John Finnemore @JohnFinnemore Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

6 years

I do like a protest where the protesters politely ask if they can pet the police horses.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

No... no, I don’t. But I can’t help feel that by the time you’re appealing to the public for information on this point, you should probably have closed the zoo...

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

Here is Boris Johnson writing about the predicament he finds himself in, and why he still can’t bring himself to resign. It’s surprisingly honest and insightful. Possibly because he wrote it in 2006, about Tony Blair.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

Looks like the horse has learnt to make signs. Your move, alpacas.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

5 years

Just passed twelve disappointed looking men trudging home again. And their dog.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

This is a self-indulgent tweet which I may regret, but… today I acted with Hugh Laurie, directed by Armando Iannucci; and Radio 4 broadcast me acting with Michael Palin. My fourteen year old self would be absolutely beside himself. And frankly, so is my forty-four year old self.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

2 years

In Strasbourg, the street signs come with bonus commentary from Muttley.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

2 years

Shocking to hear that the world’s pope population may have declined by as much as 50% this year. We must do more to help conserve these beautiful but fragile creatures.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

6 years

I know optimism is a fool’s game, but... what if 2019 is the anti-2016? Brexit abandoned in the face of No Deal. Trump resigns in the face of impeachment. Lots of beloved entertainers are born. (Obviously we wouldn’t find about about the last one for a while.)

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

When you want to leave a note for your neighbour, but you can’t find a post-it anywhere...

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

Delighted to say that BBC Radio 4 are repeating the first series of Cabin Pressure! First episode at 7.15 this evening. I may well live tweet it...

BBC Radio 4 - Cabin Pressure

Sitcom about an airline for whom no job is too small but many, many jobs are too difficult

www.bbc.co.uk

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

2 years

Very happy to say that my stolen car has been found! Undamaged, parked not far from where it was stolen. And, from the place the thieves dumped the things they didn't want, I retrieved 5 out of 7 of my notebooks, including the most important one. Small thread on things I learned:

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

Thank you very much to the Good Omens fandom for making me feel so welcome aboard today. Heaven (and hell) knows I’m no Terry Pratchett; but I’ll do my very best. And luckily @neilhimself is one hell (and heaven) of a Neil Gaiman.

Mars

@MarsDaydream

3 years

Dear @neilhimself and @JohnFinnemore , I hope you're aware of the tremendous levels of joy on the internet today due to the announcement that you are working together. p.s. I also hope there really are otters in heaven. It will drive Gabriel insane. (love you both!)

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

5 years

Dear My Computer. I know that once, months ago, I made a typo in the name of a character. And I can tell from your autocompleting since that you were very taken with it. But please... you have to accept... we will be hearing no more in this script from the character ‘Boob’.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

2 years

….DRESSED, ye Merry Gentlemen, let nothing you dismay! For it is Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Day. It’s Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Day… It is Chri-hi-hi-hi-hissy-mas day, Chrissymas Day; it is Chri-i-i-i-i-i-istmas Day!

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

6 years

Very much looking forward to this new production from Mid Kent Fisheries. Their ‘Giselle’ last year was sublime.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

"Get DRESSED ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay! For it is Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Day! It’s Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Day! It is Chri-hi-hi-hi-hi-hi-histmas Day, Chrissymas Day…. It is Chri-i-i-i-i-istmas Day!”

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

7 years

Geeeet dressed, you merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay! For it is Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Day! It’s Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Day; it is Chri-hi-hi-hi-hi-histmas Day (Chrissymas Day) it is Chri-i-i-i-i-i-istmas Day!

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

2 years

Oh, rats. My car has been stolen. Full of luggage, including several notebooks full of my work. Unlikely, I know, but if anyone sees a pile of dumped bags in the Norton Lees area of Sheffield, please let me know! Or unlikelier still, the car itself: red Mazda CX-30, LL70 GJF.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

1 year

Yellow car.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

2 years

Thank you for all the good wishes about the car theft. Sorry not to reply individually - as you can imagine, it’s been a busy day. Some good news- a lovely woman found and collected up a few of our things she found discarded in a hedge… including at least some of the notebooks!

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

2 years

I have just sewn a button back on my coat with one of those little sewing kits you get in hotels, and I am feeling roughly the sense of pride and accomplishment which would be justified had I hand-made the entire coat.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

Apparently we're twelve today! Crikey...

British Comedy Shop

@BritComedyShop

4 years

On this date in 2008, Cabin Pressure popped up for the first time on the radio. All the series are on CD:

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

1 year

Not sure whether the hysterical laughter I hear in my head when reading this is loudest from Douglas or Herc….

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

1 year

I’m afraid I’m not going to answer questions about Good Omens, because once you start, where do you stop? Except this one: the odd title of the minisode I wrote, the Job one in episode 2, refers to this Bible verse. (And yes, I do slightly wish I’d just called it ‘The Job One’…)

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

2 years

Occasionally people ask me how Martin’s doing these days. He’s doing great. (Via @SmilingBenedict and @brandiwein1982 - thanks!)

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

Happy to say a brand new series of John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme starts today at 18:30 on BBC Radio 4, and then available on BBC Sounds. Inspired by the need to record it without an audience, I'm trying something rather different this series. I very much hope you enjoy it.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

An old friend of mine wanted to let you know how he’s getting on...

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

Me: I am a writer, and occasional crossword setter. Analysing words and noticing the subtle connections between them is both my profession and my hobby. Also me: It has taken me forty two years to notice macadamia nuts are named after a guy called MacAdam.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

1 year

Oscar, Oscar. Sometimes if I wonder if you’re really French at all.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

Best wishes to all the vicars, curates and priests across England who are right now nervously preparing to do their football metaphor...

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

I like the Guardian’s new rhyming headlines, but I think they should be longer Cummings’ contempt for lockdown rules Makes the public feel like fools Is it now safe to open schools? How about spas and swimming pools? Rage and indignation fuels This new piece of Fintan O’Toole’s.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

7 years

Another big question answered down at the library...

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

8 years

Might as well just rename Twitter 'Ok, What's He Done Now...?'

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

This is not me trying to sell my stuff, because it’s free... but if you’re an anxious Good Omens fan who’s never heard of me, and wants to know what kind of a writer I am, this is the last show I wrote.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

Happy to say BBC Radio 4 have decided to follow up repeating series 1 of Cabin Pressure with, of all things, series 2. So, @DavidTylerPozz and I will be back at the old stand live-tweeting along with it this Sunday at 7.15...

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

8 years

Amazing how he always wildly signals his worries by denial, like a sitcom character: 'Very, very organised, and nothing at all's on fire.'

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

5 years

A lovely thing happened to me yesterday. Enormous thanks to @TheWritersGuild . I still can’t quite believe it... #wggbawards

The Writers' Guild

@TheWritersGuild

5 years

… and the #wggbawards Outstanding Contribution to Writing Award goes to - drum roll - @JohnFinnemore

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

- So, remember, I don’t want any windows on this wall. - Got it. Very few windows. - ...No windows. - Right, yep. Only one window. - NO windows. - Yeah, ok. One very small window. - NO windows! None at all! - - - ......one really TINY window, blocked on the inside? - ......fine.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

6 years

Merry Christmas! I hope God gives you all a restful and Merry one, and doesn’t accidentally lock any of you in a flying cupboard with a pair of idiots. X

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

This evening, I shall be amusing myself with a three dimensional jigsaw of a whale. Where does one find such a thing? Well, you won’t believe this, but I actually made it myself. All you do is buy a ceramic sculpture of a whale, and then very simply knock it off a shelf.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

Get Dressed Ye Merry Gentlemen, 2020

Merry (ish) Christmas from John, Arthur, and all at OJS Air!

www.youtube.com

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

5 years

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

6 years

Thanks to @rebelruns for alerting me to what claim to be the official rules of the Yellow Car game. I showed them to Arthur. He... well, he had some amendments to suggest.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

2 years

Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet…

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

6 years

I know just how this feels. I recently, in the face of a huge and terrifying deadline, decided it was urgently time to remove all my DVDs from their boxes and organise them into slip-cases.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

8 months

Geeeeet DRESSED, ye merry gentlemen!

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

Oh no. It’s happened again. That terrible moment when you awaken from a suspiciously deep sleep to find yourself at a desk next to a buzzer and a kazoo… and you realise that you are about to be given Silly Things To Do. #isihac

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

6 years

When I fall off the don’t-retweet-praise wagon, I fall off it hard...

Philip Pullman

@PhilipPullman

6 years

Read all about the greatest radio sitcom ever:

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

It’s possible the Science Museum isn’t EXACTLY the closest vaccination centre to where I live. But once I saw it was an option... I mean, c’mon. What better place?

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

This is a dangerous thing to cycle past for anyone who grew up watching as many 1980s films containing ridiculous car chases as I did. There’s still a part of me that’s absolutely confident I’d land upright on the roof of the white van....

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

8 years

Geeeeeeeet dressed, you merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay; for it is Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Day!

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

1 year

This year’s 45 minute long John Finnemore’s Souvenir Programme arrives today on Radio 4 at 2:45, and on BBC Sounds after that. (I’m planning to do one a year from now on) It’s a return to the style of series 1-8, rather than s9, but I hope to revisit those characters elsewhere.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

6 years

*clears throat*

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

Jane Austen wrote this in 1814, and she’s not wrong.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 months

Poking my head round the gate of the abandoned funfair just long enough to shout “There’s a new episode of Souvenir Programme on BBC Sounds!” and “I’m doing a show at the Ludlow Fringe in June!”, and then running off again.

John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme - 2024 Special - BBC Sounds

Another one-off return for the multi-award-winning sketch show.

www.bbc.co.uk

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

I don’t know whether the bookshop did this deliberately or not, but either way I enjoy it every time I go past.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

This was fun. Ridiculously difficult, but fun. If you like puzzles, and fancy a lockdown project, I highly recommend it!

Jay Richardson

@jayirichardson

4 years

John Finnemore solves world's 'most difficult literary puzzle', becoming third winner in 100 years:

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

8 years

Surprised to discover Richard Scarry illustrated Cabin Pressure... in 1968.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

8 years

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

2 years

My server tonight had a necklace with a ‘2000’ pendant. I was idly wondering what it commemorated - Marriage? First kid? - when at last I realised with a dull thud that the only thing they could possibly have done in 2000 was be born. Oh dear, I’m old.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

If this all turns out to be because some idiot asked a genie for ‘world peace’, I’m going to be so cross.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

8 years

Bin Day. The Movie.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

The other day I was in a toy shop, in which you could buy a toy shop. I know what your next question will be, and I can’t be sure, but I THINK the answer is... yes.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

My 30 minute radio play The Queen’s Speech is now available here. I won’t say Stephanie Cole was born to play Queen Victoria, because there are so many roles she was born to play. But I will say that Queen Victoria was born to be played by Stephanie Cole.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

2 years

I’m sitting outside a cafe, working in a notebook, and I was just wondering whether it was time to give a name to a character I’ve so far only been referring to as ‘A’; and if so, what. At that moment, a coach pulled up loudly beside me. I looked up. …Alright, then.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

2 years

8) Finally, thanks again for the messages of support and help when it happened and congratulations now. I really appreciate it... and I apologise to the many people who were disappointed to learn that I do not drive a yellow car. END

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

5 years

I have done...

CBC

@CBC

5 years

Check out these remarkable bears swimming outside Qikiqtarjuaq. | @CBCNunavut 📷: Kayla Alison #majestic #nature #NaturePhotography #polarbears #Canada #north

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

8 months

I’ve not been coming to this place for the last few months; in recognition of all the new management’s hard work in making it harder to use, less rewarding, and ethically uncomfortable. However, it seems a shame to break a certain little personal tradition. So…

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

5 years

Wile E Coyote hints at plan to catch Road Runner before end of cartoon.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

Passed these gravestones today, and shuddered to myself to think of the truly terrible poem I would have written if I’d seen them when I was seventeen...

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

10 years

Thank you for flying MJN Air!

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

2 years

My coffee just arrived with two sugar lumps and a biscuit that is a Master Of Disguise…

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

Just realised that whenever I hear ‘Sue Gray’, I’m picturing Jackie Weaver.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

Say what you like about Edwin Poots, but back when he became DUP leader, the pears in my fridge were far too hard to eat... and now they’re just right. Mission accomplished.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

8 years

. @BBCRadio4Extra An episode in which a plane is in trouble, and Benedict Cumberbatch's character has to land it. Some themes are eternal...

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

...I’m sorry, it’s doing what?

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

Sometimes I almost miss the days when the question of whether people took three, four, or five attempts to solve a word game was left a delicious, tantalising mystery.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

@neilhimself ...Uh-oh. Does this mean I’m not writing on Series 2 after all? I THOUGHT it was odd you wanted all that Bitcoin sent to Venezuala...

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

7 years

A little piece of Yorkshire in the heart of France...

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

Dear God, Frosty, what have you DONE...?

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

It always makes me nervous when someone on Twitter *checks notes*. Were we all supposed to be keeping notes? I haven’t made any notes. Can I copy someone’s notes?

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

6 years

Well, well. He had a good run, but... *puts feet up on table, lights pipe, tips hat over eyes* ...I guess that’s the last we’ll ever hear of Mr Boris Johnson...

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

Today it was my job to pretend to be a spaceman. Can’t believe I just gave this stuff away when I was seven….

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

7 years

(I mean, what idiot let Arthur have 280 characters?)

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

6 years

Man on phone as I passed by: ‘It could make us a lot of money... but it could also prove to be problematic.’ So, writers rejoice! Every now and again real people DO actually say those clunky lines of exposition that no-one would ever actually say!

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

I wish I could stop myself constantly checking the news, but, as they say in France...

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

What’s the best novel you’ve read published this century? RULES 1) Only ONE. No ‘Either X or Y’. No ‘Anything by Z’. I’m making you choose. One novel. 2) Published in or after 2000. 3) That you have read, to the end. 4) You can interpret the silly word ‘best’ however you like.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

I have a comedy writer's joke, or at least a draft of one, definitely the set-up, anyway, I just want to take another look at the punchline, but I'll get it to you by the weekend. Or definitely Monday morning. Tuesday at the very latest. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Thursday, I PROMISE.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

1 year

I like that the inclusion of Paul’s epistles in the Bible means that there are some verses of Holy Writ that are essentially: ‘Everyone here says hi’ or ‘Oh, can you bring that coat I left next time you’re over?’

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

5 years

“Tower, this is Romeo Tango India... our ground speed is now zero... but for some reason we still seem to be in the air. I wonder if someone could bring us a ladder?” (FAO: @Skipper747236 )

Aeronews

@AeronewsGlobal

5 years

‘From now on, that’s how you land!’ Earlier today at @HeathrowAirport : @Airbus A380 @EtihadAirways , crosswind landing during #StormDennis . Video: 🇬🇧 @AirbusPRESS @a380fanclub @stef_schaffrath @sara_rcc @AirbusintheUK

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

More news from Arthur... Cabin Fever - Episode 2: Fitton

Cabin Fever - Episode 2: Fitton

Another update from my friend Arthur - JF. (You can buy me a coffee at ko-fi.com/johnfinnemore if you like, but it's also fine not to. Arthur's making these...

www.youtube.com

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

6 years

Am sitting in a cafe in Leamington before the show. Nice couple at the next table have come in for a pre-theatre meal. Waitress is asking them about the show they’re going to see. They’re attempting to describe it. I’m learning a lot.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

6 years

Day 43. Blizzard worse than ever. Have been forced to abandon the vehicle, and continue on foot. If I don’t make it, tell Mr. Teddy I love him.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

2 years

Hearty congratulations to the people of Sidmouth on this achievement. And glad to hear they have the pictures to prove it.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

3 years

- So... Is it true that you live in an old engine house? - No. I do not live in AN old engine house. I live in...

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

2 years

*clears throat*

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

4 years

And my award for best decoration of the season goes, hands down, to this cafe, for chucking a length of tinsel and three baubles onto the giant spider decoration that’s been hanging there since Hallowe’en. A perfect summing-up of Christmas 2020.

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John Finnemore

@JohnFinnemore

1 year

Ordered a mundane, grown-up product from a company who have just emailed me to assure me that setting it up will be “as easy as bibbidy-bobbidy-boo’; and now I am genuinely regretting my purchase.

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