Spencer Clark @KalanisCalves Twitter profile

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Spencer Clark

5 years

PSA: you don't need to tell the story about how the bishopric contacted you to speak in church. We know they contacted you. Just start with the talk.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

16 days

If you would have told me in August that between the UofU and BYU, after 6 games, one team would be 6-0 and the other team would be 4-2, I would have been ecstatic that BYU was 4-2.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

BYU has THE BEST 4th quarter hype experience in college football. If your school doesn’t have fire dancers, take a seat.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

Unpopular opinion: It’s possible to be both pro vax and anti mandate.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

BYU beat a team today that really wasn’t that impressive. They also beat SMU in football.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

Hey BYU fans: We have a huge game against Baylor this week. Stop talking about the Utes. I’m not even sure why anyone is talking trash, they played a great game. But move on.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

15 days

If I can do it, you can do it! October 2023 October 2024 Wt: 325 lbs Wt: 215 lbs Waist: 46 Waist: 34 Body Fat: ~45% Body Fat: 14% Shirt size: XXL Shirt Size: L

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

My aunt was Elder Ballard’s secretary her entire career. He often came to our family gatherings. Here he is holding my two oldest kids. He’s an amazing person. If you feel like speaking ill of him, I suggest you log off X, because you don’t know what you’re talking about.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

9 months

“Do you have any idea how important I am to this conference?!!!”

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

I lost 70 lbs on my mission. Walked 10-15 miles per day. Often slept in hammocks. Often had to sleep under mosquito nets. It was hot, it was hard. It was worth it. We didn’t care because it wasn’t about us, it was about the people we served. We weren’t thinking about ourselves.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

5 years

When I was 9 mos old I drowned my twin bro in the bathtub. He was saved by a neighbor who lived in the basement apt. 25 yrs later, I'm sitting in PT school, listening to our professor tell a story of how he saved a 9 mo old neighbor boy who was drowned in the bathtub. Same story

Aidan Moher

@adribbleofink

5 years

Tell me a story about yourself the sounds like a lie but is absolutely true.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

The Lord asks us to me to pay 10% in tithing and some people think the church needs to be more transparent about how it spends it. The government takes 40% of my income and those same people think that’s not enough and we should be taxed more.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

Utes: “USC is our rival.” USC: [Schedules BYU for rivalry week]

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

The church could literally release all of its financial records and 99.9% of people complaining wouldn’t even know what they’re looking at. They would have to wait for a tiktok to tell them what it all says cause they can’t even manage their own finances.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

10 months

Salt Lake Tribune: They could have used that money it cost to do this to feed and shelter the homeless.

Jared Bell

@jaredadairbell

10 months

Them: Mormons aren’t Christian Us: No worries bro. Give me a quick minute. Imma light up Times Square promoting the Savior’s birth.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

4 years

Unpopular opinion: The President of the United States never has been, nor will be, responsible for the good and bad things in your life. Have some dignity and pride in yourself. We are the product of our own choices.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

8 months

I’m storming the court!

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

How good was Jaren Hall this year? He far exceeded my expectations. You can count the number of bad decisions he made in the entire season on one hand. Against the schedule he faced, he was an incredibly effective QB and leader. Well done sir.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

11 months

The church lied to me. Since I was 3 years old I was taught in primary that “We’re all made of hinges cause everything bends.” It wasn’t until my eyes were opened in college that I learned that some joints are ball & socket while others are pivot I’m seriously shaking right now

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

Apparently, even though the US has a $2T welfare budget each year, the reason there are still homeless people, poor education, and starvation is because the LDS church is “hoarding” $100B.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

Me: Did you see that the SEC fined the church $5M? Wife: Yeah, what’s that about? I thought they were going to the Big 12? Me: Wife: Me: Wife:

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

Nobody. Literally nobody. LDS Chapel Architects: We’re going to put carpet on the walls.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

4 years

Unpopular opinion: You do not need the President of the United States to improve your life. There is nothing stopping you from going and getting anything you want on your own.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

Tyler Effing Allgeier

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

6 years

Never mind that the church donated $52 Million in Utah in order to house the homeless. #tribgonnatrib

The Salt Lake Tribune

@sltrib

6 years

With one @LDSChurch chapel for every 1.3 square miles in Salt Lake County, Dave of Holladay wants to know: Why are these resources not being used to house the homeless population?

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

I voluntarily donate 10% to the church. The government takes 3-4x that amount in taxes under penalty of fines or jail, and we don’t get a full accounting of that.

George Pyle

@DebateState

2 years

This weekend's @sltrib editorial. It's more than just the $100 billion-plus in Ensign Peak. It's all the other funds, properties and businesses. The @LDSchurch owes its followers - and the rest of us - a full accounting of where its money goes.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

8 months

Ya’ll are gonna feel really stupid for what you’ve tweeted once BYU wins this game.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

How did we get so lucky to have Mark Pope AND Kalani effing Sitake! Give Kalani a raise! Give Pope a raise! Dang it, give Holmoe a raise!

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

Are we sure Tuiaki isn’t calling the offense?

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 months

Dear Democrats, It’s totally cool if you want to vote for Kamala because you would rather have her than Trump. Just stop pretending she’s a good candidate or would even make a good president, it makes you look like a tool. Dear Republicans, Why did you elect Trump to represent

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

10 months

I’ve been a Northwestern fan since as long as a can remember.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

4 years

2019 BYU fans embrace a kid from Tennessee because he does cool designs ➡️➡️➡️ Unlimited supply of awesomeness & sweet logos 2020 BYU fans embrace a hero that drives the equipment semi➡️➡️➡️ We all get to travel cross country vicariously through a legend @volcoug @byuequipment

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

Sources: Jazz are in talks to send Donovan Mitchell to New York in exchange for New York shooter, Jimmer Fredette.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

9 months

Such a tiresome argument. The church does pay taxes on investments and commercial ventures. Not even my 5 and 7 year old whine as much as this guy about vacuuming the floors and cleaning the windows in the church.

Brother Ricky

@BrotherRicky

9 months

The Mormon Church is the Wealthiest church on earth, with six times the wealth of the next richest church. Despite this, they tell the poor to starve their children to pay more tithing, and force members to do free janitorial work. It’s time to remove their tax exemption. #cult

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

16 days

are we actually good? We beat an SMU team that looks legit. We beat K-State that looks legit. We beat an Arizona team that looks legit. Still not sure. But this team has already exceeded my expectations.

Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

24 days

So are we actually good? We beat an SMU team that looks legit. We beat K-State that looks legit. Still not sure. But this team has already exceeded my expectations.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

6 years

The BYU honor code isn't nearly as oppressive as the Provo parking enforcement. Those guys will be held accountable at the judgement day.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

6 years

@geordy_schex @IsabelAtmaxo People are not less likely to watch it because women are playing it, that's sexist. People don't watch because it's not entertaining, much like nobody is going to pay to watch me play, it's really quite simple.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

5 years

Utah 30 BYU 12 BYU 30 USC 27 USC 30 Utah 23 College football is weird.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

Breaking: Sources confirm that negotiations between Kalani Sitake and the University of Oregon stalled when Oregon was unable to meet the demands of: 1. Mansions on high 2. Duck tails (a 24 inch diameter apple fritter)

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

The fact that both Democrats and Republicans don’t like Mitt is reason enough for me to like him. It’s ok see see both good and bad on each side of the political spectrum. That’s called being a moderate.

Senator Mitt Romney

@SenatorRomney

2 years

My thoughts on the President's State of the Union address:

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

The fact that we leaped over Coastal Carolina in both polls is just continued icing on the cake.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

6 years

Can we please stop pretending like your dog is your child? I get that they give you validation in your life,but they are not the same thing! You are not mommy and daddy and your parents are not Grammy and Poppy to your dog. This is madness I'm going to get roasted for this tweet

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s possible to work a full time job while also attending college full time. It will help you reduce your debt while in school. It’s a weird concept, I know.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

I disagree. U fans travel really well, I see them at every BYU away game.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

Truth bomb: God does not love you more or less if you served a mission or not. Yes, serving a mission is an expectation, but if you’re self righteous and uncharitable to those who didn’t serve, you apparently didn’t learn what it’s like to be a disciple.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

Ute fans really trying to compare wins to BYU to show they’re better. Bruh, we played each other.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

4 years

Hot take: You can disagree with someone and still treat them kindly.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

Unpopular opinion: You don’t need to buy your kids an electric scooter. Or an e-bike. Or a golf cart. It really is ok to have them ride a pedal bike. (I can’t wait for all of the snooty parents to tell me how wrong I am)

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

10 days

Bruh, night games at the BYU Football Temple just hit different.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

I love BYU football. I’m proud of the players, they seem like awesome men that will do a lot of good in the world. I’m just grateful that my day to day performance isn’t broadcast on TV for everyone to critique.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

The number of people trying to paint this as a negative is not unexpected. There is something very good about high school kids working part time jobs. If you don’t learn entry level skills as a high schooler, then you’re going to be learning them as a 20-something.

The Salt Lake Tribune

@sltrib

1 year

Workers age 16 to 19 made up 7% of the Utah workforce in 2021. That’s the highest of any state and nearly double the national rate of 3.7%.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

Breaking: Church builds strong financial portfolio by following the principles it teaches its members to follow.

The Salt Lake Tribune

@sltrib

1 year

This Sunday’s edition of “60 Minutes” will lead off with a report about the LDS Church's finances and will feature an on-camera interview with a former senior portfolio manager who turned whistleblower.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

Dear Kalani, I know you feel bad with losses and that you, the staff, and players take losses extremely hard. I also know you all poured over film to find out what went wrong and how to improve. You owe me no explanation. I got your back. Signed, This guy

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

6 years

Zach Wilson rocked it yesterday. But the second biggest story of the day for me was ZERO dropped passes. TEs and WRs made plays on the ball and made difficult catches. That has been something we've been missing.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

Ex-mos: Times are changing, the church needs to make changes to keep up with the times. [Adustments made to temple presentation] Ex-mos: See, the church isn’t true, a real prophet wouldn’t keep making changes like that.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

10 months

New Perspective: Connor (10) and I had an amazing opportunity to spend some time with the @BYUMBB team. We flew on the team’s charter flight, stayed in the same hotel, were invited to attend team film sessions, eat meals with the players and staff, attend shoot around and

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

4 years

If anything, this election is evidence that we need a moderate party. Both Democrats and Republicans have swung their proverbial pendulums way too far in each direction. Our current system is tribalism and it's very toxic.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

4 years

A lot of you never lived through 2001 BYU that went 12-0 with a Doak Walker winner and then got waxed by Hawaii in their final game and wasted in their bowl game. And it shows.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

I don’t pay tithing because I think the church needs it, I pay tithing because it’s a commandment. I’ve known for literally my entire life that the church has commercial investments. That has never been a factor in if I pay tithing.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

This is part of the problem. I buy a Tesla cause I want a Tesla. I eat at Chick-fil-A cause I’m hungry. I wear Nike cause it fits. I watch Tom Hanks cause he’s a good actor. I like John Stockton cause he’s the OG. You don’t have to freaking make everything political.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

8 months

Honestly, it’s the most BYU thing ever to lose to K-State and then turn around and beat KU on the road.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

Spread the word

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

Deacon’s Quorum advisor just announced that the activity Wednesday is at his house. He’s smoking 7 racks of ribs. We have 8 young men. The church is true.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 months

Ute fans complaining about ESPN+, like y’all didn’t have to live through the PAC 12 network. SMDH.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

The church has published 27 volumes of documents with commentary, and yet you know all about Joseph Smith because you listened to an ex-mo podcast?

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

5 years

Win or lose for BYU, if Utah loses to USC can you imagine how obnoxious BYU Twitter will be?

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

This is one topic I swing left on. This is absolutely the way it should be. People that are against this, you do realize it’s not a steak dinner, right? It’s school food. I even go as far as letting their parents eat with them. This helps those that are in need.

Fox News

@FoxNews

1 year

Democrats demand universal free breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a snack for kids in school

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

4 years

I’m so happy for the saints in Lindon, UT. That 3 minute drive to American Fork is brutal.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

9 months

I really don’t care if you’re a Democrat or Republican. How you treat others around you tells me what you stand for. Are you generous? Polite? Seek to lift others up? Do you personally strive to be a decent person? Then I don’t even care what your politics are.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

Pac-12 be like:

KSL Sports

@kslsports

1 year

BREAKING: The @utahjazz have a TV deal in place. #TakeNote

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

New grads usually start at $65,000. I made an offer for $120,000 salary and to buy him a car. His response: I just think I’m worth more than that. 1. I think it’s important to not undervalue yourself 2. It’s not necessarily a good play to price yourself out of a market

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

Let’s all be honest. None of us had BYU being 5-1 to start the season. I’m totally happy with where we are right now.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

17 days

I know Ute fans are feeling bummed about their team right now. Unfortunately, it could get worse, not that it will. But I witnessed BYU lose to UMASS at home. So it could definitely be worse.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

Y’all can come after me for this, but realtors make way too much money for the work they do to sell a home.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

Happy sabbath!

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

4 years

Sorry if I’m happy BYU thumped an ill-prepared Navy and a subpar Troy. But I’m old enough to remember when they lost to UMASS.... at home.... I’m buying what this BYU team is selling.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

People get mad if the church saves its money. They get mad if the church spends its money.

The Wall Street Journal

@WSJ

1 year

A new Mormon temple in Idaho is 71,125 square feet. Its limestone flooring was quarried in Bethlehem and wood for its doors was imported from the Congo. It cost $69 million to construct—and is just one small part of a global spending spree.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

4 years

You wanna know that Zach Wilson is good? He threw for 292 yards on 73% completion with 2 TDs and no interceptions, and we think he had a bad game.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

If you are a BYU fan and you don’t want Utah in the Big XII, I can appreciate the vitriol. But you’re wrong. Utah provides a ton of value to the conference. Utah and BYU should be in the same conference.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

5 years

So you know how on November 23rd of 2019 we all paid $21.99 to watch the BYU/UMASS game on FloSports? Yeah, I kept forgetting to cancel the subscription. That 1 game actually ended up costing me $131.94.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

Cam Rising looks like he’s ready to go next week against Baylor

Pardon My Take

@PardonMyTake

1 year

COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS BACK. ITS GAMEDAY

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

This is what happens when we avoid telling people their idea is stupid because we don’t want to hurt their feelings.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

It doesn't matter who would win between BYU and Utah if they played right now, they're not playing right now. I'll take the W in week 2, thank you.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

4 years

Good news: We probably aren’t going to have to hear about Zach growing up a Ute fan this year. Bad news: Did you know he drove to SoCal EVERY weekend to train with John Beck to work on his game?

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

Me: [Forced to pay nearly 40% of my income in taxes] Libs: It’s for the greater good, we’re supposed to provide for the general welfare Me: [Voluntary pays 10% off my income in tithing] Progmo: The church is greedy and robbing us, we need to know exactly what it’s used for!

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

11 months

If any BYU fans are going to the game Saturday, Walmart has these in stock.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

4 years

COVID isn’t all bad. I mean, it did cancel all 14 of my wife’s family Christmas parties with every combination of extended family members. So there’s that. #blessed

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

Y’all can hate on Zach Willson all you want, but he has a guaranteed contract of $35,000,000. Who’s laughing now?

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

6 years

Older man told me I was being rude having my 2 year old in quorum today & that I should take him out because he couldn't hear. Instead of being offended and going inactive I left church with my toddler, went home, got eggs, and egged his front door. How's everyone else's Sabbath?

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

4 years

People in Kamas don't mince words.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

Like and retweet if your team is 4-1

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

Unpopular opinion: It’s possible to treat others with respect and kindness without condoning or affirming their actions or beliefs. Failure to affirm ≠ hate

Lindsay Gibbs

@linzsports

2 years

It’s obviously awful that so many hockey players, etc, won’t wear pride shirts. But what pisses me off even more is when they won’t wear pride shirts but still INSIST that they don’t hate the LGBTQ community. If you don’t hate the LGBTQ community, wear the shirt!! Simple!!

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

Unpopular opinion: College kids aren’t financially illiterate because the public school system failed them. They’re financially illiterate because their parents failed them. Stop depending on schools to teach life skills. That’s what parents are for.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

How many Nacuas are there?

Tei Nacua

@TeiNacua

1 year

Itssss official, letsssss goooo Thank you @BYUfootball @fsitake

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

3 years

People saying BYU fans need to calm down because BYU basketball has only played 3 games. Homie, that’s what fans do. We get excited when we beat a good team on the road. In don’t care when in the season it is.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

2 years

If my kid’s schools sent out a sign up sheet for dads to volunteer as armed guards for either a morning or afternoon shift, I would suspect every time slot to be filled in a couple days.

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Spencer Clark

@KalanisCalves

1 year

Say what you want, this is a pretty dope conference.