Lance Witten @LanceTheWitten Twitter profile

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Lance Witten

2 years

I am most proud of the launch of #MyFellowSouthAfricans on this #FreedomDay2022 🙌🏽 This is how we start to build a more inclusive society. Proudly powered by @IOL #MyFSA @myfellow_sa #FreedomDay

IOL launches ‘My Fellow South Africans’

My Fellow South Africans aims to highlight the hopes and dreams of all our citizens in a bid to foster closer relationships with each other, where we focus on our similarities as residents of this...

www.iol.co.za

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

1 year

Spotted a flurry of Fafs

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

7 years

#TweetLikeABibleCharacter Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the fiery furnace:

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

4 years

BREAKING NEWS: My autistic non-verbal 4yo just said the word "TEA"

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

My day has been shit. So let me regale you about my 4yo autistic non-verbal little GENIUS. I was making some sausages and chips for dinner and when she saw I was almost done, she went to the cutlery drawer, took out TWO SETS OF KNIVES AND FORKS, AND LAID THE MF TABLE!!! 🔥

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

4 years

Send a special prayer up for my wife's job interview today. She wants it. We need it. She's been unemployed for eight months.

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

1 year

Guys my youngest daughter (autistic, 6) just told me she wanted a toasted cheese sammich. [rubs tummy] “Daddy? Hungry eat? [points to self] Mila. Bread. Cheese.” [makes pancake flipping motion with hand] My heart 🥹

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

South Africans in disguise bringing Omicron across the border

stuart

@punished_stu

3 years

sharks are amassing on the east coast

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

1 year

“Culturally coloured, politically black” RIP Eusebius McKaiser, an intellectual giant, an incisive mind, an outspoken and fierce defender of truth and justice. We mourn. Rest in power, king ✊🏽

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

I'm so proud of my wife. Today she starts her new job after being unemployed since Nov 2019. That's a long time to be out of the world of work. Through disappointments and rejection, she stayed positive and today begins a new chapter. I love you @lisacharles56 . Knock 'em dead ❤️

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

4 years

Our 4yo autistic non-verbal daughter blows on her finger to show she wants tea and so I told her to put the kettle on AND SHE DID 😳

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

Only South Africans will know

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

4 years

Guys 🥺 Our autistic non verbal toddler (almost 4yo) has been saying "Daddy" but we've never managed to capture it. Today, I was out and she was lying on my wife's chest while she was trying to send a vn, and I got to the door and this happened 😭 #autism #AutismAwareness

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

Do you ever just feel defeated? I think that's how South Africans are feeling rn. Defeated.

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

Had a deconstructed gatsby at Constantia Glen yesterday

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

My autistic non-verbal daughter LOVES music and singing 🥺🥺🥺

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

My cousin makes and installs these 😍🥺 He's so talented. Also he's deaf and has really been struggling for work these past three years. Please support his hustle 💪🏽

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

DA in Cape Town: Best run city! Electricity! Running water! No potholes! Most of Cape Town: *exists in squalor* DA in Cape Town: Elsewhere in South Africa there is worse squalor

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 months

No one will ever know the struggle parents of kids on the spectrum know. But we share the victories. Please share this victory with me… from non-verbal at 4yo to this 🥺

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

I don't mean to brag but this little non-verbal autistic child now has a THREE-SYLLABLE WORD in her vocab 😏 "Firetruck!" usually after she shouts 'mom, haaalp' and then does a little siren sound, because firetruck means emergency mos 😊

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

After MONTHS of work, my wife has achieved this, she made this happen, BY HERSELF 🥺 #AutismSpeaks

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

5 months

Welcome to the world, my daughter ❤️

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

5 months

Welcome to our world, Ava Theresa Witten. To my amazing wife, thank you for baking an amazing little pie. Ava, as long as I have breath in my lungs & strength in my arms, I will protect you. With every fibre of my being, I will defend and build you up. Know that you are loved ❤️

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

Keep your airfryer. This is the real OG 🐐

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

5 years

Guys, my wife was retrenched late last year. This provided her the impetus to launch her own hustle. Please support her - she is phenomenal at what she does. An RT or a like will help. Her next client may be on your TL 🙏🏽

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

Blessed Ascension Day, all. It pains me that we as Christians are celebrating a holy day, with Eid-ul-Fitr celebrated tomorrow by our Muslim brothers and sisters, during a time when there is so much pain and conflict. I pray for sab'r this morning. Ever look to God 🙏🏽

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

When I tell you APPRECIATE YOUR PARENTS WHILE YOU STILL HAVE THEM 😭😭😭 My dad took my car for a quote to get some rust on the left fender sorted, and the car came back aircon regassed and with a full tank 🥺🥺🥺 Thank you, Dadonator ❤️

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

It's no longer microaggressions for me

Editor’s View: Gareth Cliff and John Steenhuisen - don't you dare

OPINION: Don’t you dare assume that my lived experience or the lived experience of other people of colour can be seen through your sanitised lens, writes Lance Witten.

www.iol.co.za

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

Made this from a chunk of wood I picked up

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

Do you measure out the pasta you’re gonna cook or do you allow the ancestors to guide you like a normal person?

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

These were the sausages we tried last night and she ate it on a hotdog roll and I was so proud she was mixing textures in her mouth 🥺 PROGRESS 💪🏽

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

Cape Town Stadium is world class ❤️🙌🏽 51000 people coming together. Absolutely electric. Well played, @WalesRugby but our @Springboks reign supreme 💪🏽

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

The hardest part about remote work is timing the washing machine so you can hang up the laundry before your meeting marathon starts 😭

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

Man, we live in a beautiful city 😍

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

1 year

Manie telling everyone to hou their bek 🤣🤣

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

4 months

Cheslin Kolbe is a gahddamned national treasure 🥹

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

I get a new one today! I GET A NEW ONE TODAY!!!

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

Our littlest monster turns 6 today, still carving her own path, living by her own rules. This is how we went to school today. #autismspeaks

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

Guys, my cousin's restaurant #Ashleys just won best family restaurant in the @KFMza #BestOfTheCape 🥺

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

Just got my first Pfizer shot and I feel fi-100110 1110101 11100 01000 1010 1101

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

This is the power we have, guys. Don't accept racism. Don't say "it's ok" don't "deal with it" or "build a bridge and get over it". SPEAK. OUT. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 We have the power to effect change 💪🏽

IOL News

@IOL

3 years

Nando’s terminates sponsorship of Gareth Cliff's ’The Burning Platform’ after racist incident

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 months

Imagine being this comfy and peaceful, and then moments later, opening your eyes and instantly choosing violence

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

Guys, let's be honest. Times are shit. But you know what? Life goes on. The sun will rise tomorrow. Dala what you must. ❤️

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

4 months

My heart is so full… Ava Theresa was baptised today, our home filled with our loved ones ❤️

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

6 years

Cape Town 🙄 I love my mense 😂

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

4 months

Almost four weeks old… and I get to keep her 🥺

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

4 months

There has been quite a reaction to @IOL breaking the Renaldo Gouws racism story and in response, we have this to say: we will not be silenced. @AdriSenekaldewe @IndyMediaSA @IqbalSurve

IOL and Independent Media condemn threats against journalists, editors and Dr Iqbal Survé over...

IOL and Independent Media have strongly condemned the appalling abuse and threats directed at their journalists, editors, proprietor Dr. Iqbal Survé, and his family.

www.iol.co.za

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

I would love to purchase affordable housing right where this picture is taken

IOL Property

@iolproperty

2 years

Growing demand for affordable housing in Western Cape

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

5 years

Tomorrow we say "I do" I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you 💍❤️

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr and Mrs Witten 😎

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

4 years

The best part about living in Wynberg is being able to hear all the beautiful calls to prayer this morning. There's a wonderful celebratory atmosphere, despite the weather. Eid Mubarak, my lovelies ❤️🙏🏽

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

Tomorrow is a day

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

Good morning

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

4 years

To see my autistic toddler playing with toys in the way they were meant to be played with, seeing her use her imagination using leaves as foodstuffs was just 🥺

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

6 months

Question from the floor posed to the DA: “You have failed to people of the Cape Flats, how the hell do you expect to ‘Rescue South Africa’?”

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

God's richest blessings on your birthday, Granny. 89, not out 🙌🏽

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

After a back-to-back taste test I can now put an end to all speculation. Yum Yum is better than Black Cat.

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

7 years

Minimum wage of R20/hr = R160/day = R800/week = R3200/month R800 = one packet of Woolworths groceries = two packets of Pick 'n Pay groceries = four packets of U-Save groceries What about rent, travel costs, education, rates, electricity? #SAFTUstrike @IOL

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

Cut my toe on a piece of glass under the sand at Camps Bay today and the lovely helpful people of Disaster Risk Management cleaned it up and patched me up so nicely. Kudos, @CityofCT 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

Twitter's Baby. Princess of the Souburbs. First of her name - Ayla Grace 🥺❤️🙏🏽 #NappyParty #DriveBy

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

5 months

Can’t wait to meet you tomorrow 🥹

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

I am the Editor-in-Chief of South Africa’s second biggest news platform and have been a media professional for over 20 years and I still need to double check the spelling of “fuel” and “Tuesday” before writing or typing them.

Matt Farr

@philosofarr

2 years

I have a PhD. I've been a university lecturer for 10 years. I cannot reliably spell either "committee" or "tomorrow."

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

1 year

A beautiful and moving tribute to a man I had a great deal of respect for, from someone for whom I have a great deal of respect ❤️✊🏽

Eusebius will remain an important voice for generations

I was on deadline when I was asked to take a call at the desk of the Chief Sub when I was the editor of the Cape Argus, circa 2012. I didn’t usually take calls between the deadlines of the City Late...

www.capetownetc.com

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

4 years

In the last 24 hours, Covid-19 took four people from us that I knew well, and closely. Please, don't be stupid. Wear your mask. Wash your hands. Don't touch your face. Don't gather in large groups, especially indoors. Fog your homes and cars. Stay clean, stay healthy, stay safe🙏🏽

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

URGENT Please HELP, my wife keeps walking around the house asking if "you wanna bamba?" 😭

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

And Harvey Weinsten? And Roman Polanski? And Woody Allen? Are they banned too?

Reuters

@Reuters

3 years

Will Smith banned from attending Oscars for 10 years after slap

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

Dear @CyrilRamaphosa We really don’t feel like we’re in this together. Where’s the guy who walked along Sea Point promenade making us feel like you were one of us? It was all for show. Please. Fix our energy crisis. @MYANC @IOL

Editor’s View: How drastic a civic approach to blackouts is too drastic?

Amid an epidemic of violence against women and children, we have an energy crisis that’s threatening lives and livelihoods, all brought upon by an epidemic of governmental ineptitude. . . and South...

www.iol.co.za

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

5 years

#RIPDanny My friend is dead after a torturous battle with pancreatic cancer, a years-long battle with addiction, an age of fighting his HIV infection, a lifetime battling his demons. A great heart, an enormous spirit, and one of the kindest souls I know. Peace be the journey ❤️

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

I need to update you about my non-verbal autistic child. SHE IS USING (almost) FULL SENTENCES‼️ Earlier this week she went outside with her ball and giant Barney plush and said: "Come. Daddy. Ball." and I just

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

5 years

FOUR MORE SLEEPS BEFORE I'M A MARRIED MAN! Look at this woman... I'm so damned blessed 😍❤️👰

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

4 years

Guys, it's my distinct pleasure to introduce to you my wife's new business venture. Support local 🙏🏽 I'm so proud of her ❤️ Follow along on IG: milalidesigns Website coming soon (I'm building it)

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

I'm sorry, but my wife 😳😍

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

My forever love, my ride or die, my partner in crime... Knowing you and loving you is the privilege of my life. I love you more than I did yesterday, and less than I will tomorrow ❤️ Happy anniversary, my Babybear. Here's to another year of honeymoon 🙏🏼 #ItsWittenInTheStars

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

11 months

New release dropping June 2024

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

The TL is full of people getting vaxxed and I'm so happy rn 🥺🥺🥺

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

My boy has hit the double digits 🙌🏽 a whole ten year old son, growing up to be such an intelligent, compassionate and helpful young man ❤️

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

5 years

Good morning, Mrs Witten 😍❤️

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

8 months

Guys, I opened my lunch bag and found this 🥹

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

4 years

BREAKING NEWS: Mila pooed in the toilet for the first time this weekend, and then again last night 🥺🥺🥺

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

7 years

@JasonFelix The people wasting water are not the ones living in informal settlements, by the way. It's 60% of the population of Cape Town who just don't give enough of a toss. "I pay for it, so I'll do what I want with it" is just a terrible attitude to have

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

5 years

Here, have this wholesome clip of my wife walking down the aisle to meet me 😍

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

1 year

No-one tells you how frustrating and tiring planning a funeral can be. Pls bbz, write down your wishes, down to what kind of tea you want at after tears and whether the people must have just koesisters and pies, or biryani also, and even choose your own pics for the programs 🫶🏽

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

Just look at my Granny, the Matriarch of our family, a pillar of strength, stubborn but loving, on her 90th birthday. God has truly blessed us 🙏🏼❤️

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

5 months

Here we go…

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

Right, let's see what @UrbanLo has been on about... Haven't trained since before lockdown when I was a frequent flyer 🤣

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

And just like that, it's the last day of my 30s

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

Met some incredible people at #BoeberUnderTheBridge last night. This is Louise Mitas - she makes these doorstops out of bricks and bits of scrap material. I also met Roche Moses and his wife Rushana, who weaves these leather bracelets from offcuts he buys from Woodheads 😍

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

5 years

Happy birthday, my first born, my first true love, my forever love 💖❤️ May the Lord bless you and keep you in all your ways 🙏🏽

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

Take a bow, @GasantAbarder 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 this is a wonderfully incisive piece of writing schooling those who question whether or not life under apartheid was better.

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

1 year

We outchea 🙌🏽

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

7 years

Wait, so let me get this straight... Day Zero is 90-odd days away. They'll switch off our taps, after charging us an exorbitant amount more for the water we're already paying for...

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

4 years

I overheard some of her interview while trying to keep the toddler quiet. Girl KILLED it 😍

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

My daughter brought me lemon tea in the bathroom 😭😭😭

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

Nothing dowwels like yesterday's mince curry on today's bread.

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

There's a nurse talking to the two rastas who just got on the train with three massive bales of imphepho and buchu and it's the most wholesome conversation about the medicinal benefits of herbs 🥺 The carriage smells divine ❤️

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

Lunchbox heroes 💪🏾 #backtoschool

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

3 years

When one wins, we all win. I can't disclose why right now, but praise be to the Almighty God, maker of heaven and earth, who moves mountains for His children. Alhamdullilah 🙌🏽❤️

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

2 years

Couldn't be prouder of my @IOL team! Month-on-month we're 42% up on page views, 33% up on new users, and 27% up on users overall. Onwards and upwards.

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

1 year

Goodbye Granny. Thank you for being the most amazing matriarch of our family. Thank you for helping raise me, taking care of me, looking after me, teaching me, guiding me. A more fashion-forward, stubborn, mischievous Granny there never was. Peace be your journey home ❤️🙏🏽

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Lance Witten

@LanceTheWitten

5 years

Yesterday morning as I poured the milk into her cereal, my 3yo autistic toddler applauded me while smiling and said "Wow!" in this amazed manner that made me feel like giving her breakfast was the greatest achievement I'd ever accomplished. For a moment, I was a goddamned hero 😍

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