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Lisa Damour, PhD Profile
Lisa Damour, PhD

@LDamour

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Mom. Psychologist. Creator: Untangling 10to20. Author of 3 NYT bestsellers for parents. Co-host: @AskLisaPodcast . Contributor: @UNICEF @NYTimes @CBSMornings .

Shaker Heights, Ohio, USA
Joined August 2011
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
Parents of teens, GO HUG YOUR TEENAGER. I am hearing how much they long for physical contact (usually accomplished by flopping all over their friends). Unsure how this will land? A quick rub on the back or side hug will give you a read. Don't be weird about it. Just do it. 1/3
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
The safest teens are the ones who have good working relationships with adults. Here are some phrases that will help you strengthen your connection with your teen, even as you address the touchy topic of risky behavior. 1/6 🧵
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
I'm uneasy with any narrative suggesting that everyone should expect to come out of the pandemic feeling excited and energized. This may be true for some, but let's be honest: the pandemic has been an emotional marathon. What do people do when they finish a marathon? They rest.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
WHY IS YOUR TEENAGER SO TIRED? There are many reasons. One: Under normal conditions, each school year helps kids build capacity to do more and harder work than in previous years (think strength training). There was no slack in this system *before* the pandemic. 1/9
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
5 years
1/6 Here's something I've been working on. I'm sure it could still be refined, but it's a solid start. Hope it's helpful to you and yours! HOW TO MANAGE A MELTDOWN by Lisa Damour, PhD
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
2 years
I am *thrilled* to share that I have a NEW BOOK on the way. Coming February 2023, THE EMOTIONAL LIVES OF TEENAGERS will help you understand teens’ intense and often fraught inner worlds—and how to support them through this critical development stage. 1/2
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
6 years
IT'S PUBLICATION DAY! Here's to our daughters and all that we can do to help them build resilience and confidence. Available everywhere books are sold.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
You’re welcome. (Via )
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
When my 10-year-old recently took a strong interest in the Bermuda Triangle, my 17-year-old reassured her that "it turns out not to be as big a deal in your life as you think it's gonna be."
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
Visiting @ClevelandArt on a full sun day.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
6 years
“Every woman's success should be an inspiration to another. We're strongest when we cheer each other on." -Serena Williams
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
2 years
*The Emotional Lives of Teenagers* is an instant New York Times Bestseller! I am so grateful to you all for your incredible support and enthusiasm for this book! Here's to teenagers and everyone who loves them.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
Smart cover!
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
My fabulous 10-year-old made me a sushi costume. Happy Halloween to you and yours! 🎃🎃🎃
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
Next, tell them that they are doing *such* a good job managing an incredibly hard time. As the pandemic drags on, we risk forgetting that our teens are functioning under *bananas* conditions - yet they are mostly upright & marching along all the same. Shower open admiration. 2/3
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
To be clear: being a “parenting expert” does not prevent me from making discoveries like this in my own home.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
My ten-year-old upon returning to remote learning this morning: "Can't I just quit school and go work in a factory?"
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
5 months
I am thrilled to finally be able to share that, since 2020, I’ve had the honor of working with the incredible team at Pixar on *Inside Out 2*. Riley’s 13 - a teenager now! - and bubbling with complex new emotions. There’s much more to come! #InsideOut2 hits theaters on June 14.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
I could not love this more.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
Last, if you're at odds with a teen who wants to socialize, start with, "I am so sorry that getting to see your friends is something we now have to negotiate. That is NOT how it should be." Discuss safe options, but only after empathizing with their awful "new normal." 3/3
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
Adults sometimes worry that they'll compromise their authority if they admit mistakes to teens. In fact, it's the opposite. Teens know when we're in the wrong and appreciate it when we own our errors.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
6 years
Here's to strong girls and the adults who love them! Thrilled to be #9
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
I'm publishing free downloadable mental health one-sheets (in both English and Spanish) on my website at and at the link in my bio. The newest one-sheet helps parents navigate the critical moment when a teen brings forward worrisome news about a friend.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
The presence of the negative doesn’t mean the absence of the positive. You can feel uneasy about the state of the world and still savor joyful moments. In fact, you must. Guiltlessly appreciating the good things in your life will help to restore your strength and spirit.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
If you are looking for resources about how to talk with your tweens and teens about social justice and anti-racism, here is an excellent list that can help guide us, and our children, in this all-important work.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
5 years
Starting a new school year means adapting to new teachers, classmates, and demands. Adaptation is inherently stressful. Instead of promising children an easy start, we can reduce stress by promising that they will soon acclimate to the unfamiliar & grow to meet new expectations.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
It's okay - actually, it's a sign of your mental health - if you are having ups and downs right now.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
To help you buffer the psychological impact of COVID-19, I'm publishing free downloadable mental health one-sheets on my website at . The science of stress and anxiety management is clear and useful - these one-sheets put the best of it at your fingertips.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
It's an honor to collaborate with @UNICEF as they work to help parents in more than 190 countries look after their own mental health as they care for children amid COVID-19.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
2 years
Today is the big day! *The Emotional Lives of Teenagers* is officially out and I can't wait for all of you to get your hands on it.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
5 years
I'm incredibly excited about a new role I'm taking on @nytimeswell : answering questions about raising young people. This first question comes from the fabulous team @GrownandFlown . Got a parenting question of your own? Send it to AskDrDamour @nytimes .com
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
6 years
My 8 y.o.'s response to an "If I Caught a Leprechaun" prompt: I would demand they take me to thare gold & then buy those weird rubbur chickins then buy a farm equept with real chickins. Then take the rubbur chickins & show them to the real chickins. And freak out some chickins.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
6 years
How can we keep our daughters from becoming overwhelmed by stress and anxiety? I'm thrilled to share that my answer to this knotty question heads to bookstores soon. UNDER PRESSURE releases on February 12, 2019 and is available now for pre-order.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
5 years
Here comes the paperback - available everywhere one week from today!
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
On this long, hard day, here's the goal I'm setting for myself: to be a steady presence for my kids.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
"Don’t focus on whether you could get caught – you probably won’t. Focus on whether you could get hurt." 2/6
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
9 years
#UNTANGLED - an instant New York Times Best Seller. Available everywhere books are sold.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
“Call us if things get out of hand. We will never make you sorry that you asked for our help.” 4/6
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
2 years
I’m underway with recording the audiobook of “The Emotional Lives of Teenagers” 😀
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
Just so you know what I'm up against around here: this is my 9 yo daughter messaging my 16 yo daughter over google chat. It's not the possible declaration of war that gets me; it's the invitation to "shoot me your ideas."
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
“Nothing matters more to us than your safety. We don’t hate fun. We love you.” 6/6
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
“If your friends want to do something that makes you uncomfortable, feel free to blame your good behavior on us.” 3/6
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
“You want freedom and we want to give it to you. The more evidence we have of your good judgment, the more freedom you can have.” 5/6
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
5 years
I am as proud of my willingness to cede control of the food coloring to my 9-year-old as I am totally horrified by the results.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
The pandemic has been so hard on teenagers that many parents find themselves wondering whether their teen suffers from depression. Here are some of the key differences between a sad mood and the diagnosis of depression.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 months
Thanks to the @Surgeon_General for today's spot-on @nytimes Op-Ed: "Schools should ensure that classroom learning and social time are phone-free experiences. 1/4
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
Here's a "HOW TO MANAGE A MELTDOWN" bookmark I developed that might come in handy as worn thin kids start to get unwelcome news about their summer plans. You can also find free, downloadable PDFs of this in both English & Spanish at
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
How do you get a teenager to open up? Much of the time, it's by being a quiet, steady presence. Tune in to the latest episode of the @asklisapodcast for more on parenting kids who tend to keep their thoughts to themselves.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
2 years
If this time of year has you thinking, "I could really go for a fantastic end-of-high-school/coming-of-age movie..." allow me to suggest one of my all-time favorites...
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
2 years
When your kid is upset, here are two helpful phrases to have in your toolkit. What are some other phrases that work for you and your family? Let me know in the comments! I greatly appreciate your insight.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
6 years
Order your copy today!
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
Before having knee-jerk reaction to a rude teen, consider trying one of or all of these three options. 🧵 1/4
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
2 years
Coming soon! I'll talk with U.S. @Surgeon_General Dr. Vivek Murthy about adolescent mental health at this special event hosted by @TheCityClub of Cleveland. Dr. Murthy and I will record a live episode of his *House Calls* podcast and the event will be live streamed.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
I spent yesterday feeling frightened and paralyzed by what I've long known to be frightening and and paralyzing for children: the sense that things are *out of control* and that there is *no grownup in the room.* What use is this insight? 1/6
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
5 years
This headline wrote itself. Here's hoping that my latest piece @nytimeswell proves to be helpful to parents (and teenagers!) during these strange and challenging times.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
BIG NEWS! “Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting” - a brand new podcast - just hit @apple & @spotify and other podcast platforms. Please share the news and subscribe to hear me tackle your parenting questions along with journalist @reenaninan . Follow @AskLisaPodcast #AskLisa
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
1 year
If you're looking for a deep dive into the tasks of adolescence (Untangled), how to help kids and teens manage stress and anxiety (Under Pressure), or how to understand your teen's complex and powerful feelings (The Emotional Lives of Teenagers), I might just have a book for you!
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
My 10-year-old daughter, just now: “Tote bags, you know, are the ‘mom jeans’ of portable storage.”
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 months
Too often, we are equating feeling upset with suffering from a mental health concern. #aspenideashealth
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
Teens can sense an adult's agenda from a mile away. Instead, see what happens when you simply offer your quiet company.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
5 years
I love every word of this. And it seems especially perfect for father's day. Here's to everyone out there rooting for girls' (and boys'!) emotional growth: "If You Ever Hurt My Daughter, I Swear to God I’ll Let Her Navigate Her Own Emotional Growth"
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
6 years
Stress doesn't always deserve its bad rap. Now that the school year is in full swing, let's make sure that teenagers aren't feeling stressed about being stressed. My latest @nytimeswell : "How to Help Teenagers Embrace Stress"
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
Tweens: they're not little kids anymore, but they're not yet full-blown teens. Here's a #bookstack dedicated to helping you help your kids through this tricky stage.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
You're welcome.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
Many of you shared that your struggling teenager is refusing therapy. Teens sometimes doubt the utility of talking with a counselor or have had bad experiences with previous therapists. Here are some phrases that may help you open up a conversation about seeking support.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
1 year
Being mentally healthy does not mean being happy all the time.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
1 year
It's been a busy, wonderful week. One huge highlight was getting to celebrate the publication of @NPRKelly 's *.* at an event hosted by @PoliticsProse and moderated by the brilliant @michele_norris . Love this photo!
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
The not-so-good news: pretty much everything I wrote in 2020 about raising teenagers under COVID still applies. The slightly better news (I guess?): the advice still applies. Here's my guidance, most recent first, should you need some parenting support right about now. 1/9
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
Learned this one today (and couldn’t agree more): “February is the armpit of the school year.”
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
I’m not sure who needs to know this but the microwaveable rice packets from the frozen section at Trader Joe’s are a game-changer.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
5 years
I'm hearing how happy older teens are that Netflix just posted three seasons of Victorius, a show from when they were children and tweens. Their delight in this reminded me of an article I wrote about how teens often return to childhood joys when stressed.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
5 years
It's fun to parent in smooth waters. But sailors are made-and captains do their most important work-in rough seas. I'm thrilled to join @scienceofkids , @PerriKlass & @corrigankelly in this @nytimeswell roundup on navigating the stormy side of parenting.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
1 year
We set college students up for success when we help them hold realistic expectations.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
Parents of teens, this #bookstack is for you! Here are a few great books about teens that you may find useful. Tag another parent in the comments who might like these too!
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
2 years
My 12-year-old to me just now: “Please never say the word ‘tween’ again.”
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
7 years
This moving essay by @jdickerson @slate paints a rich and tender picture of adolescence, and parenting adolescents. "I Can No Longer Get a Decent Photograph of My Children."
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
"There aren’t many upsides to having a virus wreak havoc with one’s adolescence, but on that very short list might be coming to appreciate the growth-giving practice of following stressful periods with deliberate recovery." My latest column @nytimeswell
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
5 years
Here's a snippet of my podcast interview with @richroll that lasted a wonderful two hours. Listen to or watch the entire podcast at
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
Raising a son? This one is for you! Here is a #bookstack that will answer your questions and help you through the adventure of raising a boy.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
Three: This means that high schoolers are trying to lift eleventh grade (for example) with mid-ninth or tenth grade muscle. 3/9
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
Just sent my 10-year-old to school with a Halloween hangover. Sending ❤️ and ☕️ to educators today (and every day).
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
Six years ago today, Untangled was published thanks to @penguinrandom and the support of all of you! Since then, it has been published in eighteen languages - I'm so grateful that it remains useful to parents all over the world.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
5 years
I love my new poster.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
Five: Ask for help, and encourage your teen to ask for help, if needed. Though they're also are worn down by the pandemic, I am watching so many teachers, coaches, advisors, and school counselors give incredible support to kids. 9/9
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
2 years
Why are staggering numbers of teens now feeling sad or depressed? I was honored to weigh in on @DKThomp 's synthesis of the various explanations @TheAtlantic .
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
1 year
Thanks to the @APA for this smart, balanced, and useful guide to social media use among teenagers.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
4 years
Following my last @nytimeswell column offering adults a back-to-school list for teens' emotional well-being, several teenage commenters asked me to address them as I address their folks. Of course they're right and I’m so glad they asked. Here’s my answer.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
3 years
HOW CAN WE HELP? One: Remember - empathy goes far. Just acknowledging these realities helps kids feel better. Two: Explain *why* academics feel like such a heavy lift right now. It's hard for teens to have a perspective on the typical trajectory of middle & high school work. 6/9
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
5 years
Why do moments that so feel ripe for connection with our teens often turn sour? Usually, it’s because we’re not giving them what they really want and need. My latest @nytimeswell : "Why Teenagers Reject Parents’ Solutions to Their Problems"
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
5 years
Here's to supporting girls and young women as they meet the challenges and opportunities coming their way in 2020! I'm sending my very best wises to you and yours in the new year. Warmly, lisa
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
1 year
HAPPY PUBLICATION DAY ⁦ @NPRKelly ⁩! Can’t wait to discuss this *terrific* new book with you and ⁦ @michele_norris ⁩ ⁦ @PoliticsProse ⁩ tonight. DC denizens - join us:
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
1 year
Having a large friendship group can, at times, be stressful. Having a couple of reliable friends often gives kids all they need.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
2 years
Teens feel emotions intensely whether they are negative or positive. This means that what can seem like small pleasures to adults can go a surprisingly long way toward helping teens feel better. So what comforts teens? 🧵1/4
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
5 years
If your home is anything like mine, the question "How was school?" is rarely the successful conversation starter I'm hoping it will be. Here are some of my vintage tips for connecting with your tween or teen at the end of the day.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
2 years
@amyjoyce_berg That parenting often involves holding one's tongue and, especially with teenagers, not holding a grudge.
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@LDamour
Lisa Damour, PhD
1 year
When young people feel stuck, help them to reflect on whether the situation is uncomfortable or unmanageable. I took a deep dive into this topic in a  @nytimeswell interview out this week - Raising Teens Is Hard. Lisa Damour Has Some Answers.
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