Let's get the reasonably recent decent stuff out of the way to try and prove I'm not a complete hack.
The rest of the stuff you'll see here... well.. I can't promise you anything there.
@JAPversus
"Says here your pronouns are he/him, so you're going to get to enjoy your male privilege of being fed to the meat grinder!"
"Um.. I think I'm a she/her.."
"Excellent, our diversity drive is working to increase the number of women fed to the meat grinder!"
@JoshuaPotash
My last job, they changed the yearly bonus to being performance-based and no one outside of management & admin got a bonus.
A week later, without a hint of self-awareness, stuporvisor wants to tell us all about the fixer-upper house his bonus helped him buy.
@NotHaru47
@HMBohemond
"Evil races are bad game design"
No, a muddled mess of grey goo moral relativism is bad game design; I play D&D because it's fun to play an action hero, not because I want a lecture on how there might one day be a good goblin.
@goldfisheater0
@reddit_lies
You know what's awesome? Being able to go wherever the fuck I want with almost no time restrictions because it's my vehicle.
Drive across town to get fast food? Not a problem.
Next town over to visit someone? Easy.
Other side of the continent? Just because I can.
@RulerOfHumanity
"So, how did your negotiations go with.. why do you smell so much of fish, sir?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. Negotiations went well. I shall retire to the baths."
"You might want a mint or two as well, sir, it's on your.."
"THEY WENT WELL, LEAVE ME BE."
@epicdndmemes
"I've got my passive perception to 30, what can I perceive."
"You perceive that you clearly need a shower, your clothes are very rough on your skin, you can feel the wax in your ears and it's making them itch, that whistling when you breathe thru your nose is deafening.."
@deltaasherhill
@JAPversus
"Don't worry, it'll be was/were shortly after we shove you off the chopper into a hot LZ but I'll be sure to make sure the paperwork's correct."
@FShoggoth
@RareOats
"Wow, honey; that was great. Now gimme a minute to pinch one off & fill the place with farticles and then we'll get back to the action."
@epicdndmemes
DM: "Here's the hook & basic details for the campaign"
Problem Player: "Why won't you let me build something that'll reduce other player's immersion while showing you how little I respect both your creativity and planning by trying to shoehorn my meme into your campaign?"
@buggy_con
Western writers: "You can't have Frank Castle killing criminals, it makes him the bad guy!"
Also western writers: "Why doesn't Batman just kill the Joker, Two-Face, et all?"
@MatsGermany
@reddit_lies
4chan plays by the exact opposite rules as Reddit.
It's all anonymous, so you can' dig thru someone's post history when you're losing an argument.
The mods will not ban people for making fun of you.
There are zero filters and no rules of engagement.
It's fucking glorious.
"I think I've drank enough tonight, Sal. How 'bout you tell me where I can find the Bagley boys; I've got something of theirs I'd like to give back."
"Bagley boys are armed up, Sam. You might.."
"Don't think bullets are gonna be a problem, Sal."
@michaelmezz
1) She's blathering on about how bad oil is while wearing multiple items made of the stuff.
2) The heating issue is because Europe thought trusting Russia could be trusted and that's never worked out in the past.
3) Gov't tax revenue from the oil industry > renewables.
@goldfisheater0
@reddit_lies
I live in the middle of nowhere in Canada, I'm not paying a cab $10 to get groceries across town every week when it's -40C, I own a vehicle that can handle this shit.
Also, I can drive 5 minutes in any direction and not be surrounded on all sides by people and I like that.
@1WhiteRabbitt
The ability to think only in binaries is a sign of an underdeveloped mind and using false dichotomies is a sign of one who argues in bad faith.
@Official_Mento
@haultrukkz
All they need to do is hook up with the person who loves crafting high-quality glass for free made from sand shovelled by the person who loves shovelling sand for free and metal made thanks to the person who loves mining with hand tools for.. oh, wait..
@epicdndmemes
"A serious relationship? Don't be silly, Human, you're too weak for my tribe to accept. But I've had half-a-barrel of mead, WIS was my dump stat, and I'm curious as to whether you'll survive the night..."
-Typical origin story of a half-orc
@epicdndmemes
"How could the goblins possibly know I'm the wizard?"
"You pointed out in the first adventure that you're wearing a pointed purple hat with stars on it."
"Okay, but.."
"You're also the only one not wearing any armour."
"Err.."
"AND you cast Magic Missle first.."
"OKAY!"
@WH40kbestof
Lamenters: "We need to evacuate the children first, give them all our Thunderhawks, we shall fight to the last if we must to keep them safe."
Marines Malevolent: "Don't worry; the children are already on their way to the Emperor."
Lamenters: π
@I_Am_CyberSmith
@phantom_icu
@ArmedJ0y
"Let's just move all our troops thru these narrow mountain passes; it totally wouldn't turn into an even worse Afghanistan-style mess seeing as we have zero air support..."
@Leestha1
@SatokouMumen
@swordscomic
No shock value in snakes, tho.
Imagine you're facing some big bad who'd just finished his monologue and the first thing he sees you do is load a kitten into a clearly specially-made device and crush it, and then your sword starts glowing.
Big bad be like: "I'm in danger..."
@sewergunk
@CommonSenseThx
@ShitpostGate
Most of it was taken from the French and the Spanish after America became a political entity, not by the English.
And nothing makes the Americas so special they should have remained forever untouched by the rest of human history.
@reddit_lies
4chan will always be a healthier online environment than Reddit could ever hope to be and Reddit does everything it can to maintain that state.