My partner: "So how's the... -fandom-?" pronouncing it like he's learning another language.
Me: "Good! Great."
Partner: "Good, good. And are there... others who write, or is it just you?"
Me, staring into space a minute: "......there are others. Yes."
Partner: "Fascinating."
I know this isn’t groundbreaking writing, but it was done really, really well:
The chess game.
To start, we have Claudia and Lestat, at odds, sitting down to a game. The audience is ready for parallels, and the scene doesn’t disappoint.
IWTV spoilers,
#IWTVspoilers
I love that everyone's talking truth serum Izzy, and please keep going, but what if all this will they/won't they, dancing around each other for decades culminates with Ed like "so you do love me, though, right?" and Izzy, stony faced, just "I used to."
Here me out: what if we had a "make it worse" week?
Ed deciding Stede is also like a father figure to him. Lucius losing the shark. Frenchie wanting their operations to go legit. Giving Ricky a girlfriend.
Really lean into it.
#ofmds2spoilers
Partner: "So did they like the chapter?"
Me: "Oh, it's not up yet."
Partner: "I thought you said you sent it."
Me: "Yeah, to - to the editors."
Partner: "...I can't tell if you're messing with me."
"We wrote our names on each other in permanent ink."
The absolute nothingness of this line aside, are we implying the existence of temporary ink? The erasable pen? Ye Olde CTRL-Z?
"Can we take it slow" followed by a moonlit stroll back to the captain's cabin where they part at the door.
Feeling like a gentleman or a princess or some shit, Ed beams at Stede, wishes him goodnight, then goes down the hall to Izzy's room where they fuck fast and dirty.
Ed and Izzy on their separate journeys, healing and growing and thriving — both watching the other do the same in their peripherals, getting more and more furious about it.
#ofmds2spoilers
As Izzy prepares for another NYE of watching Ed and Jack make out at midnight while Izzy gets stuck cleaning up the spilled salsa before someone steps in it and drags it through the room, at a minute to midnight, Ed pulls him aside
To the OFMD fandom, and the Izzy Canyon in particular: thank you for being so much fun.
Thank you for sharing your writing, art, and absolutely unhinged takes (/aff). Thank you for being so supportive of my writing.
I wish everyone a delicious S2. See you on the other side.🏴☠️
“You’re telling me,” Ed says eventually, “that you were in love with me this whole time?”
Without standing up, Izzy’s able to grab the bottle of alcohol. He takes a swig directly from the top.
“Why didn’t you say something?”
Izzy almost laughs. “Be serious, Edward,” he says.
Ed, wrecked already, his dress hanging off one shoulder, Izzy slowly running a hand up his inner thigh.
"How long's it been since we did this?"
"Dunno, don't stop."
"Does he know you're here?"
"Fuck, Izzy, please."
"Does he get to see you like this?"
"No, Iz. Only you."
To anyone confused about the
#OurFlagMeansDeath
fandom's generosity: we've been using our unhinged powers for good since before you even created that burner account.
Anyway, donate today.
#ForOurNewUnicorn
#IZZYHANDS
“Is this a date?” Izzy asks once they’re stopped at the top of the ferris wheel. He has to crane his neck to look over the stuffed llama Ed’d won for him earlier.
Ed finally takes the llama and puts her gently on the seat that Ed vacates to sit next to Izzy.
#HappyEdIzzyWeek
Hearing the words aloud is different from a letter in a bottle. Very different.
"Do it, then," the Kraken challenges.
"What?"
He lifts his chin. "Love me."
Stede, bless him, is brave enough to approach. The touch to Ed's cheek is a fatal blow to the Kraken. "Love me too."
"I do."
I suddenly badly need Izzy Hands to just get up there and do some unapologetic karaoke and then return to his seat while everyone's just sitting, stunned, like his usual grumpy ass self, not even entirely sure why they're looking at him like that.
"You can sing??"
"I'm a sailor."
Izzy servicing Ed while also trying to run Ed's business. Three fingers in, Ed's whimpering, Izzy’s taking a call with investors.
"We'll resend the contracts, but Mr Teach doesn't like delays."
"Iz, Izzy, please."
(Whispering) "I got you love." (Louder) "See that it's done by 3."
Izzy getting his makeup done by John, but going back to his room to second guess himself before the party. Ed finds him pacing.
Ed compliments him, Izzy snarls an insult. Ed hesitates.
"You did those bows for me once."
"So?"
"I could do your hair?"
After, Ed declares it pretty.
Okay, how rude was that TV Insider article, though. Spends the entire time going "sorry, guys, Izzy had to die." No, Izzy *did* die. We thought it was done poorly. Why are you using your article to argue with us?
"made Izzy die a hero." Lol what? That didn't happen.
If I had a nickel for every time Ed put on some really sexy make up to wake up Izzy in bed, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but given inflation, that $0.1 in 1717 would be over a billion dollars today which is how much you'd have to pay me to stop talking about Edizzy.
Yeah, Ed's the master of the sexy, messy bun, but one night he's trying to do those complicated braids, but he can't quite manage them for some reason, and Izzy always did them best anyway, and before he knows it, he's down at the beach, scream-crying into the dirt on the grave.
Izzy showing his twin around the ship for the first time.
"And this is the— oh, hey, boss, this is my brother."
"I'm Baz, nice to meet you."
".........."
"What's his deal?"
"Not sure."
"..........two"
"Right, let's show you the galley."
"...............two."
Ed pulling Izzy into his lap just because he'd imagined it so many times, and now he gets to.
Izzy, blushing and absolutely melting under the open adoration.
EdIzzy invented love
...
"Yeah, what the fuck does that mean?"
"Idk it's just something people say about us."
"They /should/ be saying we're the most fearsome pirates they've ever had the misfortune of meeting."
"Yeah, you don't really get to pick your reputation, mate."
IZZY HANDS
Ed's trying to get some work done, pouring over the stolen documents from the last raid. Izzy's perched himself on the desk, shirt unbuttoned just a little at the collar, seeing how Ed likes it when someone does it to him.
In the living room there’s cheering and, fuck, what sounds like dancing.
Ed huffs an awed sort of laugh like he’s truly fucking happy and kisses him again. Izzy kisses back because Izzy really thought he’d be waiting forever, so the salsa can wait another year if it has to.
Ed and Izzy feeding each other grapes or chocolate or whatever fancy shit they got in the last raid. They're doing it in the galley where everyone's trying not to watch, getting weird about it - weepy and intense. Talking about marriage and blood rituals. A typical Edizzy Monday.
Imagine how Con would have shone in a sweet Edizzy scene, though. That hesitant smile, wanting to believe, but still afraid.
"Ed—"
"It's real, Iz. Please."
#HappyEdizzyWeek
#HEIW
I gave my notice at Renew As A Crew.
The RAAC team is so lovely, but I can no longer do so much work for a fandom that regularly tells me to gtfo, and a show that is unable to handle heavy topics.
I hope we get S3, but we can only renew as a crew, and this is a fandom divided.
Anyway if you want the Captain Hands is awesome and Ed & Stede have their inn or whatever story, this is Grace.
Izzy/Ed, Ed/Stede, rated E, it's about belonging to something. (It's technically a sequel, but who cares we're playing pretend tonight.)
#ofmds2spoilers
Ed, who's always fantasized about drowning in a bf's oversized shirt, being struck with fondness when Izzy has to borrow a shirt from Ed one day, and it hangs down past his fingers.
Ed starts touching Izzy under the table at the Gentlebeard rehearsal dinner. They're not like that. They've never even kissed. But Izzy’s spreading his legs, feeling his world tip upside-down, and when Ed goes to the washroom, gauzy skirt swishing behind him, Izzy follows.
Well, that's that, then.
To
@RenewAsACrew
, you deserve all the praise in the world. You worked so incredibly hard. I'm sad about the show, but I'm sadder for the fandom. Thank you for all your incredible work. 🏴☠️❤️
#OurFlagMeansDeath
#OFMD
#RenewAsACrew
@DisasterShipB
Like, plot-wise it also seemed unnecessary. Like – why? It didn't change Ed or the crew. Did Captain Hands not make a lot more sense in that last scene?
#ofmds2spoilers
And yet. The game is a tangible representation of the conflict between these two characters, and once Lestat knows she has outsmarted him, Claudia refuses Lestat the dignity of even finishing the game.
It’s another parallel — though to Claudia’s disadvantage this time.
Young Izzy is trying sooo hard to seem tough and aloof, but this beautiful guy who literally just decided they were friends that morning is beckoning him to the dance floor with the most ridiculous dancing ever.
People are staring, Ed is making a complete scene and he doesn't
Edizzy, maybe E/I/S, unhealthy possessive behaviour, probably. That's your warning, enjoy.
“Just go in and see, Jack”
“Fuck off, Eddie, I won’t be able to come back if I get kicked out of here again. Do it yourself.”
Ed’s furious silence is answer enough.
"Iz. Izzy, tell me the truth."
"It's fine."
"Iz don't do this to me. It's terrible isn't it."
"It's fine, Ed. Great."
"If you hate it you just have to—"
"I TOLD you you couldn't go blond—"
Me: I'm going to fight for S3!
Canyon: Cool.
Me: Never mind, Edizzy real.
Canyon: Sweet.
Me: I'm obsessed with IWTV.
Canyon: Love that for you.
Me: Pop-Pop?
Canyon: ...No.
Izzy showing up hours late for Ed& Stede's wedding. Guests are already leaving. Ed still lights up like the sun when he sees him, meets him in the lobby when Izzy can't bring himself to come in. But when Ed asks for a dance right there, the answer's yes.
#OurFlagMeansDeath
#OFMD
HORNIGHOST WAS RIGHT THERE!
AND YOU MADE IZZY THE FATHER FIGURE!???
How many father figures does a man in his late 40s even need..
Is this what happens when someone tries too hard to be mainstream...
And as we know, Lestat has a counter-move. Someone who could protect the king. Someone who even later shows up looking like one of the carved chess pieces.
Edizzy public sex, they're too old to be doing this like they used to in their 20s, but they're both a little drunk, a lot in love, and something about tonight just feels like the old days when they only had eyes for each other. Ed’s making too much noise, and Izzy’s laughing.
Importantly, Lestat keeps mentioning a rook that’s protecting him. Another character who Claudia should be aware of. Because, as he tells her, “I see the trap.”
With Claudia in black, and Lestat playing white, the scene opens hard with Claudia telling Louis how they’re Lestat’s slaves. This show does not shy away from that one.
Coworker: "I was watching Our Flag Means Death. Have you seen it?"
Me: (okay, Lydia, time to be super normal) "Have you signed the petition and rated all the episodes 10/10?"
(IZZY HANDS)
Izzy: I fed your darkness—
Ed: I mean, not really since S1 lol.
Izzy: —so I have to die about it.
Ed: You know this won't result in changed behaviour.
Izzy: Yeah, no. I know.
Ed: But you still gotta...?
Izzy: 'Fraid so. Twat.
#ofmds2spoilers
Actually, Ed did kiss him, once. After the mutiny, in the captain's cabin. He'd followed it with "Always wanted to do that" and a shy smile.
But Izzy knew what the crew were like, what Ed would need to be to command them.
"It can't happen again," Izzy'd choked.
And it doesn't.
The game will later parallel Claudia’s attack on Lestat, of course. How she plots against him. How she tries to throw him off with the Rosemary garden twins, who of course Lestat never sees as a real threat. Because they’re not.
Edizzy getting addicted when they kiss for the first time. They're trying to steal moments all throughout the day. Brushing hands, sharing smiles, nearly shaking in anticipation for the end of the workday when they can find a dark corner somewhere and kiss for hours.
Just a reminder that Ed's Daddy Issues should be treated with care. This is a deep and serious topic.
'Such a Fucking Dick' | rated E | 5K words | Ed/Hornigold, Ed/Izzy, Ed/Jack
Forget everything you know about the Hornigold Era.
"Already ate," Izzy says when he sees the candlelit dinner on deck
"Allergic to these," he says of the flowers.
"Then what do you want?" Ed whines, drooping like the petals will in a few days. Everything fades.
"Dunno," he says. "But whatever it is, haven't wanted it in years."
Izzy'd hid the drag thing from Ed at first. Not ashamed, but it still seemed so fragile that he didn't want the teasing, or worse - the confusion about why Izzy'd even want to.
But Ed did find out, and turns out it's better with him cheering from the front row every night.
Edizzy's first time. Izzy's buzzing out of his skin, unable to believe he finally has Ed in his arms at last.
The sex is terrible. They have trouble looking at each other the next day. This explains all their interactions for the next 20 years.
Edizzy divorce era, sure, but when their song comes on at the bar, their eyes still find each other's for a second before they're both looking furiously away.