Lucifer: So, you’re dating my daughter…
Vaggie: Yes, sir.
Lucifer: Then there’s only one thing I can do…
Vaggie: *nervous* Okay?
Lucifer: Show you Charlie’s baby pictures! *conjures stacks of albums*
Charlie: Dad!
#chaggie
Charlie: Hey, Vaggie?
Vaggie: Yeah?
Charlie: If money is the root of all evil, why do humans ask for it in church?
Vaggie: Honey, it’s three am.
Charlie: Okay, okay, sorry, night.
Vaggie:
#chaggie
#HazbinHotelCharlie
#hazbinhotelvaggie
Angel: Al, did you eat my dark chocolate?!
Alastor: No, I detest sweets!
Angel: It ain’t sweet! It’s bitter to hide the weed in it!
Alastor: …Fuck.
*1 hour later*
Charlie: Angel, why are you petting Al?
Angel: He’s high as a kite and bites if I stop.
Alastor:
#radiodust
A reminder that Angel can wield what looks like two Tommy guns, two Kalashnikovs, and two assault rifles with minimal accuracy diminished due to recoil TLDR that 8 foot pornstar spider is absolutely shredded and no wilting damsel, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk
Alastor: *presses face into Angel’s back*
Angel: *sighs* I’m still mad at you.
Alastor: *sad whine*
Angel: Really, how old are you?
Alastor: *sad whine*
Angel: Ugh, how the fuck is this workin’ on me?
Alastor: *hopeful whine*
Angel: Fine! *turns to hug Al*
#radiodust
Charlie: So…Vaggie…about those wings…
Vaggie: Yeah?
Charlie: I just…I was wondering if…maybe…
Vaggie: You want to go flying don’t you?
Charlie: OHMYGODYESCANWEGORIGHTNOWPLEASE?!
Vaggie: Get your coat and meet me on the roof in five.
Charlie:
#chaggie
Alastor: You don’t like me do you?
Fat Nuggets: *grunt grunt*
Alastor: Now, there’s no need for such language. I propose a truce, on behalf of the man we both care for, thoughts?
Fat Nuggets: *squeal*
Alastor: I’m glad we could reach an understanding.
Angel:
#radiodust
Alastor: Here, Mon Ange, your gift.
Angel: Gift? My birthday was last-
Alastor: My shoemaker is a demon, not a miracle worker. Hopefully, it’s worth the wait.
Angel: *opens box* Oh, wow- *lifts one boot to see his toe pattern on the sole* Hey! We match!
Alastor:
#radiodust
Angel: Okay, Smiles, what’s your thing?
Alastor: My thing?
Angel: Yeah, your thing. That one thing about yourself you hate but can’t change because Hell.
Alastor: My eyes.
Angel: Eh? Why?
Alastor: They were the one thing my mother left me, and I lost them.
Angel:
#radiodust
Charlie: Vaggie, you awake?
Vaggie: I am now.
Charlie: You ever wonder if our lives are a simulation being watched by extremely invested people we’ll never know?
Vaggie: Charlie, Honey, please...
Charlie: Right, too much, night!
Vaggie:
#chaggie
#vaggiejustwantstosleep
Vaggie: What is Angel eating?
Charlie: Tiramisu. He lost a bet.
Vaggie: So he gets dessert?
Charlie: He bet Al he couldn’t make tiramisu from scratch.
Vaggie: How does Angel lose exactly?
Charlie: He can’t make sex jokes around Al for a month.
Angel: Worth it!
#radiodust
Alastor: Angel, breakfast!
Angel: Al, I love you, but it’s too damn early for-
Alastor: So you don’t want this croissant breakfast sandwich?
Angel: …You bake the croissant?
Alastor: Naturally!
Angel: Give it here.
Alastor: *kisses Angel* Happy Birthday, My April Fool.
Alastor: Mon Ange…
Angel: One sec, Smiles, I’m almost done with this-
Alastor: But, I’m right here-
Angel: And ya got my full attention when I’m done-
Alastor: Angel…!😩
Angel: *laughing* For fuck’s sake, Al! Okay, okay!
Alastor:
#radiodust
Alastor: I refuse to be bested by a pig!
Angel: Sorry, Al, my lap is first come first served. Nuggets got here first.
Alastor: Very well. One moment. *picks up Fat Nuggets*
Angel: Al!
Alastor: *sits on Angel’s lap then puts Nuggets on his* There. A compromise.
#radiodust
Angel: Hey, guys! Look what Niffty left in my laundry! *spins wearing Alastor’s coat*
Charlie: Angel, maybe don’t-
Angel: Hey, I’m Alastor the Radio Demon! There’s a stick up my ass and not in a fun way!
Charlie: Angel!
Angel: He’s right behind me, isn’t he?
#radiodust
Lilith: Vaggie, a word please.
Vaggie: Okay, what-
Lilith: Let me be frank. My daughter loves you, but if you ever hurt-
Vaggie: I’ll stop you right there. If you hurt Charlie, I will end you, Queen or no.
Lilith: *smiles* Good. I’m glad we understand each other.
#chaggie
Radio!Dust Kid: Daddy?
Alastor: Hush, go back to sleep.
Radio!Dust Kid: Were you checking for monsters?
Alastor: Oh, Mon Faon, they wouldn’t dare come here.
Radio!Dust Kid: You promise?
Alastor: I promise.
#radiodust
Alastor: Charlie, I require your assistance.
Charlie: Okay, what’s up?
Alastor: Your courtship with Vaggie seems quite successful. I wish to pursue the same with Angel-
Charlie: Al, it’s dating, not courting… Wait…Angel?!
Alastor: Keep your voice down!
Charlie:
#radiodust
Angel: Why do ya do that?
Alastor: Do what, Mon Ange?
Angel: Call me that, open doors for me, kiss my hand, all that stuff.
Alastor: Would you rather I stop?
Angel: What? No! I just-
Alastor: I do these things because you are worthy of them. You disagree?
Angel:
#radiodust
Vaggie: Alastor, why the fuck do you have a laser pointer?
Alastor: Our dear Charlie asked me to look after an inebriated Angel, so that’s what I’m doing.
Vaggie: How is that looking after- Oh my god. 😂
Alastor: Apparently, it works on spiders like cats-
Angel:
#radiodust
Vaggie: So…
Lucifer: So…
Vaggie: Okay, I gotta ask, has Charlie always talked in her sleep?
Lucifer: Oh, always! Just be happy she doesn’t sleepwalk anymore! Terrified her mother and I, and she’d end up in such unusual places.
Vaggie: Yeah, that’s Charlie alright.
#chaggie
Alastor: Angel…a word, if you please.
Angel: You want a ear rub again don’t ya-
Alastor: Do keep your voice down!
Angel: Ugh, fine, but you gotta pay for my time with this one, otherwise Val notices. C’mon-
*5 minutes later in the Radio Tower*
Alastor: *static*
#radiodust
Lucifer: Angel-?
Angel: Oh, hey Short King.
Lucifer: You’re too pretty to brood, what’s up?
Angel: *sighs* Al and I fought. Prick won’t admit he gets jealous.
Lucifer: Hm…
*later*
Alastor: Husk, have you seen Angel?
Husk: Yeah, he’n Lucifer went out-
Alastor:
#radiodust
Alastor: *drunk* Onward, my faithful steed, to the Hotel! *almost falls off Angel’s back*
Angel: Al, I will drop ya if ya keep callin’ me that!
Alastor: You enjoy being ridden, no?
Angel: No, I ride! Not the otha way around!
Alastor: Shall we switch then?
Angel:
#radiodust
Vaggie: Do I wanna know why Al’s on the floor?
Angel: Smiles bet me $100 I couldn’t take him on hand-to-hand with my “noodle arms.” Now where’s my money, Radio Demon?!
Alastor: *raises hand with cash* Bravo, Angel, bravo.
Vaggie: 🙄 You’re both idiots.
*earlier*
#radiodust
Angel: Whatcha doin’ kiddo?
Radiodust!Kid: *running around wearing Al’s jacket* I’m the Radio Demon!
Angel: Is that so? C’mere! *scoops kid up and kisses their cheek*
Radiodust!Kid: Pa! The Radio Demon is too big for kisses!
Angel: Oh yeah?
Radiodust!Kid: Yeah!
#radiodust
Alastor: Blast, where is Niffty?
Husk: Check the couch.
Alastor *looks over at couch* How long have they been like that?
Husk: Since Angel got back. She said “Angel feels dirty. I can’t clean it, but this helps.”
Alastor: *watching Angel hug Niffty as they sleep*
#radiodust
Angel: Okay, I’m all gussied up, now tell me where you’re takin’ us.
Alastor: Here, of course!
Angel: …I mentioned wantin’ to eat here once like a month ago. You remembered?
Alastor: My apologies, their waitlist made no exceptions and-
Angel: *kisses Al hard*
#radiodust
Alastor: Angel, we’re going to be late!
Angel: I thought you didn’t give a shit ‘bout these Overlord dinners? Why not be late?
Alastor: There’s fashionable and there’s disresp- *sees what Angel is wearing*
Alastor: Nevermind.
Angel: What? But you- *Al pounces* Oh!
#radiodust
I wonder if Al’s shadow just decides it’ll stick close if it likes somebody…
Alastor: Angel, have you seen-
Angel: *Al’s shadow wrapped around him like a blanket* Your shadow? Yeah, I fuckin’ have. Little help?!
Alastor: Alright, leave Angel alone-
Al’s Shadow:
#radiodust
Charlie: Angel, I know you’re getting us free drinks, but maybe lay off the flirting a little? Al’s ready to rip this place apart-
Angel: It was his idea!
Charlie: Yeah, I don’t think he expected to get jealous-
Angel: Oh, cmon, like Smiles would- Oh.
Alastor:
#radiodust
Alastor: *ear twitches as Angel leans over the couch and traces it with a finger* Angel, I’m reading.
Angel: I know. *traces other ear*
Alastor: *ear twitches* You’re playing with fire, Darling.
Angel: Hehe, oh yeah? *blows air on Al’s ears*
Alastor: That’s it!
#radiodust
Radiodust!Kid: Pa! Help! He’s afta me!
Angel: What? *sees Al round the corner on all fours* Uh-uh, sorry, kiddo, you’re on ya own!
Radiodust!Kid: But Pa-!
Alastor: *pounces* Gotcha! Face my wrath, spawn!
Angel: *takes video*
#radiodust
Angel: Smiles, do you think I’m here ‘cause of- well-
Alastor: You prefer the company of men?
Angel: Yeah.
Alastor: You were born to an organized crime family, Angel. I highly doubt your most grievous of sins include love.
Angel: …
Alastor: Oh, Mon Ange-
Angel:
#radiodust
Vaggie: Oh my god. 😳
Alastor: *on the couch with a sleeping Angel’s head on his lap* Shhh!
Vaggie: Alastor, what the fuck-
Alastor: He won’t remember this, and *you* won’t tell him.
Vaggie: But why-
Alastor: We all have our soft spots, my dear, he’s mine.
#radiodust
Angel: Smiles, where’s my guns?
Alastor: Oh no! We are going out!
Angel: Cherri’s in danger!
Alastor: My evening’s in danger!
Angel: It’s for the greater good!
Alastor: Greater good? I’m your husband, I’m the greatest good you are ever going to get!
#radiodust
#incredibles
Vaggie: So, you’re actually secure enough to be okay with other guys flirting with Angel?
Alastor: Of course! It’s frivolous fun after all!
Vaggie: Oh? Because there’s another deer demon offering to buy him a drink at the bar…
Alastor:
#radiodust
Alastor: Alright, Mon Faon, charge when you’re ready-
Angel: Al-
Alastor: They asked for training. You know I can’t deny them anything.
RD!Kid: Yeah, Pa, I wanna get stronger like you and Daddy!
Angel: *sigh* Fine *watches* Omfg 🤣
Alastor & RD!Kid:
#radiodust
#radiodustkid
Alastor: If anyone sees us, you will pay.
Angel: *carrying Al upstairs* Pfft, I’m not the one drinkin’ too much at the Grand Reopenin’. Not my fault you’re as steady on ya feet as a baby deer!
Alastor: That’s it! Let me go!
Angel: Fine, have at it! 😏
Alastor:
#radiodust
Alastor: *appears from the bathroom soaked* Bath time is now your responsibility!
Angel: Rough bath night? 🤣
Alastor: Go ask your spawn!
*earlier with Radiodust!Kid*
#radiodust
Angel: Where’dya learn to play piano anyways?
Alastor: My mother.
Angel: Shit, sorry-
Alastor: It’s alright. She played for the church. I wasn’t enamored with the place, imagine that, but when she played? Magic.
Angel: Must run in the family.
Alastor: Perhaps.
#radiodust
Charlie: Angel! Where’ve you been?!
Angel: Huh? I told ya I had to help Cherri today.
Charlie: Shit, I forgot. Why didn’t you tell Al?!
Angel: I thought I- Shit. This is why he needs a phone! Where is he?
Vaggie: Rampaging toward the Vees’ Tower looking for you.
#Radiodust
Angel: There you are! Why the fuc-
Alastor: *yanks Angel inside closet* Keep your voice down!
Angel: Haven’t been inna closet in decades. Wanna mess around? 😏
Alastor: I hide snacks from our spawn in here.
Angel: You got licorice?
Alastor: Yes…😒
Angel: Gimme!
#radiodust
*bellowing roar in the hotel*
Angel: WHAT THE FUCK?!
Husk: Heh, I forgot, he does that this time of year.
Angel: What?! Who?! Why?!
Husk: You playin’ fuckin’ Clue? I mean, Alastor.
Angel: 🤨
Husk: It’s a matin’ call. Guess his deer side gets horny.
Angel: 😳
#radiodust
Radiodust!Kid: Pa, did you fall in love with Daddy first?
Angel: I did kiddo, but ya know what?
Radiodust!Kid: What?
Angel: Your Daddy fell harder. Right, Smiles?
Alastor: Any interesting way of saying you bewitched me, Mon Ange.
#radiodust
Angel: *sees his mate and kid making faces in a mirror* Do I even wanna know?
Radio!Dust Kid: Daddy’s showin’ me howtah growl like him!
Angel: Really, Al? They’re five!
Alastor: No time like the present! Go on, Mon Faon, show Pa what you’ve learned.
Radiodust!Kid:
#radiodust
Angel: Psst, Smiles, I need your help with a prank!
Alastor: And why would I help?
Angel: Because I’m pranking Husker.
Alastor: I’m in.
Angel: Great! Can your shadow pick me up?
*later*
Husker: *hungover*
#radiodust
#spider
Alastor: Mon Ange, time for bed-
Angel: Mmm, 5 more minutes-
Alastor: Angel, my neck will get a crink if we sleep on this couch.
Angel: Al, you can rotate ya head 180 degrees.
Alastor: Fine, Lucifer made this couch and I refuse to sleep on it.
Angel: There it is.
#radiodust
Angel: I’m goin’ to the store, need anythin’?
Alastor: I’m fine, Mon Ange.
*Later*
Angel: Here, hon, got you those lady fingers you like-
Alastor: But I didn’t need-
Angel: I know, I wanted to get ya somethin’ anyways. *smooches Al’s head*
Alastor:
#radiodust
Husker: Long night?
Angel: You talkin’ to me or Smiles?
Husker: Both of ya. Since I assume you were together-
Alastor: Ha! Husker, my good fellow, we were not-
Husker: You’re wearin’ each other’s bow ties.
Angel/Alastor:
#radiodust
Angel: *holding Demon!Alastor’s face and smooshing it with hands* Bloopbloopbloopbloop!
Charlie: Angel!
Angel: What?!
Charlie: That is a- That is a predator!
Angel: He’s not a predator!
Charlie: What are you-?
Angel: We’re bloopin’! Bloopbloopbloopbloop!
#meme
#radiodust
All spiders can spin webs, so sometimes I think what if Angel can and uses it to make a point like a Rated-R “Charlotte’s Web” 🤣
Husker: You piss off Angel lately?
Alastor: Perhaps, why?
Husker: *points up to above the bar to the webbing reading: “AL FUCK U”
#radiodust
Hope you don’t mind Scratch, I was inspired 🥰
Angel: Smiles, it’s hotter than Satan’s ballsack out here, just take the damn popsicle-
Alastor: No, thank you.
Angel: 🙄 *sits* Fine, dibs then! *takes a bite*
Alastor: Dibs as well-
Angel: On wha-?
Alastor:
#radiodust
Angel: Ya ever notice that Smiles never runs anywhere? He always does that shadow thing if he’s in a hurry.
Niffty: Hehe! I know why!
Husker: Niffty…
Niffty: Veegle search a deer running on your phone!
Angel: *searches* Oh my god- 🤣🤣🤣
#radiodust
Alastor: Niffty, by chance do you know where Angel buys his makeup?
Niffty; Of course! But why, sir?
Alastor: I…might have been borrowing some, permanently, and I think he’s starting to noti-
Angel: *upstairs* WHO THE FUCK KEEPS STEALIN’ MY MAKEUP?!
Alastor:
#radiodust
Husker: Alastor do the tongue thing around you yet?
Angel: Tongue thing? Smiles has a tongue thing? I wanna know about the tongue thing!
Husker: 😏 Oh, you’ll see it eventually.
*later Angel walks into the kitchen and spots Al making dinner*
Angel: 😳
Alastor:
#radiodust
Uno Follow Up 🤣
Angel: You still not gonna talk to me?
Alastor: …
Angel: Oh c’mon Al, it was a game!
Alastor: …
Angel: What’s it gonna take, 10 minutes of ear scratches?
Alastor: 30 or no deal.
Angel: 20 final offer.
Alastor: Done.
#radiodust
Angel: They asked about your ma, again.
Alastor: Was that a question?
Angel: Nope. Last time they asked ya got all moody and watched over’um sleepin’ too. Come to bed, Smiles.
Alastor: I will, one moment. *nuzzles spawn’s head* I wish you could know her, Mon Faon.
#radiodust
Alastor: Angel, Mon Ange, Anthony, love of my afterlife, if you do not stop putting your cold feet on my back in bed, I will stab you.
Angel: Not my fault you’re so warm!
Alastor: But it’s your fault I’m cold!
#radiodust
Post the 5/10 Drink Night
#radiodust
Angel: Mornin’ sleepyhead, time to get that fine ass outta bed!
Alastor: No.
Angel: What? You rememberin’ tryin’ to strip at the bar?
Alastor: Please tell me you’re joking.
Angel: Nope. You were gonna prove how you “pulled” me.
Alastor:
Angel: Why are rolled up shirt sleeves so sexy?! Look at this guy! *shows Vaggie his phone*
Vaggie: The arm muscles are emphasized while showing they’re ready to work hard or fight.
Angel: Fuck. Yes!
*later*
Angel: Hey, Smiles… *sees Al- no coat, sleeves rolled*
#radiodust
Angel: Hey, babe. I met a guy today. He was really handsome and I think I’m in love with him. His name is Rodger.
Alastor: *sigh* Show me the pig.
Angel: *excitedly shows pictures of a new friend for Fat Nuggets*
#radiodust
#meme
#couplesmeme
Angel: Alright, two truths and a lie! Let’s hear yours, Smiles!
Alastor: Hm. I actually considered your offer when we first met, I prefer venison, and I like modern jazz.
Angel: Oh that’s easy! The first one!
Alastor: Ha! Then you’d be wrong.
Angel: Wait…what?! 😳
#radiodust
Angel: Hey handsome, come here often?
Alastor: To our room?
Angel: We really gotta work on your role-playin’, Smiles, c’mere- *pulls him close for a deep kiss*
Radiodust!Kid: *from their room* Pa! Pa!
Alastor: *groans* Now I know why lions eat their young.
Angel:
#radiodust
Alastor: Mon Ange, how much have you had to drink?
Angel: I’m really nice! Please don’t squish me!
Alastor: Alright, time for bed. *picks up Angel*
Angel: So you’re not gonna squish me?
Alastor *sigh* No, Angel.
Angel: Thanks, Smiles, you’re the best. 🥺
#radiodust
Angel: Smiles! There ya are! I’ve been lookin’ everywhere for ya, babe! *pulls Al close and whispers* Please play a long, this asshole won’t take a hint!
Alastor: My apologies, Mon Ange. And it seems you have a tag along. Go on, shoo-
Demon: But I was-!
Alastor:
#radiodust
If you live around deer, you know, they can/will eat any kind of plant.
Angel: Al, ya know I saw ya-
Alastor: I don’t know what-
Angel: You ate Charlie’s flowers. I got video.
Alastor: …And your price?
Angel: Dinner, at 8, my choice.
Alastor: Done.
The video:
#radiodust
Angel: Al, c’mon, at least act excited. We only got to come here ‘cause’uh Charlie and-
Alastor: Her father. 😒
Angel: Alastor Orville, enough.
Alastor: Fine, Anthony Giuseppe.
Radiodust!Kid: Let’s go on the devil duck ride next!
Angel: *elbows Al*
Alastor:
#radiodust
Alastor: Angel, a little help, please!
Angel: Al, what’s wrong?- Ohmygod! 🥹 *takes pic*
Alastor: *stuck with a sleeping Nuggets on his lap* Not helping, Angel!
Angel: Just get up!
Alastor: But that would wake him!
Angel: Oh, Al, ya big softie.
Alastor: I am not!
#radiodust
Angel: Ya really had no idea that guy was flirtin’ with ya?
Alastor: Why would I?
Angel: Jesus Harold Christ on a crutch, Al!
Alastor: How is that biblical accura- *Angel kisses him*
Angel: Dunno how I got the dumb, pretty one, but I’ll take it.
Alastor: Pardon?!
#radiodust
Alastor: Unhand me, you wretch!
Angel: Smiles, you grabbed me! How many have you had?!
Alastor: 5? No, 10? None of your concern! I’ll have you know my lover will not appreciate you harassing me!
Angel: Al, I’m your lover.
Alastor: Angel! There you are!
Angel:
#radiodust
Angel: Hey, Smiles, I found these necklaces for us. They’re antlers that make a heart when you put them together.
Alastor: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person...
Angel: You don’t have to wear it.
Alastor: No, I’m going wear it. Forever. Back off.
#radiodust
#bobsburgers