Lisa Damour, PhD @LDamour Twitter profile

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

Parents of teens, GO HUG YOUR TEENAGER. I am hearing how much they long for physical contact (usually accomplished by flopping all over their friends). Unsure how this will land? A quick rub on the back or side hug will give you a read. Don't be weird about it. Just do it. 1/3

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

The safest teens are the ones who have good working relationships with adults. Here are some phrases that will help you strengthen your connection with your teen, even as you address the touchy topic of risky behavior. 1/6 🧵

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

I'm uneasy with any narrative suggesting that everyone should expect to come out of the pandemic feeling excited and energized. This may be true for some, but let's be honest: the pandemic has been an emotional marathon. What do people do when they finish a marathon? They rest.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

WHY IS YOUR TEENAGER SO TIRED? There are many reasons. One: Under normal conditions, each school year helps kids build capacity to do more and harder work than in previous years (think strength training). There was no slack in this system *before* the pandemic. 1/9

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 years

1/6 Here's something I've been working on. I'm sure it could still be refined, but it's a solid start. Hope it's helpful to you and yours! HOW TO MANAGE A MELTDOWN by Lisa Damour, PhD

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

2 years

I am *thrilled* to share that I have a NEW BOOK on the way. Coming February 2023, THE EMOTIONAL LIVES OF TEENAGERS will help you understand teens’ intense and often fraught inner worlds—and how to support them through this critical development stage. 1/2

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

6 years

IT'S PUBLICATION DAY! Here's to our daughters and all that we can do to help them build resilience and confidence. Available everywhere books are sold.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

You’re welcome. (Via )

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

When my 10-year-old recently took a strong interest in the Bermuda Triangle, my 17-year-old reassured her that "it turns out not to be as big a deal in your life as you think it's gonna be."

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

Visiting @ClevelandArt on a full sun day.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

6 years

“Every woman's success should be an inspiration to another. We're strongest when we cheer each other on." -Serena Williams

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

2 years

*The Emotional Lives of Teenagers* is an instant New York Times Bestseller! I am so grateful to you all for your incredible support and enthusiasm for this book! Here's to teenagers and everyone who loves them.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

Smart cover!

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

My fabulous 10-year-old made me a sushi costume. Happy Halloween to you and yours! 🎃🎃🎃

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

Next, tell them that they are doing *such* a good job managing an incredibly hard time. As the pandemic drags on, we risk forgetting that our teens are functioning under *bananas* conditions - yet they are mostly upright & marching along all the same. Shower open admiration. 2/3

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

To be clear: being a “parenting expert” does not prevent me from making discoveries like this in my own home.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

My ten-year-old upon returning to remote learning this morning: "Can't I just quit school and go work in a factory?"

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 months

I am thrilled to finally be able to share that, since 2020, I’ve had the honor of working with the incredible team at Pixar on *Inside Out 2*. Riley’s 13 - a teenager now! - and bubbling with complex new emotions. There’s much more to come! #InsideOut2 hits theaters on June 14.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

I could not love this more.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

Last, if you're at odds with a teen who wants to socialize, start with, "I am so sorry that getting to see your friends is something we now have to negotiate. That is NOT how it should be." Discuss safe options, but only after empathizing with their awful "new normal." 3/3

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

Adults sometimes worry that they'll compromise their authority if they admit mistakes to teens. In fact, it's the opposite. Teens know when we're in the wrong and appreciate it when we own our errors.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

What do teens need for mental health? Social connection, sleep, and physical activity.

Social connectedness, sleep, and physical activity associated with

NIH-supported study also found girls were at higher risk for stress, anxiety, and depression than boys.

www.nih.gov

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

6 years

Here's to strong girls and the adults who love them! Thrilled to be #9

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

I'm publishing free downloadable mental health one-sheets (in both English and Spanish) on my website at and at the link in my bio. The newest one-sheet helps parents navigate the critical moment when a teen brings forward worrisome news about a friend.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

The presence of the negative doesn’t mean the absence of the positive. You can feel uneasy about the state of the world and still savor joyful moments. In fact, you must. Guiltlessly appreciating the good things in your life will help to restore your strength and spirit.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

If you are looking for resources about how to talk with your tweens and teens about social justice and anti-racism, here is an excellent list that can help guide us, and our children, in this all-important work.

Anti-racism resources for white people

This document is intended to serve as a resource to white people and parents to deepen our anti-racism work. If you haven’t engaged in anti-racism work in the past, start now. Feel free to circulate...

docs.google.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 years

Starting a new school year means adapting to new teachers, classmates, and demands. Adaptation is inherently stressful. Instead of promising children an easy start, we can reduce stress by promising that they will soon acclimate to the unfamiliar & grow to meet new expectations.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

It's okay - actually, it's a sign of your mental health - if you are having ups and downs right now.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

To help you buffer the psychological impact of COVID-19, I'm publishing free downloadable mental health one-sheets on my website at . The science of stress and anxiety management is clear and useful - these one-sheets put the best of it at your fingertips.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

It's an honor to collaborate with @UNICEF as they work to help parents in more than 190 countries look after their own mental health as they care for children amid COVID-19.

3 self-care tips for parents during COVID-19 | UNICEF

Parents have a lot to deal with. Showing self-care is a good way of modelling the practice to your children. Dr Lisa Damour on three ways parents can take ca...

www.youtube.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

2 years

Today is the big day! *The Emotional Lives of Teenagers* is officially out and I can't wait for all of you to get your hands on it.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

7 years

For teenagers thinking about joining the National School Walkout, new research is on their side. My latest @CBSThisMorning

Activism could be good for young adults, research shows

Students at schools and universities across the country will participate in a national school walkout Wednesday morning in honor of the Florida school shooting last month. Psychologist and CBS News...

www.cbsnews.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 years

I'm incredibly excited about a new role I'm taking on @nytimeswell : answering questions about raising young people. This first question comes from the fabulous team @GrownandFlown . Got a parenting question of your own? Send it to AskDrDamour @nytimes .com

My Teen Lied to Me. Was I Right to Ground Him? (Published 2019)

A psychologist’s advice for a parent whose teenager sneaks out of the house during the night to go to a party.

www.nytimes.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

6 years

My 8 y.o.'s response to an "If I Caught a Leprechaun" prompt: I would demand they take me to thare gold & then buy those weird rubbur chickins then buy a farm equept with real chickins. Then take the rubbur chickins & show them to the real chickins. And freak out some chickins.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

6 years

How can we keep our daughters from becoming overwhelmed by stress and anxiety? I'm thrilled to share that my answer to this knotty question heads to bookstores soon. UNDER PRESSURE releases on February 12, 2019 and is available now for pre-order.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 years

Here comes the paperback - available everywhere one week from today!

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

On this long, hard day, here's the goal I'm setting for myself: to be a steady presence for my kids.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

"Don’t focus on whether you could get caught – you probably won’t. Focus on whether you could get hurt." 2/6

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

9 years

#UNTANGLED - an instant New York Times Best Seller. Available everywhere books are sold.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

“Call us if things get out of hand. We will never make you sorry that you asked for our help.” 4/6

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

2 years

I’m underway with recording the audiobook of “The Emotional Lives of Teenagers” 😀

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

Just so you know what I'm up against around here: this is my 9 yo daughter messaging my 16 yo daughter over google chat. It's not the possible declaration of war that gets me; it's the invitation to "shoot me your ideas."

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

“Nothing matters more to us than your safety. We don’t hate fun. We love you.” 6/6

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

“If your friends want to do something that makes you uncomfortable, feel free to blame your good behavior on us.” 3/6

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

“You want freedom and we want to give it to you. The more evidence we have of your good judgment, the more freedom you can have.” 5/6

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 years

I am as proud of my willingness to cede control of the food coloring to my 9-year-old as I am totally horrified by the results.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

The pandemic has been so hard on teenagers that many parents find themselves wondering whether their teen suffers from depression. Here are some of the key differences between a sad mood and the diagnosis of depression.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 months

Thanks to the @Surgeon_General for today's spot-on @nytimes Op-Ed: "Schools should ensure that classroom learning and social time are phone-free experiences. 1/4

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

Here's a "HOW TO MANAGE A MELTDOWN" bookmark I developed that might come in handy as worn thin kids start to get unwelcome news about their summer plans. You can also find free, downloadable PDFs of this in both English & Spanish at

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

How do you get a teenager to open up? Much of the time, it's by being a quiet, steady presence. Tune in to the latest episode of the @asklisapodcast for more on parenting kids who tend to keep their thoughts to themselves.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

2 years

If this time of year has you thinking, "I could really go for a fantastic end-of-high-school/coming-of-age movie..." allow me to suggest one of my all-time favorites...

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

2 years

When your kid is upset, here are two helpful phrases to have in your toolkit. What are some other phrases that work for you and your family? Let me know in the comments! I greatly appreciate your insight.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

6 years

Order your copy today!

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

Before having knee-jerk reaction to a rude teen, consider trying one of or all of these three options. 🧵 1/4

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

2 years

Coming soon! I'll talk with U.S. @Surgeon_General Dr. Vivek Murthy about adolescent mental health at this special event hosted by @TheCityClub of Cleveland. Dr. Murthy and I will record a live episode of his *House Calls* podcast and the event will be live streamed.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

I spent yesterday feeling frightened and paralyzed by what I've long known to be frightening and and paralyzing for children: the sense that things are *out of control* and that there is *no grownup in the room.* What use is this insight? 1/6

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 years

This headline wrote itself. Here's hoping that my latest piece @nytimeswell proves to be helpful to parents (and teenagers!) during these strange and challenging times.

Quaranteenagers: Strategies for Parenting in Close Quarters (Published 2020)

Because of coronavirus, teenagers are missing out on major rites of passage. Offering compassion paves their way toward feeling better.

www.nytimes.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

BIG NEWS! “Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting” - a brand new podcast - just hit @apple & @spotify and other podcast platforms. Please share the news and subscribe to hear me tackle your parenting questions along with journalist @reenaninan . Follow @AskLisaPodcast #AskLisa

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

1 year

If you're looking for a deep dive into the tasks of adolescence (Untangled), how to help kids and teens manage stress and anxiety (Under Pressure), or how to understand your teen's complex and powerful feelings (The Emotional Lives of Teenagers), I might just have a book for you!

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

My 10-year-old daughter, just now: “Tote bags, you know, are the ‘mom jeans’ of portable storage.”

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 months

Too often, we are equating feeling upset with suffering from a mental health concern. #aspenideashealth

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

Teens can sense an adult's agenda from a mile away. Instead, see what happens when you simply offer your quiet company.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 years

I love every word of this. And it seems especially perfect for father's day. Here's to everyone out there rooting for girls' (and boys'!) emotional growth: "If You Ever Hurt My Daughter, I Swear to God I’ll Let Her Navigate Her Own Emotional Growth"

If You Ever Hurt My Daughter, I Swear to God I’ll Let Her Navigate Her Own Emotional Growth

Every time you two lovebirds go out for frozen yogurt and a movie, I want you to remember THIS: I will be sitting on the front porch with my “REVOLVER” CD playing, because I really LOVE that WONDER...

www.newyorker.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

6 years

Stress doesn't always deserve its bad rap. Now that the school year is in full swing, let's make sure that teenagers aren't feeling stressed about being stressed. My latest @nytimeswell : "How to Help Teenagers Embrace Stress"

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

Tweens: they're not little kids anymore, but they're not yet full-blown teens. Here's a #bookstack dedicated to helping you help your kids through this tricky stage.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

You're welcome.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 years

I'm hopeful that my latest column @nytimeswell will be of use to you and the teens you love.

5 Ways to Help Teens Manage Anxiety About the Coronavirus (Published 2020)

Adults can help by making sure adolescents don’t overestimate the dangers or underestimate their ability to protect themselves.

www.nytimes.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

Many of you shared that your struggling teenager is refusing therapy. Teens sometimes doubt the utility of talking with a counselor or have had bad experiences with previous therapists. Here are some phrases that may help you open up a conversation about seeking support.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

1 year

Being mentally healthy does not mean being happy all the time.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

1 year

It's been a busy, wonderful week. One huge highlight was getting to celebrate the publication of @NPRKelly 's *.* at an event hosted by @PoliticsProse and moderated by the brilliant @michele_norris . Love this photo!

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

The not-so-good news: pretty much everything I wrote in 2020 about raising teenagers under COVID still applies. The slightly better news (I guess?): the advice still applies. Here's my guidance, most recent first, should you need some parenting support right about now. 1/9

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

Learned this one today (and couldn’t agree more): “February is the armpit of the school year.”

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

I’m not sure who needs to know this but the microwaveable rice packets from the frozen section at Trader Joe’s are a game-changer.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 years

I'm hearing how happy older teens are that Netflix just posted three seasons of Victorius, a show from when they were children and tweens. Their delight in this reminded me of an article I wrote about how teens often return to childhood joys when stressed.

When a Teenager’s Coping Mechanism Is SpongeBob (Published 2017)

It’s no surprise that adolescents find handy, if sometimes quirky, ways to reset when they are feeling overwhelmed.

www.nytimes.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 years

It's fun to parent in smooth waters. But sailors are made-and captains do their most important work-in rough seas. I'm thrilled to join @scienceofkids , @PerriKlass & @corrigankelly in this @nytimeswell roundup on navigating the stormy side of parenting.

How to Communicate Better With Your Children in the New Year (Published 2019)

Be a sportscaster. Make a glitter jar. Get a pet. Whether or not you rely on strategies like these, the central advice is to listen more.

www.nytimes.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

1 year

We set college students up for success when we help them hold realistic expectations.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

Parents of teens, this #bookstack is for you! Here are a few great books about teens that you may find useful. Tag another parent in the comments who might like these too!

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

2 years

My 12-year-old to me just now: “Please never say the word ‘tween’ again.”

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

7 years

This moving essay by @jdickerson @slate paints a rich and tender picture of adolescence, and parenting adolescents. "I Can No Longer Get a Decent Photograph of My Children."

At a Certain Age, It’s Impossible to Get a Good Photograph of Your Child

My children are vampires. I don’t mean that they are going to dress as vampires for Halloween. I mean that, like vampires, they cannot be captured on...

slate.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

"There aren’t many upsides to having a virus wreak havoc with one’s adolescence, but on that very short list might be coming to appreciate the growth-giving practice of following stressful periods with deliberate recovery." My latest column @nytimeswell

Why Teens Need a Break This Summer (Published 2021)

The pandemic has been the psychological workout of their lives. The next few months can be a time of recovery.

www.nytimes.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 years

Here's a snippet of my podcast interview with @richroll that lasted a wonderful two hours. Listen to or watch the entire podcast at

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

Raising a son? This one is for you! Here is a #bookstack that will answer your questions and help you through the adventure of raising a boy.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

Three: This means that high schoolers are trying to lift eleventh grade (for example) with mid-ninth or tenth grade muscle. 3/9

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

Just sent my 10-year-old to school with a Halloween hangover. Sending ❤️ and ☕️ to educators today (and every day).

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

Six years ago today, Untangled was published thanks to @penguinrandom and the support of all of you! Since then, it has been published in eighteen languages - I'm so grateful that it remains useful to parents all over the world.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 years

I love my new poster.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

Five: Ask for help, and encourage your teen to ask for help, if needed. Though they're also are worn down by the pandemic, I am watching so many teachers, coaches, advisors, and school counselors give incredible support to kids. 9/9

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

2 years

Why are staggering numbers of teens now feeling sad or depressed? I was honored to weigh in on @DKThomp 's synthesis of the various explanations @TheAtlantic .

Why American Teens Are So Sad

Four forces are propelling the rising rates of depression among young people.

www.theatlantic.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

1 year

Thanks to the @APA for this smart, balanced, and useful guide to social media use among teenagers.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

Following my last @nytimeswell column offering adults a back-to-school list for teens' emotional well-being, several teenage commenters asked me to address them as I address their folks. Of course they're right and I’m so glad they asked. Here’s my answer.

Dear Teenagers, Here’s How to Protect Your Emotional Well-Being (Published 2020)

Guidance for teenagers on staying steady in the turmoil of the pandemic.

www.nytimes.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

3 years

HOW CAN WE HELP? One: Remember - empathy goes far. Just acknowledging these realities helps kids feel better. Two: Explain *why* academics feel like such a heavy lift right now. It's hard for teens to have a perspective on the typical trajectory of middle & high school work. 6/9

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 years

Why do moments that so feel ripe for connection with our teens often turn sour? Usually, it’s because we’re not giving them what they really want and need. My latest @nytimeswell : "Why Teenagers Reject Parents’ Solutions to Their Problems"

Why Teenagers Reject Parents’ Solutions to Their Problems (Published 2020)

It’s usually because we’re not giving them what they’re really looking for.

www.nytimes.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 years

Here's to supporting girls and young women as they meet the challenges and opportunities coming their way in 2020! I'm sending my very best wises to you and yours in the new year. Warmly, lisa

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

1 year

HAPPY PUBLICATION DAY ⁦ @NPRKelly ⁩! Can’t wait to discuss this *terrific* new book with you and ⁦ @michele_norris ⁩ ⁦ @PoliticsProse ⁩ tonight. DC denizens - join us:

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

1 year

Having a large friendship group can, at times, be stressful. Having a couple of reliable friends often gives kids all they need.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

2 years

Teens feel emotions intensely whether they are negative or positive. This means that what can seem like small pleasures to adults can go a surprisingly long way toward helping teens feel better. So what comforts teens? 🧵1/4

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

5 years

If your home is anything like mine, the question "How was school?" is rarely the successful conversation starter I'm hoping it will be. Here are some of my vintage tips for connecting with your tween or teen at the end of the day.

When Teenagers Bristle at ‘How Was School?’ (Published 2016)

Kids may receive the question as adults would a cheerful: “Describe all the tedious things you did today!”

www.nytimes.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

2 years

@amyjoyce_berg That parenting often involves holding one's tongue and, especially with teenagers, not holding a grudge.

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

4 years

Thanks to my incredible colleagues @CBSThisMorning for helping me get the word out about protecting child and adolescent mental health as we head into another disrupted school year.

Preventing a mental health crisis in children and adolescents

CBS News contributor and psychologist Lisa Damour warns how the extended isolation from social distancing could cause a mental health crisis in children and adolescents. As many of them prepare for...

www.cbsnews.com

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Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

1 year

When young people feel stuck, help them to reflect on whether the situation is uncomfortable or unmanageable. I took a deep dive into this topic in a @nytimeswell interview out this week - Raising Teens Is Hard. Lisa Damour Has Some Answers.

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