Lutheran Satire @LutheranSatire Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

When hymns take their own advice:

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

9 years

Right wing Christianity is more dangerous than Islam. That's why, after college, liberals move to Saudi Arabia instead of the suburbs.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

4 years

"I don't want to push my religion on my child," says father of toddler dressed in attire of Dad's favorite baseball team.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

5 years

That's gnosticism, Patrick.

Dr. Robert Jeffress

@robertjeffress

5 years

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spirit beings having a human experience. Everything we have and experience right now is a result of the unseen but real war going on between the kingdom of God and the kingdom of satan." #FinalConquest

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

“You don’t have to go to church to be a Christian” is a fancy way of saying “I follow Christ except for where He goes."

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

5 years

I MADE THIS PLEASE LIKE AND SHARE TO MAKE ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF:

Tyler the Ex-Evangelical Quits Swimming

Swimming couldn't make Tyler as cool as he wanted. This is clearly swimming's fault and definitely not Tyler's.

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

10 years

Baptists condemn #icewaterchallenge after six children were accidentally baptized.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

4 years

Stolen without shame.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

6 years

I really wanted to have this ready by this morning, but dagnabbit, it's still Saint Patrick's Day. I worked very hard on this so please tell me I am good and also share it a whole bunch so that other people will also validate me.

Saint Patrick: The Musical

Here's the story of Saint Patrick put to music. All of it's true. Even the, uh, well, you'll see.P.S. Go to the Issues, Etc Conference and you'll get 20 Luth...

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

Friendly reminder: If you don’t believe what Jesus says about His divinity, I don’t care what you think He teaches about anything else.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

6 years

Actually "Die Hard" is an Advent movie.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

9 years

Guys, deceptive editing. Deceptive. http://t.co/i9MEKkv3nj

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

To avoid getting down in the dumps today, read something more uplifting than the news. Like the Book of Lamentations, for example.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

11 years

Saying "any Christian who eats bacon can't oppose gay marriage" is a fancy way of saying "I don't understand how to read the Bible."

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

Millennial: Wanna know why we don't go to church? Me: Cuz you're too busy writing 8 million "why millennials don't go to church" articles?

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

6 years

Including, but not limited to, theological subjects:

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

Every Ruth deserves her Boaz. Ladies, don't give up! Keep waiting for your husband to die so you can bug his old cousin into marrying you.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

4 years

After President Trump used one of her church buildings for a photo op, the Episcopal Bishop of Washington has taken steps to preserve the biblical integrity of her parishes by turning them all into mosques.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

Today would be a great day to push this video past 1,000,000 views.

St. Patrick's Bad Analogies

The problem with using analogies to explain the Holy Trinity is that you always end up confessing some ancient heresy.Let the patron saint of the Irish show ...

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

Trump’s discomfort when Evangelicals pray over him proves that he’s not a Christian. Or that he’s a Lutheran.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

The Oxford comma is necessary for orthodoxy. “God is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.” True. “God is Father, Son and Holy Spirit.” Heretic.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

This year, be a man and entrust things directly to Jesus.

Pope Francis

@Pontifex

8 years

Let us entrust the new year to Mary, Mother of God, so that peace and mercy may grow throughout the world.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

Briefly confused Presbyterian thinks it's unfair that Calvinists don't get an olympic team when the Armenians do.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

This is the weather version of when the Jehovah's Witnesses show up at your pastor's door.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

Pope: Ask for anything, up to half my kingdom, and I will give it. Lutherans: Rescind the anathemas of Trent. Pope: How about a nice stamp?

LifeSiteNews

@LifeSite

7 years

Vatican announces stamp of Martin Luther on 500th anniversary of Reformation

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

4 years

Soon

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

5 years

Evangelicals: I don't like the liturgy. Also Evangelicals: Please meet my children--Sanctus, Alleluia, and Kyrie.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

2 years

Happy St. Nicholas Day!

St. Nick's Happy Clappy Anti-Slappy Song

St. Nicholas loves you.But he's very tired of the played out Arius jokes.

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

Happy Ashentine's Day.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

9 years

Pope: Those who want to build walls instead of building bridges can't be Christians. Nehemiah: Dude?!

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

10 years

If you like Billy Graham's grandson Tullian Tchividjian, you'll love Jimmy Swaggart's nephew Pwfneltych Pfjechinfsh.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

9 years

"We don't try to convert the Jews." ~The Vatican "That's literally what I spent my entire earthly ministry doing." ~Jesus

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

4 years

Happy Reformation Day! We are all sinners and creeps! Good thing Jesus died for us!

Video Church Date

Meeting new church members is hard. Let Video Church Date help!Don't be weird, though.

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

If you fear the judgment of God, just call your congressman and urge him to support the Universal Access to Eternal Dwellings Act.

Chris Murphy 🟧

@ChrisMurphyCT

7 years

Last night proved, once again, that there is no anxiety or sadness or fear you feel right now that cannot be cured by political action.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

5 years

Happy Horus Day, Christian dummies!

Horus Ruins Christmas 2

Horus didn't take that left turn at Albuquerque and now he can't find any Christian faith to destroy.Check out Jen's Siukola's album:https://www.amazon.com/L...

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

3 years

Feel free to throw this in the comments the next time someone tells you that you're not being Christlike when you won't fly the rainbow flag.

The LGBT "I Don't Care" Song

So you're on the internet and you've asserted that Christians aren't being Christlike for opposing the New Sexual Orthodoxy? Before we debate that, there's s...

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

1 year

Splendid new video drops today at 5 pm eastern!

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

9 years

Wakka Wakka.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

5 years

Tabitha meeting Peter: A Play in One Act Tabitha: Hi, I'm Tabitha. Tabitha's Grandmother: She also goes by Dorcas. Tabitha: *sighs deeply* Just Tabitha is fine.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

The official shirt for those competing in the Taking Bible Verses Out of Context Olympics.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

5 years

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

4 years

Don't know how much longer it'll be before I get banned on this platform. Whenever that happens, I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, Marty Haugen liturgies give you diabetes of the soul.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

1 year

A charming, non-confrontational video evaluating the wisdom of saying "we put our kids in public schools so they can witness to their friends."

Mr. Thompson and the Vicar Do a Children's Crusade

In an effort to win souls from the secular world, Mr. Thompson and the Vicar have very bravely and ever so courageously decided to send their children to the...

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

1 year

SOON

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

The Pope tweeted a silly thing so I made a stupid video. Please watch it with your eyeballs and share it with your friends who also have eyeballs.

Frank the Hippie Pope Bans All Weapons

Frank has a very bold yet very practical plan for achieving world peace.

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

The Jesuits do have the best fanfiction tbh

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

6 years

It's exactly what it sounds like. Thanks to @revcjackson for the great idea!

Clint Eastwood Reads Praise Song Lyrics

Mr. Eastwood doesn't much care for your vague, sappy, and repetitious worship music.

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

Guys, don't stop looking for the Rachel to your Jacob! You'll know you've found her when you ruin her relationship with her sister.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

6 months

Please enjoy this helpful and productive conversation!

Is This Christian Nationalism?

Hey everybody! It's American's favorite new game show, "Is This Christian Nationalism?" The show where a bunch of lunatics have an insane and worthless fight...

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

"The Case for Christ" is the story of a troubled man whose love for his wife leads him to embrace the faith. Or, as atheists call it, "Revenge of the Sith, basically."

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

6 years

Donall and Conall Meet the JWs

Charles Taze Russell and Joseph Franklin Rutherford are insisting that you must call God by the name "Jehovah."Donall and Conall have some questions.

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

Jesus: Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven. Pope Francis: bro do u even universalism?

Pope Francis

@Pontifex

8 years

Jesus entrusted to Peter the keys to open the entrance to the kingdom of heaven, and not to close it.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

10 years

Having Oprah praise your theology is like having Creed praise your rock band.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

Breaking: World religions unanimously declare that whoever invented bottle flipping can't go to heaven.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

5 years

LOOK WHAT YOU DID PRESBYTERIANS

Adam Savage

@donttrythis

5 years

“GOP” members of the Senate, you unconscionable, pathetic, spineless, hypocritical, lickspittle, death rattle of a racist patriarchal Calvinist shitbags. May all your teeth fall out but one. And in that one may you have a toothache. Enjoy how history looks at you. It’s not pretty

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

9 years

Proof of total depravity: 1. The Bible 2. This election cycle

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

How to Huckabee: 1. Drink 4 gallons of Moutan Dew Nitro 2. Remember that you used to be a pastor 3. Blast out this caffeine-fueled enigma

Gov. Mike Huckabee

@GovMikeHuckabee

8 years

Samson slew Philistines with the jawbone of an ass; CNN now known as "Samson Channel"--reports news with jawbone of an ass. #fakenews BAM!

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

The best thing about no one caring what we Lutherans think is not having to suck up to Donald Trump to maintain the illusion of influence.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

How to reunite: Catholics vow to rescind Trent and adopt Book of Concord. Lutherans vow to stop making fun of Catholics for the stamp thing.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

6 months

New video premieres at 3 central today, if annoying ridiculous YouTube doesn't make it take 4000 hours to upload!

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

5 years

Happy quarantine, my friends. Enjoy this video and only comment if you think it is good and that I am good.

The Church History Mixtape Vol. 1: Worms

After Pope Leo X excommunicated him, Martin Luther stood before Holy Roman Emperor Charles V who urged him to stop being right and cool and amazing.Here's th...

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

5 years

I have finished a video but you may not have it until tomorrow because I have power over you.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

5 years

Happy Easter, everybody. Here's a video mocking the devil and his false teachers. Enjoy!

The Devil's Kenneth Copeland Suit

Satan has a cool new suit for deceiving mankind and destroying his faith. Krampus isn't convinced it's going to work.

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

1. He is among us. 2. "He utters His voice; the earth melts." No need for guns. 3. Less Twitter, more church, hombre.

Joe Walsh

@WalshFreedom

8 years

If Jesus were back among us, he'd tell college students to grow up & he'd destroy all safe spaces. He'd support Capitalism, not Socialism.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

9 years

"I already know the Gospel, and right now I need more practical sermons" is a fancy way of saying "I don't know the Gospel."

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

Whoever made this font was a real design wiz.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

4 years

Hey, watch this video right now or a worldwide pandemic will happen four months ago.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

Hypocrites in the church killed Jesus but He still thought it was worth showing up on Sunday morning.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

Frank the Grumpy Pope.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

6 years

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

The Easter treat for those who give up their humanity for Lent.

Rani Molla

@ranimolla

8 years

Peep Oreos: Post-peak civilization

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

Caiaphas level irony.

Planned Parenthood Action

@PPact

8 years

No one should fear that those entrusted to protect them will harm them without accountability. Freedom from violence is reproductive justice

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

9 years

Vatican to designate posting Star Wars spoilers a mortal sin.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

2 years

Happy Tuesday!

Donall and Conall and Dawkins 2

Our Irish amigos are back for another conversation with Richard Dawkins, atheist, evolutionary biologist, and world class rhetorician.Background images used ...

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

6 years

TFW all the after-service announcements were already in the bulletin.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

"We should care more about love than doctrine" is like saying "we should care more about faithfulness than monogamy."

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

2 years

Merry Christmas! You are all equally annoying!

Mary Tells Us What She Knew

Yes, Mary pretty much knew all that stuff in "Mary, Did You Know."But Mary knowing that stuff doesn't make the song bad. But also Mary knowing that stuff not...

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

4 years

A very special message from me to you:

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

Hoping to have this done in a couple days...

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

4 years

Hello, please give me everything I ask for in this video or you will make me sad.

It's Christmas (Shut Up About COVID)

Please stop talking about it. We know it's still going on. We know what to do. Please stop. STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP. Please. Thank you.

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

6 months

Happy New Lutheran Satire Saturday!

The Adventures of Sir Calvin the Almost Gallant

You know how when you tell Calvinists that their theology is bad, instead of defending their theology, they tell you that your theology is just as bad as the...

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

8 years

If the Reformed are so against pictures, why do they have an icon of Jango Fett as their logo? HT Josh Strodtbeck

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

4 years

God: Worship me and I will bless your offspring. Christians: *worship God then have children who are blessed to believe in Jesus* Richard Dawkins: Well, see this proves that God isn't real.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

2 years

Impress me and I will give you a new Donall and Conall video tomorrow

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

7 years

With everyone swooning over a soon-to-be American princess, seemed a good time to remember:

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

9 years

Hey @BuzzFeed , I answered (some of) your questions for me!

An 'Other' Christian Responds To BuzzFeed's 'Questions Christians Have For Other Christians'

BuzzFeed's latest video may be an attempt to show why the askers are thankful God has not made them like others. But if they want answers, here they are.

thefederalist.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

9 years

Hey Trump, here in America, we don't force those with unpopular religious beliefs to register! We force them to bake gay wedding cakes.

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

6 years

Hey guys, it's Easter! A great day to mock the devil.

The Devil's Easter Press Conference

Hell's most respected journalists have a few questions for Satan after his crushing loss to Jesus on Easter Sunday.Satan is not happy about answering them.

www.youtube.com

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

6 years

Here are the problems you get with a bar called My Church: 1. You hope people tip 10% but you're lucky if they give 2. 2. Old patrons scare off the new patrons who sit in their booth. 3. "Why can't you serve grape juice like the last bar I went to?"

MAREN MORRIS

@MarenMorris

6 years

There are so many dude artists opening bars downtown. When I’m rich, I’m seriously opening one called My Church. All we’ll serve is wine, @RyanHurd is gonna grow his hair back out and be the bartender, and it’ll be on Church street. You’re welcome. 🍷💒

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Lutheran Satire

@LutheranSatire

5 years

Here's a new video to brighten another miserable day of quarantine.