug-wise

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

My grandma insists that I keep wearing American Eagle V-necks

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

7 years

I wonder how that cat from Troncolli Chrysler Jeep Dodge and Ram is doing.. That was a good boy

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

Manny is back in the Boro and Tav is giving out free hot dogs all night. Hide yo wives.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

I'm almost %100 sure I have a concussion but I'm just going to pull a Thad Castle and power through it so coach will let me play Saturday

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

The end of an era. King Kong ain't got shit on me. http://t.co/o8p4qZl8gJ

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

10 years

Do you ever just look up at the moon sometimes and wonder if Iggy Azalea is looking up at that same moon? 🚶

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

6 years

“You’re going to sit there and tell me those Zebra Cakes weren’t for having sex with?” - Casey Boy Rohlen (the year of our lord Michael Vick, 2004)

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

After millions of years of evolution, in the year 2015 one of our most popular songs talks about eating someone's asshole like its groceries

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

10 years

@aaronboydo @miiiiicaaaaahhh @codyprice51 pretty sure u all still live at home with your parents so laugh it up D-bags. I take awesome pics

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

When you accidentally walk in on your parents having sex http://t.co/O7XFYLyJAe

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

8 years

I think I'm going to drop out of college and just go searching for sea monsters because that's the only real passion I have

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

8 years

Totally forgot to wear a sign on my 21st birthday. It's all good though I still ended up looking like an idiot

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

6 years

Keep your chin up, at least you’re not going to wake up one day and realize that you’ve spent the past five years at UNG Dahlonega “saving money”.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

6 years

I want to go into one of those escape rooms, barricade all the fake treasure chests and shit against the door, light up a Marlboro Red, and turn the tides in the favor of mayhem. Now THEY can’t escape me choosing to not escape the escape room.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

Kat was cooking eggs and I heard her yell “Fruit Rollups for breakfast!” which is normally great news around our house but then she fucking GUNNED a Fruit Rollup when I was at a disadvantage and rocked me right in the temple. Absolute flamethrower of an arm.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

6 years

If you ask me, dogs and horses should consider being friends.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

Camel: Hey guess whatt day it iss Me: *sigh* Okay Greg what day is it? Camel: The two year anniversary since Debra left me (Starts crying)

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

7 years

Never thought we'd see the day @miiiiicaaaaahhh

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

10 years

Dear Red Wine hangover, I can't even. Love, Casey

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

8 years

I'm going to name my firstborn son Tihm so he is edgy and street-smart, but still a carpenter by trade.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

8 years

Honestly if someone had the courtesy to come up and ask me to be in the Gulo Gang in high school I wouldn't have been so rebellious

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

10 years

Nothing like a good ol chicken nugget sandwich to remind you that you really don't have your life together

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

My dad is 45, pursuing a modeling career, and I’ve never seen him happier. He told me he’s just waiting for a chance to blow up. So, Twitter, meet my dad. Do your thing.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

8 years

Junior year of highschool Jamie Coppola said "bite me " to Mr. Rocklien and to date that was the most savage thing I've ever seen

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

My wife filed divorce papers after I narrated the birth of our first born in Christopher Walken's voice

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

8 years

Study drunk, take the test drunk, get drunk grades. Guys there's no reason I shouldn't be in the NBA right now.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

8 years

It's days like this that make you wonder what the hell happened to Joe Matia. Where you at bud?

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

10 years

Uhh yeah I listen to Slipknot...Did you not see me long boarding on campus nerd?

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

When you catch your man staring at another girls booty across the room http://t.co/YhsJsAv2zY

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

8 years

Who's the bigger madman? RT for Tommy Brewer, fav for Fegan Floop.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

Just over 2 weeks until #ComedyFort 🎺

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

10 years

You're driving, I'm blackout

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

*cracks open a Bud Ice* Let me tell you about the time we started a war on terror son.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

8 years

Wherever you are wallet I won't be mad, just come home.

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

Just had a crowd straight up not cheer after I sung Highwayman, in full, to the best of my god-fearing abilities. Sometimes you just sit there and wish McCarthyism never died

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

Look professor I'm just here to smoke fire weed and eat bagel bites and last time I checked you said we can't eat in class so get a move on

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

10 years

Wes your back buddy

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

A lil Hillary Duff Huffff. A teeny tiny Hillary Hufffff. #ComedyFort 🎺Thursday 8pm 🎺Sunday 8pm 🦂Liquid Laughs

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

Just straight up dropped a full Newport in a full grown puddle, picked it up, that skank is STILL hitting. What are they feeding these things??

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

5 years

Me: I think my biggest weakness is that I can’t physically fit enough Alpha Brain in my stomach to make me impervious to toxins. Army Recruiter: How did you get this number?

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

6 years

*shows up on parent’s doorstep with a shouldered knapsack thrown over a walking stick and a Kroger bag full of WiFi routers, facial hair in tatters and eyes bloodshot from the days-long journey*

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

This deserves endless retweets 🙌🙌🙌 http://t.co/hyZ0LYaGvV

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

I came home to find all 10 of my hotdogs are gone. Did my roommate throw a hot dog eating party while I was gone? Why has god forsaken me?

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

10 years

Happy birthday B may the odds be forever in your favor http://t.co/tFANwccozo

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

10 years

Hey @MannyDouglas @R_Brown18 how's that foursome http://t.co/N94WPOtlsn

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@MCdooglebear

Casey Rocket

9 years

Gavin is openly listening to Evanescence in his room right now

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